Scrolling finger getting tired! Let’s continue the joke fest on this thread!!!
March 13, 2008...10:05 pm
Did you hear the one…? Part deux
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Scrolling finger getting tired! Let’s continue the joke fest on this thread!!!
197 Comments
March 13, 2008 at 10:07 pm
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, and anything else that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.
David, frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, “I’m sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness.”
David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, “May I ask what the chicken did?”
March 13, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Just trying to be helpful here folks!
Amazingly simple home remedies:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
March 13, 2008 at 10:10 pm
You look lonley.
March 13, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Lonley??? UGH!
March 13, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Great picture of “dubya”! Great smile.
March 13, 2008 at 10:14 pm
LOL. Very smart parrot Zooey! Good joke!
March 13, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I’ll keep those hints, Merlin. I should have had someone hold that onion from me earlier this week…thank goodness for fingernails.
March 13, 2008 at 10:18 pm
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Penis
March 13, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Yeah, I like the idea of the elephant walking AWAY from us.
March 13, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Ick, Dana Perino is on TDS?
March 13, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Blazing Penises!
March 13, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Ick, Dana Perino is on TDS?
March 13, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Oh man, there is nothing worse than an angry penis!!
March 13, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I hope Jon asks about the Bay of Pigs.
March 13, 2008 at 10:20 pm
It pisses me off sometimes to see some of the people Stewart has on. Why give these schmucks a platform?
March 13, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Money as the root of all evil…
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .
She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?”
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.
The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”
March 13, 2008 at 10:20 pm
And she knows soooo much about the economy too.
March 13, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Don’t know much about history,
Don’t know much biology,
Don’t know much about…
Signed: D P (shit)
March 13, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Zooey
March 13, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I’ll keep those hints, Merlin. I should have had someone hold that onion from me earlier this week…thank goodness for fingernails.
You almost had a real reason to cry…
March 13, 2008 at 10:23 pm
LMAO Merlin!
March 13, 2008 at 10:23 pm
He is being so condescending toward her. Love it.
March 13, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Merlin sez:
You almost had a real reason to cry…
I just cussed A LOT!
March 13, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Did you hear about the gay whale?
He bit the end off a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.
March 13, 2008 at 10:25 pm
This one is for Wayne Schneider
Fun with words
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET’S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
March 13, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Damn this hotel room! I can’t watch any video at all. The connection times out all the time.
Oh well, I will have a week of watching all TDS when I get home.
March 13, 2008 at 10:26 pm
MJ were you talking about the Spitzer money or the Democratic majority in the state house?
March 13, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Damn, Mr Evil!
I have a “seamen” joke, but I thought it would be too much.
I guess not.
March 13, 2008 at 10:27 pm
John wants Dana.
March 13, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Go for it Zooey.
March 13, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Shayne
March 13, 2008 at 12:08 am
MJ went to bed. I was doing some work and missed her. I believe they went after Spitzer for evil reasons. I heard something from some Repug that the Lt. Governor would have given the Democrats a majority vote in the state but now that Spitzer is gone and he’s going to be governor they won’t have the majority. Like I said I heard Spitzer’s family is worth half a billion so even moving around a million here or there shouldn’t arouse much suspicion. So they were out to get him but if hadn’t been using the hookers I don’t think he’d step down.
March 13, 2008 at 10:31 pm
And now the origin of the “finger wave”.
Whether this is true or not is an open question. Never the less it is a fun explanation.
The origin of “giving the middle finger” or “flipping the bird.”
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating
victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured
English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to
draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable
of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the
native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known
as ”plucking the yew” (or ”pluck yew”) .
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset
and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the
defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since ’pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant
cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals
fricative ’ F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the
one-finger-salute.
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the
longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ”giving the bird.”
March 13, 2008 at 10:32 pm
What do they do with broken down cars in West Virginia?
They build a house next to them.
March 13, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Two whales are swimming along in the ocean, when the spot a tanker ship in the distance. The male says to the female, “Let’s go blow bubbles under that ship, and make them think it’s gonna sink.” She agrees.
They blow the bubbles, and laugh at the panicking sailors. The male says, “Let’s do it again!” The female sighs, and they blow so many bubbles under the ship that it sinks.
The whales are watching the sailors bobbing in the ocean, and laughing themselves silly.
The male whale says, “Let’s go give ‘em a scare and pretend to eat them.”
The female says, “Look, I agreed to the two blow jobs, but if you think I’m swallowing seamen…”
March 13, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Oh, that female whale needs to man up
March 13, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Hahahahahahaha Zooey! As they say…. nahhh
March 13, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Zooey
March 13, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Oooooh…
March 13, 2008 at 10:36 pm
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.
March 13, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Lordy, I hope my mom’s not reading this tonight.
March 13, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Stephen Colbert: Once you pass 70 you can say whatever you want about black people…and chinamen.
March 13, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Local joke:
How do you compliment a woman in a bar in Weippe?
Nice tooth.
March 13, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I used to date a girl from the south.
She was missing so many teeth it looked like her tongue was in jail.
March 13, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Good times, eh, Mr. Evil?
March 13, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I was hoping for no teeth. I’ve heard stories…
March 13, 2008 at 10:39 pm
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
March 13, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Why do southern guys go to family reunions?
To meet chicks!
March 13, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Another local joke:
How can you tell which woman is the bride at a wedding in Weippe?
Clean t-shirt.
March 13, 2008 at 10:41 pm
It pays to be a rancher I guess…
A rancher in San Angelo, Texas, went to the local branch of Wachovia to borrow money for a new bull.
The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow. Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.
Next week Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.
The farmer looked very pleased. ‘The bull has serviced all of my cows! He even broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor’s cows! He’s been breeding just about everything in sight. He’s like a machine!’
‘Wow,’ said Banker Bill , ‘what did the vet do to that bull?’
‘Just gave him some pills,’ replied the farmer.
‘What kind of pills?’ asked Banker Bill .
‘I don’t know, but they kind of taste like peppermint.’
March 13, 2008 at 10:41 pm
More:
If a man and woman divorce in Weippe, are they still brother and sister?
March 13, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Mr Evil sez:
I was hoping for no teeth. I’ve heard stories…
They still have fingernails.
Heh.
March 13, 2008 at 10:42 pm
good one merlin.
March 13, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Mmmmm, peppermint….
March 13, 2008 at 10:44 pm
yes, fingernails!
March 13, 2008 at 10:45 pm
What was O.J. Simpson’s college fraternity?
De Kappa Tata
March 13, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Yikes, have we offended everyone else?
March 13, 2008 at 10:46 pm
MJ here’s a little bit that shows are the Rethugs are chafing about Democratic control. Apparently Patterson had the tie breaking vote but with Spitzer gone and him moving up that takes control away. This article doesn’t say that but that’s what somebody said on television yesterday.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/28/nyregion/28albany.html
March 13, 2008 at 10:46 pm
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the
longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ”giving the bird.”
Here’s a fun little tongue twister that I heard Jim Lampley do (in censored outtakes) at the end of one of Comedy Central’s election night coverages.
I’m a pheasant plucker
I’m a pheasant plucker’s son
And I’m plucking pleasant pheasants
‘Til the pheasant-plucking’s done
I’m not the pheasant plucker
I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate
And I’m plucking pleasant pheasants
‘Cause the pheasant plucker’s late
March 13, 2008 at 10:46 pm
April is approaching us all at 700 miles per hour. Here is how we can escape the collision.
Dear IRS,
Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see
the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value
$1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the “Presidential Election
Fund,” as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5″ Phillips Head
screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5″ Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward
to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer
March 13, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I am totally offended!! Eh, I am tired. Night all.
March 13, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I am enjoying the ride. No offense here at all!
Thanks, Shayne!!
March 13, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Night night, JP. Sweet dreams!
March 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Risky one, Wayne.
March 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm
A long haired hippie is hitchhiking down south gets picked up by a trucker.
After a few minutes the hippie says to the trucker, “well aren’t you going to ask me if I’m a boy or a girl?”
The trucker said, “don’t matter, I’m gonna fuck ya anyway.”
March 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Goodnight, JP!
March 13, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Republican trucker, Mr Evil?
March 13, 2008 at 10:50 pm
goodnight Sabyen
March 13, 2008 at 10:50 pm
One Life To Penis
One Penis To Live
Days of Our Penises
As The Penis Turns
General Penis
Penis Hospital
Penis Or No Penis
The Biggest Penis
The Penis Loser
Better Homes and Penises
Better Penises and Gardens
The Daily Penis
The Penis Show
The Penis Report
The Colbert Penis
South Penis
Penis Park
Penis Together
Drawn Penis
L’il Penis
Penis Bush
March 13, 2008 at 10:51 pm
More than likely. Toe tapping down the road to pass the time and maybe a little practice for when they hit the rest area.
March 13, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Good night, JP
March 13, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Penis Bush? Is that like saying fuck Bush? Me likey!
March 13, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Goodnight, JP!
March 13, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Don’t forget Bill O’Reilly’s show….
The No Penis Zone!
March 13, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Mr. E…he’s a gooper…do you REALLY think it’s a no penis zone? I think not!!
March 13, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Christ Matthews Hardpenis
Tucker Carlson’s ill-fated, self-named show, “Penis”
March 13, 2008 at 10:56 pm
You know all that macho, warmongering, tough talk, bullying crap all the time. It’s just a cover for the fact that they are all probably hung like a pimple.
March 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm
The No Penis Zone!
The All Dildo Zone.
March 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I think Matthews is definitely more of a Softpenis myself.
March 13, 2008 at 10:58 pm
“…hung like a pimple.” Good one.
March 13, 2008 at 10:59 pm
I wonder about the Romney penis.
Any one notice that most of his five sons don’t look anything like him?
March 13, 2008 at 10:59 pm
The X-Penises
The Penis Files
Penis Break!
Prison Penis!
Big Penis
Penis Brother
American Penis
Penis Idol
March 13, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Any one notice that most of his five sons don’t look anything like him?
Sired by one of the church elders (he asked, in a rumor-mongering way)?
March 13, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: He was dead.
March 13, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Okay, honey, stop thinking “penis”, we have to go to bed.
March 13, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Little boy goes up to his daddy and says, “Daddy, what are those two things on momma’s chest?” Dad says, “Well son, those are balloons and when your momma dies, we’ll blow them up and she’ll float on up to heaven.” The kid eats this right up. A couple of days later the little boy calls his dad at work. “Daddy, come home quick!! Come home quick!! Momma’s dying!! Momma’s dying!! Dad says, “Why son? I just talked to her a little while ago and she sounded fine.” Little boy says, “Come home quick!! Come home quick!! Some man’s in there blowing up her balloons and she’s yelling ‘Oh my god I’m coming’.”
March 13, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Poor monkey.
March 13, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Here are some quickies:
You know why they made white chocolate?
So little black kids could get messy too.
How do you keep a bunch of Puerto Ricans from ripping off your house?
You put a ‘Now Hiring’ sign in the window.
Did you here about the Mexican who went to college?
Me either.
What’s the difference between a Mexican and a computer?
You only have to punch the information into the computer once.
Really, some of this is true!
How about the midget that killed himself playing ping pong.
He got too excited and ran off the table.
March 13, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I know, I know, totally tasteless.
March 13, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Well all…I am going to watch the repeat of Countdown and hit the sack.
Night night all! Sweet dreams all around!
March 13, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Wayne and roket, too funny!
March 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Same to you MsJoanne!
March 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Ew, Mr Evil.
Goodnight, MizzJ!
March 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm
‘Night, MsJoanne!
March 13, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Roket,
Oops.
March 13, 2008 at 11:10 pm
I’m going to reveal myself to all. If anyone wants to know what a 47 year old crazed Metalhead looks like go here. http://www.myspace.com/_metalmike_
If any of you have a myspace page shoot me a friend request and I’d be more than happy to add you.
March 13, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Good night, MsJoanne
And thanks all. I enjoyed everyone;s jokes. Great idea for a theme party. On my computer at work, I have a whole bunch of jokes that I saved from e-mails. I’ll copy them to my portable hardrive and bring them home for the next joke party. I’ve got a couple of hundred to choose from.
March 13, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I love jokes, the more the merrier. As if you couldn’t tell.
March 13, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Goodnight, everyone, see you this weekend.
March 13, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Goodnight Wayne and Jane.
March 13, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Thank’s LadyZ,..I had to fix something to eat so missed a bunch and just now catching up. Funny joke’s all….Look’s like every one is leaving already..Boo hoo….See I’m alway’s late, sorry…..Blessings
March 13, 2008 at 11:22 pm
This is a joke party, not a flasher party, Mr Evil!
Wayne, I’m looking forward to your hundreds of jokes.
I think I’ll have another one of these next Thursday night. Hmmm….
March 13, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Goodnight, Wayne & Jane!
March 13, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Mr Evil,
Is that a current picture of you on MySpace?
March 13, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Better late than pregnant, Great Lady.
March 13, 2008 at 11:25 pm
The Thursday night Jokefest.
Live, from The Zoo!
March 13, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Mr Evil lives in Kentucky? Mr Evil is now my BFF!
March 13, 2008 at 11:26 pm
What kind of alcohol is made in Kentucky, gummitch? Heh.
March 13, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I must say Zooey, my compliments.
This place is such a welcomed relief to the sometimes unbridled chaos over at TP. And no trolls!
March 13, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Yike’s! at my age that’s a dreadful thought, although, I would make medical history since the age thing is way over the top and exposure is non existant…LOL.Blessings
March 13, 2008 at 11:30 pm
All the great kinds that make you drunk on Saturday night!
March 13, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Where you from gummitch?
March 13, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Thank you, Mr Evil. I think we have a nice thing going here.
I used to get mucho satisfaction from spamming a certain presidential troll when we first started.
March 13, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Spamming trolls! That so sounds like fun!!! They get bent so easily.
March 13, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Yep!,,My compliment’s to the crew at the Zoo….Good Idea for the Thursday night crowd Lady Z….I’m anxious for the Friday night music fest…Better toddle off…Blessings all and have a great night posting.
March 13, 2008 at 11:35 pm
The best thing was, there was no talking to them — just hit the spam button. They’d get so frustrated! It was just adorable.
March 13, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Goodnight, Great Lady.
Get your music list in early, I got a better offer.
March 13, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Mr Evil, gummitch is in Portland. He likes to brag about their great weather.
March 13, 2008 at 11:38 pm
goodnight witch. Damn that sounded like I was talking to my wife!
March 13, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Uh, how early.?…..Blessings
March 13, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Heh. Before 5 p.m., cuz then I’m gone. That’s not too early.
March 13, 2008 at 11:41 pm
You are so funny Mr. Evil..My X alway’s refered to my as the ball bearing bitch…LOL…Blessings
March 13, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Damn, Mr Evil is married. I was going to summon Yenta one of these evenings….
March 13, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Wahoo for Lady Zoo…..I will get it done before noon…Blessings
March 13, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Thank you witch1.
March 13, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Summon Yenta? Forgive my ignorance but, you must now educate me.
March 13, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Ball bearing bitch? I can understand why he’s your X!
March 13, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Yenta is an annoying alter ego of mine. Always trying to fix up the Zoo people.
March 13, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Well you have your fun with Yenta anytime you want. Sounds like fun. See how the people react to your wishes.
Yenta night coming soon to The Zoo!
March 13, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Oy, they’d kick me off the Zoo for sure!
Yenta was whispering in my ear about a certain match for Mr Evil, but Mrs Evil would take exception to that, I’m sure. *sigh*
March 13, 2008 at 11:57 pm
It’s been excellent here tonight. I’m off to bed. See you tomorrow on the new TP. Wonder what it’ll be like.
March 13, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Just for shits and giggles what did Yenta say?
March 14, 2008 at 12:00 am
OT but thought you might enjoy!
Bush wants ‘romance’ of fighting on front line
US President George W. Bush has said he would love to fight in Afghanistan if he was younger.
President Bush suggested fighting on the frontline was “romantic” during a video conference with US military and civilian personnel in the war-torn country.
“I must say, I’m a little envious,” he said.
Posted Mar 13, 2008 04:29 PM PST
March 14, 2008 at 12:01 am
He’s such a sick fuck. He put the pathological in pathological liar!
March 14, 2008 at 12:03 am
This is cute!
Official White Horse Souse
March 14, 2008 at 12:05 am
Heh. She said, “Es iz nit geshtoygen un nit gefloygen.”
Heh.
Thanks for hanging out tonight, Mr Evil. It was really fun.
March 14, 2008 at 12:06 am
I think the Chimp should give in to his romantic ideals, and lead the charge.
Fuckwit.
March 14, 2008 at 12:09 am
Hmmmm… now I have to stay up. Must decipher the cryptic message of the Great Yenta. I do love a challenge.
March 14, 2008 at 12:10 am
I’m sure we’ll hear all about that tomorrow. Go George, Go! Please! Go now!
March 14, 2008 at 12:13 am
Heh. Shouldn’t take you long.
March 14, 2008 at 12:17 am
It means I was bullshitting you.
March 14, 2008 at 12:17 am
A closing story from a woman’s point of view…Nite all. Its been fun!
A Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells out window, B I T C H!
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day: If only men would listen
March 14, 2008 at 12:19 am
That’s a great one, Merlin!
Goodnight!
March 14, 2008 at 12:22 am
Damn, I must be missing something linguistically or I’m just stupid. Hint offering?
March 14, 2008 at 12:23 am
Damn. I stepped in that one! hahaha
March 14, 2008 at 12:26 am
It’s not nice to bullshit Mr. Evil!
March 14, 2008 at 12:27 am
It’s a specialty of mine.
March 14, 2008 at 12:28 am
Hazing and bullshitting. Heh.
March 14, 2008 at 12:28 am
As they say everyone has a talent.
March 14, 2008 at 12:29 am
Now that I’m still up because of Yenta, where are you from? If I may ask.
March 14, 2008 at 12:31 am
I’m originally from California, but I live in Idaho for now.
March 14, 2008 at 12:32 am
How recent is your MySpace picture?
March 14, 2008 at 12:35 am
It’s about a year old. Taken right before my birthday last year. I’ll be 48 on the 31st.
Age is just a number not a state of mind. I don’t even have gray hair yet!
I’ll soon have 27 years of experience being 21!
Idaho. Wow. Must be collldd up there!
March 14, 2008 at 12:36 am
If you click on the pics tab below my default pic you can see tons more. Some look like shit. Some are ok.
March 14, 2008 at 12:39 am
Yep, it was snowing this afternoon. Pain in the butt, since I’m on Spring Break.
You’re just a few months younger than me. Do you have kids?
March 14, 2008 at 12:41 am
One son. He’s 14. We had 4 inches last Friday night. My son and I went sledding.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love sledding!
March 14, 2008 at 12:42 am
You’re in school? Studying for?….
March 14, 2008 at 12:45 am
I love snow too. One of the few adults that actually says that.
March 14, 2008 at 12:45 am
Ugh, I’m dead tired of snow this winter.
Seems like forever since my men were 14. Mine are 25 & 20.
I’m studying Psychology.
March 14, 2008 at 12:46 am
I normally love snow, but we got about 4 feet of the stuff this winter, and I’m completely over it for this year.
March 14, 2008 at 12:49 am
Psychology. I love it. Definitely gives you an advantage dealing with the goopers on TP!
I’m ready for some warmth too. I want to fire up my grill and have some bratwurst and steaks.
March 14, 2008 at 12:52 am
There are some pretty sad cases on TP. I really feel sorry for people who can’t survive without being told what to do and how to think.
But let’s not talk about my family.
I’m anxious to get my tomato plants planted on my deck.
March 14, 2008 at 12:54 am
The only things I know about Idaho are the incredible pictures I’ve seen. And I love Boise State’s blue football field!
March 14, 2008 at 12:55 am
Go Broncos!
March 14, 2008 at 12:57 am
My dad listens to Rush. Ugh!!! I always ask him at every opportunity why he gets his politics spoon fed to him by a junkie.
March 14, 2008 at 12:57 am
Oy, Smurf Turf.
I’m up north in Moscow. Go Vandals!
Google “Palouse,” and you’ll see what the country around here looks like. Just a little further north are the trees and mountains. Nice.
March 14, 2008 at 12:58 am
He just gives me this stern look like I just broke a priceless vase or something. I laugh my ass off!
March 14, 2008 at 12:59 am
Hmmm…
Mr Evil…
Geez… you look just like I expected you to…
What a strange coinkidink…
March 14, 2008 at 12:59 am
I had to stop discussing politics with my dad. It was too maddening. Although he did admit recently that he is so done with Bush, and he thinks McCain has lost his mind. Progress!
March 14, 2008 at 1:00 am
Well, if it isn’t the polar bear. Wolf girl will be so disappointed she missed you.
March 14, 2008 at 1:00 am
Rolling hills, open prairie, beautiful country. I’m moving!
March 14, 2008 at 1:01 am
Yeah.. well that jes’ might be a one way street, if ya know what I mean…
And I’m sure all the lemmings would agree…
March 14, 2008 at 1:02 am
I prefer more trees, and thank goodness we have lots of trees in Moscow.
March 14, 2008 at 1:02 am
Polar bear = great friend of the lemming.
March 14, 2008 at 1:02 am
Who says old dogs can’t learn new tricks? I keep hammering on mine hoping for his awakening.
March 14, 2008 at 1:04 am
Good luck with that, Mr Evil. Those old boys are tough to crack.
March 14, 2008 at 1:05 am
“… McCain has lost his mind…”
A little clarification here…
Did McCain lose HIS mind, or Botch’s?
I mean, after all, McCain seems to think just like Botch these days. Does this mean that McC borrowed Botch’s brain? He does have KKKarl on his team these days.
Does Botch even know someone borrowed his brain? Does McC have any idea where he lost it?
March 14, 2008 at 1:06 am
Well, let’s just say me ‘n tha lemmings git along because I’m not allus tryin’ ta et ‘em, like some folks does… hint… hint…
March 14, 2008 at 1:07 am
My brain hurts now, TRoS.
March 14, 2008 at 1:07 am
Sooooo, not on such good terms with the seals? Or Flipper?
March 14, 2008 at 1:10 am
I think McCain is hurting from that crooked stick in his ass. Watch him when he gives a speech. He walks back and forth so stiff like one of those toys that bumps into the wall and just turns around and walks the other way until he bumps into another wall….
March 14, 2008 at 1:10 am
YOUR brain hurts?
How do you think Botch’s feels?
Lost , lonely… somewhere there’s a numb skull wondering where its brain went… not ta mention how bad McC must feel.
Saaay… mebbe someone turned tha brain in at one of the Lost ‘N Found thingies… ‘n it’s jes’ sitting’ in a closet, wi’t some old umbrellies ‘n a mitten or 2.
March 14, 2008 at 1:12 am
It’s the Anamatronic McCain. In stores near you!
March 14, 2008 at 1:12 am
Flipper? Why, I have NEVER tried ta eat a dolphin…
Seals? Weeeeell… hookay… thas another story…
March 14, 2008 at 1:13 am
A mouse probably swallowed the tiny brain. Poor mouse.
You never tried to eat a dolphin, or you couldn’t catch one?
March 14, 2008 at 1:14 am
Looking at a picture of the Camas Prairie Winery. Some big red rocking chair, Moscow City Hall.