The Watering Hole: Wednesday, October 5, 2011.

This past weekend a group of “delegates” held a “Constitutional Convention” in the Bohemian Grove, a coastal redwood forest near the tiny town of Monte Rio, California.

Headed by none other than former Governor Sarah Palin, the group set about on a monumental task of rewriting the Constitution of the United States of America. Sources reveal their plan is to introduce their new Constitution shortly after Republicans regain control of the Senate and the White House, together with control of the legislatures of 38 States, ensuring its passage.

Eyewitnesses report the Grove had various notable politicos and various influential guests arriving and departing at all hours of the day and night, including brief visits by Michelle Bachmann, the Koch Brothers, Ann Coulter, Mitt Romney and Ginther, a local stand-up comic that does Al Jolsen imitations with a Southern German accent.

After the “Constitutional Convention” wrapped up, local dumpster divers, looking for left-over filet mignon, lobster and abalone, discovered a copy of their final-revised-completed-top-top-top-secret menu, as well as the handwritten copy of our next Constitution.

We, here at The Zoo, have spared no expense to bring this highly sensitive, potentially politically explosive document to you, our beloved Readers.


We, the Citizens of this Great God-Given Land, in order to form a more Perfect Union between us and Our Lord and Savior, and to prepare the way for His Coming, as He has promised us He would, do hereby adopt this Constitution of the Citizens United States of America.



Congress is useless, and a waste of taxpayer’s money. All laws shall be proposed by the United Citizens of this Great Country by posting them online on Facebook, or other such similar website as the President may declare from time to time. Those proposed laws that receive the most votes shall become law, unless of course, the President disagrees, in which case it shall not become a law, but it will be deemed a good idea anyway.


The President.

The President is God’s Representative here on earth. He, or She, reigns supreme over the land, and the fighting forces, and all the animals and plants and birds and fishes and natural resources.
The President shall be elected by a direct vote of the people eligible to vote, that is, white men who own property, just as our Founding Fathers wanted. All votes shall be tabulated by Deibold voting machines, or by such similar machines as a successor company shall make. Votes shall be counted according to the net worth of the voter.


The Judiciary.

The Courts shall deal with criminal matters only. People with civil disputes should resolve them before God, not a judge.


Full Faith and Credit.

We put our Full Faith and Credit in God. All previous debts and obligations incurred by the United States when it was in the throes of pagan, heathen, secular-humanist, liberals are hereby refudiated.





Amendments to this Constitution.

Ain’t gonna happen.



Gay people can’t get married.



People can buy all the guns and ammo they can afford.



See Article 6.

Oh, and all the previous laws of the United States are hereby declared null and void and to no effect whatsoever. And States, you can do whatever you want as long as you don’t want to do anything that’s not allowed by this Constitution.

This is our Open Thread. Speak Up!

157 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, October 5, 2011.

  1. I’m upset that the Bohemian Grove redwoods may have been adversely affected by the poisonous exhalations of these slugs.

      • I caught on before hitting the tags, but not before a few bad moments. The thought of Sarah Palin approaching old growth was nauseating.

      • Interestingly enough, Bohemian Grove is a self-parody, for all practical purposes. I wonder if they still have the “pee on a tree” ceremony? Or maybe the one they call the Cremation of Care ceremony?

        Oddly enough, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if that collection of nuts has indeed written a new Constitution for us. I don’t think it’d be overly godly, though, not coming from that group.

        • Understood. It seems to go beyond simple parody, and more resembles outright mockery of bohemianism. And I doubt they would bother with anything resembling a Constitution, favoring something instead more akin to Dictates of Despotism.

      • I caught on right away. The giveaway was Sarah Palin heading up the Convention. I doubt that Sarah Palin could lead herself out of a paper bag, much less a Conservative Constitutional Convention.

        • Sarah Palin is a female. Far as I know official female appearances at Bohemian Grove are unwelcome and frowned upon. To put it mildly. Bohemian Grove is the exclusive pervue of rich, white, males, and only the extremely rare exception is allowed. Can’t imagine Palin fitting that category.

      • It took me a few seconds to realize it was satire — and while I am a tiny bit red-faced by that, I must say that it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that the rightwing fundies wouldn’t love to have such document as law.

  2. I recommend against reading all the personal stories of the 99% with your morning coffee. I’m going to have to pull a lot of weeds to work off some of my anger.

  3. And in others news, a new poll shows that voters have rejected Herman ‘Black Walnut’ Cain, in his bid for President, when it was discovered he is deathly afraid of squirrels and chipmunks!

    This is funny.

    Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin wins special election for governor of West Virginia! Tomblin, as State Senate President, was acting governor, following previous governor Joe Manchin’s election to deceased Senator Robert Byrd’s vacant seat. This despite mass quantities of Citizen’s Untied money attempting to tie Tomblin to President Obama.

    • I’m near enough to WV that I was subjected to the anti-Tomblin “Stop Obama” ad about every 10 minutes. It must have cost the group paying for it a mint. I’m glad it didn’t work and delighted that it’s over!

      • Stop Obama doing what excactly?

        1. Stop Obama giving me tax cuts
        2. Stop Obama giving the rich folks their Bush tax cuts
        3. Stop Obama giving the health insurance companies a guaranteed monopoly and keeping the prescription drug bill
        4. Stop Obama bombing the brown people
        5. Stop Obama not doing anything about your guns
        6. Stop Obama not prosecuting any of the Wall Street crooks

        Best Republican president since Lincoln…. why stop the guy…. I just don’t get it? Is it just because he’s so great *and* that ‘the Sheriff is a ….’?

    • There’s light in this money-shadowed election environ!
      Hope that people will see through the attempts to purchase their votes by banging them over the head with Koch fueled propaganda….Hope, sweet hope…

    • That is good news — the repugs mounted a very strong campaign against the Democrat (lots of money for TV ads, etc.) but the Dem won anyway.

    • It seems to me the problem isn’t Greece or Ireland or Portugal, the problem is Wall Street, the greedy bastards who work there and all of these exotic credit swaps, derivatives, betting on stocks that will fall,etc, etc, all of this that have no transparency and isn’t really understood by those in DC or those who are suppose to regulate these evil, greedy bastards.

      Wall Street needs to be gutted. Our financial system is broken. Money in the hands of a few, the risks, damage and losses felt by everyone else.

      • I’ve been wondering something, maybe someone can explain. Money is a basically meaningless term, as it’s really nothing other than a medium of exchange issued by various governments around the world. Today the operative freak-out concern is debt — European debt, US debt, global debt, etc. etc. Since that’s the obvious problem, why doesn’t each government (or, in the case of most of Europe, the EU) simply issue enough new currency to wipe out all the debt? Then start over with new and fresh regulations on white collar banditry, of course, with promise of incarceration at gitmo for all who continue with their old rip-offs or invent new ones.

        • I’ve often thought about that myself frugal. But can you imagine the uproar in our country if the government ever decided to do that? Remember the paranoia a few years ago about the NAFTA super highway and the myth of the US, Canada and Mexico becoming the North American Union and changing the currency to the Amero…?

        • If countries were allowed to simply wipe out their debt, then the mega-rich who hold that debt would be wiped out. They ain’t gonna let that happen. No. Instead they will insist the standard of living of the whole world decline to pay off the debts – the debts they themselves created, thanks to de-regulation and free trade agreements and wars for profit.

        • …why doesn’t each government … simply issue enough new currency to wipe out all the debt?

          I think that’s already been tried, at least a few times. The failure up to now has been to do it too rapidly, and not let the economy gradually adjust. But, in order for it to work, the currency must be devalued faster than the increase of the debt amount, plus the interest. We actually have been doing this, as The Fed has printed more money, but because the new money hasn’t reached circulation, instead being used to buy US Treasuries, we haven’t seen the inflation normally associated with this practice.

          • …why doesn’t each government … simply issue enough new currency to wipe out all the debt?…

            Isn’t that why the Bush Administration worked so hard to devalue the dollar?
            In the 80’s America was the ones that held alot of the world’s debt. And people complained. Now people complain that we are the biggest debtors. I guess you can’t please anyone ever.

            • …why doesn’t each government … simply issue enough new currency to wipe out all the debt?…

              Printing currency – apart from the obvious advantage of giving most of the Ayn Rand faithful an apoplectic stroke…. printing money or debasing the currency is indeed an ancient and well-repeated common tactic of Kings past and present. It is a way of transferring wealth from the plebs to the King, allowing him to by stealth repudiate or default on his obligations and let you pick up the tab. So in this case, Ron Paul has a point to make – currency debasement is a tool of dictatorships and unrepresentative governments.

              OK, now let’s get to practicality.

              Metal currency came into being to provide an easy way for people to trade without having to lug their 3 camels about to trade for 5 pigs and a goat everytime they went out.

              Paper certificates or promisory notes came into being because even carrying large amounts of coins about became a pain and there was always Los Banditos in the hills to contend with.

              We now have even eschewed paper and now just use a bunhc of 1s and 0s stored on computerss to represent how far up ‘the leader board’ we are.

              Money is a con trick now – if all us stopped believing in the ‘leader board’ overnight, the whole thing would come crashing down and we’d be back to camels and goats.

              I’m going to take it further – since money is no longer linked to any physical commodity like a metal, what is it linked to? Don’t think too hard about it…. and don’t think about it at the same time….. my camel is named Elvis by the way and I don’t plan on trading him in… yet.

            • since money is no longer linked to any physical commodity like a metal, what is it linked to?

              That’s my point. Money is, for all practical purposes, an undefined entity. Some define it as the “medium of exchange,” but if that’s the case it’s still mostly a hollow concept, one that is ether based at best.

              Here’s my proposal for Uncle Sam: pay off the $14 trillion in debt tomorrow morning, then, after all the wingnut apoplexy-induced suicides and exploded heads have been swept up and hosed away, carry on as if nothing happened. Because really, nothing DID happen other than a slight modification of the rules of the con game. No big deal.

              I’ll still be poor. Hopefully the Kochsuckers will be poor too (but they probably won’t, they’ll probably remain untouched. Too bad, but we all know how that shit works).

    • The hijinx on Wall Street remind me of the problems decried when professional gamblers mess with sports games. How betting for or against the point spread can be influenced by fairly minor actions by a few players. The same crap is being pulled on Wall Street on a daily basis and it is called business as usual.

      The idea that the US and world economies are based on the actions of a bunch of gambling addicts is very unsettling.

    • Those are nice; the light brings back friendly recollections of fall in MN. Too bad, though, that you weren’t set up that night in summer of 1995 in the parking lot of a Super 8 Motel in Eden Prairie. Could’ve maybe snagged a shot or two of the crooks that busted out a window in my van and stole my (very large) cell phone!

    • Sweet Jesus! Literally! It is so hard to figure out how Republicans, Wall Street criminals and most conserva-clowns claim to follow his teachings.

    • I wonder if the rednecks would get me if I had this made into a T-shirt. It’s too big for a bumper sticker and besides, I really like my truck.

    • I love it. Too bad it doesn’t include a reference to throwing the money lenders out of the temple. Maybe they could make a series?

  4. I remember visiting Monte Rio once, what a lovely place to be sullied by the Sarah Slime!
    Glad this is parody, but probably isn’t too far from what the Teabagging snotbrains would like to do.

  5. On The View yesterday, Herman Cain flat out declared that homosexuality “is a choice.”

    That alone should disqualify him from getting elected to anything.

  6. I don’t have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies of the Obama administration. Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself! […] It is not someone’s fault if they succeeded, it is someone’s fault if they failed.

    — Herman Cain HT: TP

    You know. If someone starts with “I don’t have facts to back this up,” it’s wise to ignore the rest of what they’re saying.

      • Questions you’ll never hear Wolf Blotzer ask Herman Cain:

        “Mr Cain, do you think that the ‘Right of Return’ in the Israeli question is to allow Hasidic Jews to return their non-Kosher ham Hawaiian pizzas without penalty?”

  7. Quote of the Day:

    “Well, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, I agree, I agree. Some people are really upset.” – Michele Bachmann, in response to the question “when will we impeach Obama and get him out of the way?”

    • Well I would say ‘for what?’, but well, extra-judicial killing of US citizens… yup, go for it Batshit.

      I just scanned the US Constiution and no less than 3 times do the word ‘Bill of Attainder’ come up.

    • Good luck with that BatshitBacchanalia. The House has to pass charges and the Senate has to try and convict.
      Maybe you should just go away…. Oh, right, that’s gonna happen anyway when your presidential bid finally collapses in a dust heap and your House seat goes to a Democrat in 2012.

  8. Is it just me or does it seem that the Republicans truly believe that anyone or thing not Republican has declared war on America? That in less than 3 years the rest of Americans, the rest of the world and probably the rest of the universe have undermined and destroyed everything Republibaggers stand for and they are the last holy resort and defense?

    How do those people survive without mass quantities of anti-anxiety medication?

  9. So, a 96 year old woman in Chattanooga has been denied voting rights for not having her marriage certificate. Well, I have it on good authority she is really a communist sleeper agent who was infiltrated into the US through Hawaii in July of 1961 so she could put the birth announcement in the newspaper. For that she was given super secret false papers and now heads a leftist cabal of elderly illegals being snuck into the country to drain Social Security!

  10. I know this post was tongue-in-cheek (and funny), but keep in mind that any effort to amend the Constitution that rubs the right wing the wrong way can easily be defeated by them. Phyllis Schlafly (basically) single-handedly stopped the Equal Rights Amendment from being ratified by getting just thirteen states to vote it down. Of course, she did this the way the right wing always does public policy – she lied her ass off and said it would lead to all kinds of bullshit.

    In order to put an end to Corporate Personhood, it almost certainly must be done through a Constitutional Amendment. And with the Koch Bros (and their rich ilk) and ALEC working with the Red States, they can very likely get it blocked.

    They don’t need 38 states to get their way, they are doing fine as things are now. They just need 13 states to stop us from stopping them. And that is why we have to make the tax cuts permanent! No, wait, that’s not it. Sorry, I heard that so much last decade it became reflexive. No, that’s why we must turn as many states Blue as we can and stop the Republicans before they really destroy this country.

    Put this on your bumper: When Republicans win, America loses.

  11. Chris Christie has apparently stepped down, ‘that final time, without the weariness’ from even entering the presidential race. Woe on the GOP, now stuck with the most unimpressive bevy of losers in modern history.

    Chris Christie: what’s his appeal? Is it that when he speaks, and when he acts, he reminds of a Mafia Don, or maybe a character on The Sopranos? What’s his appeal to anyone who doesn’t cook with lard?

    Just askin’.

  12. Good afternoon, good people.

    I’m just checking in for a moment before going back out to enjoy another glorious fall day here on the frozen tundra. The leaves are spectacular, there’s not a cloud in the sky, and it’s 85 degrees! It just doesn’t get much better than this.

  13. Here’s a frightening tale by Greg Palast at, one which could well be titled The Death of a Nation because it vividly illustrates the dilemma America finds herself in as the billionaires attempt their national take over. I don’t know the solution, but I do wish I had a half-dozen or more drones at my disposal.

    Uber-Vultures: The Billionaires Who Would Pick Our President

    The untold story of the sources of the loot controlled by Paul “The Vulture” Singer, Ken Langone and the Kochs – and why they need to buy the White House.

  14. Crazy Shelie — Wrong on Several Levels — Quote of the Day:

    “Someone told me that last year that North Dakota was the only nation that actually was running a surplus. And it’s because they’re utilizing their natural energy resources,” Bachmann said.

    • I can’t help but wonder if the reason no one in this woman’s has stepped forward and asked for a medical intervention is that they are paying her back for all the years they had to put up with her in private.

      • Marcus is squirrelier than Batscat – neither, and by extension probably the ‘kids’, live in reality – well not on this earth anyway.

      • Ronnie Raygun made it very hard to commit anyone against their will. She would have to assault someone or be found wandering the streets in a delirious condition to so much as have a shrink visit her. I do find it very amusing that her hubby claims to be a mental health worker. If either of them wandered into a psych ward they would probably end up strapped to the floor with a Thorazine IV in their arms.

        The poor kids are either as nuts as she is or just plain terrified of doing/saying anything that contradicts the voices in her head. My guess is that their upbringing included a lot of hours locked in a dark closet while their parents tried to exorcise the demons that made them defy said parents.

  15. Rep. Cliff Stearns admitted Wednesday he’s been mistakenly accusing the White House and Democrats of undermining his investigation into Solyndra by withholding a cache of emails from him over the weekend.

    ..Moira Mack, an OMB spokesman, said her office delivered 685 pages of documents to both Democratic and Republican committee staff on Friday evening. A Democrat familiar with the documents said a separate 27-page delivery from the White House itself happened around the same time.

  16. Oh noes!

    “After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.

    I guess the “give me money and maybe I’ll run” contributions have dried up. And I’m quite sure she won’t be giving any of it back.

    Her “conservative” platitudes that follow can have only one response: “Hey Sarah! FUCK YOU!”

  17. I guess her daily ritual of reading the chunks of grey matter left on her pillow every morning finally made it clear; “I need to come up with a new con.” I wish her well.

    • I have seen one estimate putting it at around 5m votes that might be excluded by this practice …. guess which 5m?

    • We haven’t even scratched the surface of the voter suppression going on. The worst of it will occur at the polls in places where all the poll workers are Reichwhiners and will simply make up some shit to turn people away. Many of those people will have neither the courage nor knowledge to fight it or even report it. And, if they do stand up for their rights, a few Koch lawyers should make the stories go away without notice.

      • Here’s the rules in Pennsylvania…. all voters need an ID of some sort to register to vote. Usually it is a drivers license or an ID that looks like a drivers license issued by the state. All registrations must be at the voters registration office at least 30 days BEFORE any election. There is no early voting and we cannot register on election day. If it is the first time that we vote at a precinct, we must show a valid ID as defined by the state. Before we can vote, we must sign a book and after that, all further elections we only need the signature. THERE IS NO EARLY VOTING, yet OBAMA won and Bob Casey Jr. kicked out Rick Santorum. So don’t give up hope. Just because there is no same day registration and no early voting it doesn’t mean a catastrophe for Democrats. We just need to work a bit harder to GOTV. We can do it, yes WE CAN.

        • Here in AZ, we have had voter ID since the early 2000’s on the premise of preventing illegal aliens from voting. Recently, they changed voting away from your neighborhood precincts’ church or school to “voting centers” — they are open for 3 days in “centralized locations” to accommodate people’s schedules and supposedly save money. They print your ballot right in front of you.

          I do worry that people that don’t have transportation in the poorer parts of Arizona won’t make the trek to these “centralized locations” because they aren’t in their neighborhood. Can you imagine a single poor mother getting on a bus with her kids to go to a voting center to vote?

          I can’t.

          • wayne a schneider wrote:
            [He was perfectly understandable to us, but we know people who sound like that. We don;t have quite as thick a New York accent, but we can start sounding a little like that when we start talking excitedly. Just wonderin’. 🙂
            on the New Yawk accent subject: I am very fond of Bernie Sanders and what he stands for. however, it IS difficult to get past that HEAVY New Yawk accent. Wonder how long he has been in VT? hey, just sayin 🙂

  18. In a mere 24 hours, the GOP loses both Christie and Palin, leaving them with Romney, Cain, Perry, Sanitorium, Bachmann, Paul, Johnson, and Huntsman — the worst list of candidates in the history of the Republic.


    I’m hoping to soon read all the gory details concerning a mass suicide on the part of Republican voters nationwide. Fingers crossed as I wait.

    • I met Steve twice back when I was making gaskets and other plastic products. We supplied a few thousand miles of “wrapped foam” for Apple computers. Every so often one meets a true genius, too damned special to ever really fit into society’s molds, and he was among them.

  19. I just want to say, that as a Registered Nurse, I stand with all the nurses that Occupy Wall Street. People just don’t know how really bad our health care system is. My business is as a Nurse/Massage Therapist/Hypnotist and you would be amazed at the health care problems that walk through my door. Yet, I can’t charge Medicare/Medicaid or insurance for the healing work that I give to my clients. Instead, the drug companies and the health insurance companies steal money from people all the time. It sucks. People benefit from the work that I do yet I am a nobody in the health care system. Nurse Midwives were once considered unprofessional and that has changed. If nurse practitioners are given their proper and earned place in health care, that would reduce cost while providing good health care. Doctors are trained in the disease model whereas nurses are trained in the provide health care model. Until the day I die, i will always stand up for nurses.

    This is the end of my wine rant. 🙂

  20. The only positive about Steve Jobs’ death is that it knocked the Wasilla Diva off the news cycle.

    The man was another Ford, Edison, Disney.

  21. be still my heart……. ..didn’t get a chance to read much of the new constitution this AM. now, after reading it hey it COULD actually be true.
    just saw that the princess Palin is not going to run for president! Gee, too bad!

  22. Lawrence O’Donnell is devoting his entire hour to Steve Jobs. Keith is covering the protests on Wall Street where there have been more arrests and pepper spraying.

  23. This from my sister-in-law:

    If you’ve never listened to Steve Jobs’ commencement address to Stanford grads a few years back it is worth listening to. It impacted me greatly and was one of the reasons I followed my dreams and left Apple (a company i LOVED) for a career teaching little kids( which I love even more). Thanks Steve. Rest in peace!

    Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

  24. What a strange day in American history. Today, we lost one of the very best in American history, a genius and entrepreneur, an inspiration for countless of us who has changed the very fabric of our lives. And we also saw the end of the road for one of the very worst: a nasty, callow, delusional, vicious know-nothing, brewed in resentment, and whose accomplishments could fit on a postage stamp.

    It’s a fitting comparison: achievement versus resentment, creativity versus narcissism, hope versus fear. I know which one will get the bigger headlines tomorrow.

  25. Just out of curiosity, did anyone who watched Keith Olbermann tonight have any trouble understanding the union president, John Samuelson? He was perfectly understandable to us, but we know people who sound like that. We don;t have quite as thick a New York accent, but we can start sounding a little like that when we start talking excitedly. Just wonderin’. 🙂

    • I watched, and I didn’t have a problem understanding him. I did notice his accent at times sounded Scandinavian in his pronunciation, which I thought was kind of cool, like he was raised around grandparents with a similar accent.
      Supposedly, your palate is fully formed by about the age of four, and that affects your speech your whole life.

  26. Showering is now required as I went over to the dark side – from Palins FaceBook page.

    I don’t see how Sarah will influence or change anything from the sidelines. The decisions are made in Washington not on Facebook. I think I just fell for the shell game.


    I can’t describe how sad I am right now. The brightest star our country has had in a very long time will not be shining in our nations capitol. America is going to be the biggest looser here. Our country and my state of California will not recover unless we encourage more Sarah Palin’s to step forward. I feel a similar pain in my stomach as when Obama was elected. God Bless Sarah Palin and God Bless America.


    Last one and then i’m done supporting you for good. Seems like you sold that servants heart on e-bay. Thanks for the betrayal Governor.

  27. Rachael spoke at length about TP opposition to Mittens, the probable GOP candidate for President, and the possibility of the TP putting forth a 3rd party candidate.

    Rachael closed the segment pointing out the Sarah said she was not seeking the “GOP” candidacy.

    Stock up on popcorn!

  28. I know it’s been mentioned, but I wanted to add my thoughts on Steve Jobs. I found out at a class I’m taking in the evenings. Most of us hadn’t heard yet (going straight to class from work) and there was a collective stunned reaction.

    Steve Jobs truly changed the way we do things.

  29. Well? It’s been a fantastic day despite some sad news. We topped out at 87 degrees, are still at 72, and heading for 80+ again tomorrow. Knowing what’s comming I always enjoy warm weather this time of year although I should be shopping for a new winter coat and just can’t do it when people are wearing shorts.

    Let’s hope that Bible Spice will soon settle into a much-deserved obscurity. I hear that Batscat Bachmann is low on campaign staff so maybe she’ll offer Palin a job. I think that she can still do more damage to the GOP brand.

    G’night, good people.

      • Three known people, all in their own way, added to the discussion of being a human being, today, in this world in a positive inspiring way. Thousands of others with no voice just no longer exist. I’m unable to cross that bridge between the known and unknowned. My cynicism leads me to this…..”that the world of the made replaces the world of the born.” ee cummings

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