The Watering Hole: January 3rd, I O Waaaaahhhh

First of all: A Happy New Year to All the Critters, Zoosters and Visitors here. May it turn out well for you.

I am beginning to get the election bug again. I can tell by the number of times I check in to the website. They may be leaning a little to the right, but I prefer it to getting a little over enthusiastic about President Obama’s prospects.

For today’s IOWAcaucus the polls stand at:

Romney 22.8
Paul 21.5
Santorum 16.3
Gingrich 13.7
Perry 11.5
Bachmann 6.8
Huntsman 2.3

My five cents? Romney has not managed yet to get any significant lead, though he has spent a lot of money to not thoroughly drop into oblivion in Iowa. Still on a national level Gingrich still leadsย by 27.4 to Romney’s 25.2 with Paul a not so close third at 12.2. Not a really good return on investment from Romney’s side up to now. He is the unwanted frontrunner. The only worse is Perry, who is obviously too thick to get God’s message to muster some self respect and get the fuck out of the race.

In 2008 Huckabee won Iowa and McCain came in only fourth, so winning there doesn’t necessarily make you the inevitable candidate. But somehow it rang in the short but very upsetting stint of one Alaskan, done to get support from the increasingly demanding right wing base. Noteworthy: Romney came in 2nd and held more support (2008: 25%) than he does today.

Personally I do not count Santorum out for the Iowa caucus. His win would be a harbinger of a new rise of the right wingers inside the right wing and as I expect there is some kind of uncivil war going on in the GOP between the Tea Party leftovers and the GOP establishment, Iowa will have a huge impact on the eventual platform of the candidate.

I go even further. The decision whether your country and its form of government will stand or whether parliamentary oligarchy will be your future is starting tonight in Iowa.

As an afterthought here’s our very own poll:

This is our Daily Open Thread. Let us know your thoughts.


515 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: January 3rd, I O Waaaaahhhh

  1. Hi EV. Love that photo.

    As for Iowa, the key point from above was about how Iowa results in the past GOP primary had little to do with the ultimate outcome. It would nice if the media would remember this and not declare the winner every 8 seconds based upon the latest polling.

    • Hi zxbe, they have pronounced winners and losers throughout all of the pre pre pre election season. Anybody remembering Cain? The only consistent thing is the “Not Romney” whisper that seems to permeate all.

      Don’t you think it all started when news channels started to sell ads. Now they have to make their sponsors happy and can only do that by drawing in viewers. So everything has to be a drama and a crisis and historic. Future cultures, if there are any, will laugh themselves silly about us.

  2. The Iowa Squawk-us’s…
    It’s been a sad slog, listening to the corn and poo flinging. All of it aimed at emotional reaction, very little rational or realistic discourse.
    I seem to hear them all telling us “America wants this” and “America wants that”, and no one asking Americans “What do you (we) want?”
    After all, they are supposed to be running for the office of an elected representative of the people, no?
    (I know, I’m a dreamer…)

  3. Romney 22.8
    Paul 21.5
    Santorum 16.3
    Gingrich 13.7
    Perry 11.5
    Bachmann 6.8
    Huntsman 2.3

    Every time I see or ponder that list I’m reminded of only one thing: cartoonist Al Capp’s line from, I think, 1972, which he spoke to Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show:

    “What I want to know is, where were the liberal abortion laws when we really needed them?”

  4. Barney Frank offered a slogan/bumpersticker for Democrats:
    We’re Not Perfect, But They’re Nuts!

  5. As I think about the spate of election commercials headed our way, I can only think: “Which of those Republican Candidates go better with Coke?”

  6. Iowa will certainly give one of the clowns in the car a bump up, but they aren’t very representative of the nation. Unemployment is way lower, agribusiness is good for them (they are brainwashed to think), ergo, I hope Sanctorump wins and throws the game back into the shitter which it belongs, with N.H. and S.C. having different winners and the clown car lurches forward, into the ditch.

  7. WTF? It’s starting to sound like the GOoPers in Virginia don’t want ANYONE to vote. I can tell you that, if someone demanded that I sign a pledge in order to cast my vote, there would be a grave risk of violence. And how are they going to enforce said pledge? Will the pledge signers just have their votes automatically cast for the GOP nominee?

    • Be a perfect opportunity for people to waltz up, sign and vote. No matter what their political ideology or preference. Since votes are done in private, they poor slobberers would have no way of knowing who was voted for but it could wreak all sorts of fun havoc on their primary.

      This is like signing a virginity pledge, what are they going to do if you break it? Shake their finger at you?

      • >This is like signing a virginity pledge, what are they going to do if you break it? Shake their finger at you?<

        Hmmm….. Virginity…..Breaking…. finger…. shaking…. there's a joke in there somewhere…

    • It’s unenforceable. I’ve signed ’em in the past and never had any intention of keeping it. A promise extorted from me means nothing to me. I am also, bizarrely, still a registered republican. I just have to hide my bumper stickers when I attend the mass meetings.

  8. I don’t know if can suffer through the weapons-grade stupidity of all things Iowa any longer.

  9. “Essentially, the whole nation is now forced to wait to see what the shit kickers of Iowa have to say. It’s like everyone gathering around the Thanksgiving table and when stroke-victim Grandma starts to slurringly, slurpingly speak, the rest of the family grows silent to hear what she thinks of the meal. And if you agree with Grandma just because she’s Grandma, goddamnit, then the Iowa caucus might be meaningful to you. But if you nod and smile and say, “That’s fine, Grandma. Pass the gravy,” then you are ready to grow up.”

    – Rudepundit on the last Iowa caucus in 2008

  10. “So, once you subtract the breathless rhetoric about “surge” and “momentum” and (oh, Lord) “electability,” it’s finally admitted that the rest of the United States is a passive spectator while about half of 45 percent of 85,000 or so Republican caucus voters promote a provincial ignoramus and anti-Darwinian to the coveted status of “front-runner” or at least “contender.”

    – the late Christopher Hitchens back in 2008
    ( I note the casual call out to the ‘Lord’ in his quote – as I noted to SammytheTurtle to her considerable amusement the other week – “Yes, I find the Christmas season makes me more religious – it often finds me invoking the name of the Lord for example, usually with an extra middle initial and usually while putting up or taking down the outdoor lights.”)

    • I’m amazed that Santorum thinks that states can outlaw contraception. What knowing woman would vote to have her contraceptive pills outlawed?

        • Not being able to space children and determine the size of one’s own family kills too. But they don’t mention that.

          Women in other parts of the world (India, for example) are dying because they don’t have the ability to space their children far enough apart to care for them, women die in child birth at significant rates not being more than children themselves and infant mortality increases with multiple unplanned pregnancies.

          That website makes me so mad how dare they lie and scare women to get them to comply with “God’s Law.”

          • If we scratch the surface, I think we’d find that many of these woman are on birth control of some sort. Just as women on the picket lines in front of abortion clinics have had abortions.

          • Neuter the fucker. Neuter all the white males that want to ban birth control. Perhaps then we won’t have much need to even make a choice.
            That asshole really needs to reread Griswold v CT. and then shove it up his cuolo.

  11. (dedicated to Shayne)

    Happy New, by Shel Silverstein

    Joe yelled, โ€œHappy New Year.โ€
    The cow yelled, โ€œHappy Moo Year.โ€
    The ghost yelled, โ€œHappy Boo Year.โ€
    The doctor yelled, โ€œHappy Flu Year.โ€
    The penguin sneezed, โ€œHappy Ah-choo Year.โ€
    The skunk yelled, โ€œHappy Pee-yoo Year.โ€
    The owl hooted, โ€œHappy Too-woo Year.โ€
    The cowboy yelled, โ€œHappy Yahoo Year.โ€
    The trainman yelled, โ€œHappy Choo-choo year.โ€
    The clock man yelled, โ€œHappy Cuckoo Year.โ€
    The barefoot man yelled, โ€œHappy Shoe Year.โ€
    The hungry man said, โ€œHappy Chew Year.โ€
    There were more โ€œHappy Ooo-Yearsโ€
    Than you ever heard
    At our New Yearโ€™s partyโ€ฆ
    Last June twenty-third.

    • The newsies were shocked. What? You called Romney a liar on teevee? You can’t do that, even if it’s true and blatantly obvious. You can, apparently, call Leslie Stahl a liar, particularly when she’s telling the truth about Ronnie.

    • Reactionaries are GOP. Santorum definitely should run on that one, though. It’s bound to appeal to independent voters, women, men . . . anyone but fanatics like him that hate sex.

      • It minds me of my thoughts on the ZPG movement. The people who are intelligent enough to know that breeding like rabbits is not a sustainable thing are the last people who should be abstaining. The reactionary Right holds that its only possible salvation is through breeding.

        • Good point. They have a divine mission to procreate lots of white babies so the country isn’t overrun by darkies.

          I am a little surprised that Santorum isn’t also seeking a program to sterilize Black people, all of whom are on welfare.

          • Santorum needs to be the first in line. Once he removes the shit coming out of both ends.

      • If he hates sex so much, why does he have so many kids? It’s clear that he hates contraception though.

        Also, I never worried that the Catholic Church would be able to dictate American policy, but if Santorum were elected, I certainly would worry about that.

    • Awesome, they’ll be stopping us at the Alabama State line:

      “So is this here contraband pack of Trojans for personal use only, boy?”

    • I think that Ricky just never mastered the art of putting a condom on a cucumber, so he doesn’t think others should be able to do it.

      • I suspect any personal experience Ricky may have is more akin to putting a condom on a pencil.

        • I was thinking more like an eraser, one of those skinny limp ones that need a holder?

  12. More gems from Batshit:

    Every recent poll has Bachmann in last place heading into the caucuses, a far cry from her summer win in a state GOP straw poll. But top campaign advisers vowed she would prove the recent surveys wrong by activating a support network built through her visits to small towns and churches in every corner of Iowa.

    She said she is banking on “silent support” not detected in polling. Bachmann has touted her backing by more than 200 pastors, many of whom she believes will turn out their entire congregations on her behalf.

    • What is it about her simple message that gets some folks in such a tizzy?

      I think it’s something like this: “Who does that uppity black woman think she is, telling us what to do?”

      Probably not in such nice language…

    • A person could maybe believe that not all opposition to Obama is rooted in racism, after all presidents do things that some folks are opposed to. I firmly believe that the insults flung at a classy lady who has done nothing more controversial than suggest we eat better and exercise more are all rooted in racism.

    • I was wondering when someone would notice that Newt insulted his own kind with that quip. I would also be willing to bet that someone will dig up a quote from the captain of the swift boat (I love that one) gushing about how much he loves Newt.

  13. In High School, I was smitten by the daughter of a Wesleyan minister. Dating was difficult. At one point, when I picked her up to go roller skating I over heard her mother say to her…”But he’s a Catholic!” in a quiet venomous voice. I had to chuckle because the Catholics had thrown me out several years before but according to today’s meme I should have stepped in and said, “Yeah, but I’m not a Mormon.”

    • Somebody, actually quite a few somebodies, need to go to jail – 11 people died and a bunch of f**king suits are jerking each other off with their court filings…

  14. via LGF

    Pat Robertson: God Told Me Who the Next President Will Be, But I Canโ€™t Tell You

    Charles Johnson

    WINGNUTS โ€ข Tue Jan 3, 2012 at 11:34 am PST โ€ข

    Religious right crocodile Pat Robertson said on his TV show โ€œThe 700 Clubโ€ that God told him who the next president will be.

    But heโ€™s โ€œnot supposed to talk about it.โ€

    God did give old Pat permission, though, to let the world know that Heโ€™s not a fan of Barack Obama.

    • Sickening. Israel has no compassion.
      They’ve learned well from the U.S. that greed wills out every time!

    • And did you read as far as when yer man says ‘Gott mit uns’ – just like the old Wehrmacht motto?

      ‘Gott mit uns’ so we can f***k over anyone we like.

    • Batscat’s only redeeming feature was that she, at least, didn’t parade her kids around for political gain. For some reason, I’m not surprised that she flushed that down the crapper.

        • I have a little banner from years ago that always hung over the wash machine. It said, “Normal is just a cycle on your wash machine.” When I replaced my wash machine a while back I noticed it isn’t even that.

        • Good question. There is not one “Normal” candidate for the GOP nomination so in stands to argue that none of the children of any candidate are “Normal”. The Birchers, the Evangelicals, the Tea Partiers all have a definition of “Normal” that excludes anyone that doesn’t “believe” the same shit that they do. It’s the same “Normal” you find in countries that these people view as “enemies”.

  15. Holy crap! Faux”News” trotted out the Reverand “Mormonism is a cult” Jeffers again. He claims that President Obama is “pro abortion” and secretly working “behind the scenes” to legalize gay marriage. I also noticed that they didn’t ask him if he would endorse Newt if he’s the nominee. My guess is that steam would shoot out of his ears, if his head didn’t explode, as he tries to make a case that Newt is more moral than Obama.

  16. Has TPM turned off commenting completely? I realize it has not been available – figuring it was suspended for the holiday, yet figured it would resume..
    (I don’t see the issue addressed anywhere on their site)

    • It would be nice if they made an announcement, wouldn’t it? Initially, it was just Ron Paul threads but now it’s completely disabled, which pisses me off.

  17. Speaking of Batscat…

    In this clip she speaks to a bunch of kids about the precise moment she went stark, raving, mad and started hearing the voices in her head. It also forces a comparison between these poor, indoctrinated, kids and my own agnostic upbringing. I think I was 10 when I asked my dad why we didn’t go to church and he said. “because your mother and I decided to never lie to our kids”. Then, when I was 13, my parents bought me a Bible for Christmas (it wasn’t my only gift) because they thought I was old enough to understand what all the fuss was about. I finished the whole thing, despite skipping a few-dozen “begats”, but it only took a couple paragraphs to realize it was a bunch of hooey.

    • I was also struck by the number of crosses in this church. How many ancient torture devices do these people need to feel safe?

    • A new answer next time I see a “Jesus is _____” bumper sticker at the store….

      “… a bunch of hooey”

      I might need to use small letters. Might not replace the current favourite answer:

      “Jesus is ____ Spongebob “

    • She woke early every morning to read the Bible but somehow missed the Gospels entirely. How else to explain her religion of hate?

  18. I was shocked to discover I was in a meeting of coworkers who had never even heard of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or his noodly appendage. WTF? Not surprisingly, none of them knew about Ceiling Cat either.

    Very sad.

  19. I think Pat Robertson’s conversation with God might be a little confused. On one hand, he says that God doesn’t like Obama because he’s, well, he’s a commie. And because of Obama, the country is going to collapse–except if we all go out and pray like crazy. Because if we pay like crazy, God might change his mind and save us. Or something.

  20. I’m watching Cenk, Jenny and Al, waiting for some numbers to start coming in. ๐Ÿ˜€

  21. Speaker for Mitt Romney going on about Mitt’s jobs program.

    She skipped the part about Mitt getting rid of jobs in the US and sending them to India, China, etc.

    It sounds like this speech was written by Mitt’s campaign.

  22. True believer for Santorum.

    Rigid traditionalist, this one. Life, family, biblical values, blah blah blah…moral code that constrains the passions!!

    I really hate these people. Follow your values — knock yourselves out! Leave me to my own values.

  23. Remember that the voters here are primarily myopic rural pudgy white people surrounded by thousands of acres of genetically modified corn.

  24. I can’t listen to this anymore. I’ll just watch the results come in.

    I did the Democratic caucus in Idaho in 2008. The speeches were positive and hopeful, no matter the candidate, and when someone came over to try to get me to change my mind (I was in Obama’s group), it was respectful. We had fun!

    These Iowa speeches in the caucus are negative and hateful. I don’t know how they can stand to be around themselves, let alone each other.

  25. Tweet of the evening:

    “Entrance polls indicate that 27% of Tea Partiers think they’re in line for a showing of MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL” — Alex Pareene

      • Michelle: “God! You told me to run for president, and I’m not winning!”
        God: “I didn’t say whether you were going to be successful or not…”
        Michelle: “But why, God, why?”
        God “You didn’t ask me why either…. lol…”

    • He just nosed out Ricky “The Rooster”. Perry is picking up some votes from some ignorant Repubs. If I lived in Iowa, I would have registered today as a Repub and voted for Ricky “The Rooster”, just for the fun of it.

  26. There not a chance in mythical hell that I would watch any show regarding the GOP tripping over themselves to out stupid each other.

    The Zoo commentary on the other hand….

  27. OMG – Romney just took the lead, followed by Ricky, then Paul. There is a Santorum for President sign in the town near where I live and every time I drive past it, I have to laugh.

  28. Now there is only 49 votes separating the top three!!!! They just can’t decide who to believe.

  29. Mittens in first place!

    Then Santorum (mind the mess), then Ron Paul.

    About 47 votes separates Mittens and Paul. Santorum in the middle.


  30. Iowa has 99 counties! 99 – in a 56,276 sq. miles area.
    California has 58 counties in a 163,700 sq. miles area

    Huntsman has 169 votes!

    • I bet she’ll hold on until NH, trying to save face, or hoping God missed her fervent prayers.

      Poor pete, he’s hoping she’ll have to give up her House seat. That ain’t happening.

  31. It’s apparent Michele misinterpreted what god had whispered in her ear rattled off in her head.

    Neut must be beside himself wondering where all the love has gone. He’s such a big damn baby.

  32. Tweet of the minute:

    “Mitt Romney must be thrilled; he’s in a tie with a lawn gnome and a guy who opposes man-on-dog marriage.” — Andy Borowitz

  33. Did I miss anything important today?

    BTW, there’s a ZEBRA on the private thread.

  34. Romney just pushed Ricky’s legs together. Looks like the Mittens is back in the lead. I wonder how much he had to pay people to vote for him. Just asking.

    • I confess I don’t take Iowa seriously, never have.
      Is a vote per person or a collective vote from a group?

    • And to think that Ricky went door to door throughout the farmland. He has spent the last year campaigning mostly by himself. I’m no fan of Ricky’s but I must admit that he had a lot of soul to campaign like that. At least with Ricky, you know where he stands on issues and I respect him for that. I don’t agree with him. If it’s Tuesday, then Romney is for it. Any other day, Romney is against it but then again, he just might be for it. That’s not leadership.

      • Excellent point, Cats.

        Santorum is bug fuck insane, but he’s consistent about it.

        Romney just blows…with the wind.

    • It was her chance to say that God was a piece of sh*t for telling her run to and then giving her the finger tonight…. I’d have paid to see her go postal on God….. but she didn’t

        • You didn’t miss anything, but the wags on CNN were wondering why she went from straw poll winner (she bought everyone BBQ or something right) to a total zero (because she’s too whacked out even for the loonies out in the cornfields).

          Batshit spoke like she was keeping going….

    • “I appreciate all you jocks and will pray that your donations do not leave you strapped.”

    • When I hover over each county, it shows the stats for that county and there are several that have not completed their reporting and these are mostly leaning toward Ricky.

  35. Iowa can really pick ’em.This is all because they really really want to beat Obama and they wanted someone electable.


    • “Er ah’d lark to congratulate Governor Cultist on his faahn performance too-nite and also to former Senator Sanitation on his come-from-behind surging and also I’d like to congratulate… er… er… who’s the third one again?”

  36. It’s midnight at the Alberta cold oasis in Pennsylvanian and as Popeye would say, “I can’t stands no more” so I’m off to bed. I can assure you that I won’t be dreaming about the Iowa caucus. Hey, surprise me in the morning. Night all.

      • Oh, so that’s why I feel like we are dragging a ball and chain around.

        I did get some good news, though. I live in a newly created 9th US congressional district and a very progressive state senator has resigned her seat so she can run for the new Congressional seat. She’ll have a tough fight, but it would be so sweet to have her as my representative.

        And with the new districts, my old rep and Dan Quayle’s son, BEn will have to duke it out in their new district.


        • I’m going on what I witnessed in the mid ’80’s in north eastern AZ. I can’t imagine they would have any less influence these days.

  37. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich is frantically trying to pick up some staffer who is young and pretty enough to get him elected…

    • In China by poisoned cat meat they might have meant tiger. They have a show on Current about it.

    • Obama is from Hawaii, which is not even part of the 48. This disturbs the hell out of anyone from Texas.

      • Trisomy 18 is not a pleasant thing — severe physical and mental disabilities. I have to wonder about their compassion insisting on the dignity of every human life.

        • I didn’t know what her disability was until now. Truly awful.

          My point is that parents of disabled children do what they need to do for their children, not because they are heroes — like Santorum implied about himself and his wife — but because that’s what parents do.

          • Then he’s extraordinarily fortunate to have good health insurance for his family.
            Why would he take that away from/not allow others to have the same?
            Never mind – he’s a useless piece of gum.

  38. Tomorrow’s media headline blabber:
    “Stunning Upsets!”
    “Tremendous Turnarounds!”
    “Devastating Downturns!”
    “Scintillating Surge!”


    • Sanitation is a sanctimonious ass!

      Neuter was brought down a peg or two by tonight’s drubbing!

  39. I actually expected Ron Paul to pull this one off, since he had sent his evil minions all over the state. Well he’s fucked, since this was the only state he might have pulled. Santorum is fucked because he has no supporters anywhere else (except may be SC) and he has no money. Bachmann is fucked because this was supposed to be her strong showing and she stunk up the place. Huntsman is, well, right where we would expect him to be.

    Gingrich will be whinging about this for weeks because he’s thoroughly fucked. I would expect Perry to bail while he still retains any shreds of dignity.

    And all this because the media and other idiots think the Iowa caucuses mean anything more than a weak fart in a strong wind. Brrrap. Sorry. Much too intense for Iowa.


  40. My prayers have been answered. Thank you Allah, the Ducks won, and now Ricky Dick Sanitariam. Life is good.

  41. If I recall correctly, both Bachmann and Perry were told by God to run. Nice to know God’s got a good sense of humor.

Comments are closed.