Veruca Salt Award — Hillary Clinton!

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The first ever Veruca Salt Award given by TheZoo, after much deliberation by the committee, has been awarded to Hillary Rodham Clinton. Actually, we couldn’t think of anyone more deserving…Veruca Salt

The Veruca Salt Award is named in honor of the character from the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Veruca is a spoiled rotten child, who’s parents treat her like a princess, who thinks she can take whatever she wants whenever she wants it, and her wants and desires rise above all else. She embodies the Deadly Sin of Greed, with touches of Envy and Wrath. A thoroughly unpleasant character, naturally she ends up in the garbage chute.

The awards committee has had their eye on Hillary Clinton for some time now, but this story written by Willyloman, on his blog the American Everyman, finally tipped the scales in her favor.

Hillary’s response to Barack Obama’s speech on race in America was typically snide and condescending:

“That’s the difference between me and my opponent. My opponent makes speeches. I offer solutions. It is one thing to get people excited. I want to empower you,”

“Now, over the years, you’ve heard plenty of promises from plenty of people in plenty of speeches. And some of those speeches were probably pretty good. But speeches don’t put food on the table. Speeches don’t fill up your tank, or fill your prescription, or do anything about that stack of bills that keeps you up at night,” Reuters

Willyloman took note of Hillary’s words, and posted these astonishing numbers from her recently released tax returns.

CUMULATIVE TOTAL(GROSS) INCOME: $109,175,175

Including, among other items:

  • Senator Clinton’s Senate Salary: $1,051,606
  • President Clinton’s Presidential Pension: $1,217,250
  • Senator Clinton’s Book Income: $10,457,083
  • President Clinton’s Book Income: $29,580,525
  • President Clinton’s Speech Income: $51,855,599

52 million dollars puts a lot of food on the table for most Americans.

Well stated, Willyloman. What about that stack of bills…?

And since they are given free universal health-care, on our dime, she isn’t spending any nights up worrying about those bills either. Can’t say the same for her campaign staff though.

That’s right, the Clinton campaign failed to pay the health insurance bills for her staff. Maybe they should make speeches…?

Even this isn’t enough to qualify Ms Clinton for an award as prestigious as the Veruca Salt Award, you say? Well, here are a few things that pushed our winner to the top of the heap:

Hillary Clinton asks pledged Obama delegates in North Dakota to switch.

Hillary Clinton says Obama wants to stop votes.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign strategist, Mark Penn, forced to apologize for lobbying for a free-trade agreement, supposedly opposed by the Clinton campaign.

Hillary Clinton under fire for false health care horror story.

Hillary Clinton uses the Rev Wright controversy against Obama, lives in glass house.

Hillary Clinton looks like she’s trying to get McCain elected, so she’ll have a “shot” at 2012.

Hillary Clinton creates her own reality.

Hillary Clinton’s role in the Irish peace process not corroborated by official documents.

Hillary Clinton says Bosnian girl was a sniper. (SATIRE!! I thought you’d need a laugh by now)

Hillary Clinton will destroy the Democrat party to try to get what she wants.

Hillary Clinton was for NAFTA before she was against it.

Hillary Clinton campaign tells the Canadian government to take her criticisms of NAFTA with a “grain of salt.” Tries to make it looks like it was actually Obama saying it.

Hillary Clinton pretends she’s bad at math.

Hillary Clinton claims Obama is not a Muslim “as far as I know.”

And finally…

Hillary Clinton is a bald-faced liar.

Congratulations, Hillary Clinton! You’re the winner of TheZoo’s first Veruca Salt Award!!

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8 thoughts on “Veruca Salt Award — Hillary Clinton!

  1. Hillary Salt: “You’re a rotten, mean voter. You never give me anything I want. And I won’t do my job in Congress until I have it. Bill, I want those Super Deligates NOW!!!”

  2. My goodness, you’re right!
    All I have to do is squint just a little, and it IS her!
    Plus, the red dress is a dead giveaway…
    …maybe that’s why Bill bought a blue dress…

  3. What an incredible list of things that SHOULD disqualify her from running for country dog-catcher. And yet her story just goes on and on.

    Good article ZZ.

  4. “But Daddy I want the presidency and I want it now!”

    Does that make Bush Willie Wonka? He’s more like Slugworth.

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