The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January 25, 2012: BREAKING GNUS — RNC TO CANCEL REST OF PRIMARIES!

In a stunning move, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus informed the Florida Secretary of State that his party was cancelling the Florida Primary, as well as the rest of the primaries set for later this spring. He held a press conference at 5:a.m. Eastern time to announce his decision.

“I’m glad you all could make it on such short notice” Priebus began, addressing the lone reporter who happened by on his way to a nearby Dunkin Donuts. Priebus continued:

We have three candidates, each of whom has won a primary. But their attacks on each other have been so dead-bang accurate that none of them are electable in a general election. I am therefore suspending the rest of the primary season to prevent the further destruction of the Republican Party.

Right now, the polls show that the only Republican Candidate who does not have a 50% plus disapproval rating from independent voters is Stephen Colbert. While I understand he has dropped out of the race for the President of the United States of South Carolina, it is my hope that I can convince him by the time we have our Convention to toss his hat into the ring for President of the United States of America. He alone can save the Republican Party.

The reporter immediately called Stephen Colbert for his comment on this startling revelation. “F— you, Stewart!” Colbert said, “Do you know what time it is? I am not coordinating with you on my Super PAC!”

Later, Colbert gave a prepared statement, “I am deeply honored by Reince Priebus’ call to serve this great country of ours. But before accepting, I would like to know if I get to choose my running mate, because Jane Fonda is hot. Next, I would like to know if I was elected, could I re-design the Oval Office to have some corners? Because I can think of a few Congressmen I would love to see stand in the corner.”

This be the Daily Open Thread. HAPPY HUMP DAY.


153 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January 25, 2012: BREAKING GNUS — RNC TO CANCEL REST OF PRIMARIES!

    • I like that title – ‘We’re Fighting Over Two Guys and Neither Side Thinks the Other Can Win’. I don’t think either of them can win.
      The question is how many House and Senate seats the Dems can take back so the president can actually do something with those four years.

    • I love this line inside the piece:

      Gingrich supporters understand that the secularists in the media — not the Democrats, but the media to the extent it can be separated from the Obama Machine…

      The piece is written by Erik Erikson. He’s part of the media. Is he also part of the Obama machine?

      It’s amazing to me that they on the right, literally have their own “news” channel, and they keep trotting out that all the rest are officially aligned with the left. They’re not.


    • Oooh, the Obama Machine! Cold chills run down the spines of Wingnuts everywhere at the awesome power that controls all the nation’s media – except those brave heroes at FoxNews.

  1. Darn computer – Shockwave began crashing during the SOTU sddress. I finally gave up trying to watch it after about 15 crashes. Then the computer began crashing while running a scan which led to blue screen errors, whatever they are, and finally a self (computer) initiated checkdsk routine.

    I’ve saved all my files on a flash drive in case of a fatal crash and I’m making sure I have my program disks to re-install everything I’d lose.

    On a bright note, though I’ve never watched a complete Dr. Who episode, because of my participation here, I knew “Tardis” was the answer to the crossword puzzle clue “Dr. Who’s Transport”. That gave me a brief moment of joy and renewed determination to get my computer healthy again.

    • It might be the nasty piece of malware I picked up last year. I ended up paying for Malwarebytes. Not only did it succeed where nothing else had, I got the most amazing tech support ever. Same guy each time and I swear he doesn’t sleep. I had to download and run several utilities, then send him the logfiles to get further instructions. Time-consuming yes, but worth the money and the time.

    • I recently downloaded a Microsoft Update that killed my computer. I had to have the operating system re-installed (I don’t have it on disk, so I had to pay to get it done; but since it was free in the first place, I can’t complain). Also, when I try to install Windows 7 Service Pack 1, it fails every time (besides taking hours to do it.) So I’ve given up on that one.

  2. Morning folks! I thought last night’s SOTU was pretty good in that there were some direct responses to GOP talking points on jobs, income inequality, energy, and such. I especially enjoyed watching Can’tor look like he wanted to chew his thin little weasel lips off as Obama stole some of his own rhetoric and proposed things the GOP could support had they not gone insane. I also liked the ways the prez insisted that America was not in decline and that by working together we could rebuild our infrastructure and economy. This was followed by the Daniels downer guy more or less insisting the country was doomed. Nice contrast. Just my humble, slightly drugged opinion.

  3. Watched a bit of Mike Pence this morning and a question popped up: what’s on the other side of that huge forehead? Anything? Anyone got even a rumor?

        • What’s on the other side of that abnormally bulbous forehead?

          The mind of a serial killer.

      • There’s nothing on the other side of Mitch Daniel’s forehead. The forehead is just a portable drive-in movie theater screen. I hear he’s showing the latest Denzel Washington movie on it next week in an effort to increase his popularity with people who never heard of him, even after seeing him last night.

  4. Whoring for votes. On the one hand, Rmoney launches a commercial in Florida targeted to Hispanic voters to try and convince them that he shares their values. But in another state he boasts about having the endorsement of Kris Kobach, a leader in the anti-Hispanic movement and author of laws like Arizona’s SB 1070.

    • What>? Mittens, playing both sides of the DMZ border with Mexico? Naw, not plausible…


      • When you’re a cardboard cutout, the wind blows you in different directions easily.

  5. Weak-on-defense Obama has pulled off another daring rescue mission, this time against Somali pirates — again.

    He’s such a God damn appeaser.

    • Yeah, but he’s a warmonger donchaknow. Stepped in a comment yesterday about how Obama had gotten us into another war.

      I must have missed the bulletin.

  6. Mitch “Single Most Important Thing” McConnell (R-eptile, KY) – “(Obama’s) goal isn’t to conquer the nation’s problems. It’s to conquer Republicans”

  7. From the Redstate article above…. some of the comments are just … wow….

    but this one caught my eye:

    I think so too; I think Newt is an older wiser and happily married Newt, and that will also help keep him grounded which he is going to have to be in these crazy times. He really is inspiring people and changing minds, He is a brilliant and flawed Winston Churchill sort of candidate, and although I can see why some people can see a disaster in the making, it may also be that no one else can possibly win this election, it is going to be absolutely brutal.

    In what world is Newt a Winston Churchill?

  8. Wow… Haven’t spent much time at redstate in quite awhile. Alternate reality. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth over Rick Perry being gone. It’s weird.

    • It’s almost easy to believe that you’re reading a parody over there. Then it hits you. These people are real, and this is really the way they are. And then it becomes frightening.

  9. J.J. Goldberg is perplexed by the neocon freakout:

    “Worst president Israel has ever faced? Dwight Eisenhower kept aid to a minimum, kept Israel at arms length and forced Israel to give up the ground it won in the 1956 Sinai Campaign without negotiating a quid pro quo. Gerald Ford explicitly blamed Israeli “stalling” for a breakdown in peace talks in 1975—something Obama has never done—and ordered a six-month “reassessment” of Middle East policy, which translated into a suspension of aid and military assistance, until Israel was bludgeoned into submission. George H.W. Bush clashed openly with Israel more frequently and more bitterly than any of his predecessors, to the point where he once called a nationally televised press conference to attack American Jewish volunteer activists who had come to Washington for a day to advocate for Soviet Jewish resettlement assistance.”

    • Pretty much any criticism of Obama by the right is completely without merit and devoid of any factual basis. They simply hate him, and they will say anything to express that hate. And they count on Fox News and right-wing talk radio to keep their uninformed base completely in the dark on the facts.

      • I was able to illustrate to SammytheTurtle *many* instances of rhetorical projection by spending 10mins watching Mitch ‘got nothing here so I’ll just tell porkies’ Daniel.

  10. I guess we’ll have Michele & Marcus Bachman to kick around some more. She’s running and heavily favored.

    • Of course she’s saying she’s running for a 4th term. She really didn’t serve her 3rd term. She ran for president on the taxpayer dime.

    • What’s stunning is that with all that exposure to just how insane the woman is that – there are enough similarly deluded people in her neighbourhood who are saying: “Shelly, she represents my values!”

        • Look on the bright side, at least you know where all the nutters live in the Greater Minneapolis Metroplex….

          • True. And unfortunately only half of them live there. The other half live on the south side in my district. Represented by John Kline. Who is equally as right-wing, but at least he’s not in-your-face-crazy about it.

  11. Swing voters loved the SOTU. That’s Stan Greenberg’s finding from watching 50 of them in a focus group respond to the speech. The Osowatomie strategy seems to be pushing the GOP into a smaller and smaller corner:

    “The dials spiked when the President made his strong populist pitch for the “Buffet Rule,” with Democrats exceeding 80 on our 0-to-100 scale and both independents and Republicans moving above 70. There was no polarization here, as voters across the political spectrum gave Obama high marks. And Obama’s framing of the economic challenges facing the country through the lens of post-World War II America was particularly effective. He also received high marks for his proposal to change the tax code to encourage “insourcing” instead of “outsourcing,” his call to change our “unemployment system” to a “re-employment system” and his appeal to make it easier for entrepreneurs and small business to grow and create jobs.”

    Check the chart out:

    • I heard that part about the ‘re-employmeent system’ – my reaction was ‘So he’s talking about a website redesign in the SOTU? WTF?’

  12. I’m starting to enjoy the Twitter, thanks in no small part to Wayne A Schneider and the Rude Pundit. Now I’m following Elizabeth Warren, but she has yet to follow me. Maybe she’s busy.

  13. Two comments from the RS link that pretty much reveal the details of the wingnut tale of Godless liberals vs. Newt the Magnificent:

    you can argue till you are blue in the face, you can present facts but it doesnt matter to liberals they have a reset button to their brains that just doesnt work. I truly think there is a genetic difference between conservatives and liberals or something deeply psychological. I have tried to find the roots of liberal psyche going back to Rousseau thru industrial revolution—i find only that liberals seem tobelieve in the here and now , in the perfectability of human nature and problems. Their thinking leads them to grandiose plans of re-engineering society acc. to their plans. Lack of faith is at the basis of liberalism i have come to believe.

    I think Newt would do well even in a strong field. He has such an impressive national record, has such bold policy proposals, and is so knowledgable and articulate that he could compete with anyone. In a stronger field, there would at least be a more substantive discussion of the issues though. Mitch Daniels, while I admire his policies, is too timid and inarticulate to win (just watch his jon stewart intvw) Jeb Bush is a Bush, way too soon. Paul Ryan is terrific, but I fear he does not explain complex issues in a succint enough manner. Christie would be good, even though I’ve lost respect for him for caving to establishment. Let’s stick with Newt, he has been running a disciplined campaign and is a brilliant politician and would be a highly effective, conservative president.

    • “impressive national record”? Would that be the part about him leaving the House in disgrace? The $300,000 fine or whatever it was? Or maybe it’s some kind of record in boffing interns while persecuting the president for doing it.

      • He has ‘faith’. He’s been a Lutheran, a Baptist, and a Catholic and had three wives (thus far) so you know … umm … he’s … umm …

        Yeah, well, you know.

        • … trying to find the one true religion? ….thinks that one religion is just about the same as another? Just putting on the religious coat to get some tail?

          I’m betting on the last one.

    • “they have a reset button to their brains that just doesnt work”

      Reset to what? Unthinking fuckwit? No, thanks.

    • The author is correct. There are genetic differences between conservatives and liberals. He’s wrong, however, as to which one is preferable.

    • I read that this morning. Funny that they don’t understand our point of view any more than we do theirs. Although theirs is usually based in some reward that they will eventally earn after they die…

  14. January 25, 2012
    Obama Risks Alienating Republicans By Using Facts
    Radical Tactic Sparks Outrage

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) � In what ssome critics are calling the most radial tactic ever employed in a State of the Union Address, President Barack Obama risked alienating congressional Republicans last night by repeatedly using facts.

    Mr. Obama stirred controversy throughout the speech with his relentless references to facts, data, and things that have actually happened, all long considered the third rail of American politics.

    As the President made reference to tax rates and unemployment numbers, as well as sixteen separate mentions of Osama bin Laden, congressional Republicans’ blood began to boil.

    After the speech, a furious Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters, “It’s been a longstanding tradition in our politics not to use facts in a State of the Union Address, a tradition the President chose to ignore in an outrageous way tonight. I won’t stand for it and the American people won’t stand for it.”

    “We want to work with the President for the good of the American people,” added House Speaker John Boehner. “But he’s going to have to take facts off the table. That’s a deal-breaker for us.”

    The President did not mention any of his GOP presidential rivals by name in his speech, but at one point said that government should be “leaner,” a blatant jab at former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

  15. Nancy Pelosi Says Newt Gingrich Will Never Be President: ‘There’s Something I Know’

    Let me just say this: that will never happen. He’s not going to be president of the United States. This is… That’s not going to happen. Let me just make my prediction instead by… it isn’t going to happen. There’s something I know. The Republicans, if they choose to nominate him, that’s their prerogative.

    • Sorry, I reposted this later. For some reason I just didn’t see that you had posted it. Indeed, this was a real tear jerker.

  16. Ryan Avent hated the xenophobia and zero-sum thinking in Obama’s speech:

    “People who live outside of America are people just like Americans, and we should all rejoice in their rising prosperity, the more so when it occurs through additions to the stock of human knowledge that will benefit people everywhere. If an American president can’t communicate that simple idea to his citizenry, out of fear that he’ll be drummed out of office on a wave of nationalistic outrage, then he doesn’t deserve to be president and his country doesn’t deserve to win a damned thing, least of all the right to call itself “exceptional”, a beacon of hope and freedom. A zero-sum world is a world without hope, and if Mr Obama is convinced that’s what we’re in then I don’t see much need for him to stick around.”

          • I’m a Democrat and a fan of this president, but even I found this speech formulaic and built almost solely for applause lines.

            Obama 2012 just kicked off but tax reform which is THE big issue was punted. Sweeping tax reform removes much government meddling in the private economy. Tax reform should have been the big issue. He was given cover by Bowles-Simpson but would it have passed? Probably not. Will many of Obama’s countless little tax breaks pass? Probably not.

            The speech will poll through the roof as you could see from an earlier post I had. Joe and Jane Sixpack will love it. I get that. But let’s be clear: more tax breaks is not change, it’s a bigger tax code. It is much more of the same things that Americans are sick of.

            • I get what you’re saying badmoodman. I really do.

              I’m trying to look at it as a speech that will reach all Americans (except those who will hate him, no matter what), but especially the fence-sitters, independents, and low information voters.

              People like you and me pay attention to what’s going on in this country, we can spout facts and figures right off the tops of our heads, but we have to remember that (sadly) we are a minority. This speech had to appeal to far too many people, and because of that, it was watered down — insider trading by congress? Yeesh. Citizens United, hello!? He’ll get into the red meat on the campaign trail, and if he doesn’t, we’ll have a repiggie president next January.

              FSM help us.

  17. After further review; I liked President Obama’s speech though I understand why some folks who are a bit farther left than me would be a bit disappointed. He included something for everyone outside the insane Reichwhiners and, I thought, did a masterful job of chopping down Reich-wing talking points and falsehoods. The pained looks on the faces of the GOoPers said a lot about how effective a speech it was. The reactions from FAUX”News” say a lot more. He skewered the Reichwhiners with a direct appeal to the vast moderate majority.

    The Reichwhiners are in full spin mode trying to tell their stupid worshipers that Obama declared war on them despite only using the word “Republican” once. Of course, that’s been going on since at least the moment he was declared the winner of the 2008 election. I think I especially liked the fact that he clearly stated our current record levels of energy production and made a strong case that we have an energy consumption problem. The false claims that his policies have reduced energy production were deftly stomped down.

    It wasn’t a perfect speech but it was a good speech and, IMO, the right speech for the moment. Enjoy the Reich-wing outrage at the link below.

    P.S. I do wish that it was possible for the president to ignore the rules of decorum. It would be w thing of beauty if he were allowed to turn around to Boner, somewhere between the time he looked like he was passing a kidney stone and lapsing into DTs, and say; “round up your herd of freaks and set them to work for the good of the country, you bastard”.

      • I especially like the way that they all say “I watched the whole speech” and then whine about something that wasn’t in it. They may have watched the speech but they didn’t understand it and seem assured that their worshipers did not watch said speech. They can tell their audience any damn thing they want without fear of anyone checking their facts.

  18. • Happy Birthday, Rabbie •

    A Rose-Bud By My Early Walk

    A Rose-bud by my early walk,
    Adown a corn-enclosed bawk,
    Sae gently bent its thorny stalk,
    All on a dewy morning.
    Ere twice the shades o’ dawn are fled,
    In a’ its crimson glory spread,
    And drooping rich the dewy head,
    It scents the early morning.

    Within the bush her covert nest
    A little linnet fondly prest;
    The dew sat chilly on her breast,
    Sae early in the morning.
    She soon shall see her tender brood,
    The pride, the pleasure o’ the wood,
    Amang the fresh green leaves bedew’d,
    Awake the early morning.

    • A breath of light
      this poem doth sight
      and lift to height
      mine ears from night

      Nice ebb, thanks!

  19. I found it telling which SC justices attended the SOTU and which SC justices did not attend. Not surprised, but very telling.

    • I wasn’t quite sure to make of that. Sonia Sotomayor was the one that really surprised me. Roberts, of course, probably has to show up since he’s cheif justice. Although, none of this is mandated; it’s all just a matter of tradition.

  20. From Daily Kos:

    Fidel Castro on the Republican race for the presidential nomination:

    “The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is — and I mean this seriously — the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been,” said the retired Cuban leader, who has dueled with 11 U.S. administrations since his 1959 revolution.

    Good old Fidel. 😀

    • If anything the GOP Clown Car is de-legitimizing the very concept of representative democracy giving depots like Fidel the kind of ammo they rarely have at their disposal.

    • Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark. Hope that Obama gets elected, because if Crybaby Newt gets his finger on the button, I’m pretty sure that Cuba will be gone in the middle of the night.

    • Srsly? He’s a card. I am sure he falls asleep with a smile on his face each night. After watching a rerun of the latest debate to cheer him up.

  21. Newt Gingrich: Repeat, repeat, repeat,. .Reagan, Reagan, Reagan.

    Elliott Abrams (NRO) blasts Gingrich’s self-image as one of Reagan’s closest allies:

    “The best examples [of Gingrich attacking Reagan] come from a famous floor statement Gingrich made on March 21, 1986. This was right in the middle of the fight over funding for the Nicaraguan contras; the money had been cut off by Congress in 1985, though Reagan got $100 million for this cause in 1986. Here is Gingrich: “Measured against the scale and momentum of the Soviet empire’s challenge, the Reagan administration has failed, is failing, and without a dramatic change in strategy will continue to fail. . . . President Reagan is clearly failing.” Why? This was due partly to “his administration’s weak policies, which are inadequate and will ultimately fail”; partly to CIA, State, and Defense, which “have no strategies to defeat the empire.” But of course “the burden of this failure frankly must be placed first on President Reagan.”

  22. Heh! I wonder if Ms. Kelly is going to get punished for accidentally telling the truth? She all but admitted that the pet “libruls” at FAUX”News” are not, in fact, “libruls”. The assertion that raising taxes is “punishing success” has become so worn that it doesn’t even make me mad any more.

    • As Walter Scott penned

      Oh what a tangled web we weave,
      When first we practise to deceive!

      (Mittens needs to keep the prevarications on a handy 3×5 for quick reference)

    • While it’s sad that some will believe him, and even defend his silly lie, I still have to laugh when they make up their own “facts” without even a blink. I will give Mittens one little benefit of the doubt though. It is true that he gives roughly the same amount to the LDS church as he pays in federal taxes. I think his little gem about his corporate taxes might bite him in the ass though.

      First of all, in order for it to be true than everyone who works for a corporation would be taxed on the income of said corporation. And, even if he walks back from that little folly, he will have to defend paying less tax on the money he skims from a company and stuffs in a sock than the company pays on its earnings. The last thing he needs is to prove beyond all doubt that he skims as much cash as possible, right off the top, before it ever finds its way to the company coffers.

      • My income has already been taxed at 100%, probably more, and before I even git it. My new S.S. check, thanks to the $31 per month raise is $879 (after my medicare contribution is sucked out of it), and all of that gold comes from the gummint who basically stole it from someone else, probably even some from Mitt hisseff. It’s a really shitty world out there when it’s a fact that OTHERS are paying for my prosperity and all I do is laze around … doubly bad once ‘they’ figger out I’m white skinned and with blue eyes, too. Ain’t no end to the rampant injustices in Amurka since Obama took over.

    • So his claim is charitable contributions are the same as a tax? Do charitable contributions pay for our roads? Our military? Or the salaries of the president and congress?


  23. Oh geeze, I had forgotten about this old Ali G interview. The most amazing thing is that Newt actually sat with him and didn’t come off like the asshole he really is:

    • Except – we do see him telling others how to live (when he blathered on about paying child support for one quickie that brings a child into the world)

      “Dead-Beat Dad:

      The hospital visit wasn’t the end of it, either. Shortly after the cancer ward visit, Newt stopped paying alimony and child support. Jackie had to take Newt to court to get money out of him, and her Baptist church needed to take up a collection to get his kids food and prevent the utilities from being cut off. He has never apologized for this or admitted it was a mistake.”

      • My point is he quite obviously doesn’t adhere to that which he lectures. (his children were during his marriage yet he didn’t seem to take his own advice about child support)

  24. Sick Rantorum speaks on pregnancy due to rape:

    “I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created – in the sense of rape – but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you.”

  25. Extreme Measures Dept:

    Charla Krupp, who gained a national following by offering women advice on looking younger and thinner with best-selling books like “How Not to Look Old,” died on Monday at her home in Manhattan. She was 58, but looked a perennial 49.

  26. So Newt promises a Moon Base by the end of his second term (like he would get one term!) and a man on Mars in a short period of time.

    Newt is a hoot!

    • Wouldn’t it take “Government/Federal” money to do this?
      Oh, I forget – the goopers will privatize and pay quadruple to the “small businesses” (read: very large corporations) to live his fantasy.


      This is particularly amusing:

      …Gingrich’s curious space fetish, which has included an idea for a “mirror system in space could provide the light equivalent of many full moons” for nighttime driving.

  27. William Kristol has a wet dream over Mitch Daniels:

    Daniel Larison throws cold water on it:

    “Daniels was talking about cutting the military budget in the name of fiscal responsibility. When Huntsman proposed something similar, he was demonized for running to “the left” of Obama on the issue. To the extent that anyone took Daniels seriously as a possible presidential contender last year, hawks attacked him for these comments at the time. Daniels was also more willing than Huntsman to consider raising taxes to increase revenues. One important difference between the two was that Daniels didn’t make the mistake of running, and Huntsman did. We can get some idea of how Daniels would have fared in the nominating contest by looking at Huntsman’s results.”

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