The first ever Veruca Salt Award given by TheZoo, after much deliberation by the committee, has been awarded to Hillary Rodham Clinton. Actually, we couldn’t think of anyone more deserving…
The Veruca Salt Award is named in honor of the character from the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Veruca is a spoiled rotten child, who’s parents treat her like a princess, who thinks she can take whatever she wants whenever she wants it, and her wants and desires rise above all else. She embodies the Deadly Sin of Greed, with touches of Envy and Wrath. A thoroughly unpleasant character, naturally she ends up in the garbage chute.
Hillary’s response to Barack Obama’s speech on race in America was typically snide and condescending:
“That’s the difference between me and my opponent. My opponent makes speeches. I offer solutions. It is one thing to get people excited. I want to empower you,”
“Now, over the years, you’ve heard plenty of promises from plenty of people in plenty of speeches. And some of those speeches were probably pretty good. But speeches don’t put food on the table. Speeches don’t fill up your tank, or fill your prescription, or do anything about that stack of bills that keeps you up at night,” Reuters
Willyloman took note of Hillary’s words, and posted these astonishing numbers from her recently released tax returns.
CUMULATIVE TOTAL(GROSS) INCOME: $109,175,175
Including, among other items:
- Senator Clinton’s Senate Salary: $1,051,606
- President Clinton’s Presidential Pension: $1,217,250
- Senator Clinton’s Book Income: $10,457,083
- President Clinton’s Book Income: $29,580,525
- President Clinton’s Speech Income: $51,855,599
52 million dollars puts a lot of food on the table for most Americans.
Well stated, Willyloman. What about that stack of bills…?
And since they are given free universal health-care, on our dime, she isn’t spending any nights up worrying about those bills either. Can’t say the same for her campaign staff though.
That’s right, the Clinton campaign failed to pay the health insurance bills for her staff. Maybe they should make speeches…?
Even this isn’t enough to qualify Ms Clinton for an award as prestigious as the Veruca Salt Award, you say? Well, here are a few things that pushed our winner to the top of the heap:
Hillary Clinton asks pledged Obama delegates in North Dakota to switch.
Hillary Clinton says Obama wants to stop votes.
Hillary Clinton’s campaign strategist, Mark Penn, forced to apologize for lobbying for a free-trade agreement, supposedly opposed by the Clinton campaign.
Hillary Clinton under fire for false health care horror story.
Hillary Clinton looks like she’s trying to get McCain elected, so she’ll have a “shot” at 2012.
Hillary Clinton creates her own reality.
Hillary Clinton’s role in the Irish peace process not corroborated by official documents.
Hillary Clinton says Bosnian girl was a sniper. (SATIRE!! I thought you’d need a laugh by now)
Hillary Clinton will destroy the Democrat party to try to get what she wants.
Hillary Clinton was for NAFTA before she was against it.
Hillary Clinton campaign tells the Canadian government to take her criticisms of NAFTA with a “grain of salt.” Tries to make it looks like it was actually Obama saying it.
Hillary Clinton pretends she’s bad at math.
Hillary Clinton claims Obama is not a Muslim “as far as I know.”
Hillary Clinton is a bald-faced liar.
Congratulations, Hillary Clinton! You’re the winner of TheZoo’s first Veruca Salt Award!!