Everyone knows what the Bucket List is: a list of things one wants to do before they die. The latest trend is the Fu*k It list: a list of things you have no desire to do before you die.
My Fu*k It list?
- Field dress a dead animal. I read how to do it. Nope. Not for me.
- Watch an entire episode of BillO, The Manatee, or Glenn Beck. I value my brain cells and the screaming inside my head as each one died would be too much for me to deal with.
- See Sarah Palin on the TeeVee box or hear her ignorant obnoxious arrogant folksy voice again. Ever.
- Hit a moose. Two or three thousand pounds coming through the windshield? I think I’ll pass.
- Jump out of a perfectly good airplane. I don’t want to be in the damned things to start with. Jumping out of one? Not. Gonna. Happen.
- Climb Mt. Everest. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know it’s there. Seeing it is good enough.
Well, I am sure I have many more, but it’s your turn. What is on YOUR Fu*k It list?
h/t: Yellow Dog at They Gave Us A Republic.
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Re-enlist.
Eat avocadoes.
Buy a luxury, status symbol car (Cars are for getting you from one place to another).
Look for a damn shamrock on or before St. Patrick’s day.
Celebrate Dick Nixon’s birthday (Jan 9th, same as my dad’s, who now celebrates his birthday on March 15th)
Vote Republican?
Drive boring sedans, SUVs or minivans
Buy stupid stuff from infomercials
Profit from underpaid employees
Change another diaper.. (Or wash one either)
Move again..
Go through a divorce or re-marry. Heck, I don’t want to be single, but don’t want to ever have to play the dating game again…
Try Botox..
Look at, or listen to, Rush Limbaugh speak..
Live through another Bush presidency..
You already used the Sarah Palin one..
Go out on a boat in the ocean.. ewwwww….
eat tofu again.
watch major league baseball
watch fox network
darken the door at a wal-mart
own a pickup truck or 4WD anything
smoke (well….. maybe a little weed)
Listen to Dick Cheney or see his Chimp again (unless we are talking about the Hague ICC)
Piles. Don’t need any.
Penis cancer biopsies, been there, done that – was traumatized for days and scarred for life.
Fatherbob has smoke (1st or 2nd hand), Walmart and Foxnews – yup, onboard there.
Budweiser, Michelob, Coors and Miller – life’s too short and I’ve pissed better beer.
I’m there’s more…. good thread MsJ
Bowel surgery done in the woods by a bear with a stick.
(I usually say this preceded by the words ‘I’d rather have…’ trying to remember the things that prompt me to say that).
Socialize with conservatives. If I never had to have another discussion with these people it would be like heaven.
There could be more later…
- hear the boy Bush speak in public
- hear or see Dick Cheney on msm or anywhere
- listen to whiny people
- listen to rich people complain about how tough life is
- listen to skinny women complain about their “weight problem”
- eat brussel sprouts
- jump out of an airplane (I agree with the author)
- no desire to visit Pakistan
- no surfing HUGE waves
- no desire to bungy jump
- no interest in joining the Polar Bear Club
… just to name a few things.
Thanks for posting this, MsJ. Great topic for discussion.
… just thought of one more…
NEVER vote for Rick ‘man on dog’ Santorum.
My fuck it list:
Listen to stupid people speak authoritatively about things about which they know nothing. I just can’t keep my eyes from rolling anymore…
Hear George W. Bush’s voice ever again, or see that smirky smile.
Public speaking.
Smoke….anything.
Visit Amish country — those people must feel like zoo animals.
Take a math or English class again.
Eat brussels sprouts or black licorice.
Make a big deal about Christmas.
Move further inland or north.
Get a C, D or F in any class.
Spend any time at all with passive/aggressive people.
I’m sure I’ll think of more.
Never…
Go to church again.
Top of my list
Today is the anniversary of the start of the Iraq War — and would have been my mom’s 70th birthday.
I’ll put something up about Iraq.
I like Zooey’s list. Would add:
Sleep with either of my ex-wives.
Loan my step-daughter a dime.
Pass up an opportunity to sleep with Jennifer Connelly.
What’s with the brussels sprouts persecution?
One of my favourite vegetables, blanched and then roasted with garlic…..
Oh and I made a porter beer with real chocolate and liquorice, Zoo – going to drink the last of the batch this weekend…. mmm
Meanwhile, back to the list:
Pass up Holly Hunter, Salma Hayek or Kate Winslet.
Visit Antartica, funnily enough on my list of places I *really* want to go, but I have no business being there and will mess it up by going. David Bloody Attenborough or that bald dude from Midnight Oil can go and tell me how incredible it is.
… George Clooney is going to be mentioned on this thread, in 3..2..1…
I would say that Brussells Sprouts suck, but the last time I did that, I upset dbadass.
Brussells sprouts suck!!
Clooney!! If I get a chance, I won’t miss it.
Ah, got another:
Sheep-shagging – thanks for the reminder gummitch.
Cross the Florida state line.
Visit a theme park.
Eat at McDonalds.
Get married.
Attend a pro sporting event.
Listen to someone tell me why humans should be vegetarians.
Eat in a fancy restaurant where the bill weighs more than the food.
Watch a Rachel Ray cooking show.
Have another colonoscopy .(I don’t care if they do knock you out for it now. They didn’t then and my body remembers)
Ever have to even smell cooking brussel sprouts.
Along with many of the others (especially the Jennifer Connelly one.)
My List…
-Never go to church – Bluedahlia, I agree
-See Brittany Spears, any of the Bush Administration, or Conservative Talking-Heads again
-Never eat Lima Beans, Sushi or (Liver, my mother use to put mashed potatoes on mine and try to convince me it was roast beef.)
-No Tax Returns
-Put up with the School Administration
-Never get another root canal
-Watch Reality TV
-Never have to shovel snow again.
-Never have to put up with rude shoppers who leave their carts in the middle of the isle and give you a dirty look when you ask politely if you can go around them, please.
-Car Salesmen, I don’t like looking for a car for that reason….
Root canals aren’t so bad. I’ve had three. They’re basically just really boring.
Drink cheap booze or American production beer.
Put up with the idiocy in an airport.
The go to church one is sort of a foregone conclusion. The last time I was in one it burned down later that evening. I took it as a sign.
Progressive Media News
Commenter Fellixe passed along some interesting news, which led me to more interesting news:
“fellixe said…
Hi again. On the Rhodes Scholars board it was passed along that Ben Burch, all around tech guru and web master of the former Nova M among other progressive media concerns, has posted on Mike Malloy’s message board that he would be moving podcasts from the Nova M and On Second Thought to http://headonradionetwork.com/ .”
Ben Burch’s Site
Could this be the next progressive radio network?
On Randi Rhodes’ continuing absence on Progressive Talk:
Part of her departure from the airwaves may have had to do with a failure by NovaM to keep her libel insurance current, which, if true, and knowing Randi, she simply couldn’t go on-air without that insurance active.
Also, in order to avoid being countersued she may have had to stay off the air until her contract ends in April (I’m guessing one year from her hiring at NovaM), so in a few weeks we could learn of new plans for her and her show.
HoR, in this day and age libel insurance has to be one of the biggest rackets in existence.
THIS is disturbing:
Army probes domestic use of troops in Alabama
That is worse than disturbing. These were US Army active duty personnel, not National Guard from what the article says. The need for additional police should have come from the Alabama equivalent of the State Patrol.
This was deploying US troops in response to a civilian action on US soil. Supposedly only the President can authorize this and then only in times of extreme national emergency. And then it would be the National Guard first.
This is just so totally wrong on so many levels.
Posse comitatus was abrogated by Chimpy for the ‘warronterra’.
Nwmuse,
That in itself seems innocent, but it quickly becomes a slippery slope, of course. I would have felt better if they had been Alabama National Guard. Nowadays, the mission of the Guard and the regular Army is so merged that the difference in one and the other is less than it was years ago. Hopefully the inquiry will stir up enough stink to inhibit this happening in the future.
Med,
I understand your concern, and your suggestion of obtaining help from the State Police sounds good in theory, but Alabama has always been short-staffed on the State Police force. They probably couldn’t have sent more than two or three officers right away.
Fort Rucker was about thirty five minutes away from the town where the shootings happened. They may have been the closest help available.
Terry,
Was that done in the Patriot Act or by signing statement? Obama has already nullified the signing statements?
I’ve got to go to work, see y’all later on my phone! (Can’t post, only read)
Patriot Act 2, I think – the MCA. Where’s Wayne, he’s on top of this stuff?
HoR, we are talking about the aftermath of a shooting spree by a deranged redneck who was killed. There is no real ‘crime scene’ to control since the perp ain’t standing trial.
And I really don’t care if this happened two blocks from Ft. Bragg, American military personnel are not authorized to fill in for police in a civilian crime scene. Every police department has the authority to ‘deputize’. Put the local firefighters to work.
back to the original post:
I do not ever want to see active duty military personnel deployed in the US for any reason other than disaster support.
Even though it’s called the “fuck it list,” I won’t sleep with any of my exes either.
People do that — I don’t know how or why…
I only have one ex-wife and I talked to her a few years ago. And almost all my ex girlfriends are married to someone else (obviously). The only one who isn’t has issues.
No wonder I’m studying to be a Taoist monk.
I guess I should make it clear that I only have one ex-husband.
Zooey, some folks understand the old saw…Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Others just keep their heads up and soldier on.
Sleep with an ex?? Ugh.
How about saying I won’t kill the bastard?
Talk about Fuck It! Fuck THAT!
Obviously, he did more than eat crackers in bed.
Hell, I don’t need to be conked on the head twice.
the only way I’d get married again is if he ate crackers in bed, and I didn’t care.
I always figured marriage was the way the church figured to have a ‘stable’ environment for raising children. I done raised mine. Now I can be unstable again.
I had to get out of my marriage to have a stable environment for raising the men.
Now I can be unstable again.
I like that, Med.
I wish I knew how to do the emoticon for wink but, Zooey, so do I.
The wink: ; )
Take out the space between characters.
My list
1. Never have to even SEE my ex-wife again. Loon crazy beeotch still blames me for all of her troubles (drugs, ex-con boyfriends) 14 years later.
2. No IRS audit.
3. No cancer treatments again.
4. Never have to set foot in Texas for the rest of my life.
5. Never have to drink cheap “lite” beer.
6. Never have to apologize for being a Democrat.
Under the heading of “fool me once…” I only voted for Blagojovich 1 time.
7.Never run out of pointed, witty responses to reich-wing trolls.
Concerning the Army troops in Alabama:
One question that immediately popped into my mind was how much, if any, authority did they have over the civilian population? What if a driver were to ignore the directions of a soldier who was directing traffic? Consequences would be just what, exactly? I understand that this happened in a state that has little respect for laws, the Constitution or civil rights, but, really, would they “disappear” someone who attempted to assert their rights? This is NOT a good precedent to set.
Jeebus, mikerush, I hope you never have to have cancer treatment again.
BTW, I think your ex-wife might be married to my ex-husband.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER have to be in Tulsa again.
And mikerush, soldiers have absolutely no authority over civilian personnel nor should they ever be placed in a situation where the question would come up.