The Watering Hole: Wednesday, December 18, 2013: Breaking Gnus:

Republicans in House Vote to Delay Christmas For One Week.

House Republicans held a late-night vote to delay Christmas until January 1, 2014. Citing lagging retail sales, even with stores pushing Black Friday into Thanksgiving, House Republicans banded together to add another week to the Christmas Shopping Season.

Major retailers lauded the move, and the Stock Market looks to open higher on the news. Fox News is lining up segments announcing a major victory in the War on Christmas.

Sarah Palin issued a press release:

This just gets us closer to the traditional twelve days of Christmas, where the Blessed Virgin Mary spent those long days and even longer nights in labor pushing out our Lord and Savior from her virgin womb. So God Bless the Virgin Mary, and God Bless our proud patriots in Congress for standing up to the liberal agenda and giving us back the true meaning of Christmas which is to give gifts to our loved ones just like the Wise Men wanted us to do when they gave presents to our Lord Baby Jesus the night he was born.

Open Thread
Shop Until You Drop
or
Post Until You’re Toast

Whatever.

The Watering Hole, Monday, December 10th, 2012: The “War on Christmas”

Since Faux Noose is doing its annual “War on Christmas” blamefest, I thought that looking at the lighter side of this epic battle would be more fun:

In this clip, Jon Stewart once again battles the Faux outrage over “War on Christmas” (I apologize, I couldn’t manage to embed it, so you’re stuck with the 30-second commercial prelude.)

Personally, I’ve always felt that this South Park clip explains who “took Christ out of Christmas” – it’s all Santa’s fault:

And of course, there’s this hilarious Jesus and Santa duet.

Seeing all of the commercials for “the perfect gift” that most of us can’t afford to buy (who the fuck gives someone a car for Christmas?), I also blame good old Capitalism for helping to destroy the “true meaning of Christmas.” So I’m blaming Santa and Capitalism for making Christmas what it is today: an insane challenge to get exactly the right present for the lowest price, even if one has to elbow a few fellow shoppers out of the way to do so. For those of us who are stressed out over Christmas/holiday preparations, I hope this lightens your mood.

This is our daily open thread — How’s your Christmas spirit holding up?

A holiday poem

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

add to del.icio.us : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook

‘Twas the Month Before X-Box and all through the land,
the fake “War on Christmas” goes according to plan.

It’s always the same, no matter the facts.
Fake Christians pretend that they’re under attack!!!1!

Say “Merry Christmas” they shriek, or we’ll boycott your stores.
We’ll go on Fox News and call you all whores!

We’ll go on talk radio and create such a clatter,
to distract and divide you so nothing else matters.

And they conquer and divide us in all sorts of ways,
so that no one will notice how well their crime pays.

They run up our debts, with deficits galore.
While they cut their own taxes and stomp on our poor.

They preach Peace On Earth, and Good Will Towards Man.
But they dream of war profits, and invading Iran.

And with war in Iraq, and more dead every day,
their biggest concern is whether you’re gay.

But the whole War On Christmas is just this month’s ploy,
to profit from hate as Sears profits from toys.

And if Jesus was born in this day and age,
He’d die of starvation, on minimum wage.

But if He survived and grew to a man,
they’d call Him liberal and toss His Book in the can.

They’d call Him a commie, a pinko and worse,
then slap both His cheeks and send Him off with a curse.

They’d sue Him in court to trademark His name,
and sell Him on Wall Street for money and fame.

So for this “War on Christmas,” don’t shy from the fight
Tell them “talk’s cheap, just DO what is right.”

‘Cause He belongs in our hearts, not up on some wall.
Not stamped upon money, or in City Hall.

He knows us by deeds, not by prayers that we shout.
What we DO unto others, is what it’s about.

This poem was written by commenter Mia Kulper on ThinkProgress.