The Watering Hole, Saturday, June 21, 2014: This Week In Irony

It’s funny when Conservatives go on and on about things without realizing what they say often sounds pretty ironic coming from them. Take Gary Bauer. No, really, take him. Preferably far away where we won’t have to hear him whine and complain about how Christians have it so bad in this country. I mean, did you know that out of 43 different men elected President of the United States, only 43 of them have been Christians? Talk about not having a voice in our government! I don’t object to people like Gary Bauer having a voice in our government; I object to people like Gary Bauer being listened to as if their voice had some validity to it. Conservative Christians believe a number of out-and-out false things (such as that Jesus was a Conservative like them), or that the United States, as represented by today’s Constitution, is officially a Christian nation and, therefore, our laws should be based on the Bible. This is true of the Faith & Freedom Coalition, and one of their biggest concerns is that gay people will be treated as equal citizens. Of all the sins in the Bible, right-wing Christians believe homosexuality is the worst possible thing to allow in a society. I mean, I don’t hear conservatives saying there’s a problems with guns in our society when twenty elementary school kids are shot and killed by a weapon no civilian has any business owning. But let two people who have been in love with each other for more than twenty years finally get married and have the same marital rights as everyone else, and Conservative Christians start talking about the Demise of Civilization As We Know It (the “we” in this case being Conservative Christians such as themselves.) If it weren’t for the issue of gay rights, would there be anything else for them to talk about today? That’s why it was a bit surprising, to say the least, to hear Gary Bauer say that President Obama is “obsessed” with the issue of gay rights, and that the nation will be destroyed as a result. No mention is made (I’m sure) that the only reason the president has taken the actions he has is because of the actions taken by Conservative Christians to treat their fellow citizens as something less than human. If he were real, I’m sure the Jesus of the Bible would not approve.

Speaking of people that Jesus of the Bible would not approve, Whack-a-Bird Senator Ted Cruz’s father, Rafael Cruz, also speaking at that same F&FC conference, told the audience, with a straight (and stern) face, to “Stop electing the village idiot!” Strangely, he seemed to have mistaken the President for his own son, but to hear a line that out of the father of one of the craziest, and most dangerous, abusers of power in our government is richly ironic. Because of Ted Cruz, a strong contender for title of Village Idiot of the US Senate, our nation was taken to the brink of fiscal disaster and punished by a downgraded credit rating. He blames the Democrats and the President because they refused to negotiate with terrorists Republicans over repealing Obamacare in exchange for continuing to fund the government. This knee-jerk reaction Conservatives have where they just say the exact opposite of the truth (often recorded for all to repeat) has not done this country any good at all.

I find Conservative Christians to be the worst hypocrites of all the Conservatives (who are generally hypocritical themselves, as they often excuse behavior from their own kind that they publicly and loudly abhor in others), because they profess to follow the teachings of someone who clearly would not approve the things they say in his name. I find it hard to believe Jesus would really preach

Seven Mountains Dominionism, which as we have noted in the past seeks to give right-wing Christians authority “over the seven forces that shape and control our culture: (1) Business; (2) Government; (3) Media; (4) Arts and Entertainment; (5) Education; (6) Family; and (7) Religion.”

If that isn’t the ultimate in Selfishness, I don’t know what is. They want authority over your family. They want to be able to say what is and what is not permissible in the way you live as a family, the way you raise your children, the things you allow them to learn, and the religious practices you will follow. And the Republican Party embraces them, and seeks out their approval and endorsements. Because, ironically, the Republicans are all about Freedom.

This is our daily open thread. Feel free to discuss hypocritical insane Conservatives, Christian Dominionism, other contenders for Village Idiots of the US Senate, or anything else you wish to discuss.

THE WATERING HOLE: Wednesday, March 27, 2013: REPUBLICAN REBRANDING

Twitter, The Zoo's Top Investigative Journalist

Twitter, The Zoo’s Top Investigative Journalist

Twitter listened in on the closed-door conversations at the recent CPAC Conference regarding re-branding the Republican Party.

Mittens was the first one to speak up: “47% of the country won’t like us no matter what we call ourselves.”

Ryan: “You and you’re 47% speech cost me the election!”

Mittens: “Oh, and like your lame-brained budget proposal had nothing to do with it.”

Queen P: “Boys, boys, pipe down. If anybody knows anything about losing elections, I do.”

McCain’t: “You can say that again.”

Queen P: “If anybody knows anything about losing elections, I do.”

Herman C.: “He didn’t mean that literally. Look, why don’t we try something that’s never been done before?”

Ron P.: “What did you have in mind?”

Herman C: “Truth!”

Michelle B gagged on a corn dog. Gov. Christie tried to give her the Hemilich but couldn’t reach any further than her bosom, at which point her eyes popped even wider than they normally look. Just then, Larry Craig walked in and sized up the situation.

Larry: “Stand back, wide guy. I know how to handle this.” Larry strode over, tilted Michelle’s head back and extracted the long meat sausage from her throat.

Queen P: “Wow, that was just like a pro!”

Larry: “Thanks. Just doin’ what I do best. Now, can anybody direct me to the restroom?”

Michelle: “Go out, go to your left, it’s just past the closet.”

Larry left, but being a staunch Republican found it impossible to go to his left.

Mittens: “Truth? Truth? I spoke the truth about 47% of the population and look where that got me.”

Herman C: “No. Not that kind of truth. Truth about us. About what we stand for.”

Ryan: “You mean the Rich and Powerful? Call ourselves the Rich And Powerful Party?”

Queen P: “And Evangelicals. We can’t fergit our Christian Base.”

Rove, who had been sitting in a corner in a fetal position stood up: “Rich And Powerful Evangelical Party. I like the sound of that. It rings true. It sums up everything we stand for in a few words. It’s bound to catch on.”

And with that, the R.A.P.E. Party was born.

HAPPY HUMP DAY, EVERYONE.

OPEN THREAD TIME.

The Watering Hole, Saturday, November 10, 2012: Republicans Still Don’t Get Governing

In his remarks following Tuesday’s elections, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-House of Orange) said that in working with the President, the Republicans would not compromise their principles. But that is the essence of governing – compromising. You’re never going to get everything you want, especially if your party doesn’t control all of government, so you agree to give up some of what you want if the other guy will do the same. But Republicans believe that “compromising” means the other guy completely abandons his positions and comes over to yours before you start negotiating.

I really don’t understand where the Republican Party got this idea that the country has taken a hard turn to the Right. It never did! Our greatest achievements as a nation, our greatest advances forward, were based on Liberal ideas, not Conservative ones. In fact, the Conservatives opposed much of that advancement, and continue to fight against it. When Liberals said that too many old people were dying just because they were too poor to live and that we, as a nation, should help the elderly with a national pension system so they can grow old in dignity, the Conservatives said, “Now wait a minute…” When Liberals said we should give our soldiers returning home from War a chance to get a decent education, so they may prosper in life and make a better life for their children, the Conservatives said, “Now wait a minute…” When Liberals said that there ought to be a law that makes it harder to deny black people their constitutional right to vote just because they’re black, the Conservatives said, “Now wait a minute…” And when Liberals said it ought to be against the law to beat somebody up just because they’re gay, the Conservatives said, “Now wait a minute…”

Every single social achievement our nation has made has been from embracing Liberal ideas and rejecting Conservative opposition. So when Republicans insist that our side should compromise with theirs, I ask, “Why?” They haven’t been on the right side of history yet. Elections have consequences and the Republicans lost seats in Congress this election. The American people have said that they don’t like what the Republicans and Conservatives have to offer, and don’t want more of it. I will make the bold prediction right here and now that when the elections of 2014 are over, the Democrats will have solid majorities in both Houses. And then we’ll really begin to undo the severe damage that Republican and Conservative principles have brought upon this nation.

This is our open thread. Feel free to discuss the lameness of the Republican party or any other topic you wish to discuss.

Watering Hole: Tuesday, October 2, 2012 – The Paulies

The other evening, I saw a pick-up truck that had a Ron Paul for President sign that took up half of the back panel.  It was huge and it made me think, “What will this person do on election day?  Will they write-in ‘Ron Paul’ or will they simply not vote for any of the presidential candidates?”

The Republican Party has been trying to ignore Ron Paul and his supporters and they even attempted to keep Ron Paul’s delegates from attending the Republican Convention.  There is no assurance that the “Paulies” will vote for Mitt Romney.

What the Romney campaign fears is that the Ron Paul supporters will never vote for Mitt.  The campaign had Paul Ryan address this problem at a recent Ohio rally in which Ryan called on the “Paulies” to vote for Romney.

Though Paul is no longer in the race, many of his supporters have vowed to “write him in” in ballots across the country. For them, the Romney/Ryan ticket doesn’t represent their ideals, and many believe there aren’t substantial differences between Mitt Romney, who, as governor of Massachusetts, signed into law a health care bill largely considered to be the blueprint for the unpopular Obamacare, and the current occupant of the Oval Office.

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But now, Paul supporters seem to have the upper hand as Election Day nears and the Republican ticket seems to be scrambling to keep what has been — at least, until now — a close race to unseat President Barack Obama. And it remains to be seen if some of Paul’s most fervent supporters would give the Romney/Ryan ticket a chance, especially after numerous incidents during which they felt alienated by the establishment wing of the Republican Party as the GOP primaries unfolded.

The first debate is scheduled for tomorrow, October 3rd and only two candidates will be part of the debate.  There are other candidates that will appear on ballots across the nation, such as, Gary Johnson, Libertarian Party and Jill Stein, Green Party.  They were not invited to the debates.  Let’s face it.  On the national level, America is governed by a two party system.

This is our Open Thread.  Feel free to Speak Up!

The Watering Hole – Saturday, June 30, 2012 – GOP Is Acting Out, Again

Pity the poor Republicans. They ranted and raved since the day President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act into law and swore it was an unconstitutional power grab by the already-bloated federal government, and that gay people shouldn’t be allowed to marry each other. Oh, and that abortion you wanted? Sorry, but they have about eleven hundred reasons why you shouldn’t plan on going through with it. At least, not today. But Obamacare is unconstitutional! Well, funny thing, our nation’s ultimate authority on what is and isn’t constitutional determined that, yes, indeed, Obamacare is constitutional. (Here’s a way to see the decision itself, as well as a neat word cloud of the decision.) It appears the only thing the law got wrong was on threatening states with losing their Medicaid if they didn’t comply, or something like that. Oh, and the administration’s legal rationale for why the PPACA was constitutional was wrong, too. But Chief Justice of the United States (that’s his actual title, BTW. Did you – well, all but one of you – know that? ;)) John Roberts found a way around that and said something could be collected as a tax and not under the authority of the Commerce Clause. I don’t know, I’m not trained in understanding all this legalese. All I know is that the Roberts Court just handed the Republicans a major ass-whoopin’, and they’re going all nuts saying they won’t implement the law (even though they have to), and we still think it’s unconstitutional, so we’ll just nullify it (Hello, Civil War II). And now they’re going to take a break from bashing voting citizens who are gay and/or have vaginas and repeal the entire law! Of course that’s just theater because we know perfectly well a repeal won’t pass the Democratic Senate, so why do it? I’ll tell you why. Because the Republican Party is hell-bent and determined to prove to you that government just doesn’t work, and they’ll achieve that by doing the worst possible job they can.

So, what else is on your mind? You can tell us. We’re complete strangers that you’ll probably never meet in your life. What could possibly go wrong? ;)

This is our daily open thread — comment on anything you want!

Watering Hole: Monday, April 2, 2012 – What’s That Phrase?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a phrase uttered by every Republican that has access to a microphone and the media.  It must be the phrase of the week or the month.  The teabaggers kept shouting this phrase as they protested in front of the Supreme Court this week.  They, along with Senator Pat “Wall Street” “Club for Growth” Toomey were protesting to “protect our freedoms”.  Others were there to support health care for all Americans.  There is no correlation between the two arguments and this is why there is no room for dialogue.

Some key Republican phrases:

  • “Protecting our freedoms” – this is one that is currently popular and is a catch all phrase.  The Republicans are pushing this one even though they wrote, championed, and signed the Patriot Act.
  • “I never supported [fill in the blank]“- this is known as the flip-flopper.  It doesn’t matter that the contradiction is recorded.  They will still deny, deny, and deny.
  • “I misspoke” – this one is used to cover up the lies.  Republicans NEVER accept responsibility.
  • “Job creators” – this one is used as an excuse to tax the 99% while giving tax breaks to the 1%.
  • “I don’t recall” – this one was used to cover up the crimes.

Sounds like all the Republicans are reading from the same notebook.  They are so very boring and predictable.  I don’t understand why the Democrats can’t beat their dupas.

This is our Open Thread.  Add more, if you please. 

See Our Best

Well, it looks like the Republicans are putting together another unexciting field of candidates. According to a recent poll, the candidate that Republican voters were most excited about, by 67%, was “None.” In honor of the Republican Candidates for president, I present this song, based on another Disney classic, “Be Our Guest”, from “Beauty and the Beast.” (Another of my personal favorites.)

See Our Best
Original words and music “Be Our Guest” by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2011

REINCE PRIEBUS (SPOKEN):
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the GOP proudly presents…

Your winner!

REINCE PRIEBUS:
See our best! See our best!
Put our viewpoints to the test.
Tie a mike around our neck, and see
That we are not in jest.
Kooks for sure, anti-gay,
Anti-anything you say
Try the hate stuff, it’s malicious,
So deceiving and so vicious
We’re right wing in our stance
After all, this isn’t France!
And a winner here is never second-guessed
Go on, behold our venue
Crap your pants and then you’ll
See our best!
Gee, our best?
See our best!

REINCE PRIEBUS & CANDIDATES:
Big snafu, what we say
Goes unhidden on display

REINCE PRIEBUS:
You’ll despair our nerve to dare
What luminaries have to say
We alone can be paired
With the news that’s kept you scared
No one’s booming or just gaining
While the tax rates have been reigning
We tell folks we get kicks
From our business bag of tricks

GERMANS:
Und they march in perfect step
That you can bet

REINCE PRIEBUS & CANDIDATES:
Come on, our grasping class
Just wants its own free pass
To be our best

REINCE PRIEBUS:
If we’re pressed,
It’s fine whining we express

REINCE PRIEBUS & CANDIDATES:
See our best!
See our best!
See our best!

REINCE PRIEBUS:
Lies are not perturbing to a person so disturbing
There’s a hole within his soul to call upon
Ah, those “good old days” when we were truthful
Happily those good old days are gone
For years we’ve been trying
Seeding so much doubt with lying
Needing expert thieves to help us write our bills
Most days we don’t bother with the hassle
Crabby, batshit crazy
You looked in and oops-a-daisy!

MRS. PELOSI:
It’s their best, it’s their best
Sakes of Christ, they think they’re blessed
I’m so bored but thank the Lord
They’re with their flag pins neatly dressed
With debate, you can see
That they’re blind as blind can be
While we Dems do our boo-hooin’
There’ll be trouble in what they’re doing
They’ll do harm, stoke ‘em hot
Heaven’s sakes, was that a shot?
Listen up, they want the country in distress
They’re not a lot that’s new
Is it one chump or two?
For it’s their best!

REINCE PRIEBUS & CANDIDATES:
They’re our best!

MRS. PELOSI:
It’s their best!

REINCE PRIEBUS & CANDIDATES:
They’re our best
See our best
See our best
Our right hand is on our breast
For ten years now we made lots of money here
And we’re obsessed
With our zeal, with our sleaze
Yes, indeed, the Kochs we please
While the campaign fight’s still going
We can’t help our ugly showing

Coarse, of course, and no fun
‘Til you shout, “Enough you’ve won!”
Then we’ll bring you up to speed on our success
Our fights we know you’ll eat up
While ourselves we beat up
See our best!
See our best!
See our best!
Please, see our best!

Cross posted at Pick Wayne’s Brain