Watering Hole: October 30, 2010 – The Beach – Open Thread

The Tea Party is always complaining about taxes.  This is what vacation would be like without our public beaches.

This is our Open Thread.  How was your Summer vacation?  Speak Up!

From Jeff Seeman’s Diary

Let’s say that you’re a Teabagger and you want to get rid of taxes. I tell you it’s not possible, but you don’t listen to me. That’s cool.

So you win. Taxes are gone. No taxes in the USA. You win. The federal government and all the evils that go with it are gone forever.

Now let’s finish your scenario out, OK? Humor me.

You might think that with no taxes, you’ll make more money, right?

Wrong.

Let’s say that you make 40,000 dollars a year now. But your take home pay is only 30,000 dollars. Your employer knows that he doesn’t have to pay the federal government those nasty taxes anymore, but he also knows that you’ve been willing to come to work every day for a 30,000 dollar take-home amount. Guess who’s getting a pay decrease down to 30k a year? You are. The taxes are gone, did you really think that your employer wouldn’t choose to benefit from that first?

So now you make the same amount as before, but there’s no money going to social security anymore. The same amount of money you lived on before now has to get you beyond retirement.

Your 401k is gone too. The company that manages it has wiped the accounts dry. Who’s going to stop them from doing that now that the federal regulators have all been fired?

Perhaps you’d better start saving 10 percent of your paycheck for future retirement plans? Whoops, can’t do that. The FDIC doesn’t exist, so the banks have all been cleaned out. So have the accounts you used to have money in. Your consumer protections are gone, and the person nearest to the vault with a key is now racing towards Bermuda with sacks of your money.

We didn’t really want all those nasty regulations on the banks anyway, did we?

OK, so you can handle this. You don’t need help. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, right?

You’ll be OK, I’m sure of it. But your kids are hungry, so you’d better go to the store to get groceries. Be careful with the meat and the produce departments, though. Sometime last month, the farmer realized that his farm subsidies were gone and he’s gotta cut corners to survive, not to mention raising his prices. In the cutting of the corners, he stopped feeding his cattle clean food. Now those cows are all sick and their meat is packaged up nice for you to buy and feed to your kids.

There’s no FDA and no USDA to monitor the food your farmer provides to the grocery store, so you’re on your own.

Oh and by the way, the ground beef that will be in your digestive system soon just cost you double what it used to, if you’re lucky. Price controls have been dissolved altogether.

When your family gets sick from that tainted meat, you’ll have to rush them to the hospital. Pray that their illness has already been given a cure, because the Centers For Disease Control no longer can help your local hospital identify any viruses.

Also, don’t drink the water in your neighborhood anymore. The Environmental Protection Agency, as it turns out, was actually protecting the environment. You didn’t think Monsanto was going to stop chemical dumping in the streams and lakes of America on their own, did you?

On your way home from the hospital, drive slowly. The traffic lights no longer work because they were part of the local government control and there’s no more tax money left to operate the lights. This alone caused a lot of accidents, and most of the wreckage is left behind for you to drive around if you can. Ever noticed the people that sweep up the broken glass after even the most minor fender-benders? Guess what paid their salaries?

When you get home, pray it’s still there. Without police, what do you think the odds are that people just left it alone? Unless you left your husband/wife behind with a big gun 24/7, somebody’s coming in to take your stuff. And if they have a bigger gun, you just lost your husband and his 30k a year too.

Hopefully that house doesn’t catch fire too. No fire department. And even if there were friends willing to help put out the fire, where do you think they’re going to get the water to douse the flames? Those fire hydrants were not placed there by divine intervention.

Hopefully you prepared for all this by stockpiling on guns and assorted weaponry. Not like it’ll matter. There’s armies from about 2 dozen countries that either are ready to invade or already have. Who’s gonna stop them? Jimbo and his homemade militia? I’m sure the people in your neighborhood can fill in for the boys that used to be in our military, because you know….wolverines! I loved that film too. But let’s be honest….the Cubans and Russians were going to kick our ass, no matter how many high school football players Patrick Swayze can recruit.

Even if the world community takes pity on us and defends us from invading armies, it won’t take long for the airports to become havens of hysteria. Weapons on airplanes are easy as pie. The TSA that performs security checks at the gate…who do you think paid their salaries? They’re part of that massive government waste you’re so happy to be rid of. Maybe the federal marshalls on every plane will protect you….oh, wait. Never mind.

Aside from the easy pickings that terrorism will find in the skies, you won’t be safe on the ground either. Timothy McVeigh is about to be a happy memory compared to the chemical detonations that are possible now. The regulatory committees that monitored the sale and purchase of toxic materials are gone daddy gone.

So between the tainted meat, your pay cut, your 401k being wiped out, the hospitals being overrun by people who ate the same tainted meat, your house being an easy target, the threat of terrorism at all-time highs, and having to fight for your own survival on a hourly basis….don’t you think that maybe it’s better that you just shut up and pay your damn taxes?

Or are you willing to risk all that just because you once heard about a guy who was lazy and took 300 bucks a month in unemployment?

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I don’t expect a response, but it felt good to write that.  Screw John Galt.

UPDATE – Thanks for the rec list.  I better fix all my typos.

UPDATE 2 – yes, I give you 110% freedom to republish my response, crib from it, whatever you wish.  What’s mine is yours.