The Watering Hole, Thursday, May 10th, 2012: Need a Laugh?

Despite the saying “April showers bring May flowers”, here in southeastern New York these two months seem to have reversed. While our area, with its many reservoirs, definitely needed the rain after so little snow this past winter, the dreariness is starting to sink in. So here’s some items to perk up the spirits.

First, we can all poke fun at the expense of the gullible RWNJ anti-abortion crowd. Unfortunately, I have to thank one of their ilk for posting this crap in a comment at Think Progress:

Irony: Obama admin requires visitors at White House to register UNBORN BABIES babies as separate guests (PEOPLE in addition to their mothers!).

That’s not just IRONY; that is the quintessence of IMMORAL HYPOCRISY. NOT regarding prenatal babies as “legal persons” as justification for filicide, but insisting they be REGISTERED as separate persons for purposes of counting visitors to the White House!


“We need NOT resolve the difficult question of when life begins… the judiciary at this point in the development of man’s knowledge is not in a position to speculate as to the answer.”

Then the High Court made a key admission: ***** “If this suggestion of PERSONHOOD IS ESTABLISHED, THE APPELLANT’S CASE [i.e., “Roe” who sought an abortion], of course, COLLAPSES, for the FETUS’ RIGHT TO LIFE IS THEN GUARANTEED SPECIFICALLY BY THE [14th] AMENDMENT.”

The fact is, the 14th Amendment couldn’t be clearer: “… nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty or property, without due process of law, nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the law.”

Naturally, I did a bit of googling to see what this was about. The first dozen or so listings were all from sources of the same ilk as ‘lifesitenews’:,,!), etc., etc. Finally I found this article at Politifact. I responded to the nincompoop’s post at TP with this section of the Politifact article:

“Ed Donovan, spokesman for the U.S. Secret Service, said people misunderstood the email. Schafer’s email, he said, was an explanation of how to fill out information for pregnant women who will bring their new baby on future White House tours.

“This refers to a pregnant woman providing information for a tour in the future that will include the new family member. So when a 7-month pregnant woman is providing information for a tour that is 4 months in the future, there is a ‘place holder’ for the new baby,” Donovan wrote in an email.

In a phone call, he acknowledged the procedure may seem “a little anal.”

“I know people are construing it as an unborn child, but the visit isn’t occurring (now). If a pregnant woman shows up at the White House, we don’t count two people. It’s sort of a way of expediting (the process) so no one gets hung up at the gate,” he said.”

Typical of these right-wingers, who obviously do not excel at reading comprehension, to go ape-shit over what they believed would help them overturn Roe v. Wade. Yeah, good luck with that, RWNJs.

And second, for more light-hearted giggles, titters and groans, here’s a bunch of either unfortunate or tongue-in-cheek newspaper headlines:

Wow – the miracles of modern technology!

Must’ve been SOME camouflage!

Hmm…really? Maybe they should check the next headline.

Has the pitcher been eating “Colon Blow”? Ohh, it’s pronounced “cologne”.

I hope for the second attorney’s sake that he’s not doing this pro bono.

195 thoughts on “The Watering Hole, Thursday, May 10th, 2012: Need a Laugh?

  1. Who’s using the military as a prop to promote their “gay agenda?”

    Gay Marriage, Scripture and Providing for the Common Defense – Fox News

    Rep. Steven Palazzo (R-MS) concocted a provision which would ban the performance of same-sex marriage ceremonies on military installations. A “conscience clause” forged by Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) would allow military chaplains to refuse to wed gay and lesbian couples.

    This comes just months after Congress formally ended the military’s 18-year policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).” DADT barred gay and lesbian service members from identifying themselves as such and prohibited the armed forces from inquiring about the sexual orientation of those serving the nation.
    “The president has repealed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and is using the military as a prop to promote his gay agenda,” declared Akin.

    • Good idea. There were more in that e-mail that she didn’t post.

      So, check out Ed’s website for his Playbook and get your tweets prepared ahead of time. He usually does his topics in the order they’re listed in the playbook, so as he goes to commercial, post your tweet before he gets back and you might see it on TV when you return to the TV room. Just a suggestion. Good luck. 🙂

        • Last night’s playbook was posted at 7:14 PM ET, so figure tonight’s will be around the same time, then plan accordingly. If you read Ed’s blog now, or Think Progress, you can guess what some of the topics will be.

          So, perhaps you want to prepare a tweet about Mitt Romney’s history of bullying people while in school. He claims to not remember doing it, but seems positive it had nothing to do with the victim being perceived as gay. His friends who remember the incident clearly say differently.

          Or one about Bristol Palin putting forth the the idea that she knows more about how to be a good parent than Barack Obama, both of whose children were born in wedlock. To hear her say that children do better with a mother/father family is laughable, as she doesn’t have that for her own child. Is she planning to marry the next guy that gets her pregnant? By the way, has she been celibate since she broke up with her child’s father, Levi Johnston? Just curious.

          And, Michelle Bachmann has decided against accepting her new Swiss citizenship. She wants people to think of her as an American through and through. Do we have to? (I’m using that one, get your own. 🙂 )

          I told my mother to watch the show tonight since there is no Mets game, so I better get at least one on. Good luck.

  2. Washington Post Account Details Romney’s Prep School Pranks, Bullying | TPM Livewire

    “He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!” an incensed Romney told Matthew Friedemann, his close friend in the Stevens Hall dorm, according to Friedemann’s recollection. Mitt, the teenaged son of Michigan Gov. George Romney, kept complaining about Lauber’s look, Friedemann recalled.
    A few days later, Friedemann entered Stevens Hall off the school’s collegiate quad to find Romney marching out of his own room ahead of a prep school posse shouting about their plan to cut Lauber’s hair. Friedemann followed them to a nearby room where they came upon Lauber, tackled him and pinned him to the ground. As Lauber, his eyes filling with tears, screamed for help, Romney repeatedly clipped his hair with a pair of scissors.

    But it’s okay. Romney’s rich. Those rules only apply to other people.

    • Not scared off, the sun is finally shining and there’s work to be done. You have a good day too zxbe.

    • I was thinking about how it fits with the long established pattern of weird things to be terrified of. We used to have the Red Menace which they considered substantial. Since thats gone we now have teh Gay Menace, The Uterine Threat and the nonWhite pandemic, all threatening our precious bodily fluids.

  3. So, what was the first thing YOU did this morning?

    Was it going into your backyard at 4:00am without a stitch of clothing on, picking up a 12′ pool broom and shag a quacking duck out of your swimming pool?

    Ya know, just a guess.

  4. Jane, I saw that nutty comment on TP, and figured there must be something they failed to read past the first four words. But I didn’t care enough to find out.

    Thanks for caring! It’s hilarious!

  5. Via TP: Allen West’s tweet on President Obama’s support for equality:

    “Pres failures are masked by irrelevant pandering as a collectivist who does not respect individual sovereignty. More of the same politics.”

    WTF does that mess even mean? I would think permitting someone to marry the person they love was a fine manifestation of respect for individual sovereignty.

    • The new wingnut meme is gateway. Everything is a gateway to something else, in their world view.

      For instance, the bodily response of breathing is a gateway to death.

  6. Above, Romney says that we should not discard 3,000 years of history of one-man-one-woman marriage.


    His own family were polygamists only a century ago – and went to Mexican colonies to escape US legal oppression of their version of marriage. Romney’s great-grandparents were polygamists; one of his his great-great-grandfathers had twelve wives and was murdered by the husband of the twelfth.

    For Romney to say that the definition of marriage has remained the same for 3,000 years is disproved by his own family. This isn’t just parsing, it’s patently false. A lie.

    • At any given moment he will say anything to anybody, even if it directly contradicts something he said just the day or hour before, if he thinks it will get him a single vote. i don’t know if we have ever had a presidential candidate who was so fickle. The attempts of the Reichwhiners to claim that President Obama is “pandering” for votes just makes it more delicious.

    • He’s just repeating the same stupid lie that fundies have been spouting over and over. The OT god had no problem with Kings having many wives and concubines, or sending a good friend into battle just to boink his wife. Apparently, God changed his mind somewhere along the way, which sort of conflicts with the omniscient thing.

  7. For Wrocky and In case the Polar Bear stops by update on the Fruitvale Bridge:

    bands on the Oakland kids on Wed. morning and estimated their age to
    be 22-23 days old. Hiko and Tremaine lodged an impressive defense of the
    eyases. The names and bands numbers are Girl: 06/R Right Leg (Pearl-street
    bordering the bridge in Alameda), Boy 1: U/53 Left Leg (Cato – a name from Jim,
    Fruitvale Bridge tender, who has been most helpful in assisting with the
    resident falcons), Boy 2: U/49 Right Leg (Sahale – Native American word for
    falcon). All is well with this family.

  8. From the WP article Zxbe posted:

    Lou Vierling, a scholarship student who boarded at Cranbrook for the 1960 and 1961 academic years, was struck by a question Romney asked them when they first met. “He wanted to know what my father did for a living,” Vierling recalled. “He wanted to know if my mother worked. He wanted to know what town I lived in.” As Vierling explained that his father taught school, that he commuted from east Detroit, he noticed a souring of Romney’s demeanor.

    Snobby much?

    and this : The time after class was set aside for sports. Romney was not a natural athlete, according to classmates. He wore the Cranbrook “C” on his white tank top as a cross-country runner, but the greatest impression he made in that pursuit was collapsing near the finish line during a meet …

    I hope that is a metaphor for the upcoming Presidential election.

    • An apt title, for a repugnant party member:

      “It Worked For Me: In Life and Leadership.”

      for surely Powell refers to lies and deceit as being useful…

  9. Maybe I’m not that progressive or maybe just suspicious but I think Mormons are counting onour political correctness to ignore Romney’s religion. When I worked at First Boston in corporate finance only investors were Catholic & Mormon churches and insurance companies. When I worked at ad agencies the Mormons were pushing hard for commercials to be shot at their brand new studios in Utah. I think they are too secretive and would love to have more power in this country.

    • I suspect that most Americans have no idea what LDS is all about, or anything about their beliefs. The fundies know enough to say “cult!!” but undoubtedly couldn’t tell you why. Even those who may have heard something about the Lost Tribes or Moroni almost certainly know nothing about the Church itself, or assume it’s just a Utah thing.

      • I had an opportunity to read much of the Book of Mormon. I quickly came to the conclusion that anyone who Believes a word of it is terminally stupid and/or mad as a hatter. The Bible, by comparison, reads like a real historical and scientific work.

        • I worked for and with Mormons for close to forty years, and in all that time I met exactly TWO whom I trusted, whom I considered to be good friends. The rest were a bunch of crooked fuckers, liars, cheats, and thieves. Every goddamned one of them, save for those two. The contrast was stunning, actually, never did figure out what happened to screw up two of them. They were not, btw, very highly thought of amongst and by their “brethren”. Oh, and one of the good guys liked a good cigar as much as I did, way back when. He wasn’t exactly a ‘Jack Mormon’, but he was close enough to qualify in my book.

          Overall, I wouldn’t lift my leg on the entire LDS church. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, and then some.

      • Mor(m)onism – a cult created by a liar and a lunatic co-opted by a murderous meglomaniac.

        Seriously Mitt, how many people have you stood in for in proxy-postmortem Mor(m)on baptisms?

      • The Mormon Curtain

        [Ex-Mormon News, Stories And Recovery ]

        Mormonism is a dooms-day-cult, meaning, it continually preaches that the end is near and that Jesus Christ will come to destroy all of the wicked and only the saints and a few “righteous” persons will be left. In the beginning, the Mormon Church taught that every Mormon should have food storage to prepare for the second coming of Christ. Near the middle of 1900s, the Mormon Church changed the amount of the food storage to two years. Several decades later it was changed to one year. Today, the food storage is three months.

  10. Hey, I’m not “married”! The institution has already been redefined – and redefined – and redefined:

    “It is true that the term “marriage” has traditionally been applied, for the most part, to heterosexual unions specifically (though often polygamous ones, a fact such critics persistently pretend to overlook). But it is also true that the term “marriage” has traditionally been applied exclusively to relationships in which the husband held legal authority over the wife – relationships in which the wife was not only subordinated to her husband but actually absorbed into his legal identity.

    If we are going to appeal to traditional usage to deny that same-sex partnerships are genuine marriages, then by the same argument we will have to deny that relationships between legal equals can count as marriages. In the traditional meaning of “marriage,” then, there are no married couples in the United States today.”

  11. The Day After recap:

    Unwed teen mom Bristol Palin lectures Barack Obama on the sanctity of marriage and being a good parent .
    Thrice-divorced Rush Limbaugh on the sanctity of marriage: “words used to mean something.”
    The grandson of a Mormon Polygamist is going to run on “defending traditional marriage.”

  12. Anybody know about this?

    • The Mailroom Clerk reports to me and not 15 minutes ago told me about these incidents. He’s trying to get some detail about what he might be looking for amongst incoming mail.

      Hmm. Seems to be a complete hoax. Fuggers wrote “Anthrax” on the envelope and threw in some white powder. IOW, stupid is as stupid does.

  13. Michele Bachmann to withdraw her Swiss citizenship during her bid for re-election | The Ticket – Yahoo! News

    Today I sent a letter to the Swiss Consulate requesting withdrawal of my dual Swiss citizenship, which was conferred upon me by operation of Swiss law when I married my husband in 1978. I took this action because I want to make it perfectly clear: I was born in America and I am a proud American citizen. I am, and always have been, 100 percent committed to our United States Constitution and the United States of America. As the daughter of an Air Force veteran, stepdaughter of an Army veteran and sister of a Navy veteran, I am proud of my allegiance to the greatest nation the world has ever known.

    While Bachmann says she automatically became a Swiss citizen when she married her husband, Marcus, in 1978, Politico’s Tim Mak reports that the marriage was only disclosed to Swiss authorities this year when the couple registered their children for dual citizenship.

    So the rest of her family isn’t so proud to be Americans?

      • You made me curious about the Swiss healthcare system…

        Switzerland – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

        Swiss citizens are required to buy universal health insurance from private insurance companies, which in turn are required to accept every applicant. This system permits access to a broad range of modern medical services. The healthcare system compares well with other European countries and patients are largely satisfied with it. In 2006 life expectancy at birth was 79 years for men and 84 years for women.[132] It is among the highest in the world.[133][134] However, spending on health is particularly high, with 11.5% of GDP (2003) and, from 1990, a steady increase is observed, reflecting the high prices of the services provided.[135] With aging populations and new healthcare technologies, health spending will likely continue to rise.[135]

        So, unless she reounces her Swiss citizenship she’ll be required to buy universal healthcare. As will her un-American family.

  14. Well that was fast… I already got a Robocall asking for money for Mittens because of Obama’s godless stance on marriage.

  15. Received this email today from my Senator, Mark Udall, a Mormon. Surprising.

    Dear P.L. —

    Once again, I am proud of our country and of our leaders. President Obama announced yesterday that he supports full marriage equality.

    From putting a stop to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell to attempts to repeal the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act, I have long been a supporter of equal rights for our gay and lesbian neighbors. I believe that all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation, should be able to enter into a committed, married union under the eyes of the law. Marriage is a public affirmation of a couple’s commitment and their responsibilities to each other, and it strengthens our families and communities. I am glad to hear that the President agrees.

    For years, rights have been unfairly denied to Americans based on their sexual orientation. This discrimination is real, and it is intolerable. Yesterday, we saw a major step forward in righting this wrong.

    But things won’t change around here in a heartbeat. I feel incredibly fortunate to be serving this country during a time when we are moving towards greater freedom for more people, but we still have work to do on this important issue.

    I will continue to be a vocal supporter of equality for all Americans, and I am grateful to the President for speaking up as well.


    Mark Udall
    U.S. Senator

  16. Following Frugal’s lead… and I just got this about half-hour ago from one of my Senators…

    Dear John,

    Yesterday was a great day for our country.

    I was so proud to see our President affirm that no couple should be denied the right to marry. And I was proud of you — the grassroots activists who have worked hard to change minds and show support as the nation, and the President, have evolved to this point.

    The President’s words won’t change the law. The discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act is still on the books (although we’re fighting to repeal it). And, in many states, gay and lesbian couples are still being told that their unions simply don’t merit official recognition.

    Franni and I have been married for nearly 37 years. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And I will never understand how the ability of others to share in the joys of marriage is supposed to hurt mine. In fact, the way I see it, the more people who are able to experience the hard work and incredible fulfillment that comes with marriage, the stronger the institution becomes.

    And, by the way, the same is true for a movement like the one we’re building. The more people who are part of it, the stronger we are.

    That’s why a great way to celebrate President Obama’s courageous and historic announcement would be to invite others to share in our fight to enshrine equality in the law. You can do that by sharing on Twitter or Facebook, or just by forwarding this message to a friend.

    Whether you’re gay or straight, married or not, there’s no doubt that removing discrimination from our laws makes us a better country. And there’s no doubt that we only move forward when good people like you decide to take action.

    Thanks for helping to make yesterday possible. And thanks for all you’ll do to make the next big victory for equality happen, too.

    Al [Franken]

    P.S.: If you’re proud, too, use the hashtag #proud to tell the world on Twitter.

    Sad, but all my letters are Dear John letters…

    • Conversely, I didn’t get a single letter from either of my “John” Senators: Jon Kyl or John McCain saying that it was a great day in America….

      (They are probably frothing at the mouth.)

  17. I took a bus ride today on the local bus that passes one block from me. For $1.50 I can ride all day on any of the routes. One of the routes goes to Jacksonville 35 miles away and all the buses have bike racks. The venture on the bus is the result of my broken relationship with my neighbor with whom I was making mouse deliveries. He broke the relationship by demanding I apologize for referring to him as a dumb-ass. I was really being restrained by not referring to him as an uneducated idiot or stupid motherfucker. I really could not abide any longer his referring to Obama as a N-word. The neighbor really is a ignorant bastard.

    The need to do shopping and banking led to the bus ride today. The interesting aspect was making a new friend with the bus driver, a man who “retired” when his truck driving job went away. He hauled mail for a contractor to the USPS. He was born and raised in NYC, the son of Polish Jewish immigrants whose mother is still alive at 93. She managed to survive in Poland after the German invasion by hiding from the soldiers with help from non-Jews.

    Marty and I share political views about the damage republicans have caused our country and the negative influence of Fox. I also lent him my copy of “Jakob the Liar” which he has never seen (its a story about life in a ghetto in Poland in WWll). He was thrilled that Robin Williams stars in the movie.

    In regards to the new computer all is well so far but it doesn’t seem as fast as my old one so I’m still doing diagnostics and running optimizing programs. Videos are not crashing and I was able to watch Rachael, Lawrence, Jon and Stephen last night.

    That beautiful woman still appears as Zooey’s reply gravatar and my thoughts about that made for restful sleep and an R rated dream last night!

  18. Unless I turned my head at the wrong time, it looks like I struck out trying to get on the Ed Show tonight. Oh, well. Tomorrow’s another day. I have one more shot, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

  19. I was watching movies from my Humphrey Bogart collection. In “To Have and Have Not” Bogey a fishing boat on the island of Martinique in 1940. I loved the scene where he tells his customer he needs money for gas – 40 gallons at $0.28/gal cost $11.20! This movie was Lauren Bacall’s film debut and the beginning of her and Bogey’s relationship.

      • They’re the worst kind of stings too.

        I watched “China Clipper” and smiled when Bogey was flying in a typhoon with a ground speed of 50 mph!

    • Oh man, I just spent $50 to fill my car. *facepalm*

      As a kid, I remember my dad filling our old station wagon (with fins) with gas, and thinking to myself, “If it costs $5 every time I have to fill the gas tank, I just won’t have a car.”


  20. Rachael reports Scott Brown demeans her using her being1/32 Indian. I’m sure though that if she had 1 drop of black blood she’d be a N-word to him and other republiscums.

    • House, I’ll believe it when I see it… he’s keeps getting reelected. I hope to see him in his own pink jail underwear someday.

  21. Romney’s glib response to charges that he held down a younger student and hacked off his hair, and arranged it so a visually impaired teacher would smash into a door (because he thought Romney was holding it open):

    “There’s going to be some that want to talk about high school. Well, if you really think that’s important, be my guest.”

    I’m sure his victims thought it was important, and the memories probably still sting — or would if these particular victims were still alive.

      • I was going to hold off on this, because my own contempt is so absolute I did not want to jump on a bandwagon w/o significant evidence. But this rat-bastard is so despicable that he doesn’t even think he did anything wrong, so he owned up to it w/o much prompting.

        • People keep saying, “Everyone did things they regret in high school.”

          Well, I didn’t. I never bullied anyone. But if I had, I’ve grown up, and I would have given an answer indicating that I felt horrible about having done mean things to others, and say that if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t do it.

          Romney doesn’t give a shit.

          • Romney knew this article was going to come out… he had plenty of time to formulate a response and what he came up with isn’t very good.

            That he had his wife saying he was just a wild and crazy guy back in high school just doesn’t cut it.

  22. So we now know Mitt was anti-gay bully in high school, targeting a weak and defenseless kid and humiliating and traumatizing him. Today, he does the same thing in an abstract way: targeting a small minority as a way to advance his own power.

    • The false equivalencies have begun — Obama did it!

      Except he didn’t. He skipped classes, he smoked, he did drugs — but he didn’t vicitmize OTHERS.

  23. Mittens being an unruly brat – figures his off-spring would be the same. As Anne said about the stereotypical “girls are good”, “boys will be boys/rambunctious”.

    Mitt and Anne deserve each other. Neither are disciplined enough to occupy the WH and represent our nation. Phony assed and snobs to boot.

    Mittens wants us to forgive and forget his past, yet we must remember every past “indiscretion” Obama may have had.

    Doesn’t work that way you effen fool…

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