Mindless Parenting

Jurassicpork has a story on his blog, that was deeply upsetting for me as a parent. It touches all my secret fears of the cyberspace and of grown-ups, that are seemingly incapable, or much worse, unwilling to defuse a critical situation among adolescents. What’s more, in this case grown-ups even acerbated it. There is a whole world out there for our children to grow into, that, at times, brings nastiness even to their very homes. And sometimes things that seem quite harmless initially go badly wrong.

About these ads

25 thoughts on “Mindless Parenting

  1. I read about this the other day. Disgusting.

    This is the world we live in now, thanks to Bush and the neocon agenda. We live in a world of Americans that don’t care about others. Bush has made America like him, a bunch of sociopaths that lack the most basic of human emotions: Empathy.

    Fuck, I will bet most Americans don’t even know what the fuck empathy means.

  2. This is an amazing story I hadn’t seen EV. I am going to make my daughter read it when she gets home from school. It is unbelievable that the adult who instigated the whole episode seems to feel no remorse. I have to agree with you Spudge, you don’t need proof to know this woman is a Republican.

  3. BTW: My daughter does not get to use MySpace, ever. Not when she is 14, not until she moves out of my house and is paying for her own Internet connection.

    In fact, she doesn’t really get to use the Internet unless I am watching over her shoulder or working with her or I setup our UTM to control exactly what sites she can visit, which are all view by me first.

    If her friend at school tells her about a site, I look at that site by myself first before she gets to open her web browser.

    This may seem heavy handed or ultra conservative, but I don’t care and *SHOCK* neither does she. She understands that I am only looking out for her best interest, which is the most important thing that a kid can know: That their parents care about them.

  4. This is a tragedy beyond words. The parent responsible for causing this child to commit suicide should at the very least be exposed to the public, held up to shame and shunning; at the most charged, tried, convicted, and face jail time for whatever crimes they can apply. If there are no laws that apply, then certainly laws had best be enacted.
    The fact that there would need to be a law for this, that any adult could be this calculating and malicious, is just too mind-boggling. There has to be a consequence for deliberate actions taken by an adult that result in the death of a child. Whether the adult intended the result or not, the child is still dead.
    There has to be some form of serious consequence.

  5. Spudge-Boy, Shayne, I fully agree. My son is currently using the Internet without any automated parental filter. He does have guidelines, though and he strictly adheres to those. He knows better than not to. He is in a chatroom, that is moderated by his teacher and he won’t start up any new page without asking me first.

    Up to now he has never crossed the line and he knows, the internet connection is cut, the very moment he does cross it. Same applies for his smaller brother.

    And Facebook, MySpace, Second Life, WoW whatever are definitely not allowed in my house for the kids, not even with my guidance. BTW they can buy a telly for their own room with their first self earned money, too, they won’t be getting one from us.

    What got to me in this story is that parents are involved in adolescent bickering and help bring it to a peak. That’s so very malicious!

  6. This is absolutely horrifying. I’m not sure I wouldn’t expose these people — what’s keeping them from doing the same thing again?

    When the men were home, the computer was in the living room. They couldn’t get up to anything without me seeing.

  7. europeanview,

    FYI

    Facebook, MySpace, Second Life = not moderated

    WoW = heavily moderated

    My daughter plays WoW all the time. It is not the same as the others you have listed. I know, I work with Blizzard. You say one thing that is off color and they will ban you forever. Kind of like how Bush wants the US.

  8. Spudge_Boy, thanks for the info and the correction. So I gladly take WoW from my black list.

    Son will be thrilled :-D

  9. SpudgeBoy said:
    This is the world we live in now, thanks to Bush and the neocon agenda. We live in a world of Americans that don’t care about others. Bush has made America like him, a bunch of sociopaths that lack the most basic of human emotions: Empathy.

    Americans lacking empathy is Bush’s fault? So this is a relatively new phenomenon…say the last 7 years or so? C’mon, man! Hate the man if you want to, but blaming him, personally, for a teen suicide? The fact that you make that connection is disturbing.
    And then you further say:
    This may seem heavy handed or ultra conservative, but I don’t care and *SHOCK* neither does she. —- Well, I would venture to say that it’s not *shock*’ing because it’s neither ‘heavy-handed’ or ‘ultra-conservative’…it’s called ‘good parenting’, and she likely doesn’t ‘mind it’ because she probably (imho) appreciates it.

    And Shayne:
    I’m appalled (well, not really) that you can jump to the conclusion that because this woman is reprehensible, she must therefore be a Republican! With that mindset, everyone who does something stupid, asinine or criminal must be a Republican. Be honest at least: It can’t be any more than say, 80 maybe 85 percent! (JK)

    I saw his article yesterday and it is horrifying. The most disturbing part ( I thought) was that A: Theparents don’t deny doing it, and B: They can’t be prosecuted because there’s no way to ‘prove’ that the teen girl, who had a history of depression, killed herself because of this ‘boy’ on MySpace. I think it’s a no-brainer that the family down the street is criminally responsible.
    And mwmuse,
    Unfortunately the laws aren’t always able to keep up with technology. I’m all for a law that cwould be able to address just such a situation like this. I’m surprised that there isn’t already one.

    And finally…..Zooey, =)
    Hi! Been a while, huh?
    Preemptive strike:
    Baby James is doing great (he seems to have shaken his nocturnalness)
    And today we received all the equipment listed on David’s page. It’s awesome, and he loves the activity chair and stander. I’ll try not be such a stranger. Been busy.

  10. Well at least mine are still too little to be interested in boys but maybe i need to find out just what the hell is going on at webkinz. Interestingly my state just provided a reasonable well done pamphlet which we were instructed to distributed to our students at my school. Teen Angst aside it was interesting to note just how little the high schoolers seemed to pay attention to it. They seemed to think that this is all normal operating procedure

  11. Americans lacking empathy is Bush’s fault? So this is a relatively new phenomenon…say the last 7 years or so? C’mon, man! Hate the man if you want to, but blaming him, personally, for a teen suicide? The fact that you make that connection is disturbing.

    Sorry SgtHiggins, but presidents influence how people act. Reagan brought us the “Me” generation of Republicans, who have raised shitty kids that grew up to be shitty parents like this one.

    Bill Clinton got a blow job in the oval office. The rate of kids giving other kids oral sex increased dramatically, because they wanted to know what all of the adults were talking about. Now this one isn’t too bad and it has probably saved marriages of those kids have grown up and aren’t so god damned prude.

    And there is the sociopath Bush who doesn’t give a flying fuck about anybody and we are now raising a generation of fuck heads that don’t give a shit about anybody else.

    Yes, there is a connection. You can either acknowledge it or you can ignore it, but it is true and it is documented fact.

  12. Great to see you again, Sarge. I thought you might be a bit busy with the new little one. I’m glad he’s worked out the difference between night and day. Great news on getting the new equipment for David. :)

    Regarding your response to Spudge, I think that people tend to follow the attitude of those in power, especially those who follow a similar ideology. I have no evidence of this other than life experience (don’t even think the word “vast” ;) ).

    One comparison I can think of is when Jimmy Carter pulled on his cardigan and asked the American people to conserve energy, the people stepped up and tried to do their part. GWB has not made any such request, and people aren’t so quick to inconvenience themselves, if their neighbors aren’t doing the same.

  13. I’ll go along with ‘influenced’ you two, but seriously…..how many more blowjobs did you get/receive because the president did? How many more lies/deceptions/wars did you start because the president did? I think you’re putting way too much importance on Carter putting on a sweater! And asking America to conserve energy is a direct plea…something they then intentionally and willingly did.
    To suggest (or attest as documented fact) that a standing (or former) president so swayed the public mindset to commit murder and/or criminal acts is just plain silly. If that were the case, why did just this woman decide to do this? This should be an epidemic by that reasoning. Bush (perhaps during the State of the Union Address) was somehow subliminally telling us all to destroy the lives of young teenage girls in our neighborhoods?

    Ok, I know I’m just being asinine at this point…..couldn’t help it. No impulse control.
    I gotta split…it was really nice being here again.

  14. You’re being too literal, Sarge. Too concrete.

    It’s an attitude.

    Before Clinton, I’d never heard of anyone thinking oral sex wasn’t sex. I doubt that was Clinton’s intention, he was trying to save his own hiney. These things have an effect.

  15. To suggest (or attest as documented fact) that a standing (or former) president so swayed the public mindset to commit murder and/or criminal acts is just plain silly.

    Nobody committed a murder and nobody is going to be charged. You are now putting words in my mouth.

    But, these fucking people didn’t think or care about how what they, as adults, did would affect a 14 year old girl. They don’t give a fuck. Just like their sociopath leader.

    When Attila was in charge, the Huns sacked the shit out of Asia.

    When Hitler was in charge, the Germans decided to take on the world.

    If you can’t see that what a leader does affects the people of a nation, I am sorry, I can’t help you fix that.

    And yes, this is documented FACT.

    As has been pointed out, you are being too literal. It is a prevailing attitude in the country. Look around, talk to some people. Especially those on the other side of the aisle and you will realize what demented bastards they are. I include my mother and father in this group. They can’t wait for the US to bomb Iran, because they can’t bring themselves to CARE about the civilians that will be killed in George W Bush’s crusade. Sick fuckers, all of them.

  16. Hi Sarge, where the hell you been. That new baby kicking your butt?

    I guess I’m a tough love kind of person. I have my daughter watch to Catch a Predator on MSNBC so she can see what kind of ugly, creeps are out there. But this story defies even that so she’s reading it tonight. She is 13 but I’ve always been kind of liberal with her. Oddly she was the last one of her friends who even considered boy as anything but friends and she’s still not enthralled with them. But DB, as a warning, many of her friends became “boy crazy” at a very early age so don’t be surprised if some of there friends discover them soon.

  17. And there is the sociopath Bush who doesn’t give a flying fuck about anybody and we are now raising a generation of fuck heads that don’t give a shit about anybody else. – Spudge

    And if you need a view of how uncaring Republicans can be look at the trolls on TP and their utter disregard for any living thing other than themselves. Although Sarge I was kind of kidding when I made the first snarky comment.

  18. Oh yeah.

    I’ll go along with ‘influenced’ you two, but seriously…..how many more blowjobs did you get/receive because the president did?

    3

  19. Spudge—
    “If you can’t see that what a leader does affects the people of a nation, I am sorry, I can’t help you fix that.”

    ‘affects’ is one thing…influences to criminal action is yet another. There have always been sick bastards in America. I saw a program last night on feral children (i swear I’m not making that up), the results of severe abuse and neglect. It was sad and horrible….and international.

    My point Spudge, is that blaming Bush for the crimes committed by Americans is no way to address the sick parents who did this!
    Do you also blame him for all the people in America who have given to charity while he’s been in office? Or helped those that are poor, homeless, hurt or sick?
    Pointing fingers at anyone other than those who committed an act (the parents in this instance) doesn’t help the situation…if anything it only makes it worse.
    By your reasoning, which is premised on “Bush is bad”, all the bad things in the US are because… Bush is bad, thereby absolving the guilty of wrongdoing because, “Hey, it’s not their fault…they didn’t vote for Bush”—Is it always about passing the buck?)
    ….and all the good things that happen in the US are because of people having to do good things to fix the problems that Bush hasn’t fixed (or has caused)….because, as we all know…Bush is bad.

    I’m not being too literal (I don’t think). You blamed this incident on the world we live in THANKS TO BUSH (sorry, i’m not able to italicize)and his neocon agenda!

    You go on to say that these parents didn’t care how what they did would affect a 14 year old girl, (guess they’re just emulating their leader?). The show I watched last night…..some guy locked his own daughter in a cage every night and chained her to a potty chair every day for 13 years! She never went outside (neighbors didn’t know she existed!). This was in the 70′s…..gonna blame Bush for that one too?
    Look, Spudge…there are sick people in the world, who get off on the pain and suffering of others…they aren’t all Republicans or the direct result of Neocon agendas. They’re just sick.

    I wouldn’t have minded if you said….”These people are sick bastads!”
    P.S. I hate Bush.
    It seems a bit loopy when it comes across as…. These people are sick…because of the Bush neocon’s.
    That’s the kind of thing that manifests itself as a man w/ a deer rifle in a bell tower thinking he’s ‘saving the world’.

    Hi Shayne…..snarky or not, the baby WAS kicking my butt there for a bit. I’m good now. lol

  20. That’s the kind of thing that manifests itself as a man w/ a deer rifle in a bell tower thinking he’s ’saving the world’.

    Fuck you asshole.

  21. Sarge, the adults who perpetrated this “crime” against the girl who killed herself are not mentally ill, they are evil. If you can’t see the difference between adults who play adolescent games of deceit against neighbors children and the whack job locking his daughter in a cage, well I don’t know how to help you. This self-centered win at any cost approach these adults used is the mantra of the right wing, sorry you don’t see that. These parents were trying to give their own daughter an “advantage” over her friend and were willing to go to any length to do it. If they have a son they’re propably feeding him steroids so he’s the best player on any team too.

  22. Fuck you asshole. –Spudge.

    And thus ends the debate.

    Shayne,
    They’re both whack jobs, Shayne, evil whack jobs. They both intentionally and without regard (or a flying f*ck) for the life, well-being, or feelings of another human being, decided to torture and humiliate someone else in order to (imho)make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. I agree with you, they are evil, not sick. The guy in the story killed himself the day before he was to be arrested, sick people don’t do that….guilty people do. The only difference I see in these two cases (and it’s a big one) is that one did it to his own daughter, the other fukstiks did it to someone else’s daughter.

Comments are closed.