The Watering Hole: Wednesday, September 26, 2012: Romney’s Reboots Revealed!

Tweeter took time off from following Invisible Obama to sit down with Invisible Mitt for a candid, bird on Etch-a-Sketch interview.

T: I understand you’re rebooting your campaign.

IM: Yes. It’s what I do best.

T: A month ago, going into the Republican Convention, you were looking to reboot your campaign then, too, weren’t you?

IM: Well, as a matter of fact, I was. You see, at that point in time I had come in second to so many of my worthy opponents that I had to reinvent myself as the front runner.

T: To capture the ‘anybody but Romney’ vote?

IM: Right. You see, I thought that by taking every position on every issue, everyone would like me. Now, I wouldn’t say I was wrong, but the voters kept voting for everyone but me. I was kind of like that old Avis Rent-a-car commercial — I’m number two, but I try harder. Well, I don’t exactly try harder, but I do have more money, so when my opponents would ride the wave and get knocked off, I was still there, waiting for the tide to turn in my favor.

T: And when it did, you became Mr. Etch-a-Sketch?

IM: Right. What better way to illustrate to my base than use a simple child’s toy to show folks how easy it is to start with a clean slate, to erase everything I said going into the convention and start over.

T: But you didn’t get the bounce you expected out of your convention.

IM: No. But I don’t fault Invisible Dirty Harry for that. I blame the liberal media for focusing more on Invisible Obama than on me.

T: Well, you have to admit, bringing Invisible Obama on the stage at the Republican Convention did give him quite a boost in the polls.

IM: I don’t have to admit anything. And just because my tax forms state the United States is a foreign country, it doesn’t mean I’m from the planet Kolob.

T: O…kay… So, after the convention you re-booted your campaign, again. How did that go?

IM: Forty-seven percent of the people didn’t like it. So I’m re-booting again.

T: Again?

IM: Sure! Why not? If at first you don’t succeed, just shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start all over. I’m sure that sooner or later, I’ll find a message that resonates with the voters.

Walker, The Zoo’s underground reporter

“Walker here,” the Mole interrupted, “I just got back from my latest assignment, to find the dirt on Romney’s latest re-boot. My sources tell me he’s going to put a lot of boots on the ground. There’s a huge voter supression effort going on across the country. I managed to get this photo of one of their election-day training camps, at great peril to myself, I might add:

Romney’s Re-Boot

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113 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, September 26, 2012: Romney’s Reboots Revealed!

  1. The Wallflowers – Reboot the Mission

    Where you’re going has no signs
    and you’re not going in a straight line…

    one day the water, more water
    you keep diving and you won’t be recovered
    you need a clue, I’ll come in closer
    I want to tell you, you’ve had it coming

  2. Mitt, I would really like for you to meet some original 1%er’s
    Somehow, I don’t think they’d relate too well to you.
    You’d get the tune up of a lifetime.

    • That’s great! If the guy worked at the Dept of Interior, at least the mistake might be, on some level, understandable. You could imagine somebody didn’t hear somebody else correctly. But this mistake wasn’t even close to that.

  3. WillardRat, as long as you keep saying shit like This, about campaign finance reform
    “We simply can’t have a setup where the teachers unions can contribute tens of millions of dollars to the campaigns of politicians and then those politicians, when elected, stand across from them at the bargaining table, supposedly to represent the interests of the kids. I think it’s a mistake. I think we’ve got to get the money out of the teachers unions going into campaigns. It’s the wrong way for us to go. We’ve got to separate that.”

    And not say a word about the Union Of Corporate America, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, it doesn’t matter how many times you reboot, you’re still the same asshole you always have been.

    • It wasn’t a silver spoon Romnoid was born with in his mouth, it was a shovel.
      Keep digging Willard, just a little longer. Your hole is nearly done.

  4. And, in more breaking news h/t Rawstory, WillardRat resorted to using conscript political rally props.
    Apparently, the coal miners who appeared (some with coal dust still caked to their faces) in a Rmoney rally on August 14th, were ordered by their employer, Murray Energy, on pain of termination (firing, not death) to attend said Rmoney rally, where they were photographed standing behind WillardRat. Note the carefully orchestrated folding of the hands in front of almost all the miners in the first row. Note the pissed off looks on many of their faces. Look at the big guy in the second row to the left of WillardRat, with his head cocked to the side. Notice the glaring indifference shown by most of these conscripts.
    Gotta wonder how many of them are actually going to vote for WillardRat.

    • “Our managers communicated to our workforce that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend,”

      - Rob Moore (that has to be a joke name right?) CFO of Murray Energy.

      The mine was closed for the day, so they weren’t paid… and now they are being used in a Willard ad… and that, my friends, may constitute an illegal campaign contribution. The naked contempt shown by Murray and Rmoney….

    • Seems like the sort of thing you used to hear about in the Communist countries.

      Pose with Dear Leader or lose your job.

  5. Madonna says she was being Ironic when she called Obama a “Black Muslim”. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

  6. Your Romney gaffe of the day: He finally admits that Obama hasn’t raised taxes. Bonus: The look on Ryan’s face when he says it. STENCH:

    • Caption Contest:

      Ryan: “Oh Christ, he had to have ‘followed through’ on that one!”

      Token white guy: “I wonder who’s arm that is up his butt?”

    • Yes, WillardRat, WE’re going to raise your tax rate from 35% to 39%. And hopefully close the frigging loopholes that allow you to reduce your tax effective rate to 13 or 14%. So that YOU are paying your fair share of the nation’s tax burden. So that YOU are helping to pay for Bush’s wars of choice and other unfunded follies.. Tough shit.

  7. Krugman makes fun of Ryan again today:

    “One question one might ask is whether Ryan is aware that he isn’t actually a wonk, that he just plays one on TV. Maybe not; some of what he says suggests the Dunning-Kruger effect at work.”

    Defined, The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their mistakes.

    • Unbelieveable that this dumbass is OK with unlimited corporate money flowing into SuperFuckingPacs, but not the Irish, er, the teacher’s unions…

  8. Kinsley Gaffe of the Day:

    “We have got to reform our tax system, small businesses most typically pay taxes at the individual tax rate. And so our individual income taxes are the ones I want to reform. Make them simpler. I want to bring the rates down. By the way, don’t be expecting a huge cut in taxes because I’m also going to lower deductions and exemptions. But by bringing rates down we will be able to let small businesses keep more of their money so they can hire more people.” — Mitt Romney, seemingly unaware that he’s in “must-have” Ohio and campaigning for PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

    • I am so sick and tired of these assholes who think that taxes are the only reasons companies aren’t hiring. They’re not hiring because they aren’t doing enough business to justify hiring because the middle class just doesn’t have any extra cash to spend. Most of it is sitting in rich people’s trust funds and bank accounts.

  9. “Sweet Jesus”

    In case you haven’t seen this, it’s just so sad for Mitt. He really is Fredo in the fishing boat at the end of Godfather II.

    • Pull the chain one more time….. and this one will be on its way to the sea….

      If you’ve lost Morning Joke ….

    • BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! ROMNEY, ryan, ROMNEY, ryan…and the crowd just stands there in stunned silence. Sorry asshole can’t even cheerlead effectively.
      Let me repeat…
      BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

    • And I was thinking, “wasn’t he married to some serious hottie back in the day?” Ah, that would be Claudine Longet, who later killed her boyfriend, Spider Sabich.

    • “On September 29, 2009, he was quoted by the Daily Telegraph as accusing President Barack Obama of “following Marxist theory” and “wanting the country to fail” And he let Limbaugh use one of his songs. Adios bud.

    • Bye Andy. As a cancer survivor, my condolences to his family and friends.
      To Andy in his first bardo after passing…Too bad you didn’t get to do a Moon River swan song at the Republicon convention. They appear to crave them some old entertainers.

  10. They’ve learned Republicanism. Some of the world’s richest companies are in India. We’ve sent some of our jobs there, and now that company is opening an office down the street from us. While their own poor keep getting poorer, and our own unemployed are displaced by growing off-shoring of our jobs.

    India is part of an upside-down world – FT.com

    India’s sanitation problems are a public health disaster that helps explain other grim statistics. Last year, according to Unicef, 1.7m children under the age of five died in India – just under a quarter of the worldwide total – while 42 per cent of the country’s children are officially categorised as underweight. Although India is often bracketed with China as a rising superpower, it is a significantly poorer nation – with a per-capita income less than a third of the Chinese level.

  11. 3.6% chance

    That is the current “now-cast” in Nate Silver’s model if the election were held today. Romney’s odds in late August peaked at 37 percent. So his odds of winning have been reduced by 90 percent in less than a month. We wait for Obama’s convention bounce to subside – and it bounces up once again. His November 6 forecast gives Romney a 20.3 percent chance of winning. But the latest data from Florida and Ohio are just devastating. Ohio has probably gone for good, barring some dramatic shift.

  12. Southern Minnesota has seen the driest September on record but the “librul media” refuses to connect it to climate change. Local Reich-radio, on the other hand, is using the news as an excuse to say that global warming is a hoax because “the warmests said we would have storms and floods”. Sigh…

  13. In the Democrats’ worst nightmare, Bob Wright predicts a future Romney-come-back media story line:

    “A new Mitt Romney–sporting a previously hidden sense of humor, showing a new sure-footedness in foreign policy, and facing a surprisingly gaffe-prone President Obama who seemed thrown off balance by growing global chaos, exceeded expectations at last night’s debate…”

    It could happen.

    • Based on his buffoonish actions at the rally you posted earlier, it could happen, but the likelihood hovers around .002%
      His preppers can train him like a seal for the debates, but he’s fundamentally a robot who can’t think on his feet.

      • But will that prevent the “librul media” from making claims that Mittens has scored points? A great many people will not watch the debates but will accept the 2 minute commentary between weather and sports on their local news.

      • They distinctly remind me of a black rockfish on the deck of the boat, thrashing around wondering why that delicious morsel they tried to swallow got them into this revoltin’ predicament.

  14. That Todd Akin, who was once more radioactive than Fukishima and Chernobyl combined, is now enjoying a second GOP half-life is testament to the wingnut Evangelical base that resides in a fantasy world.

    • The GOP has no choice but to support Akin because most of their Senate pickups aren’t picking up. No hope of them taking over the Senate and now they’re let the Dems take a bigger lead.

  15. Btw, just for shits and giggles, Whirled Nuts Daily puts the odds of President Obama being eligible to run for re-election at 1 in 62,500,000,000,000,000,000. (That’s 62.5 quintillion).

      • Oops!

        In my defense, I have Java partially blocked so that videos and images aren’t shown unless I ask for them. Otherwise it takes forever to refresh.

  16. MoveOn.org is encouraging its supporters to create and submit their own political ads based on Romney’s 47% comments with a special focus on the message that they were “voters not victims.” The group selected the following ad, submitted by Virginia residents, and say they are now airing it in the Roanoke market:

  17. Sheldon Adelson spent $70,000,000 on Republican campaigns this year.

    According to the USDA, it takes around $15,000 to feed a family of 4 for a year.

    With what Adelson spent on politics, he could have fed 4,666 families for a year.

    Priorities out of whack much? Where’s all that rich “charity” we hear so much about?

      • I believe I sense the irony in your comment and yes I think that some of them are (especially if they do ‘social work’) and yes, many contributions are not disclosed to the FEC, and even if they are – not until after the election….

        “Corporations are people, my friend”

  18. I remember as a senior or so in High school the fun we used to have when we pulled up to a stop light and the car doors would fly open and everyone would dash around madly in hopes of getting back in the car before the light changed. We called it a Chinese Fire Drill.

    What with the wondrously inept R&R Road Show we could now call it Republican Fire Drill.

  19. One thing the collapse of the R&R campaign slumping slowly into the gutter is the idea that all the millions of dollars the CU has cut loose to help them has been money back into the economy and out of their hoards. May they continue to invest in their pig in a poke.

    • Hasn’t started yet. This time is usually for Thom Hartmann, don’t know why he’s not on.

  20. US calls Assange ‘enemy of state’

    THE US military has designated Julian Assange and WikiLeaks as enemies of the United States – the same legal category as the al-Qaeda terrorist network and the Taliban insurgency.
    Declassified US Air Force counter-intelligence documents, released under US freedom-of-information laws, reveal that military personnel who contact WikiLeaks or WikiLeaks supporters may be at risk of being charged with “communicating with the enemy”, a military crime that carries a maximum sentence of death.

    • Not surprising. Anyone who disagrees with the state and is willing to publish it’s dirty laundry has to be an enemy. I am saddened that the President would go along with this because as far as I know the only thing the WikiLeaks has done is to expose embarrassing information without touching on secure operational information.

      I think it was back in the Nixon era that it became a common practice of throwing the old national security blanket over anything that could possibly make our government look bad. The thing is governments aren’t that different from people. If you are ashamed or would be embarrassed by something, you shouldn’t do it.

      • It’s incredibly hypocritical as well.
        While the telecom industry is collecting every byte of data it can on every person it can, legally or not, and storing it away for future reference.

  21. Last Tuesday, September 18th, was the last ‘Morning Briefing’ at Think Progress. I noticed yesterday that I couldn’t find it on my phone, and thus, couldn’t determine which threads belonged to which day, without opening the threads one at a time. The Morning Briefing was never what it’s predecessor, Thinkfast, had been for many. Such a shame.

    • Oh my, I didn’t notice until you mentioned it. I have noticed the old TP writers in other venues. That website used to be first with a lot of stories, now I usually see the breaking news first elsewhere. Sad.

  22. Yesterday, Roger Simon wrote an article for Politico in which he stated that Paul Ryan has deemed Mitt Romney “The Stench.” Today, Simon wants everyone to know that his article was satire:

    Simon told BuzzFeed: “Some people always don’t get something, but I figured describing PowerPoint as having been invented to euthanize cattle would make the satire clear. I guess people hate PowerPoint more than I thought.”

    Crap.

  23. Shameful Pandering Leads To Wildly Wrong Assertion:

    GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney swung through Westerville, Ohio on Wednesday, where he had golf legend Jack Nicklaus teed up to sing his praises.

    After Nicklaus lauded Romney as a leader who could spur “real recovery” and bring the nation back to “the America we were,” Romney returned the praise, calling Nicklaus the “greatest athlete of the 20th century.”

  24. This coming ski season, Arizona Snowbowl will become the first ski resort in the world to use 100 percent sewage effluent to make artificial snow.

    The skiing will be shitty regardless.

  25. I received my new VA voter registration card today. Our new voter ID law is much less onerous than those in other states. Sadly you wouldn’t know that from the material I received. Besides the voter id (non-photo) other forms of id are acceptable at the polls. The brochure VA sent out lists the photo forms (military, driver’s license, work badge) and refers folks to the website for a complete list. The complete list includes utility bills, bank statements, and other non-photo types. I’m thinking the folks that need to use those forms of ID are not likely to look them up on a website. This smells bad.

    • Voter suppression at its ugliest.

      We’ll trounce the Repugnant/Teapotty come November and then all this obstructionism and disenfranchisement can be done away with.

      • Oh please let it be so. These sad little people have shown their true colors. I don’t hate them, I just want to leave them behind.

  26. Whooopee a dead thread. It’s not my fault. Do I want to be a troll? Do I want to leave some impressive intellectual thesis on the politcal landscape of the American Dream? Do I want to digitally poke fun at Ebb and QZ? NOOOOOOOOOO! I’m just wondering has anybody heard from EV?

  27. Google takes maps competition underwater (video)

    Google unveiled the new underwater “Sea View” experiences in select locations… The imagery was taken using the Seaview SVII camera — a tablet-operated underwater camera — one of only two in the world…

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