168 thoughts on “Saturday Night Burning Down the House Party!”

  2. Oooh, oooh! Me! Me!

    For the last few years I’ve gone to the wintertime Trans Siberian Orchestra concerts, because my good buddy Charlie coerces me with free tickets, backstage visits, etc. Huge arena show with flames and lights and lasers and a truly cornball theme. Charlie always goes on about his buddy Al, who leads the orchestra and plays pretty OK guitar during the show, and it’s all kind of fun and everything. But Al? C’mon. How good can he be?

    This is a long time ago, when Al was touring with some weirdo with a lot of eye makeup and (it turns out) crap politics. But Al, he’s pretty good.

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  4. Caption contest:

    As more revelations come forth about how the Giuliani Administration conducted his extra-marital affair at taxpayer’s expense, his campaign staff resigns en masse.

    (I can dream, can’t I?)

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  9. Zoo, I oft wonder how things are and whatfor and whathen came to be in this plane of reality.

    And I have decided that serious people studying history, seriously, have created a world that is all too serious and we are not as happy as we should naturally be.

    And so, I raise my glass, and toast a less serious world.

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  12. gummitch – my daughter went to a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert last year, in chicago, with her bf and HIS mom, who is a big fan… she loved it!
    she told me how sure she was that I’d love it too…
    i’ll catch a show or two in the near future as she’ll be living in chicago for many years to come…

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  22. good trip, zooey… thanks!

    it never did stop snowing that day… got some good pics to prove it… my legs have stiffened up today from not walking!

    izzy is ready for her walk now… that will help BOTH of us…
    later…

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  33. I’ve been giving George Clooney a tongue lashing for not taking care of Zooey

    Did I ever tell you my name was George Clooney?

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  55. It was your tongue that started it, Shayne!
    —————–

    This is why it’s not a good idea to join a conversation in the middle …

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  66. Psst. Wayne,

    She’s lying. A couple glasses of the good stuff and a schmooz, and she’ll fork over everything.

    That’s just what I’ve heard.
    😉

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  75. No, Zooey, but you should only drink Cactus Juice out of one of those.
    ______________________

    Or pterodactyl tea?
    (We are talking about the Flinstones still, right?)

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  77. I wouldn’t fork over everything…

    Hell, my etiquette sucks!

    Somehow I’m not sure there’s a safe response to that, other than to say you are one of the nicest people I’ve never met in person. _____________________

    Hell, go for it!

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  83. Possibly it is, true. You know what drunk men say: Size doesn’t matter.
    ____________

    Magnet I recently saw:

    “If size doesn’t matter, then why don’t they make 4″ dildos?”

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  104. Ugh.

    I keep getting pulled in to the drama of the drunk dude that hit on me and the girlfriend that moved out.
    Sometimes it sucks, being a do-gooder.

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  115. I should, but I end up feeling bad for the poor slob.
    Then she calls me in hysterics and I check on him, etc, etc.

    Wayne, and the rest of the world, probably don’t need to hear about what a sap I am.

    Back to cesspool shenanigans!

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  119. Not by a long shot, no.
    Ugh.
    SAP. SAP. SAP.

    Wayne,
    It’s not really social life at all. It’s more like involuntary Betty Ford Clinic duty.

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  123. ‘Sokay, true, nothing truly perverse by our liberal standards, but to a Christian mom who apparently doesn’t get out much…

    I didn’t think it was necessary to get the police involved, but to continue complaining to the D.A.?

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  126. Zooey, FARK categorized that story as “amusing”. This one is listed as “SICK”:

    Father meets teenage daughter he never knew he had. Does he: a) jump for joy; b) hug her and catch up on the times they’ve missed or c) sexually assault her while she’s sleeping.

    BTW, this looks like a good site to find funny stories you won’t see at TP. Well, you might see some of them if they involve crazy-ass politicians.

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  128. Heh-heh. True said “Dooty”.
    _________________
    omg – Wayne, you proved the point I’ve been saying for some time now.
    Boys never really grow up.
    😀

    Zooey,
    I’m glad you clicked on it instead of me.
    😉

    I hate to say this, but I’ve got to go to sleep.
    I’m chaueffer to drunk neighbor tomorrow morning.
    (Doing good -taking him to a meeting.)
    S-A-P.

    Thanks for the conversation.

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  138. Ain’t he a keeper, Zooey? Hard to imagine a guy like that not settling down and raising his own little family. I get they all go trick-or-treating as “ghosts” (with pointed hats on under their sheets.)

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  148. Charmer. 😉

    Mothers and fathers, Wayne. Society does have an effect, a large one, but parents are often idiots.

    In the article the was a toy company cited that sold “junior pole dancing” kits. WTF??

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  149. I must take responsibility for my own naughty thoughts, Wayne. 😀

    On a different topic — really. I am so screwed. I’m sneezing like mad and my throat is raw, and I have to spend the next 4 days in the math lab — at least 3 hours a day, studying for the final exam.

    Why now…?

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  150. Yeah, the “junior pole dancing kits” was a bit much, I thought. But the thing is, what little girl is going to go out and buy one for herself? It would have to be an adult buying it for her, so they must be expecting their daughter to treat herself as a sex object. Can’t blame society for that.

    I admit, I never had kids, and haven’t had to babysit any for a long time, so I’m probably the last person to tell anyone how to raise their kids, but it seems to me that parents complain because they can’t abandon their kids in front of the TV because they might see sex, but they have no problem leaving them in front of a movie with violence. Maybe they think it’s okay because it’s make-believe killing. Just tell them it’s make-believe sex.

    I like what George Carlin said (though he was quoting someone, and he later expanded on it):”I’d rather have my kid see a film of two people making love than of two people trying to kill one another.” Yet, for reasons that have nothing to do with logic and facts, parents seem to prefer the latter.

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  152. I agree with most of what you said, Wayne, especially the George Carlin thing. That was my philosophy when I was raising the men. They found their own violence, like boys do, but they didn’t get it from me.

    I think you don’t realize how strong societal influences can be. Parents are a primary influence in their childrens’ lives, but certainly not the only influence. We are exposed to up to 5000 commercial messages every single day, and that has an effect. It helps if the parents aren’t idiots, but there are a lot fo them out there.

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  153. Would you believe it, Wayne? My biggest problem is with plotting lines, and the equations that go along with that. Extremely simple, but I have a mental block, I think.

    Quadratic equation? Bring it on. Perpendicular & parallel lines, forget it.

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  156. So, you can plot

    ax^2 + bx + c=0,

    but you can’t plot

    mx + b=0?

    (Crosses the y-axis at b, then goes up m units for every 1 unit to the right (if m is positive, and to the left if m is negative). Plot two points and draw a straight line through them.)

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  158. Oh crap, I forgot to go over there and read your rant. I will!

    Yes,

    negative b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4 times a time c divided by 2 times a

    comes easier than plotting lines. *sigh*

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  164. This is what I’m given:

    Write an equation for the line through (1,5) and perpendicular to 2x-3y=6

    Ok, I got y=-3/2x+13/2 (y=mx+b) but what the hell does that mean to me?

    It’s my spatial disability. 😦

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  165. Oy, that killed it. 😀

    I better take my brand new cold to bed, and try to sleep it off. That works, right? 😐

    It’s been loads of fun, Wayne!!!

    Goodnight!

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  166. Well, it crosses the y-axis at (13/2), and goes three units up and two units to the left.

    According to my notepad, the first equation is just

    y = (2/3)x – 2

    so it crosses the y-axis at -2 and goes up two units and over three units to the right (and crosses the x-axis at x=3).

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  167. Good night, Zooey. I enjoyed it all myself (including the tongue lashings 😉 ).

    Take care of that cold and try to bundle up well when you’re outside. And if you absolutely don’t have to venture outside, then don’t! At least until your last final is done.

    Catch you tomorrow.

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