Sunday Roast. Mothers’ Day

Happy Mothers’ Day to all you moms out there. Here are some various approaches to a greeting on your special day. Cute one up front and not-so-cute after the jump. Feel free to chime in in the comments; this is our Sunday Open Thread.

53 thoughts on “Sunday Roast. Mothers’ Day

  1. Well, I’m going to do this now, because I might as well whilst I still have the means.

    I went to a local store this weekend that rents used DVDs and console games. They paid me 25 cents each for my DVDs. I got $14.
    I tried pawning my DV Camcorder, but the owner wasn’t interested.
    I have two very-well equipped desktop computers that cost me $2K and $5K respectively to build because I designed them to be “future proof”–they both can run the latest games and.or AutoCAD/3D-CGI animation software, even though they are now 6 and 4 years old respectively.
    But who really is going to buy them? And when?

    Everything I have left of any value is going to have to stay in ‘my’ apartment to recompense my landlady for not being able to pay the rent, and if she’s not interested then they’ll have to stay here anyway because I can’t take them with me to wherever the hell it is that I’ll be going.

    I have a pretty major “Emergency Preparedness Kit”: three-season tent, sleeping pad, 15-degree sleeping bag, hexamine cooker, mess kit, emergency food, canteen, filter bottle, purification tablets, M-3 medical kit, hygiene kit, fire starter, survival knife, combat boots and full US army combat uniform including cold/wet weather gear.

    That’s a lot more than most suddenly homeless people have, but it looks like that’s what my little life is going to be reduced to very shortly–a tent, a backpack and a change of clothes.

    It just occurred to me I might prevail on the British consulate to help get me out of this country and back to the UK where they do the social safety-net thing so much better and where they don’t have political party full of raving loonies and retards fucking everything up. Not sure WHY the Brits would help me get back just to be unemployed and homeless over there, but it would be better than being unemployed and homeless over here.

    So that’s my situation, thought I’d let everyone here know.

  2. 5th, truly saddened at your plight.

    I’d invite you out to CA – but I’m all boxed up with no place to go. (finding ‘affordable’ apt. is a bit of a struggle).

    If and when you can please let us know how things go.

  3. 5th, I don’t recall where you are located and offers from the gentle gender are always interesting but I have lots of room here in Wi. This big old barn has been more of a rooming house than anything in the 9 years I’ve been here.

  4. I’m already putting up my otherwise homeless daughter – she came to “visit” for a couple of weeks – last summer.

    Yosemite was nice. Perfect weather. Dogwood and wildflowers in bloom on the valley floor, 8′ to 10′ of snow on the road to Glacier Point. The falls are going strong, and it’s always an amazing rush to be standing in the waterfall driven wind and mist. Saw some deer mid-day grazing in the meadow.

    Our three must-see stops are Bridalveil Falls, the Wawona vista and Lower Yosemite Falls.

    Mirror Lake is now Mirror Meadow, but the Mrs. and I both saw it when we were kids, when it still was Mirror Lake.

    We drove in through Briceburg Canyon, and saw some rafters. There’s some serious rapids in that canyon; rafting would be a blast, but preferably when it’s a bit warmer, ‘cuz you’ll get soaked.

    There’s also about a quarter-mile stretch where a huge landslide took out the road. They came up with an ingenious solution around the slide, for now: they put up two temporary bridges across the river to the old abandoned railroad bed on the opposite bank, and paved a single lane road on it. The tracks had been removed decades ago.

    If any of you are ever headed out to Yosemite, give me a shout-out. If I can manage the time off, I’d love to show you around.

  5. Very kind offers Zooey, 2ebbandflow and hoodathunk.

    As I’m in New Jersey, Idaho, California and Wisconsin are all just about as far away as England is! 😀

    I actually looked at the freight trains that pass through my neighborhood as a possible transport option, but the trains don’t look the same as they do in the old movies.
    Instead of those handy wooden wagons with the unlocked sliding doors all they seem to have is five miles of giant open-top metal boxes full of unlabeled industrial something-or-other or, if empty then presumably full of mosquito-infested blackwater.

    Hobo-ing isn’t what it used to be, thanks to so called progress! :D.

  6. Hobo-ing isn’t what it used to be, thanks to so called progress!

    Too true. Nor is hitching. But I could spring for bus fare if you are interested.

  7. Zooey, hoodathunk.

    I haven’t looked at Amtrak or bus fares. I remember taking the train to Chicago from New York in 2000. That was something like $150, but there was a job at the end of it.
    I don’t have $150. I don’t have $75.
    Tomorrow I’m hoping I’ll be able to get on Food Stamps. That will give me food ( apparently $326 per month.
    There are a couple of homeless shelters in Jersey City.
    I figure if I stay in this area, although there’s plenty of competition there’s also plenty of potential for employment which I am guessing is better due to variety and because though city life is expensive, the city is also where demand and the money is, even in bad times.
    I think also the local city/state support structure is probably better and more flexible. NJ/NY should have more leverage than most states with the Fed–NJ pays more into the Fed than any other state and always has.

    I think I have to survive here in NJ/NY, or persuade the British authorities to get me back to the UK.

  8. On a lighter note, whilst perusing the bits and pieces of my life I came across this poem written in 2004.

    REAGAN REDUX

    Arms for hostages? I don’t recall
    That doesn’t sound like me at all
    Death squads financed by the deal?
    That I approved? Please, get real!

    The Commies crashed, now that I claim
    It’s the basis of my fame
    I did have a great plan for Aids
    Gay bars to get twice-nightly raids

    Low wages? Well just bear your cross
    It’s your own fault, and it’s your loss.
    Trickle-down worked for friends and me
    Tough luck for you it felt like pee.

    Grenada was a war we won
    (Okay, the enemy had just one gun!)
    The troops who died in Lebanon?
    I forgot to put my “game-face” on

    Star Wars was a great idea
    Inspired by a twelve-pack of beer
    It seemed to work on the big screen
    Real billions spent but real results not seen

    Yet I was loved, so my friends say
    And they still say it to this day
    My legacy? It’s plain to see
    GW Bush and Dick Cheney

    So here I am a quasi God
    Some might think that’s rather odd
    Despite the facts, I’m deified
    Even though I clearly lied

    Funny how “I don’t’ recall”
    Served me well and tricked them all
    Alzheimer’s was the perfect tool
    I sat there and just played the fool

    No consequence for what I’d done
    No fault ascribed to me, no, none
    What I feigned once became a fact
    And truth replaced what was once an act.

    I was the best, so many say
    Others feel a different way,
    I’d like to tell, to tell you all
    How great I was; but I can’t recall.

  9. 5th, this simply can’t be true. There must be paid work for you, with a mind like yours employers should be glad to hire you. I am absolutely devastated to hear it.

    I so wish I were nearer to you and could make the same offer as Zooey, ebb and hood.

  10. I apologize that this thread has presently become more about me than Gummitch’s post and mothers everywhere, but “society is to blame” 😀

    I can only thank you all for your kind offers and sympathies at the moment.

    Hoodathunk–what type of work am I looking for?
    Anything.
    I have been a graphic designer, a photographer, a light-construction worker, a custom cabinetmaker, an IT helpdesk operator and troubleshooter, an IT implementation specialist, a technical draftsman and a technical writer. I’ve done a lot, but sadly for me I’ve not been ruthlessly ambitious about my own material and fiscal gain; had I been, I wouldn’t be where I am today. *sigh*

  11. Zooeeeeeey!

    I just got 94% on my Chemical Addictions exam!

    That’s great! But I’m guessing that was just on theory and not a practical.
    Unless it WAS practical, in which case scoring 94% on practical “Chemical Addictions” is like scoring 3,009% clean.sober! So woo-hoo indeed! 😀

  12. 5th, it seems you are something of a jack of all trades. If you are under 50, you should be golden. If you are over 50, best have a silver tongue.

    My daughter is out right now interviewing with a local body shop to become an air brush artist. She has the art talent and they say they will teach her to air brush.

  13. EV:
    There must be paid work for you, with a mind like yours employers should be glad to hire you.

    One would like to think so, but the trick is in finding appreciative employers, and in there being the jobs and companies available that permit/can afford some smart employees.

    If employment were simply based on meritocracy ( ability to do a given job and potential to do a better job then the world would be a different place for a great many people.

    But it isn’t, because both employers and employees have or develop different ideas about what is acceptable and exceptional, about what is good, indifferent or bad.

    I’ve done well in the corporate world as a ‘team leader’ of half a dozen people but I’m no manager in the management mold that I’ve encountered.
    The smartest people I’ve met and worked with have understood the production/management systems they’ve found themselves in and have found a balance between the two. I’ve seen that balance and appreciated it in others, but could never quite manage it myself (I’m not alone in this, for sure).

    Those who can maintain such balance are the best people to work for and with, but they are also to be learned-from and I for one, didn’t learn in practical terms what I could appreciate about their skills in practical terms.

    Anyway, yeah I’m sure there’s a perfect job/employer for me, its just finding it AND then knowing how to retain it. (My last job was “perfect”, I could do it better than the man who hired me, BUT only within the strictest confines of the immediate job–what I failed to appreciate was what I needed to do to KEEP the job and build on it).

    • 5th, don’t I know it? My cv and resume make perfect reading. I am sending them out for two years now, but I have been at home taking care of two kids for the last 14 years and while I did a lot of voluntary work (on an executive level, too) during those 14 years I got 49 years old. Guess what? I can’t find a job. I won’t even get one that a fairly intelligent ape could do. I am lucky hubby is very successful in his career, but I would like to be able to earn my own keep.

      Btw. For managment your vocabulary is just too big. If you know other than the about 50 words managers use (balance sheet, shareholder value, benchmarks and the likes) you are considered weird.

      You’re a very smart guy and nice and funny, too. It’s a shame what’s going on.

      {{{hugs}}}

  14. Zooey, “I just got 94% on my Chemical Addictions exam! Woo hoo!”

    I’ll drink to that!

    p.s. I’ve not posted at TP for 2 weeks now. It was like breaking an addiction…I quit cold turkey after getting voted down.

  15. I hear you 5th. About 9 years ago I was let go by a large company. They wanted to get into a new market but weren’t willing to pay the piper to do so. I went with a local competitor, a mom and pop niche operation. The boss is an engineer working as an administrator and a helluva a nice guy.

    I don’t have to dress fancy or play corporate, just help the sales for the company. So far, it has worked well. Good luck finding your niche.

  16. Good Day all, just flying over.Will try to make this a quickie…Damn, So sorry to hear 5th..If possible try and hit a local food bank while you still have an address..Once signed up with ID they don’t check..Know several people living in the woods in tents for years and still keeping their card active and they no longer have addresses….

    Can’t remember where I read it but last week read an article 70% of our population were in severe distress, a large portion were still about to loose their homes and many had cut services and food to scrimp by..I’m in that group as well, cut the paper and about to cut all but internet..And before long I hope to be on the road…

    The 8 of us are still required to pay rent while the garbage stacks up.(cuts to the state health Dept. have caused them to drop services and forcing slum lords to do what they are supose to do by law…Our water is full of arsenic and we must truck in more water at our expense for the same reasons as above…The septic system is about to over flow and again, same as above…Government Depts. that are required to help no longer can or will because of cut back’s…What once was a paradise is now hell…All of us are trapped, can’t afford to move and can’t sell out or find another place, no place will take our old units…

    I know there is no comfort in knowing how bad so many people are doing, it’s distressing to me to read you are also trapped in this night mare..

    I spent yesterday cleaning the old 68 pick up…Swapped the tool box back for the old canopy and the neighbors are going to help me put it back on to camp my way back to N.H with one big dog and a cat….Scrounged a piece of plywood and a foam mattress, that and a cooler are going to have to do….The beginning of a survival plan….At 68 and worn out there is little wiggle room.

    Please forgive the length here..I do send Blessings and well wishes 5th, sorry I can do no more than that….

    Sorry for the length..Will be in touch for a short while myself, as my meager funds go am doing all I can to get the hell outta dodge….

    Happy Mothers day to all the moms and a happy day to all those that made them that way..(Cute thought BnF)…Peace, Blessings & Justice all.

    • Nice to see you, Great Lady. I’m sorry things are going to hell in your little paradise. Such a shame. I know you were the bigger part of keeping it a paradise.

      Hugs to you on this Mother’s Day.

      If it works out right, maybe we can meet up when you fly over on your way to NH.

  17. hoodathunk,

    if you are under 50, you should be golden. If you are over 50, best have a silver tongue.

    I’m exactly 50 (since January) so I’m more like Iron Pyrites, I guess.

    I hope your daughter has a successful interview. Even if she isn’t offered a paying job I’d suggest she ask to be allowed to ‘help’ (employ pouting and sad moist eyes as needed).

    Nothing beats learning by doing and nothing beats an expressed and qualified interest in just working first and foremost just to learn and apply yourself, whilst you still have choice rather than brutal necessity to deal with.

    Airbrushing is a real skill that can be developed and applied in many ways, and it is both artistic and technical. You daughter may have the artistic talent but she’ll pick-up the technical aspects faster by just doing the work and working with professionals–even without a ‘real wage’ at first. The technical expertise aids the artistic talent and enables it. If she doesn’t get the actual ‘job’ I;d suggest she persuade them to accept her as an ‘intern’–she can learn a lot and the odds are she’d be recognized for the effort and get a better offer as a result, in no time flat.

  18. 5th, my avatar is one of my daughter’s works. She has a heritage for both artistic and technical so I suspect she will do well with the interview.

  19. Thanks for the well wish’s and thoughts hoodathunk & Lady Z…

    Right now it looks like I will be going over the top, through N. Idaho and Montana…Still several weeks out but have to get on the road and out before bad weather hits again..The rest here plan to wait for the hot shot attorneys to stall the court dates and hope for a big pay out..Me, I’m going to yard sale all the stuff I don’t need that I can for gas money…10 miles to the gallon in the old pick up will cost….May tow a trailer with what ever is left..

    My alternative plan is to fly the 3 of us back after I sell off everything I can’t afford to ship….Troubles with that plan are I don’t want Bear and Bob in a cargo hold and layovers along with the fact I can’t take my gun’s with out a lot of hassel….LOL..Having a dealer ship to a N. H. dealer is risky at best….

    The huge problem is the fact I must sell cheap or give away my unit so the state do’s not come after me for towing and storage fees when I am gone…Ugh!

    May 18th is a trigger, the court will set a trial date when this mess is to go to trial…If it’s a month out I will stay, any longer and I’m gone…Plan to go to this date setting thing, it’s a learning process for me….Will keep you all posted if possible…Sorry again for the long windy…Blessings to 5th and all.

  20. my dear witch1

    there is actually “comfort in knowing how bad so many people are doing” because it provides very necessary perspective.

    If others have it as bad or worse than me, and still manage to maintain their sanity and social decorum than I damn well should be able to as well, or else admit the shallow foundations of my self-respect and respect for others. The company of misery is less miserable than misery with no company at all, and hope and humanity is sustained by company, however miserable for all whereas a misery endured alone is terribly hopeless.

  21. Back at ya, Dear 5th…Note, a good post above and very true…From the posts here you are not alone…We are all in this mess together, in my 68 years I have never seen it so bad and with good thoughts and strong spirit all of us will make it…People are hopeing and wishing you well and I believe collective thoughts help a lot and you have many..

    Off to the store and then must finish cleaning the truck….Happy Posting all….Oh and a final note, a poor neighbor went to the UofW sale last week and got a great P.C. and moniter for $100 a couple other guys went with him, they all scored…Any one needing a computer should check with the local colleges.. P. B. & J

  22. EV,
    My cv and resume make perfect reading. I am sending them out for two years now, but I have been at home taking care of two kids for the last 14 years and while I did a lot of voluntary work (on an executive level, too) during those 14 years I got 49 years old. Guess what? I can’t find a job. “

    My sister-in-law was Exec.Sec to the #2 guy in Burson-Marsteller in NY, followed him to Washington .D.C with husband and 1-year old child in tow, then quit to raise Elizabeth (she’s the spitting image of Scarlett Johannson now, at 14)whilst my brother set up his own business from scratch and has done very well–until now.

    I told him of my present situation and told him it was my problem, not his. and I was just letting him know.
    4 years ago he could have and would have given me $5K to help out. Now he can only send me $100 (actually his wife okayed $200, but that’s all they can spare).

    Deborah ( sis-in-law) is quite brilliant—very well educated, speaks Russian, French, very computer literate, very organized, broadly informed, intellectual and practical, top-notch executive material. Whilst raising Elizabeth she’s become a Master Gardener and a docent at a local historic house.
    By rights she could be Secretary of State quite frankly, but she’s been out of the executive workforce for ten years now. I don’t fancy her odds for rejoining it at even half her old level, even in Washington D.C ( and she’s, dare I say it, a 45-year old MILF).
    .

    Btw. For managment your vocabulary is just too big. If you know other than the about 50 words managers use (balance sheet, shareholder value, benchmarks and the likes) you are considered weird.

    So true.

    At Sears I received an embossed Chairman’s Team Service Award (with my own actual name on it!) for “team activities, making Sears a Compelling Place to Shop, a Compelling Place to Work and a Compelling Place to Invest”

    In fact I was best known by my most immediate colleagues for being in the office for at best two weeks a month. (My cubicle was moved once and no one told me).
    I didn’t “participate in a team”— I had no one under me, no-one beside me, my boss gave me no direction and the only help and support I got was from some guy in the cubicle next to mine who had no connection to me on the org chart (he (Jeff) and I were the real team). I actually had NOTHING TO DO with SEARS as I was working for a new business division that was desperate to hide its connection with Sears.
    All I did was personally install networks in six new new stores whilst they were still under construction–simultaneously.

    In one of the earliest stores I worked on, one of the major sales areas of the stores had some “compelling” supposedly genuine customer affidavt quote spelled out in four foot high Styrofoam letters high up on the wall. It was in fact some trite tripe that a Sear VP had come-up with, and it was plain bad English.
    As a “team player” I pointed it out, several times, and included it in one of my reports back to HQ.
    got a lot of shit for my effort in trying to maintain the up-scale image the store was supposed to project and the mangled English signage stayed up! .

  23. I am saddened to hear of others struggles here; I will hold you all with warm healing thoughts, and if there is any practical way I can help (and there are some pretty fantastic offers out there already!), I will . . . that being said . . .

    The nurturing I have seen and felt here, today especially, has touched my heart. And Zooey, as the mother of this community, I would like to hold you up on this day and say, “Thank you, Mom!”

    What a Mother’s Day gift this space is! Peace be with you all today and everyday –

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