REPUBLICANS PLAN TO PRIVATIZE THE COURTS
According to Tweeter, The Zoo’s investigative journalist par excellance, a vast Right-Wing Conspiracy is planning an unprecedented assault on the federal judiciary:privatization.
Under their plan all Federal Courts, except for the Supreme Court, will be held privately. There is, however, a raging debate as to whether they will be owned by one or more individuals or a Corporation. A few billionaires are insisting that private ownership is the only way to truly have an independent judiciary, while others extoll the advantages to a publically traded judicial corporation.
“Imagine the thrill of holding stock in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals” one anonymous insider told Tweeter. “Decisions that once were, well, not very interesting for the common folk, suddenly take on a whole new light when the value of your investment is at stake. With publically traded courts, everyone can invest in the judiciary. This takes jurisprudence out of the Court Room and puts it into the Board Room, where it belongs.”
Tweeter contacted a Constitutional Law Scholar for further background on this controversial plan to give ownership of the judicial branch to the public. The scholar, who chose to remain annonymous, said:
Article III of the Constitution states:
“The judicial power of the United States, shall be vested in one Supreme Court, and in such inferior courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The judges, both of the supreme and inferior courts, shall hold their offices during good behaviour, and shall, at stated times, receive for their services, a compensation, which shall not be diminished during their continuance in office.”
This means every court below the Supreme Court is a creation of Congress, by statute. So, if Congress wants to privatize the federal judiciary, that will likely pass a constitutional challenge. Let’s face it, if Congress wanted to do away with the federal court system in its entirety, it could do so, as long as it kept the Supreme Court. Come to think of it, if Congress wanted to get rid of the Supreme Court, it probably could – after all, if it got rid of the Supreme Court, there would be no court to say what it did was unconstitutional.
The fact that no one has heard of this conspiracy is proof of its existence, as well as proof of the effectiveness of the security measures it has taken, until now, to keep this plan secret. In fact, this is supposed to be so secret, it won’t even be mentioned at the Republican Party Convention. But according to Tweeter’s sources, this conspiracy gained immense traction these past few weeks, in reaction to the Supreme Court’s ruling on Obamacare.
We here at The Zoo will keep you, are dear readers, informed of any new developments.
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Great idea but I think It needs a major image make-over and a catchy tag line to put it on par with The Hard Rock Cafe and other major casinos.
Also, those black robes are a major buzz kill for marketing.
Hmmm…perhaps they should look into franchises as a business model?
We’ve already privatized prisons so why not the wheels that create the grist?
“Also, those black robes are a major buzz kill for marketing.”
Just give them NASCAR-style racing suits covered with sponsors’ logos. Caps, too.
http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2012/07/06/what-if-we-treated-political-contributors-like-nascar-sponsors
McCain 2008: I don’t know how many houses I have.
Romney 2012: I don’t know which countries I use to hide my money.
😆
Hi Andy Borowitz – welcome to the Zoo….
cat videos – cat film festival article
Those videos are certainly mood lifters.
From the files of ‘No way, Pedro!’
Last one for me for a while:
The Toxic Canadian, Canada’s George W Bush, guts environmental and science budgets – especially those that oppose his plans to hand over the Canadian tundra to corporations.
Li’l George W Bush (I like that one) has been muzzling our scientists over the last few years.
He looks like Teddy Roosevelt in that picture a little …. but there the resemblance ends… totally.
Romney speaking at the NAACP convention…
http://video.msnbc.msn.com/msnbc.com/48146818#48146818
Beside his annoying speech patterns, he’s now developed a “tsk” type noise at the beginning of his sentences.
He’s gotten a couple minor laughs, but only sporadic applause. Annnnnd, he’s just doing his regular stump speech. Bad form.
Dismissed.
“I want you to know that if I did not believe that my policies and my leadership would help families of color — and families of any color — more than the policies and leadership of President Obama, I would not be running for president.”
Translation: If the rich get even richer, we can afford to hire you as maids, drivers, cooks, gardeners, etc…
The fact that he mentioned “color” shows that he thinks that the “families of color” are different from other families. What an idiot. He needs to remove his magic underwear. It is interfering with his brain waves.
I don’t think it would help…
Depends…
on the location of his brain.
He’s got this desperate edge to his voice, and the patronizing tone is rather heavy.
He just got a HUGE BOO for saying he’d repeal Obamacare. 😆 Now he’s trying to retrieve it by talking about a survey that says employers wouldn’t hire people if Obamacare was in place. Silence…
Hee hee, why doesn’t he just go ahead and actually shoot himself in the foot. It would be more merciful.
He should just stick to “who let the dogs out”
Wow! talk about out of touch with reality.
Well, they are black, you know.
*in my best Thurston Howell III voice*
You do a mean TH3rd impersonation.
“Freedom, opportunity, entrepreneurs, high taxation, destructive labor policies…” *puke*
The applause is pitiful. More booing, but I missed about what.
He’s harping on jobs, but he wants to ramp up what Bush did, which will have the same or worse effect.
More booing.
Still nothing on the thing this convention probably wants to hear about — Voter ID, poll taxes, etc.
Thanks for keeping us updated. I’m sneaking peeks here betweens clients.
The man could have done NOTHING, and he would have been well-remembered. But no…
I’d forgotten about the “tar baby” comment. Heh.
Well at least he went to speak to them – 33 years ago he would have told them to f*** off since they were not equal to white folks according to the ‘church’ in which he holds a position of authority.
Not his fault he has nothing to say besides “Take a little more off that hedge and then the Bentley needs a wax job when you are done”
Fox is hysterical over this one.
UN arms treaty could put U.S. gun owners in foreign sights, say critics | Fox News
Well, if they can’t stand the free market…
Imbeciles. Foreign countries are allowed to regulate guns without the interference of the NRA. The head of the NRA is a paranoid idiot always making up “maybe this will happen” stories. Perhaps he should take up writing fiction as he already lives in a fictional world.
How naive if they don’t already know “foreign governments” can access any information they desire, at any time.
QOTD:
“The RNC has done very little since I left office to expand on the work that we had done in this area. They’ve got a website, God bless them. It’s always good to put a website up with some black faces on it. Outreach.” — Michael Steele, former RNC chair and muppet impersonator.
Because that will convince Black people to vote Republican. And if any of them are browsing Republican campaign websites. And by “them” I mean anyone at all.
“I mean we could have made sure we got lapdances from some AA dancers as well as the white trash ones on our expense bills – that would be easy!?!” – Michael Steele – Equal Opportunity Lapdance Buyer
For gumnitch
(courtesy of Shetland Wildlife)
Oh, that’s incredible, Ebb! Thanks for remembering.
A troll over at the Plum Line responded to the NAACP boos Mittens story by proclaiming that “they also gave him a standing ovation.” Which is true. They did that when he entered, before he started speaking. I call it simple respect for someone who has become the Republican candidate for President. Of course they applauded.
But their response during the speech and afterward doesn’t demonstrate much regard. D’oh. Now Mittens can claim “I tried! I got down and funky wit’ them blacks but they don’t understand.”
Never understood why people give standing ovations all the time for nothing, they seem to be so ubitquitous to be cheapened.
Romney NAACP reax:
“I believe his vested interests are in white Americans,” said Charlette Stoker Manning, chair of Women in NAACP. “You cannot possibly talk about jobs for black people at the level he’s coming from. He’s talking about entrepreneurship, savings accounts — black people can barely find a way to get back and forth from work.” Pointing to what she sees as Romney’s lack of interaction with the poor African-Americans, Manning added, “It’s such a big gap in what he’s attempting to sell us.” …
Dedrick Muhammad, the director of the NAACP Economic Department, chalked up the perceived tone-deafness to the fact that Romney spends most of his time on the campaign trail talking to white, middle-class audiences in rural and suburban areas. “He knew to bring up great civil rights stalwarts and quote them, but he still seems to have great distance in understanding the needs of our community,” said Muhammad. “Instead of just throwing out buzzwords — ‘charter schools,’ ‘free enterprise’ — you can’t just say that to us and get a positive reception.”
This was all about showing indies or undecideds that Mitt is trying and reaching out. M’ok.
Despair.com is having a caption contest: http://spin.despair.com/contests/contest-storms/
I love their calendars, etc.
Oh I am all over that like a private equity firm.
I know I’m gonna win! Despite what they say in the preamble.
I love the ones that are around that people look at them and go “Hey wait a second …”
Changing my avatar to the one I made up a few years ago.
No, no, no… I am going to win. 🙂
“Why they hate Amurka” Episdoe #??? – the Laos edition.
Bombed by Nixon and Kissinger by more tonnage was than used on Germany and Japan *combined* in WW2 (yes read that again slowly), Laos have millions of reasons they step on everyday to continue to hate Amurka.
Hillary Clinton is there today. you can read about the US State Department’s dissembling, slights and continued unwillingness to do a damn thing about cluster bombs, either the millions still littering the Laos countryside or the ones it will giove to Israel in its next adventure into the fields of Lebanon, Gaza or Syria or whereever.
Alternet covers the story in depth – Shame on you HIllary. – The visit to Laos was covered on NPR today – not in this depth at all.
A paltry sum – shame on the U.S., even more, shame on the SoS!
We are the epitome of uncaring; an “exceptionally” evil empire.
OIMF— I hope things are going better for you today.
Says the man who became rich by sending jobs – some of these people may have had – to other countries.
Romney to NAACP: Economy is ‘worse for African-Americans in almost every way’ | The Ticket – Yahoo! News
212 years ago today Aaron Burr bets Alexander Hamilton $10 that he can kill him in a duel.
Hamilton loses bet but gets immortalized on currency. Burr credited as the first to say, “get off my lawn!”
You either expected it or you didn’t. And is that the royal “we?”
Romney says he ‘expected’ NAACP boos | The Ticket – Yahoo! News
And yet, they did it anyway.
You can’t make this shit up Dept:
Mitt Romney’s campaign asked a production company with the unfortunate name ‘Snob Productions’ to cover up its logo during an event.
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/07/mitt-romney-snob-productions-grand-junction-colorado.php?ref=fpb
I’ll just bet that the next speech Rmoney gives in front of an adoring crowd he’ll reference and compare it to the NAACP speech — and he’ll insert his Bruno Maglis into his mouth.
I see Katie Holmes has joined a much more popular, if somewhat different cult, than she just left.
The Catholic Church?
Was there really any other possible answer?
Au contraire mon capitan, see below
The Church of Katie Holmes?
Dancing with the Stars?
I just wish she hadn’t lost my number. And this is the point where I avoid any references to noodely appendages.
Just noticed on MSN, a photo of the late Penn State football coach Joe Paterno with the caption ‘This is not a football scandal’ below it.
I’m thinking no, it’s more about how those in power and authority and in high places at Penn State chose not only to protect their pal but to also protect the reputation the Penn State football program and more importantly the name and reputation of Penn State as an institution, the school. But lets toss that in there to distract from reality.
The bigger story to me is how such trusted and respected figures and institutions in our society will so freely throw away any morals, values and decency they may believe in, all to protect highly esteemed public figures or institutions. Those involved in the Penn State cover up chose to protect the institute of Penn State over the sexual crimes committed on children. Sound familiar? (Clue: The head honcho wears a pointy hat and sits in a throne.)
The bottom line is, it is apparent, by their actions (or non action) and silence, that the lives of all these children didn’t mean shit to those involved in the coverup. This is nothing new. Corporations have covered up many horrendous acts and crimes they’ve committed around the globe just as man have through out our history.
Oh my God! Corporations are really just like people…. or are people really just like corporations!?!
*Puff*
Hmmm…..two things.Sorry for writing a mini novel for a comment and damn, I hope it made some sense…and not just me rambling on and on with no point to be made. 😉
Made sense to me. Your comment, not the cover up!!
+1 corporations are sociopaths. Some people are sociopaths. Some people are Republicans. Not all Republicans are sociopaths, but all sociopaths are Republicans.
Are all corporations Republicans?
Right. Just like Mitch McConnell and the GOP has allowed everything to come to the floor for a vote.
You reap what you sow.
The Senate must also vote on ObamaCare | Fox News
You know what they say, “The 33rd time is the charm.”
Whatever happened to focusing on jobs-jobs-jobs! The republicans are rolling the dice with the repeal of Obamacare. They were stunned by the Roberts decision. Or so they seemed…
Frightfully, with the way the right wing is able to hammer home their propaganda so effectively to the minds of millions through the media, Obamacare may very well be Obama’s Waterloo.
Lots of stupid and/or uninformed American people out there who don’t care, don’t pay attention or just don’t understand how the republican party, in an all out effort have tried to succeed at making President Obama a term president.
What a lot of people don’t get is that in doing so, the republican party have blatantly shown that they are willing to take down the whole country in order to gain back power.
Interestingly, so sure were they that they’d have it struck down, they kept saying they wouldn’t spike the ball when the decision was announced.
We should have asked them to not have a hissy fit if the decision didn’t go their way. Because they’re having one heck of a hissy fit.
IC, you’re right. I think they bought into their own propaganda and are perfectly stunned now 😆
To the democrats and any decent political bobble head out there:
The next time you host or are a guest on a program with a republican opponent who babbles on about how eliminating the Bush tax cuts would be a tax increase, could you please politely point out to them that in reality the Bush tax cuts are not a tax increase, that the Bush tax cuts in reality was just an eleven year tax holiday and a colossal failure at creating jobs.
Then could you also point out to these deceivers that the Bush tax cuts were never negotiated to become permanent, that there was an original sunset date for the law and the tax cuts to expire where as everyone would be taxed back at their normal rates, before the Bush tax cuts became a temporary law.
Thank You.
On Rmoney’s NAACP speech: I was a white suburban kid who was bused to an inner city minority high school. The polite term among whites of that day for our darker brethren was “colored people”. If you referred to your classmates with that term all within hearing would politely inquire “What color?”. 🙂
Thanks for thinking about me above Liberty Lover. I’m living in hell here. My house is condemned. Hearing on the placement of the children is tomorrow. I reckon I’ll have to actually put on make-up. Pork sales today were brisk, probably will pay for about 15 minutes of hazmat crew time.
Obviously I’ve missed something. WTF?
Check later in yesterday’s thread for the beginning of the story of Outstanding’s new tribulations, courtesy of her former? DIL.
Glad to hear at least something is going ok, Outstanding. Hang in there, we are all pulling for you.
Hooda, how are your grandkids doing?
The grandkids are holding up pretty well, all things considered. They throng like flies to sugar when I cook, hanging out on chairs and watching, wanting to help.
The separation is official and my DIL has admitted she has been having an affair with her platonic bf. I feel like I’m living in a cheap soap opera sometimes but then I hear about Outstanding’s plight and I think, oh well, could be a lot worse.
The kids are still in your house?
They have nowhere else to go. Good news is, their mom isn’t. My son told here if she doesn’t want to be married then she damn well better stop accepting my help.
So she’s giving up custody of her children for her platonic boyfriend?
Sorry to hear of this badger friend. Say nothing and just keep the children safe and secure. By the way, never rent a home to your ex-DIL.
Sorry to hear it, Outstanding. Would it be cheaper to just knock it down? Dunno how your insurance would feel about that.
What will it take to clean it up or does it have to be destroyed? Those chemicals are nasty…
I read somewhere recently that it can cost as much as 50k to demolish a house and dispose of it properly.
Ouch! I suppose insurance doesn’t pay for that sort of thing, does it?
I have no insurance. I called today and was informed that not only does my insurance not cover meth lab, my insurance is cancelled and I’ll be damned lucky if they don’t cancel the policy on my farm and other rental house, this from a man I’ve trusted for 25 years.. I am responsible for finding and paying a hazmat crew to clean the home, and am not allowed to enter until the county receives certification that the hazard has been corrected. House and lot are probably worth about 150K in todays market, pre-destruction. I’ve no clue if the DEA etc. will try bill me for the removal of the meth lab.
Would you be able to donate the house for a burn down by the volunteer fire department?
Never trust insurance salesmen. Bastard.
That might be a possible solution.
Phuckers.
Hi, gang. Just checking in. I’ve been building a new RC glider which has turned into more of a project than I had thought but it’s going to be pretty sweet. Of course, after spending all that time hunched over I’m probably going to need a couple days for my neck to stop throbbing enough to actually fly it. The best part is taking a few days off from politics. The world is a bit brighter when one isn’t constantly reading about fools and assholes!
Well? Back to the salt mine. Have a great evening.
Hey pete!
Good to know you’re alive and occupied. Other than work, I’ve immersed (literally) with the new waterproof camera.
Spent last weekend up in a mountain river taking fish pictures. The (trout) quickly get used to me in the swirling bubbles, and seem to be curious about the bright blue and silver camera, and come quite close. I found out rather quickly that I need a snorkel.
I just ODed on cuteness…
No one ever suggested beagles were smart. Thank you so much for that, Zooey. Cracked me up.
In return, another dog story, this one a real feel-good piece of news.
I thought it might. 🙂
What a nice dog rescue story. 🙂
I couldn’t take the level of racism over at Plum Line any longer. These are mostly not regulars, but all in agreement that Black people are all on welfare, all racist, all deadbeat, all grasping for freebies, and all tricked by Liberals into supporting issues that are BAD for the Blacks. I need a drink and stupid tv.
Preface: I am an alumni of Texas Tech University. Over the years, I have refused to donate to the college (I always specify that any money I give needs to go to the Science Department) because of who they have hired to represent the college. My first refusal to donate was when they hired Bobby night after he was fired from Indiana. The second time was when Texas Tech hired Alberto Gonzales to teach political science.
Upshot: I received a postcard in the mail informing me that they will add my name back to the contact list unless I contacted them to tell them not to contact me. (Something is wrong with that, but I digress.) I went online to see if Alberto Gonzales still worked there and he left the college in January to go to teach at “a Nashville, Tenn.-based Christian university.”
I’m not surprised, are you?
http://lubbockonline.com/filed-online/2011-10-04/alberto-gonzales-leave-texas-tech-belmont-university#.T_4Y63BLrbk
Yikes. Make that Bobby Knight.
Ehh, don’t worry, could have been worse if they had hired Joe paternal.
Remember how Romney used to impersonate a police officer and pull people over? Who hasn’t done stupid things when they were young? Well, it turns out his father supplied him with the uniform. Laws are for little people, people.
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/185728/nobody-seems-to-find-it-weird-mitt-romney-used-to-dress-up-like-a-police-officer-and-pull-people-over-for-fun/
That is just bizarre. Ted Bundy-ish, in fact.
Five House Dems joined the repiggies in voting to repeal Obamacare: Reps. Boren (OK), Kissell (NC), Matheson (UT), McIntyre (NC), and Ross (AR).
They need to be GONE, but as long as there’s a D behind a name, the DNC doesn’t seem to care how they vote.
Mitt Romney Tried to Rig NAACP Crowd by Flying in His Own African Americans
Wow. 😯
I have so many smartassed cracks to make, but I think I won’t…
The ovation was because he was leaving.
Mitt flew in some of his “best friends” (as in some of my best friends are….)
The only way Romney will win in November is for him to lie about everything. And to suppress the vote. Oh wait.
Politico’s Joe Williams was fired for saying that Romney couldn’t relate to black people. If he’d said that tonight, he might still be employed.
My Honeybump ate her dinner this evening with as much greedy gusto as she has before — even minus 13 teeth.
She’s going to be just fine. 🙂
Good food, good love, probably the best hope any of us have.
It doesn’t hurt. 🙂
That’s great to hear, Zooey. As to the lack of teeth, don’t dogs usually just inhale their food? 😉
Two of our cats have fewer than 3 teeth left (one has 2, the other “2-1/2”, as our vet said.) Yet they are the two heaviest cats out of our 6. I don’t know how they do it.
Indeed, Jane. I doubt Honey has ever tasted her food. 😀
This place is a zoo.
Oh, wait, out of context.
I was referring to my present physical location…
Sorry… 😉
This Zoo probably smells better. 😛
Heh.
I do have my own room, and it comes with it’s own perils,
like having to wait in line for the washing machine.
It presents, or rather I should say wafts, that singular odor of the working man who comes home to a space exactly the way it was left in the morning.
This has to be the most Obama-esque anti-Obama ad of all time, from the Tea Party affiliated Patriot Super PAC. You won’t last for the whole thing:
Tea-turds have no original ideas or perspectives. The best they can do is copy and twist progressive thought.
Romney’s response to being booed at the NAACP:
Red meat, dog whistle bullshit for the racist base. Un-fucking-believable.
I’m thinking the NAACP and the black community will no longer be generous with that asshole.
I doubt they ever saw this asshole as anything other than what he is. They may be sort of polite, raised that way and all that, but folk who’ve dealt with racism all their lives can smell the stink from this turd a country mile away.
He said he expected to get booed at the NAACP, but saying this later no makes the whole thing seem like craven manipulation.
Ugh, even repiggies have never liked this guy, and I find him more disgusting and creepy than ever before.
There’s that word I was missing! If I had to sum up Mitt in one word, craven would do very nicely.
Loser.
Republicans must be quaking at the thought of being the party of losers for the last 12 years.
Yes, I’m including Cheney/Bush. They are, and were, after all, losers.
RMoney: “Fuck ’em if they won’t take what I’m not offering!”
Dog whistle, anyone? The real reason Romney spoke at the NAACP convention.
Romney In the Lions’ Den
“According to government documents reviewed by Mother Jones, Romney, when he was in charge of Bain, invested heavily in a Chinese manufacturing company that depended on US outsourcing for its profits—and that explicitly stated that such outsourcing was crucial to its success.”
Nice.