Hole the Watering: Day of Woden: 10/10/12 Prelude to the Vice Presidential Debacle Debate

Walker digs up the dirt on the upcoming Vice Presidential Debate.

Tomorrow night is the one-and-only debacle debate between Vice President Joe Biden and his Republican Challenger Paul Ryan. Walker, The Zoo’s underground journalist, sat down with their Invisible counterparts to get an inside exclusive of what to expect.

Invisible Biden

Invisible Biden: Ok, ok. Everyone knows and expects me to say something stupid, to put my foot in my mouth, but not tomorrow night. Tomorrow night it’s game on! I was a U.S. Senator while Ryan was still in diapers. What’s he worked on…one budget? One budget? And he can’t even explain the math? I’ve voted on over 35 budgets, Republican and Democrat, and math is math. Ryan’s budget doesn’t add up, and that’s a fact.

Invisible Ryan

Invisible Ryan: Oh yeah? Well, I can explain the math, but you wouldn’t get it anyway.

IB: Try me.


IB: Sure, but do you know what it means?

IR: Not a clue.


IB: In other words, the math behind your budget is the same math that brought us the atom bomb.

IR: You may be entitled to your own Math, Biden, but you’re not entitled to your own facts.

IB: Ok, let’s take your facts. Your main man, Mitt, says he’ll cut every program that he doesn’t want to borrow money from China to pay for. He’s gonna take the axe to Big Bird.

IR: So? We can’t keep going into debt just to fund some tv show for children.

IB: We have to borrow billions because of tax cuts to millionaires. What about getting rid of the Bush tax cuts for the very wealthy? We borrow from China and give subsidies to big oil. is it worth borrowing from China to give money to Exxon? What do you have to say about those facts?

IR: Mitt Romney and I are going to eliminate subsidies for big oil. We’re going to raise taxes on the rich and cut taxes for the middle class. We will guarantee the Social Security lock box for generations to come.

IB: Huh?

IR: We will increase spending for food stamps, subsidized housing, welfare and unemployment.

IB: WTF? Where—when did you guys come up with all this bovine excrement?

IR: Just now. I’m entitled to my own facts, and my facts are the facts whenever I say they are. And the fact is Mitt Romney and I will do whatever it takes, say whatever it takes, to get elected.

Invisible Goin’ Rogue

“It ain’t as easy as that.”

Walker: Invisible Goin’ Rogue? How’d you get in here?

IGR: I should be up there where Joe the Vice President is sitting. I should have been queen…I mean Vice President. But noooo….that good ol’ gotcha media jus’ couldn’t wait to take this hockey mom down a notch or two. Well I ain’t goin’ down any more. Jus’ ask Todd.

Walker: Security?

As Invisible Going Rogue was escorted out of the building she screamed, “Alaska will secede from the Union if Obama is re-elected! Mark my words! I didn’t quit bein’ governor jus’ to become a nobody! I’m gonna be queen of Alaska! I’m gonna be—” Mercifully the slamming of the door squelched her squawking.


132 thoughts on “Hole the Watering: Day of Woden: 10/10/12 Prelude to the Vice Presidential Debacle Debate

  1. I’m betting on the Vice President. (Figuratively, not literally.) I am so looking forward to watching Ryan lose two elections in one night. Once that happens, look for him to “suddenly” become a lobbyist for Koch Industries the day after his term ends in January, even though it’s against the law to negotiate for jobs like that while still in office.

  2. I remember going to my first VP debate (Bush v. Ferraro) and feeling awestruck at the enormity of it all. Being on-site, crammed in a large conference room, with a HUGE tv monitor to watch the debate simultaneously occurring just a few hundred feet away was less than inspiring.

    As were the snacks …


  3. Got my sample ballot in the mail yesterday and on the page of presidential candidates, about half way down, is the Peace & Freedom party’s candidates: For president, Roseanne Barr and for V.P., Cindy Sheehan.


    • We don’t get anything like that in the mail in PA. The only thing that stuffs our mailboxes is propaganda, mostly from right wing PACs. We have to wait until we go to the polls to see a sample ballot. Other than trying to take away people’s voting rights, PA hasn’t changed anything about voting other than the machines, since long before I was born.

      • The sample ballot we get is a huge help, not the least of which is you can mark it and bring it with you to vote, or fill out your mail-in ballot (which I’ll do.)

        A few weeks ago we got a very thick pamphlet laying out all the propositions on the ballot as well as candidates and their positions. You could quite literally ignore the campaigns and delve into this literature and make a very reasoned decision. I’ve already started to tune out and ignore as much of this campaign as I can — from both sides. I’ll still watch debates but I don’t need to listen to the echo chamber anymore, There;s nothing else I need to know or want to hear.

        • Oregon and Washington also use mail-in ballots and both are “blue” states. It goes to show that informed voters vote for Democrats. Pennsylvania likes to keep people stupid. Who else would work in the mines? Does any child dream about working in the mines as an adult? Only the stupids.

  4. Joe should mop the floor with Ryan as long as he takes the offensive by insisting that Ryan spell out the cuts and the programs, and clobbers him with facts, facts, facts. Every time PolRyan says something (lies), clobber him with ACTUAL FACTS.
    Thank you. Sorry for the yelling.

    • I think that Ryan can’t walk away from the positions like his boss did last week. If Joe exploits that he can do well – get Ryan to put his position up and then just say – “well that’s not what your boss said last week” – which of you is telling the truth – which of you is in charge – do you agree with your boss?

      Mind you, Joe should watch very carefully the Ryan that spouted so much crap at the RNC and be careful with that one…

      And no, I am not watching it –

  5. How to win debates:

    President Carter White House adviser Gerry Rafshoon puts it, where “people prefer a good liar to a bad performer.”

    • Young Turks analysed this one yesterday – Cenk thought she was a troll so Ana called her up and *no* she’s serious ….

      … do her boobs get a vote too?

      • Does make one wonder if they used brain matter as filling though they must have had to find additional material somewhere. Unless brain cells are inflatable?

        • She is a hot mess so I believe it’s real. She’s an aspiring entrepreneur which means she’s learning how to pole dance most likely.

      • Really Cats I don’t think she has a handle on hair, makeup or nails and the cleavage handles itself on her chubby little self.
        I wish I’d started counting the times she used “like” but I don’t have the stomach for watching the whole thing anyway.

  6. Most of the hard line Repugs certainly prefer a theatrical liar. Then there are those of us who actually research and THINK.

  7. Another day and another asshat….

    Rep. Jason Chaffetz says White House and state department took part in co-ordinated effort to scale down security at US consulate – but admits he has no evidence for claim.

    “Chaffetz …. voted to cut the state department’s diplomatic security budget after Republicans took control of the House of Representatives in 2010. Republicans have shaved nearly $800m off state department spending on worldwide security over the past two years including $376m cut from embassy protection this year alone.”

    “C**k punch for a Mr Chaffetz…”

  8. Do links to Facebook work here? At any rate, 1,000,00 Strong to Help Improve… has a post about something called a Gish Gallop, as a technique in debating. In essence, one debater drowns the other in so many lies and half-truths that there is no way to counter each one with an argument. And, of course, a short effective response to even one lie is really tough. http://tinyurl.com/97gmxn8

    This is the technique Rmoney used last week against Obama, and it was so effective I would expect Ryan’s debate prep is training him to take the same approach. They must have done their research on Jim Lehrer as well, to know that he’d just wilt under Rmoney’s bluster.

      • That’s Ralphie and he’s a Bagle. 50/50 Bassett and Beagle. Several years ago he and I spent part of Christmas break at Cannon Beach; I think that picture was shot the first day we arrived and he was soooooooo excited to be there.

        • Ah, I should have noted the shorter legs. And yes, he certainly looks happy and excited in your photo.

          Although these days everyone on our block walks their dogs on a leash, when we first moved in here there was a Bassett hound that took regular walks on his own up and down our street. I don’t remember ever seeing him with a human.

          • When was 18 years old and newly married the first time we got a bassett hound about 3 months old. She fell in love with my husband at first sight and followed him down the street without a leash the first weekend. Unfortunately when he was out of her sight she started howling and wouldn’t stop. Since we lived in an apartment building we took her back to the breeder before she got any more attached. It was so sad.. But bassetts are great dogs that’s for sure.

  9. Over on TP yet another pro life, family values Republican demanding his mistress get an abortion to save his marriage. Yeeeha.

  10. Paul Ryan claims that poor people are poor because they have bad character. It’s just more elitists comments from the Romney/Ryan team. First, 47% of Americans are slackers and irresponsible and now poor people have bad character. How insulting.

    • DesJarlais, who was provided a copy of the transcript by HuffPost, did not deny its contents, but in a statement released through his campaign characterized it as just another sordid detail dredged up by the opposition. “Desperate personal attacks do not solve our nation’s problems, yet it appears my opponents are choosing to once again engage in the same gutter politics that CBS news called the dirtiest in the nation just 2 years ago.”

      It’s not an “attack” when it’s the truth about someone’s hypocrisy. If it’s true but not hypocritical, or if it’s true but you’ve already admitted it years ago, then it’s an attack.

      But when it’s true and it shows your hypocrisy, it;s not an “attack”, it’s exposure.

    • I thought SCOTUS tossed it, even though it was an old law clearly defining the dangers of corporate control of government. I think SCOTUS simply refuses to concede they got it wrong.

    • There is a horrible George Allen ad that features the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq. George sent her a nice note afterwards and it touched her. (OK so far) Then she says she saw him speak and was so inspired that she removed her son’s dog tags from around her neck and gave them to him. As a mom, I find that part unbelievable.
      Also, how in the hell can someone “mistakenly attend the wrong Christmas Party”?

    • UPDATE:

      Mitt Romney’s campaign said today he will stop citing his meeting with a former Navy Seal killed in last month’s terror attack on the U.S. consulate in Libya after the victim’s mother protested his use of her son’s death.
      “He shouldn’t make my son’s death part of his political agenda. It’s wrong to use these brave young men, who wanted freedom for all, to degrade Obama,” said Barbara Doherty, the mother of the slain Navy Seal Glen Doherty.
      She added, “I don’t trust Romney.”
      A Romney aide told ABC News today that the Republican candidate will respect Mrs. Doherty’s wish and stop telling the story on campaign stops about how he met Doherty a few years ago.

  11. About Benghazi…

    Last year, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned that Republicans’ proposed cuts to her department would be “detrimental to America’s national security” — a charge Republicans rejected.

    Ryan, Issa and other House Republicans voted for an amendment in 2009 to cut $1.2 billion from State operations, including funds for 300 more diplomatic security positions. Under Ryan’s budget, non-defense discretionary spending, which includes State Department funding, would be slashed nearly 20 percent in 2014, which would translate to more than $400 million in additional cuts to embassy security.


  12. Matt Lauer is right. This Big Bird brouhaha and Obama talking about it on the stump is asinine. Thru the debate and on the stump, Obama alternates between “we’re already doing that” and “we tried that under Republicans, and it didn’t work,” but what he needs to say is “here’s what we should do next.”

    • Regpugnant/teapottiers just don’t seem, or perhaps don’t want, to understand actions have consequences.

      Taking responsibility is another of those pesky things the divorced from reality don’t grasp…

    • “Look we have to make priorities and choices in this country. We have…15,000 contractors in Iraq. We have more than 6,000 contractors, a private army there, for President Obama, in Baghdad.” — Chaffetz

      I’m sure it was just an accident that he made Obama sound like Saddam Hussein.


  13. Willard and the Seal:

    “I don’t trust Romney. He shouldn’t make my son’s death part of his political agenda,” she told WHDH. “It’s wrong to use these brave young men, who wanted freedom for all, to degrade Obama.”

    Doherty similarly decried the politicization of her son’s death in an interview with the Boston Herald last month.

    Glen Doherty’s friend, Elf Ellefsen, also spoke with Seattle’s KIRO, expressing similar disagreement with Romney’s mention of his friend’s death.

    According to Ellefsen, Doherty found his exchange with Romney to be “insincere and stale.”

    “Mitt Romney approached him ultimately four times, using this private gathering as a political venture to further his image,” Ellefsen told KIRO. “He kept introducing himself as Mitt Romney, a political figure. The same introduction, the same opening line … [Doherty] said it was pathetic and comical to have the same person come up to you within only a half hour, have this person reintroduce himself to you, having absolutely no idea whatsoever that he just did this 20 minutes ago, and did not even recognize Glen’s face.”


  14. Amy Sullivan reacts to Romney’s latest insta-flop:

    “What does Mitt Romney believe? What would his agenda look like as president? Is there anything he wouldn’t be willing to say or sign if it proved politically useful? These aren’t gotcha questions. These are the bare minimum specifics that voters need in order to cast an informed vote. Like everyone, I would rather not be governed by a president whose convictions are contrary to my own. But I’m terrified of being governed by a president who doesn’t have any moral convictions at all.”

    William Saletan, who wrote the definitive article on Romney’s abortion waffling, analyzes The Shape Shifter’s recent remarks:

    “If you want to understand what will happen to the no-legislation assurance Romney gave to the Register yesterday, look at what happened to the assurances he gave to voters in Massachusetts a decade ago. In 2002, as a candidate for governor, he repeatedly promised to “preserve and protect a woman’s right to choose.” After he was elected, he reinterpreted that statement as a pledge not to “change our abortion laws either to restrict abortion or to facilitate it.” This allowed him to veto pro-choice legislation. Then, as he moved on from Massachusetts and began to court pro-lifers as a presidential candidate, he reinterpreted his no-change policy this way: “Every time I faced a decision as governor that related to life, I came down on the side of life.” ‘

      • Funny you should say that. I was thinking this morning that it’s unrealistic to think that a Republican won’t be president at some point in the rest of my lifetime, but this Republican would be a disaster.

  15. Good ol’ “Librul Media” hard at work. Mittens claimed that R-Ayn hasn’t debated since high school and virtually every “news” source in the country is calling him “untested” and “inexperienced”. Here’s the big surprise. It’s just another lie!

    R-Ayn has debated his opponents during his campaigns, spoke for his party during the health care debate, and led the debate on his freakin’ budget.

  16. Sarah Palin is “writing” a fitness book. I’m looking forward to a fitness guide where I can achieve all the results I want by quitting halfway through the program.

    • No but her campaign is ‘fired up’ – could be spin. She fired off stuff about

      Brown voting v jobs bills, for Big Oil tax breaks and against equal pay and womens contraception issues….

  17. Mitt Romney’s smooth political stylings (from an article about Doherty’s mother telling Romney to shut up about her dead son).

    “Mitt Romney approached him ultimately four times, using this private gathering as a political venture to further his image,” Ellefsen told KIRO. “He kept introducing himself as Mitt Romney, a political figure. The same introduction, the same opening line … [Doherty] said it was pathetic and comical to have the same person come up to you within only a half hour, have this person reintroduce himself to you, having absolutely no idea whatsoever that he just did this 20 minutes ago, and did not even recognize Glen’s face.”

    They must have been laughing their asses off at this fool.

  18. Roach-eating Contest – Why did he do it? Why did he die?

    MIAMI (AP) — As a Florida medical examiner tries to determine how 32-year-old Edward Archbold died after eating insects during a contest to win a snake, people around the country are asking: Why?

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