Underfunded Schools Forced To Cut Past Tense From Language Programs

via: The Onion

Faced with ongoing budget crises, underfunded schools nationwide are increasingly left with no option but to cut the past tense—a grammatical construction traditionally used to relate all actions, and states that have transpired at an earlier point in time—from their standard English and language arts programs.

A part of American school curricula for more than 200 years, the past tense was deemed by school administrators to be too expensive to keep in primary and secondary education.

“This was by no means an easy decision, but teaching our students how to conjugate verbs in a way that would allow them to describe events that have already occurred is a luxury that we can no longer afford,” Phoenix-area high-school principal Sam Pennock said. “With our current budget, the past tense must unfortunately become a thing of the past.”

Continue reading… (THIS IS SATIRE)

Clever…

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6 thoughts on “Underfunded Schools Forced To Cut Past Tense From Language Programs

  1. Bad policy, very bad indeed….We will have a society that can’t spell, never look’s at history and does not know how to construct a sentance….Million’s like me but maybe lacking the hunger to learn even at a late time in life….Every generation is suposto be better educated than the last, or at least that’s what I thought…Now we have a society that is pramoting, buy them a book, send them to school and make sure they don’t know anything……Blessings

  2. Really this is good news. I heard they were going to cut out language and just go with text message abbreviation to save even more money. OMG, RFLMAO, BFF.

  3. I was hoping they’d cut out the pluperfect.
    Except I only remember that from Latin, can’t even remember what it is!

  4. Now see, this is what happen’s to an uneducated person when I missed the satire thingie all together..I still say, no more dumming down, educate…Especiely old women like me….LOL.Blessings

  5. Well since I have a daughter who can’t spell my text message plan works really well for me. Usually she can figure out the first letter of a word. Except on words like usually.

  6. It is my contention that the first chore of every morning for everybody should be the completion of (*) the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times Crossword puzzles, correctly, in ink, with no strike overs. No answer, no breakfast. I have been at it for some forty years and accomplish the task rarely (usually on a Monday through Thursday as they get harder as the week progresses). And don’t be saying I am accumulating a lot of useless knowledge! That knowledge is very important and useful for working–return to (*).

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