Monthly Archives: October 2010

Veruca Salt Award — Ginni Thomas!!

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Yesterday, I heard that Mrs Clarence Thomas — Ginni to her teabagger friends — had reached out and touched Anita Hill.  Might as well keep it in the family, I always say.  ”Zooey,” I thought

Veruca Salt

to myself, “the Veruca Salt Award committee needs to have a meeting.”  The guy sitting next to me on the bus tightened his grip on the handle of his briefcase and averted his gaze, which is the usual indication that I’m thinking aloud.  Again.  But I digress…

It seems that after 20 years, our Ginni felt a burning desire to mend fences, so she got up bright and early on a Saturday morning, called Anita Hill’s office at Brandeis University, and left a chatty message re-introducing herself, and asking Ms Hill to give some thought to her offer of an explanation and an apology.

Waitaminute, what!?  I can see the wheels turning.  You’re thinking, “Why so cranky, Z?  Clarence Thomas wants to apologize for putting Ms Hill through all that crap…”  No, no, no, this is the Veruca Salt Award, remember? Mrs Thomas — Ginni to her bar friends — was asking Ms Hill to give her and husband an apology.  The ‘offer’ was to allow Ms Hill to apologize to the Thomases.

I know, right?  That chin dropping to your chest is one of the best indicators of an oncoming Veruca Salt Award.

Here’s the text of the message Ginni confirms she left on Ms Hill’s answering machine:

Good morning, Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas. I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day.

First, I wonder how long Ms Hill laughed after hearing that message — and how wide was her satisfied grin while turning it over to the FBI?  Wish I could have seen that.  Heh.

Second, can you picture the ‘WTF?’ look on Clarence Thomas’ face when he heard that?  I mean seriously, a whole generation who weren’t around back then, having used the Google, are now thinking, “He said what about his Coke can!??  OMFG!  LOLz!!”  Way to go Gin-ster.

 

Gee thanks, Ginni

 

Is this some sort of diabolical revenge-taking by our Ginni on her husband for some unknown (to us anyway) offense?  Is Ginni spending too much time with vermouth and olive?  Or, is Ginni a ready-for-The Jerry Springer Show prima donna whose teabagger bravado has finally torn down the wall between prudence and entitlement?  Yeah, I’m liking that last one.

Finally, did you catch our Ginni’s phrasing on the message?  She wants an explanation/apology about what Ms Hill “did with [her] husband.”  Not ‘to’ her husband, but “with” him.  What’s up with that?  Apparently, our Ginni thinks Ms Hill was an active and/or willing participant in her husband’s disgusting behavior — probably because that’s what her hubbie told her.  I wonder if Ginni or Clarence can spell D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L?

It’s been a while since our last presentation ceremony, but the vote in the committee meeting was unanimous that Ginni deserved it.  So I was a little hungover this morning, and I wasn’t sure where the award had landed after Hillary Clinton threw it at my head (and thank goodness Hank Paulson didn’t show up for his awards ceremony), but after digging around a bit, I found it under a pile of empty Doritos bags, Red Bull cans, and Mardi Gras beads.  Scrape off the barnacles, give it a spit shine, and we’re good to go!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO GINNI THOMAS
FOR WINNING THE VERUCA SALT AWARD!!

Watering Hole, Thursday, October 21st: Idle Chit-Chat

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“I’m surprised someone hasn’t killed him yet.”

I am a Customer Service Specialist for a “major footcare products company” (no, NOT the-one-who-shall-not-be-named, rhymes with, oh, let’s say ‘Proctor Moles.) I speak to people all over the country (and Canada) each day, taking orders, answering questions, etc. Sometimes people will chat, sometimes not. The elderly customers seem to be the most talkative, often commenting that it’s ‘nice to talk with a real person.’ Conversational topics can cover foot problems, other health issues, the weather, high prices, and pretty much anything else you can think of. And I really mean anything.

In my sixteen or so years of listening to these customers, the subject of Presidential assassination never came up before.

“I’m surprised someone hasn’t killed him yet.”

These words were spoken to me, almost idly, by a 91-year-old woman while I was taking her footcare order. While I was taking a minute or two to set up account information for her, she rambled on about the elderly-care residence where she lived, which was apparently part of a good-sized chain of facilities in her state. I began getting her order set up, while she continued about how this chain had been planning expansions, but the bad economy stopped those plans. At this point she lowered her voice a trifle, saying, “That Obama has got to go.” She paused, then followed with, “I’m surprised someone hasn’t killed him yet.”

I was actually dumbstruck for a couple of moments. I could not have responded immediately, because whatever I said would NOT have come out politely. I took a deep breath and eventually replied lightly, “I’d love to discuss politics with you all day, but my bosses frown on that,” and finished up her order and the phone call.

…..What the?….

What in the world has become of the people in this country of ours, that the possible assassination of a sitting President is now deemed acceptable as idle ‘polite’ chit-chat with a stranger?

With all of the infinitely more nasty things that we see every day from fearmongering politicians and pundits, why do I find this incident so oddly disturbing?

Seriously, someone tell me, why?

This is our Open Thread. Please feel free to add your thoughts on this, or any other topic that comes to mind.

The Watering Hole – Wednesday, 10-20-2010: Hump Day: The Biblical Foundations of Evangelical Capitalism

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It has been said “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19: 24; Mark 10:25; Luke 18:25.

But what now of a Christianity that espouses wealth, and equates the rich and the powerful with being God’s Chosen? Where are the biblical underpinnings of such faith as this?

Perhaps the answer lies in these verses:

This is our Open Thread. Please feel free to add your thoughts on this, or any other topic that comes to mind.

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Someday I’ll be a real live boy and stand on my own two feet with no strings attached. I promise!

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All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo.
Nick Anderson, Houston Chronicle Editorial Cartoonist and Animation Artist.
For Nick’s animations, visit Nick Anderson: Animation Archives.
For Nick’s cartoons, visit Nick Anderson.

The Watering Hole: October 19 – Old Bread

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Archeologists have discovered that bread has been part of the human diet for at least 30,000 years. I wonder how that would compare to this 12 year old (as of 2008) McDonald’s hamburger bun (the one on the left):

Actually, no examples of 30,000 year old bread exist today (Unless a McDonald’s bun that old can be located).

Another issue that comes up is that bread has been around since 24,000 years before the Heavens and the Earth.

This is our open thread. Please feel free to offer your own comments on this or any other topic.

Watering Hole – October 18, 2010 – Toxic Chemicals

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Reform of the toxic chemical law begins to collapse as companies put pressure on the government.

In recent years, however, dozens of studies — many funded by the federal government — have shown that chemicals that are ubiquitous in the environment and in consumer goods can cause cancer, wreak havoc on hormones, damage the developing brain, depress the immune system and alter gene expression-among other problems. Earlier this year, the President’s Cancer Panel reported, “The true burden of environmentally induced cancers has been grossly underestimated.” And Linda Birnbaum, director of the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, which funded many of the top studies, told Congress, “Research has revealed the heightened vulnerability of fetal, infant and child development processes to disruption from relatively low doses of certain chemicals.” Birnbaum, like EPA chief Lisa Jackson, urged Congress to revamp the federal law that regulates toxic chemicals, giving the agency greater authority to protect the public.

So what has Congress done?

Last fall, a group of congressional Democrats vowed to overhaul the 34-year-old Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA) to make it easier for EPA to take dangerous chemicals off the market and ensure that the substitutes are safe. But one year, six congressional hearings and 10 “stakeholder sessions” later, the bills are dead, a testament to the combined clout of $674 billion chemical industry, the companies that process their compounds into air fresheners, detergents, perfumes, cosmetics, toys, medical devices and other consumer goods, and the stores that sell them. Their campaign to block reform of the Toxic Substances Control Act won out over EPA’s support, an unprecedented campaign by public health advocates fueled by the industry’s own admissions that the current law does not fully protect public health.

Once again, industry triumphs over our safety.  Read more here.

This is our Open Thread.  How do these toxic chemicals impact your life?  Speak Up!