Dateline: September 1, 2012.
Following the RNC’s Convention, “Walker” (not his real name) Mole went underground in search for a grain of truth.
“I got nuthin’.” Walker reported. “I started out in Tampa, figuring that where the convention was held would be the closest to the truth. I was wrong. Oh, sure, down there amongst all the sand, half-truths abounded. But I couldn’t find one single grain of truth there. I knew I had to dig deeper, and so I did.”
The Mole wasn’t heard from for several days. Suddenly, he emerged in China, of all places.
“Thankfully, I had my Chinese-Mole dictionary with me. It turns out that after digging straight through the earth, I found a grain of truth. The Chinese figure that with Romney as President, they’ll be able to buy the country. They looked at his record at Bain Capital, and figured it wouldn’t take long before Romney began shedding parts of the Federal Government in order to maximize short-term gains. They’re looking at buying the Department of Interior and the Department of Transportation. They realize they’ll be in a bidding war with Saudi Arabia for the Department of Energy.”
The Mole then expanded his search for a grain of truth, and found himself in Germany. “The Germans, it seems, have their eye on the Department of Education. But they’re afraid Romney will just scrap that Department and farm it out to the 50 States. So they’re naturally leery about trying to pick it up piecemeal. But if they can buy the whole thing at one shot, they figure they’ll come out ahead in the long run.”
“By the time this report airs, I’ll be in North Carolina.” Walker Mole continued, “looking for a grain of truth to fall from the Democratic Convention.”
THIS IS OUR OPEN THREAD. TRUTHINESS, ANYONE?