The Watering Hole: Wednesday, August 8, 2012: Hump Day! Now What!

This post is being written as NASA gives its first press conference following the successful landing of Curiosity on Mars.

At this point, this author will look into his crystal ball and report the following stories now, ahead of them happening in real time, to be revealed later, when they have already occured.

Republicans were quick to give George Bush full credit for the Curiosity landing. This program began 8 years ago, when Bush was President, therefore He gets full credit for its success.

Republicans were also quick to blame Obama for Curiosity’s failure. Two days have gone by, and Curiosity failed to find proof of life on Mars. Christian leaders across the evangelical spectrum blamed Obama for seeking out new life forms, when God only created life on Earth. “Life on Mars goes against the Bible.” one editorial proclaimed.

But this Mars landing has created a bit of a rift within the extremes of the Right Wing. On the one hand, many consider this to be part of a plot to bring Communism to the United States. Mars is the Red Planet, and by going to Mars, Obama has aligned himself with the Red Menace, i.e. communism.

But others take a different view. Mars is Red, just as Conservative States are Red. Bush, in sending this Rover to Mars has staked out a new frontier for conservatives in our solar system. These forward-looking conservatives look to the day when Mars’ electoral votes secure a permanent conservative majority in the solar system forever. However, it did not escape their notice that all of the NASA scientists were wearing blue…

Meanwhile, Republicans in the House and Senate have introduced bills to eliminate funding for the Curiosity program. We need jobs here in the United States, not on Mars. People working in goverment jobs such as NASA aren’t working in real jobs. One alternative bill seeks to privatize NASA, with Halliburton purportedly backing the effort.


153 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, August 8, 2012: Hump Day! Now What!

  1. Wonderful satire BnF. The sad thing is, any part of what you’ve said has actually happened by some segment of the extreme right.

    Also, I’ve heard Mitt Romney may not have paid any taxes some years, and he refuses to release his tax returns.

  2. Bill Clinton met some construction workers at the Ivanpah Solar Project with some of the best tattoos he said he’d ever seen. Later, in a speech, he said: “Think about the tattoos. You win the tattoo vote, we’ll have the damnedest environmental policy you ever saw.” – Climate Progress

    • There are many young people that are sporting tattoos. There are two tattoo shops within the same block on the main street in the town where I had my business. Both tattoo shops appeared to be doing well.

  3. I’m surprised that more fascisto-conservatives haven’t called for claiming Mars for Amurika and threatening China and Russia with nukular obliteration if they so much as think of tresspassing on our new 51st state.

    • Sherrif Arpaio called for a fence to be built, the Minutemen are on standby and Jan Brewer is rushing through an addendum to the ‘show me your papers’ traffic law incase Arizona is swamped in a torrent of green, three-eyed illegal motorists.

  4. Thanks to all for your kind words and thoughts yesterday.

    Zooey, I apologize for grabbing your ass when you hugged me.

  5. I’m pretty good a math, but I wouldn’t be able to accurately do that example in my head. I often use interpolation to get to approximate answers in my head. This one would come out “even” to me.

    I agree with the premise that Americans lack good basic math skills, and they probably do often make the wrong choices when bargain shopping; but this is a bad example in my opinion.

    I like stores that put the per unit cost as part of the shelf sticker. Although, I did recently get burned by that. I bought a box of individual yogurt cups. They had two brands (and I’ll get the numbers wrong in my example), but using the “per unit” sticker I concluded Brand B was a better deal.

    However. I assumed each cup was the same size. In Brand A they were 6-ounce cups, and in Brand B they were 4-ounce cups. I assumed the unit cost was per-ounce, but it was per cup (which meant it was a useless comparison as the cups weren’t the same size).

    Poor Math Skills Costing Americans Big Bucks – Yahoo! News

    Attention shoppers: You may want to brush up on your math skills before your next bargain hunt. New research finds that American consumers are missing out on the best deals because they lack basic math skills.

    Shoppers in a study conducted by the University of Miami School of Business Administration were unable to tell which of two different types of product offers was the better bargain.

    In one example, almost three-quarters of study participants purchased hand lotion when it was labeled “50 percent more” than when it was labeled “35 percent off,” even though the deal is slightly better on the lotion whose price is reduced 35 percent. (If you normally paid $3 for eight ounces of lotion, a “50 percent more” offer would be $3 for 12 ounces, or 25 cents an ounce, while a “35 percent off” offer would be $1.95 for eight ounces, or about 24 cents an ounce.)

  6. What recovery plan? Brad DeLong’s point-for-point takedown of Romney’s baldly disingenuous whitepaper by Romney’s economic advisers:

    “There is no Romney programβ€”a program is complete, coherent, and scoreable, Romney has repeatedly said that his statements are not scoreable. In order to estimate the economic effect of any program, you have to know what its pieces will do–you need to have it scored. … One of the most annoying things here is the partisan asymmetry: the rules of the game seem to be that Democratic proposals have to be scoreable and coherent, while Republican proposals don’t. ”

    This is long but is good to save as a primer:

    • Romney has repeatedly said that his statements are not scoreable.

      That’s a lie.
      I could write a score for them, something along the Monty Python, Life of Brian’s “Always look on the money side of life”!

      • Bonus: Romney spokesman Rick Gorka says Mitt should get a pass cuz he had a long day.

        Apparently Rmoney doesn’t have the stamina to occupy the White House.
        He needs to cut his losses and remove himself from the competition.

    • Mittens must have been itching to get out of there and use his ‘Golden Ticket’ at the local Golden Arches and got himself all discombobulated about what to say ….

    • Really, how hard is it to get something like that right? If I had difficulty saying Sikh, I’d be practicing before I spoke about it in public.

      Another Romney FAIL — because he just doesn’t care about anything but being presidunce of the 1%.

      • And it’s pronounced “sick;” not “seek.” When he corrects himself he still gets it wrong. But, so what; they’re towelheads, right??

        • I think “seek” is an accepted english pronunciation. I worked with a guy who was one and he said it didn’t matter, although he preferred “seek” because it had better english word association than “sick”!!!

      • And getting to the drive-through to place his order ….. being there must have put him in the mood for a choco ….

        • I still think he’d rather have the drive through come to his mansion, get buzzed through the rot(sic) iron gates and deliver to his service entrance.

  7. I think one of the women on the Brazilian beach volleyball team might be trying to throw the damn game. WTF?

    And what is up with all the tape on one of the Chinese players?

    • Tiny, one use only, and expensive?

      Or, tiny soaps with a gold coin in the center?

      How about a soap with the slogan, “I’ll drop this soap for the Koch brothers” written on it?

    • LOL I read the letter to the editor and both my wife and I thought that it might be a hoax. Nope! The responses in the paper and online were apparently quite numerous. He and his wife should just stay out of Canada.

      Nose Hill Park is one of those parks that could easily have turned into a neighbourhood with a view. Since I moved here the park as been surrounded by houses. It’s a very large city park mostly filled with native grassland so there are 360 views – city and mountains. Our dogs had chased deer there.

      The scariest moment at the park was avoiding some aggressive BMX bike riders. They came over a hill going very fast and nearly hit Jake and myself. If I had a gun I would have shot them. Then they stopped and profusely apologized. Good thing I didn’t have a gun – they were very nice young men and got carried away in a little race.

      • That’s why rational people don’t carry guns and don’t need to. We don’t shoot first and ask questions later, because life is just too valuable to take because two guys ask if someone’s been to the Stampede. Or knocks on the wrong door.

  8. Bryan Fischer: Sikh temple shooter was a liberal because he hated Herman Cain

    Fischer then made the claim that Page’s identification as a neo-Nazi meant he also must have been a liberal.

    β€œYou know what the Nazi Party stands for? It’s the National Socialist Party. What about the word β€˜socialist’ do you not understand? They were the National Socialist Party – that is a left-wing political philosophy,” he insisted.

    Fischer knows that his listeners are incurious fuckwits.

  9. Has anybody ever heard what has happened to Thom Hartmann? Papantonio’s done his show all this week, and some kid’s doing his RT America show at night.

    • There’s no indication on his Face Book page. A few posters have inquired as to whether he may be on vacation…those are never addressed by whoever is working Thom’s FB page.

    • I think they would prefer “curse”. And what’s the deal with Dana Loesch? She seems to be trying very hard to supplant mAnn Coulter as the nastiest bitch who talks about politics.

      • I thought Diving was one of those sports where they attempt the act two or three times, and they take their best score of the two or three. That’s what I was hoping for. I know on this dive he scored zero, but if he gets to do it 3 times and use his best score, this dive wouldn’t matter. But if it has to count toward his final score, then he’s screwed.

  10. My son just let me know that Honeybump is ill, and having difficulty with her back legs. They keep falling out from under her, and he lives in an upstairs apartment. I need to go get her, so I can get a look at what’s going on with her. Oh boy.

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