GWB to Divorce over Drunkenness and Infidelity

The Russian news agency Pravda reports that George W. and Laura Bush will divorce after the upcoming 2008 elections. Mrs. Bush will reportedly be paid $20 million for her silence should she divorce her husband.

Condoleezza Rice has been noted to be at the center of the dispute between the President and the First Lady.

Wayne Madsen, a national security expert, wrote in 2006 that George W. Bush confessed during a session with his psychologist that he was attracted to other women. Bush reportedly named Condoleezza Rice as an object of his fantasies.

This was not the first time that Ms. Rice has been noted as a problem between the President and his wife. In June, 2006, NewsHounds reported that Mrs. Bush had checked into the Mayflower Hotel, several blocks from the White House, after a confrontation with her husband over his affair with Secretary of State Rice.

But that may not be the only problem between the President and his wife.

In April, 2007, it was reported that the First Lady checked into the Hay-Adams Hotel due to Mr. Bush’s inability to stop drinking, a problem he has had throughout much of his life. On top of drunkenness and infidelity, Jeff Rense stated that Mr. Bush joined his compatriot Senator McCain in publicly calling his wife a c*nt. The president was apparently inebriated at the time.

Our sources have witnessed a clearly inebriated Bush approaching members of the press corps and making rude comments, including one particularly crude remark about First Lady Laura Bush.

In that case, Bush, nodding toward Laura, called her a “c**t.”

Such a class act these Republicans are. Family Values first and foremost. Just ask David Vitter, Robert Allen, or Larry Craig. Mmm, mmm, mmm! I loves me some good old Republican Family Values!

Personally, I think Laura Bush has little desire to spend the rest of her days in Paraguay.

You read it on the Internet so it must be true.

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32 thoughts on “GWB to Divorce over Drunkenness and Infidelity

  1. No surprises here.

    The chymp better be careful crossing the street, given LauraStepford’s history of whacking ex-s…

  2. I thought that was the most perfect picture. There was one of them doing the smooch (a little more intimate than the one in the first pic above), but that just had far too much of an ICK factor to it.

    Just like Goldilocks…this one was Just Right. πŸ˜‰

  3. Laura certainly has been gracious in keeping her silence and staying with the frat boy Bush during his presidency. The boy Bush has no respect for women. Misogynist, just like McCain.

  4. Mark McKinnon, former media advisor for President Bush, said that it would not be hard for Condoleezza Rice to take a higher position because this woman has unlimited political potential.

    β€œShe’s a superfecta: a Republican, a woman, an African American and secretary of state,” he said. “I don’t think there’s a hotter star on the Republican political horizon than Condi Rice,” McKinnon said.

    If Condi was such a hot star, she would be the Republic nominee for president instead of the old man McCain. As is it, the Republics would never choose a woman to be president, let alone a black woman. Republics believe that women should know their place and so should blacks and hispanics and native American etc…

  5. Caption Contest:

    2nd photo.

    Why yes, Senator, in answer to your question about the President’s decision to invade Iraq: Yes. He is compensating for something.

  6. I’ll get you for that, BnF.

    I almost aspirated my Diet Pepsi! Coughing is really painful right now. 😐

  7. How would you know differently, Zooey?

    BTW, I used to laugh when my mother would show me the headlines in The National Enquirer about how Laura Bush was going to divorce George and walk away with $10 million. This was a year or so ago. I guess her price went up for sticking around longer.

  8. Well, it’s okay to joke about whatever group you happen to belong to. Apparently. πŸ˜€

    Hey, did you hear the one about the two humans who walk into an intergalactic bar…

  9. How bizarre. I’ve had that same exchange with my dad so many times.

    I’m gonna start calling you Dad — never mind that you’re younger than me. πŸ˜€

  10. Okay, you want me to make one up on the spot? Here goes. It’s not what you might expect…

    These two humans who walk into an intergalactic bar. The first guy says to the bartender, “You got a head I could use?”

    So the bartender rips the second guy’s head off and hands it to him.

    And the first guy says, “Does he still have to pay the cover charge?”

    ..

    Hey, what do you want? It’s my first day!

    Oops, time for Daily Show. Now they know from funny.

  11. Diet Pepsi has more carcinogens than having the regular sugar-laden Pepsi.

    Don’t do it, Zooey.

    Step away from the Aspartame…….
    πŸ™‚

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