Saturday night in the cesspool

Bottoms up!!

Bottoms up!!

Photo by nwmuse

Did you ever have one of those days?  I had one yesterday, but it’s gone now.  🙂

Tonight’s the night for being mellow, so you know what that means — the wait-staff chimps have the night off, and the bar is open.

Relax and enjoy the company, tell a story or joke, post some music, it’s up to you.


50 thoughts on “Saturday night in the cesspool

  1. It basically went like this:
    “Let’s talk about your new movie: People don’t like you. Do you hate capitalism? Are you a hypocrite? Are you a socialist? Why are you being mean to our democracy? If you’re so clever why don’t YOU fix the things you’re complaining about? ”

    Blitzer got pwned every time!

  2. What’s amazing me, is with the Dems in the majority, how much more exposure Moore is getting for this movie than for Sicko. He’s been on every MSM talk show promoting it.

  3. house, yeah it appears that way.

    I think the teabaggers and the Paultards, the so called “independents: are going to be very confused.

    They all hate the bailout because SOCIALISM!
    But Moore hates the bailout too!
    But he hates capitalism because SOCIALISM!
    But they hate the Federal Reserve!
    But Moore hates Wall Street!

  4. did any of you see Blitzer’s beat-down on Jeopardy?

    Christ, in Jeopardy you don;t have to actually know the answer most of the time, you can figure it out. He couldn’t. You could actually see his brain NOT working!

    I’d rate Katie Couric over Blitzer any day.

  5. Katie Couric’s legs are smarter than Blitzer.
    I wish they would give Rick Sanchez more time on CNN in the afternoon, he could take an hour off Blitzer and it would improve their ratings. Sanchez leans Progressive, is obviously pro-Hispanic, and up on cutting edge stuff like Twitter.

  6. Zooey,

    in the rehearsal he was down by $38K ( it think) and then in broadcast I think didn’t get above $1K and went to MINUS $4,300! ROFL

  7. Tom Baker?!!! Call yourself a fan?! 😀

    Patrick Troughton, the original!
    And I got to meet a real Dalek when I was 4!
    It scared the crap out of me!

  8. Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: “TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.”

    A policeman stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

    Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, “JESUS SAVES.”

    One of the girls asked the cop, “Why don’t you stop them?”

    “Well, that’s a little different,” the cop smiled. “Their sign pertains to religion.”

    The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

    The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: “TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00.”

  9. 5th,
    Absolutely nothing like 24. It’s a good thing I have DVR, because sometimes I have to rewind and watch scenes twice. You can’t let your attention wander for a moment or you miss important details. Especially in the opening scenes.

  10. Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, “Do you think there’s baseball in Heaven?”

    Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal — if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if there’s baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.”

    They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, “Sol… Sol….”

    Sol responds, “Abe! Is that you?”

    “Yes it is, Sol,” whispers Abe’s ghost.

    Sol, still amazed, asks, “So, is there baseball in Heaven?”

    “Well,” says Abe, “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

    “Gimme the good news first,” says Sol.

    Abe says, “Well, there is baseball in Heaven.”

    Sol says, “That’s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?”

    Abe sighs and whispers, “You’re pitching on Friday.”

  11. 5th, you’re such a smartass. 😀 The “practicing” referred to “without hurting myself.”

    Zooey, partially. There’s still some persistent swelling in my forearm just below the wrist, which has my doc concerned – it’s also the part that hurts the most.

  12. Wayne can you actually “tell” these types of jokes in person? ( as well as being a brilliant song writer?)—cos I appreciate them but they require a delivery that I’ve never mastered.

  13. 5th,

    I have a “voice” that I can use for stand-up jokes. These aren’t original. I get them from my Comedy Central daily joke e-mail. Some are lame, especially the Yo Mama jokes (which I was never a fan of), and they also have a lot of dumb blonde jokes.

  14. ooh, I just found the perfect video for Wayne and Jayne! It’s a romantic medical song called :

    “My Favorite Girl is Like a Malady” ( and you should note that Stanley Baxter (who sings it) plays FIVE different parts in it).

    I’ll post it in the next comment to make sure it ‘takes’.

  15. Well, Zooey, if they noticed that on the xrays at the hospital they didn’t tell me. Then again, nobody really told me much of anything while I was in hospital. As of yesterday, my doctor hadn’t seen the xrays.

    My fingers work (thumb’s a bit painful). My doctor thinks that the swollen area could become an abcess, so I have to go back to see her Wednesday. It doesn’t help that it’s in the same spot where my wrist was broken before.

    Okay, enough typing for now. 😦

  16. A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, ”But we don’t know anything about each other.” He said,”That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.” So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. So one morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

    ”That was incredible!” she said.

    ”I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.” So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.

    ”That was incredible!” he said. “Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”

    ”No,” she said, ”I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.”

  17. So an American woman walks into a hospital and says to the doctor “Look, Doctor I’ve been savaged by a cat”

    And the Doctor looks at the wound and says “Well, we better get an X-ray to see what the damage is.”

    So they take the X-ray and the woman waits for the results.

    Then when she see the doctor again he says “I’ve got some good news and some bad news”

    The woman thinks for a moment and then says “give me the bad news first”.

    “Okay” says the doc, “the bad news is I didn’t look at your X-rays and I have no idea why your arm is still swollen”

    “And the good news?” asks the woman.

    “America has the finest health care system in the world you owe me $75 for an X-ray I ordered and then didn’t look at, and by Wednesday you’ll probably owe me another $200 whether I’;ve looked at the X-Ray or not !”

    See? I just can’t tell this kind of joke worth a damn!

  18. JES,
    If the area affected is an area where you had a prior wound, then the swelling could be due to reduced circulation in that area. A local injection of prednisone can alleviate both the swelling and the pain by amplifying the auto-immune system for the affected area.

    Swelling in the wrist area affects finger movements because the muscles that control finger motion are actually located in the forearm and are anchored near the elbow. The motions are transmitted by sinews that pass through carpel tunnels in the wrist.

  19. This MI-5 is about a visit to the UK by President Bush. Police are having to battle with anti-war protestors that don’t want him in the country.

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