‘Twas the Month Before X-Box and all through the land,
the fake “War on Christmas” goes according to plan.
It’s always the same, no matter the facts.
Fake Christians pretend that they’re under attack!!!1!
Say “Merry Christmas” they shriek, or we’ll boycott your stores.
We’ll go on Fox News and call you all whores!
We’ll go on talk radio and create such a clatter,
to distract and divide you so nothing else matters.
And they conquer and divide us in all sorts of ways,
so that no one will notice how well their crime pays.
They run up our debts, with deficits galore.
While they cut their own taxes and stomp on our poor.
They preach Peace On Earth, and Good Will Towards Man.
But they dream of war profits, and invading Iran.
And with war in Iraq, and more dead every day,
their biggest concern is whether you’re gay.
But the whole War On Christmas is just this month’s ploy,
to profit from hate as Sears profits from toys.
And if Jesus was born in this day and age,
He’d die of starvation, on minimum wage.
But if He survived and grew to a man,
they’d call Him liberal and toss His Book in the can.
They’d call Him a commie, a pinko and worse,
then slap both His cheeks and send Him off with a curse.
They’d sue Him in court to trademark His name,
and sell Him on Wall Street for money and fame.
So for this “War on Christmas,” don’t shy from the fight
Tell them “talk’s cheap, just DO what is right.”
‘Cause He belongs in our hearts, not up on some wall.
Not stamped upon money, or in City Hall.
He knows us by deeds, not by prayers that we shout.
What we DO unto others, is what it’s about.
This poem was written by commenter Mia Kulper on ThinkProgress.