The Watering Hole: August 31 — Ummm, so this happened…


This cringe-worthy performance was an embarrassment at best, and appallingly pathetic at worst.  I have no idea what the Romney campaign was thinking when they allowed this to go over the prime time airwaves.  Wowzers.

This is our daily open thread — What do you think?

The Watering Hole, Thursday, August 30th, 2012: GOP Elephant Lies

On Tuesday night, Fudgie the Whale New Jersey Governor Chris Christie heaved himself onto the stage at the Republican National Convention, and proceeded to spew more lies than I could count. I don’t have the time to go through all of them, so I’m providing the transcript here, while focusing on the lines and lies that truly pissed me off. I’ll keep my own comments brief:

“Dad grew up in poverty. After returning from Army service, he worked at the Breyers Ice Cream plant in the 1950s. With that job and the G.I. bill he put himself through Rutgers University at night to become the first in his family to earn a college degree.”
Really? The G.I. Bill, a highly-successful Government program?

“The greatest lesson Mom ever taught me, though, was this one: she told me there would be times in your life when you have to choose between being loved and being respected. She said to always pick being respected…”
Sure, dictators, tyrants and bullies can be respected (read “feared”) without being loved.

“Our leaders today have decided it is more important to be popular, to do what is easy and say “yes,” rather than to say no when “no” is what’s required…It’s been easy for our leaders to say not us, and not now, in taking on the tough issues. And we’ve stood silently by and let them get away with it.” Which ‘leaders’ is Christie blathering about? And who has “stood silently by and let” who “get away with” what? Republicans have certainly been vocal enough against President Obama since before Day 1, as well as being extremely vocal when saying “no”, because “no” is all that the Republicans require to “make President Obama a one-term President.”

“But tonight, I say enough.”
Okay, Christie’s emphasis was on “enough”, but I felt that he had already said more than enough. And at this point in his spewch, I was ready to “say enough”, too.

“I say, together, let’s make a much different choice. Tonight, we are speaking up for ourselves and stepping up.” Speaking up for yourselves, instead of simply calling President Obama every dog-whistle name and label you could think of?

“We are beginning to do what is right and what is necessary to make our country great again.” So, you admit that never really did “what is right” before now?

“We are demanding that our leaders stop tearing each other down, and work together to take action on the big things facing America.” I can’t wait to see Christie call Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, the Tea Party contingent, the Republican Governors, Paul Ryan, and Mitt Rmoney on the carpet…oh…d’oh!

“Tonight, we choose respect over love.” I think “love” already rejected you, and one doesn’t “choose” respect, one earns it.

“We are not afraid. We are taking our country back.” Damn, after years of telling us to “be afraid”, now the Republicans aren’t afraid anymore?! And, for the umpteenth time, FROM WHOM OR WHAT ARE YOU TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK?

“I know this simple truth and I’m not afraid to say it: our ideas are right for America and their ideas have failed America.” Simple-minded, maybe, at least simple enough not to remember that their “ideas” are pretty much the same as BushCo’s “ideas”, which, in the real world, failed America: cut taxes, eliminate regulations on big corporations, drill anywhere and everywhere, and start another war.

Now for the really big lies. My comments would be superfluous:

“Let’s be clear with the American people tonight. Here’s what we believe as Republicans and what they believe as Democrats:

They believe that the American people don’t want to hear the truth about the extent of our fiscal difficulties and need to be coddled by big government.”

They believe the American people are content to live the lie with them.”

They believe seniors will always put themselves ahead of their grandchildren. So they prey on their vulnerabilities and scare them with misinformation for the cynical purpose of winning the next election.”

Their plan: whistle a happy tune while driving us off the fiscal cliff, as long as they are behind the wheel of power.”

“We believe that we should honor and reward the good ones while doing what’s best for our nation’s future – demanding accountability, higher standards and the best teacher in every classroom.”

They believe the educational establishment will always put themselves ahead of children. That self-interest trumps common sense.”

They believe in pitting unions against teachers, educators against parents, and lobbyists against children.”

They believe in teacher’s unions. We believe in teachers.

“We believe that if we tell the people the truth they will act bigger than the pettiness of Washington, D.C.”

“We believe it’s possible to forge bipartisan compromise and stand up for conservative principles.”

“It’s the power of our ideas, not of our rhetoric, that attracts people to our Party.”

“We win when we make it about what needs to be done; we lose when we play along with their game of scaring and dividing.”

“For make no mistake, the problems are too big to let the American people lose – the slowest economic recovery in decades, a spiraling out of control deficit, an education system that’s failing to compete in the world.”

“It doesn’t matter how we got here. There is enough blame to go around”

“Mitt Romney will tell us the hard truths we need to hear to end the debacle of putting the world’s greatest health care system in the hands of federal bureaucrats and putting those bureaucrats between an American citizen and her doctor.”

“It’s time to end this era of absentee leadership in the Oval Office and send real leaders to the White House.”

“There is doubt and fear for our future in every corner of our country. These feelings are real.”

“There’s only one thing missing now. Leadership. It takes leadership that you don’t get from reading a poll. You see, Mr. President – real leaders don’t follow polls. Real leaders change polls. That’s what we need to do now.”

“A second American Century where our military is strong, our values are sure, our work ethic is unmatched and our Constitution remains a model for anyone in the world struggling for liberty.”

Damn Republicans ruined my Acme(TM) Mass-Projection Particle Meter! Of course, my Acme(TM) Wireless Lie-Detector blew up at the sound of Governor Ultrasound’s voice Monday night. 😦

This is our Open Thread. Have at it!

Secret Plot to Give Birth to Anchor Babies Abroad Unveiled!

“Walker”, The Zoo’s deep underground investigative reporter.

The Zoo is proud to announce its association with “Walker” (not his real name), our deep underground investigative reporter, tasked with digging out stories no one else can find.

In this, Walker’s first report, he details a disturbing new plot concocted by foreigners to take over America’s government.

Anchor Babies.

Currently, Anchor Babies are babies born in the United States by non-citizen mothers. But with the adoption of the Republican “Anti Abortion” Platform Plank the U.S. of A. moves a step closer to allowing its government to be taken over by foreigners.

Republicans are covertly moving to ensconse in the U.S. Constitution the “Personhood” amendment, defining a fertilized egg as a person, with all the rights and responsibilities of full U.S. Citizenship. And that’s where the foreign plot comes in: vacationers. What happens in Vegas won’t stay in Vegas. She has her fling, conceives, then takes that U.S. citizen abroad to be born and raised with foreign values, but with the full rights of U.S. citizenship – including the right to vote in our elections!

No longer will U.S. elections be a fight between Blue States and Red States, but between Eurpoean, Russian, African, and Asian Americans born and raised under foreign flags, oweing their allegiance and upbringing to foreign leaders and ideologies.

So, while the Republican Party publically denounces the United Nations, they are secretly working with the U.N. and travel agents world-wide to give foreigners more and more influence over America’s electoral system.

The Watering Hole: Wednesday, August 29, 2012, Obama Conspires with Mother Nature


Tweeter, once again, brings a news scoop noone else dare report. Sources deep within the Republican Party are privately blaming Obama for hurricane Issac. Obama, they say, conspired with Mother Nature to have the hurricane appear and strike New Orleans on the seventh anniversary of the attack of hurricane Katrina. This, they say, is all part of a left-wing conspiracy to take attention away from the Republican Convention and focus instead on one of Past-President Bush’s greatest embarassments.

It is well known, one source said, that Mother Nature has a left-leaning bias and a soft spot for environmentalists and tree-huggers. So it’s natural that Mother Nature and Obama are conspiring together against conservatives. Meanwhile, some delegates, emboldened by the fact that the hurricane didn’t strike Tampa, have gone on record opposing disaster relief for New Orleans. “Let them eat cake” one reveler said, recalling that that was exactly what Bush did in this same situation seven years ago.