This is our third installment of our multi-part series on Corporate Person Hood. Here at The Zoo, our investigative reporters have learned that the Person Hood movement is expanding. Once relegated to the large, multi-national for-profit corporations, there is now a crass-roots movement to recognize small corporations, those with 25 or fewer shareholders, as people, too.
Lawsuits on behalf of Limited Liability Corporations are being contemplated, arguing that the 14th amendment, which prohibits discrimination, should be interpreted to prohibit discrimination based on size. “Size, when it comes to a Corporation, really shouldn’t matter.” said one attorney, who chose to remain anonymous. “A one-member LLC is still a corporation, and that corporation is a person. Mitt Romney said so.”
Not to be outdone, religious non-profits are claiming being excluded from Corporate Person Hood is religious discrimination. “After all, we represent the Body of Christ” a spokesperson for several denominations claimed. “His Body on Earth must be recognized as a Person.” That interview was cut short as the representatives from various denominations began fighting amongst themselves as to which one should be recognized as Christ’s Corporate Person Hood.”
THIS IS OUR OPEN THREAD
IF YOU WERE A CORPORATION, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR CORPORATE PERSON HOOD?