From the Way-Forward Machine: Date, October 24, 2013:
One of the primary arguments against more gun regulations was the argument that only law-abiding citizens will abide by the new regulations – that criminals will ignore the law and still get guns. That gave Texas Governor Rick “Oops” Perry an idea.
Six months ago, to the day, Gov. “Oops” Perry made a startling announcement, which, on its face, seemed quite obvious. “Only criminals break the law.” He then went on. “Law-abiding citizens don’t commit crimes. Only criminals do. And no law has ever stopped a criminal from committing a criminal act. The NRA is right. We don’t need more laws turning more things law-abiding citizens do into crimes. And I’m asking my fellow Republicans in the State Legislature to get a bill on my desk that repeals all criminal laws that have not prevented a crime, because those laws, obviously, don’t work. There’s enough that doesn’t work in big government without having laws that don’t work, either.”
Before the end of the month, the Republican-controlled Texas State Legislature had a bill on Perry’s desk repealing the entire criminal code. Perry signed it immediately, saying, “There’s three things I like about this bill. One, it gets rid of laws that don’t work. Two, it shrinks the size of government. And three…three….I forgot….oops.”
Shortly thereafter, the word got out. Nothing was illegal in Texas anymore. Within a couple of weeks, every bank in Texas had been robbed once….per day. Mom and Pop stores were robbed blind, while the larger chain-stores hired armed security.
Insurance companies couldn’t cancel policies fast enough, as drivers soon found out they could speed, run stop signs and traffic lights without fear of getting a ticket.
And just last week there was an incident where a citizen called to complain about his neighor’s music being way too loud. The responding officer told him “There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like it’s against the law or anything.” The citizen replied, “It’s so damn loud, all day and all night! I can’t get any sleep. I’m so mad I could just go over there and shoot him!” To which the officer said, “Well, there’s no law against that, either.”
Six months later, Perry is re-thinking his de-regulation of criminal laws. “It seems” he said at a recent press conference, “that law-abiding citizens are law abiding only when there are laws to abide. So I’m asking my collegues in the State Legislature to get me a bill reinstating the criminal code.”
When asked if this experience changed his mind about background checks for gun purchases at gun shows and over the internet, the Governor replied, “Hell no. That’s the kind of law that only law abiding citizens will abide, leavin’ criminals free to break the law and still get guns without background checks. I will not stand for requiring law abiding citizens to have to go through a background check just to buy a gun.”
Meanwhile, in Kentucky, a man on the FBI’s Terrorist Watch List was able to legally buy guns at a gun show and promptly opened fire in the convention center, killing 14 and wounding 16 others before being mowed down in a hail of bullets from all directions. Only 39 bystanders were killed by stray bullets from the good guys with guns, that number including several police who were first on the scene.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR NORMAL, ‘IT’S FIVE O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE’ TIME.