Saturday night poll party

Welcome to the Saturday night party at TheZoo!

In honor of poll season election season, and the introduction of poll capability by WordPress, this is a poll party.

Mostly I’m using you to find out how the poll option works, but it’s for a good cause:  Um, I’ll think of something to put here…

Leave ideas for future polls, along with other snark et cetera in the comments section, and we’ll steal them from you use them in the future — with a hat tip to you!  If I remember….

Thanks to our great friend, Egreggious, for showing me that the scary poll thing really isn’t so scary.  🙂

Have fun!!


347 thoughts on “Saturday night poll party

  1. Well, that’s 2….

    I guess I’m going to have to think of some totally inflammatory polls — that sort of thing attracts the vermin, and they’re so funny.

  2. Has Barack Obama stopped beating his wife?

    1 Yes

    2 No

    3 I’ll leave that to the American people to decide

    4 I’m not going to answer the questions the moderator asks me, I’m going to speak directly to the American people.

  3. Why do all those poor and brown people want to vote anyway? Do they think America was made for people like them?


  4. Turns out I have six choices for President.

    I wonder what my voter pamphlet has to say about the Constitution Party candidate Chuck Baldwin.

    “Occupational Background: Chairman Florida Moral Majority, Ronald Reagan Campaign, 2004 Constitution Party Vice-presidential candidate.”

    Wow! That’s a lot more impressive than “community organizer”.

  5. “Educational Background: Midwestern Baptist College, Christian Bible College Masters Degree”

    Well, that’s certainly not like those liberal elitist Columbia University and Harvard Law School!

  6. “Prior Governmental Experience: taxpayer and voting citizen”

    Taxpayer, like Joe the Plumber!

    But how many times did he vote in each election? I need to know just how patriotic he is.

  7. Oops!! Sorry!

    Add “Christian” above. I most definitely was thinking about the slaves of the Christians.

    Not Muslims. When I think of Muslims, I think of Morgan Freeman in Robin Hood.

  8. Baldwin will:

    “recall US diplomats from the UN and end our membership”

    “veto federal funding and involvement in local education”

    “recognize the legal personhood of unborn children, treat abortion as crime and confront the morally indefensible Roe decision”

    I can see why he’s opposed to education!

  9. On which page. The pink gilled fellow on the first page lower left corner isn’t even a fish.

  10. Hi, Eggy!

    I remember those monstrosities! Fiche. How quaint!

    I voted, Zooey! I love blog polls, when they are done humorously. You can either ask straight-forward questions (like your starter) with snarky responses, or some of the meaningless questions being asked by Sarah Palin with humorous responses. We could set up a private thread for suggestions amongst ourselves, and we will always welcome suggestions from our good friends, like Eggy (Hi, Eggy!) on the Open Threads (which I think are a great idea.)

  11. Thanks, Eggy. That is, of course, the idea. I wanted some of them to stick in the heads of people working in Congress, so that when it came time to discuss the war in Iraq, my song would be going through their heads telling them to end it now. That part hasn’t exactly worked according to plan. But I appreciate your interest and your kind words. ( 🙂 ). I usually post them at both TheZoo and my blog, so you should make sure you check there in case you missed any. We have so many great posts and posters here that the one or two things I put up move down quickly.

  12. We may not all be seeing the same images in the same places on the Google Image link. If you have the “Moderate Safe Search” function disabled, you can get some really, really ugly fish images.

  13. O.K. I voted, welcome back Eggy…Off to hit the Bailey’s bottle and watch a chick flick..Leaving a batch of towel’s for all ya all when you get out of the pool…Just incase the troll’s show up, have fun and don’t play nicely, it’s boring…..Blessings all.

  14. And I was thinking the pink little thing in the lower left would make a good stealth bomber, because as he was floating in, getting ready to drop his payload, the ones below would be looking up going, “What the fuck is that? It swims like a fish but it has legs. And that weird little smile. Do you think he’s a friendly litt-” (BLAM)

  15. I tried voting “Other” and it didn’t seem to register it. Maybe it knew that I already voted.

    Eggy, Jane wanted to say Hello to you. She’s fixing something to eat right now. Eggy’s, in fact. 🙂

  16. I wish I could vote for Bachmann’s opponent a few times.

    Wayne, please yell a hello to Jane. Unless the eggs are still raw in the shell. That might be trouble.

  17. It appears that most of the 7 people who have voted on the poll chose the “I love them!”

    I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more polls on the Zoo!

  18. Thanks, Eggy. She says she be in here in “ten minutes”. Now, whether those are “ten Earth minutes” or “ten Jane minutes”, I don’t know, and neither would she. We won’t know until the space-time continuum sorts itself out.

  19. I wish we’d had that poll thing when we were first setting up this blog. We had so many decisions to make, and it would have made it so easy to get everybody’s input.

    But everything turned out fine in the end. TheZoo is a masterpiece!

  20. What the Hell? You drain the cesspool, you turn down the volume on the tunes, and now you wanna go with polls? Is this like some sort of sick Andy Kaufman type goof?

  21. Lance Armstrong made Dickipedia…

    Lance Armstrong married Kristin Richard in 1998. After bearing him three children, caring for them while he spent up to half a year, every year, training in Spain, and then supporting him through major illness and recovery, Armstrong rewarded his wife by dumping her for singer-songwriter Cheryl Crow. He subsequently broke off his engagement to Ms. Crow after she was diagnosed with cancer. That, apparently, was too much of a downer for him.

    In October 2007, he began dating Mary Kate Olsen. Or was it Ashley Olsen? No, it was Mary Kate. Whichever one it was, for a brief period, Armstrong was putting it to an anorexic ex-child star more than half his age. Not bad for a guy with one ball.


  22. “Polls are OK, but I prefer Czechs.”

    That’s great, ’cause I’m Czech! (With a last name like ‘Sechny’, what else could I be?)

    No rolling pin tonight, Zooey, Wayne’s right about my “ten minutes” not having any relationship to anyone else’s “ten minutes.”

  23. Really what happened Jane was that I accidentally ejumakated myself and was so proud of the accomplishment, I had to share it with somebody.

    Poor Zooey was the only one around for me to show off all my larnin’ to.

  24. Motherhood: it’s long, it’s hard and it’s extremely satisfying

    That’s what your mom said last night.


  25. If the Olsen twins count as one that changes everything. Zooey what’s the ruling on this? If they are one than the triad becomes Tim Allen, Olsen Twins, Wayne which is way dfferent from the triad of each Olsen girl and Tim Allen

  26. Ugh, who is that woman on the Food Network with the REALLY heavy and nasal southern accent?

    I’d rather listen to Palin!

  27. Zooey.
    I am gonna ignore that Food Network comment although my guts tell me that you might really need a television intervention.

    Can you still remember btv?

  28. Well, it ain’t exactly a lemur, but it does have a ring on it
    Too much info, Wayne.

  29. Does that mean Wayne is circumcised?

    I guess I was thinking of a different type of ring.
    I guess I really do suffer from gutter mind.

  30. Yeah, Wayne, too much info! 😀

    Just to set this straight: Eggy, I think that the picture of the lemur that you are using as your avatar is adorable. (Psst, we’ll talk about your fantasy later! Shh, don’t tell Wayne!) 😉

  31. Hi Jane,

    I’ve been a hermit as of late.
    I fell asleep @ 8:00pm and just woke up, so I think I’ll be hanging around for awhile tonight.

  32. I don’t know, Zooey.

    We could live vicariously through the love lives of the Zoosters.
    I know I want to hear Eggy’s story….

  33. Trueblue:
    If your gonna be awake, you might as well drink. Highball glass + ice+ Bacardi Limon’ + cranberry?

  34. BTW, it’s 10:30 PM in the East. In one hour we will be watching Sarah Palin on SNL. (Someone familiar with the skit said that it was very funny, though she was prohibited from revealing more. She begged Shuster not to ask her.)

  35. Welcome back to TV land, Zooey.

    The Chef Jeff project on Food Network seems pretty good.
    It started last Sunday night.
    He’s an ex-felon turned executive chef who is now trying to help other young kids in trouble.

  36. Sorry, Z, I forgot that you already had foreign objects protruding from your orifices.

    Wow! Talk about gutter.
    I am sooo glad I’m awake right now.

  37. It’s only until after Inauguration Day, true. Then it’s buh-bye teevee.

    I started to watch that Chef Jeff show, but got distracted.

  38. true,

    We are usually so caught up in watching Rachel that we forget to switch over. And this past Thursday, she was showing the Smith dinner speeches live, so we didn’t switch over then. We figured the really funny bits would be available on youtube soon, anyway, and I think most of them are.

    But no way in hell are we missing tonight’s show.

  39. Zooey. Are you really going to ditch the magic box post inauguration? If so cool because you are scaring me a little bit. Still I like Taboo on Natl Geo

  40. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but before I embarrass myself over at TP, isn’t the part of Virginia that Nancy Parttimefluffer calls “real America” the part that seceded from the United States of America?

  41. High Speed? Cool, Zooey.

    You could include your phone and cable for cheap-O bucks and have it all. (comcast)

  42. Why is it that my memory of American history differs from the right-wing’s?

    I know, I know!!!

    Your memories are based in fact and history.

    Extra credit! Woo!

  43. Why is it that my memory of American history differs from the right-wing’s?

    Perhaps two somewhat parallel universes have overlapped, and we’re forced to try to accommodate the one that makes no sense.

  44. I’ve finally arrived, kicking and screaming, in the 21st Century.

    High speed, cell phone, what’s next?
    Digital vibrator?

  45. Geez, Eggy,
    It’s a good thing I don’t have a drink in front of me, because it’d be sprayed all over my keyboard and monitor by now.

  46. Yeah, Eggy, but I hear the digital ones come with heuristic algorithm programs that help them learn how they are best used “effectively”. After a few uses, it takes less and less time to “get there”. 😉

  47. trueblue:
    Are you seeing any of the cool autumnal sunsets. I’ll swap my hellhole for your hellhole if you wanna. Oh yeah and I’ll want all your pogs too…

  48. I’d stick with the analog version if I were you, Zooey.

    I agree, but no more hand-crank versions. What a nightmare…

  49. After a few uses, it takes less and less time to “get there”.

    Wayne, it’s the long journey that’s most enjoyable. 😉

  50. Are you seeing any of the cool autumnal sunsets. I’ll swap my hellhole for your hellhole if you wanna. Oh yeah and I’ll want all your pogs too…
    Excuse me?
    If I have any pogs I think I’ll keep them to myself, thank-you-very-much.


  51. db,

    Horses and I have an agreement. I don’t ride them anymore, and they don’t run out from under me.

    Why do you think god invented the monkey bars anyway? 😆

  52. Maybe that could be the next poll, Zooey.

    “What speed is your vibrator set for?”

    “1. Bullet train”
    “2. Autobahn”
    “3. Normal”
    “4. Leaf watching trip”
    “5. Slow boat to China”

  53. Now I feel awkward… I didn’t have a horse but I did have one of those Farrah Fosset nipple posters…

  54. So there was this hilarious time when my friend who had worked upon a Korean fishing vessel in the Bering mistakenly said to the Korean parents of a student at openhouse, “you have a penis like a baby”. He felt like an idiot for obvious reasons but he thought he was saying something like ” Hello and thanks for coming”

  55. That one made me clench, MizzJ.

    Pushing out a head and shoulders is bad enough, but a mustache too…? That’s just too much.

  56. Z, I am petrified at the thought of ever giving birth, one of the reasons I never have. I lock up my knees so tight you need the jaws of life to pry them apart.

    That pic made me almost pass out when I first saw it.

  57. Actually, it’s better to let them out when they want out.

    Otherwise, it’s mustache time — and I don’t mean mustache rides!

  58. She was okay, not hilarious. Tina Fey was good as Palin answering questions at a press conference. And there were some surprise guests (I don’t like spoiling surprises like that).

    But what you really want to see are the MacGruber bits. They are freakin’ hilarious!

  59. Okay, I wasn’t sure if I could do anythign with the rest of it, so here’s a Paroditty of The Doors’ “Light My Fire”:

    Come on, baby, fight my liar
    Come on, baby, fight my liar
    Try to set his pants on…fire

  60. Okay, Weekend Update is definitely worth seeing. But not necessarily because of Sarah herself, though she was getting into it.

    I’ll let everyone fill in the details in their own minds until they get to see it. I was not inaccurate. 😀

  61. It was a good move on her part to go on the show, I think they would have done meaner material if she hadn’t been there.

  62. I agree, house, especially considering Tina Fey’s last couple of pokes at Palin. (Not that I considered those to be mean.) It was a good move, and Palin showed good humor in both scenes. Actually, besides the MacGruber bits, they were the funniest part of the show.

  63. We had the game on tonight, otherwise not so much. It still hurts. We’re rooting for the Red Sox, since we have a soft spot in our hearts for the Mets having won the ’86 series. Also, a good friend is a Sox fan so we’re hoping they win for him.

    Good game tonight, I’m sorry I missed the great comeback game.

  64. I haven’t really followed it much. It’s on weeknights while I’m working and the guy I work with likes to keep his XM on oldies country music all the time.
    I was watching the LSU/S.Carolina football game, which made me late to the cesspoll party. I had to play catch up right up to the photo posting.

  65. I’m in the office football pool every season, but I don’t follow college football at all. My dad loved it, and followed the drafts and all, but I’m not a huge fan.

    Aw, Zooey, you should watch it, it’s more what the cast members and others said and did around her that was funniest.

  66. I used to do those pools at work with the hundred squares and you put your initials in your chosen squares then they draw the numbers that correspond to the game score to decide who wins. I didn’t like the gambling part of it affecting my following the game, so I don’t do that any more. I’d rather just enjoy the game. I was pretty comfortable today at halftime of Ole Miss- Alabama but had to hang on til the end as they scraped by and won by four, after a 21 point lead at the half.

  67. Roberts, I never do the ‘box’ gambling (which our office always does for the Super Bowl), I just do the regular season. Even though I usually only win one week out of the season, I still manage to pick more games most weeks than most of the guys in the pool. Which is gratifying. 😉

    Zooey, ya West Coast (Idaho?) wimp ya! You know it’s waaay past my bedtime, too.

  68. Oh that’s right, Zooey, Pacific time shows are three hours behind Eastern. I forgot about that. I should know, I quite often catch stuff on HBO on the West coast feeds. So you would have to wait almost another hour yet.

  69. Well I won’t be offended if y’all want to cut out, I’ll be knocking around a couple more hours just to keep my schedule close to normal. It was fun, and I’m looking forward to more polls, Zooey. Mudflats was in third place in some kind of political blog popularity contest and I searched through it looking for the Zoo and TP, but I didn’t see either.

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