Ever vigilent, Tweeter, The Zoo’s investigative journalist par excellance, tracked down Invisible Obama on the Campaign Trail.
Invisible Obama was giving a stump speech in Monowi, Nebraska (Pop. 1).
“Read my lips,” Invisible Obama began his speech.
“I would if I could see them!” heckled Elsie Eiler, the town’s only resident.
“Oh. That’s right.” chucked the invisible candidate. Invisible Obama droned on for what must have been several minutes before finally opening up for questions from the press corps in attendance. Tweeter, the only member of the press, ended up with this exclusive interview.
Q: Why Monowi for your first stop?
A: It seemed the logical choice. As an invisible candidate, I thought it best I kept a low profile.
Q: Are you going to be at the Democratic Convention later this week?
A: Heaven’s no. You see, I’m a creation of the Republican Party. They don’t want to run against President Obama, so they created me, Invisible Obama, to run against. My sole purpose in being is to be everything Republicans want to run against. So I’m a socialist, marxist, fascist, feminist, environmentalist that wants to hand America over to our enemies.
Q: So, you’re really nothing but a straw man?
A: Actually, the Straw Man is campaigning in Louisana right now.
Tell me, why did you make that guest appearance at the Republican Convention?
A: Are you kidding? Pass up a chance to share the stage with Dirty Harry? It was an opportunity of a life time! Make my day! I had a great time!
Q: How so?
A: Clint kept talking to the chair, see. Only I wasn’t in the chair. The whole time I was on the other side of Clint, mooning him!
Q: Where’s your next stop?
A: I haven’t decided yet. I may just lay low for awhile. But whenever the Republicans need me, I’ll be there. One thing’s for sure, I’m not just another face in the crowd.