The Watering Hole: December 21 — Fifty Shades of Takei

NSFW, especially if you work with humorless and/or uptight people.  🙂

George Takei has a bit of fun with his trademark “Oh Myy,” while reading selected passages of Fifty Shades of Grey.  

This is our daily open thread — Remember kids, it’s okay to be Takei!

120 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: December 21 — Fifty Shades of Takei

  1. HEY!! Anybody out there? I’m alive, are you? It’s 3:45 am east coast. Is it a rolling time thing, and you’re all dead, and I’ve 3 hours left, being west coast? I’ve got a ahi tuna steak marinating in olive oil rubbed with salt, pepper, and paprika, and I hate to waste food. HELLO? Jeebus there is a couple of things I need to get right, so I need to know right now. Ah fuck it I’m going to bed. Bonne nuit all.

  2. To paraphrase something Cenk Uygur said last night, if cutting Social Security ‘strengthens Social Security’, doesn’t it follow that cutting defense, ‘strengthens defense’?

  3. Today’s high in St. Augustine will be 24 degrees lower than yesterday’s 78 degrees. The end of the world was preempted for Winter’s arrival! Brrrr

      • That vicious little shite has his knife out …. the Teabaggers are going to crash the car by grabbing the wheel from the back seat.

      • How lovely if lil’ Eric finally gets his heart’s desire and finds he can no more govern the ungovernable than Boehner. If Congressman Can’t goes full teabag, I’m hoping we can oust him. Not all the R’s in his district are crazy.

  4. “{Republicans} are vandals. They aren’t legislators. They have nothing to contribute to the polity at all. All they want to do is destroy–the federal government; Barack Obama; the national economy as long as Obama is president might gain from good economic news. That is an agenda of destruction; of vandalism quite literally. This should be manifestly clear this morning even to the most monastic heirs of David Broder.” — Michael Tomasky writing this morning

  5. Portland, Oregon checking in: Terrifying weather, looks just like Portland in December. Cold by our standards and the rain and wind don’t make that comfortable. And it’s dark when I go to work and dark when I leave. End of the world presumably.

    It’s actually about seven degrees warmer right now than it was 24 hours ago but it won’t be warming appreciably today or any time soon. On the upside, my 11-day vacation starts this afternoon.

    • Our teabaggers are lined up in front of a local guns/ammo/pawn shop, about thirty of them, waiting to get in for whatever reason.

  6. La Pierre (spit. double spit) started off the lying session by stating they hadn’t spoken about the incident, until now, out of respect.

    The National Rifle Association has reacted to last week’s deadly school shooting, blaming media and video games for creating a violent culture and calling for armed guards in America’s schools.

    NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre called on the US Congress to immediately pass legislation to place guards with guns in schools by the time classes resume from winter breaks in January.

  7. I won’t link to the place where I found this comment, but it’s fifty shades of fundy crazy:

    “Not coincidental. Batman shooting and Newtown horror orchestration conducted by same people. Bullet proof vests and masks on both shooters. Why mask a dyed orange haired guy? Why mask Lanza(who ostensibly was going suicide? Note the dates of these occurrences. Both incidents on the Friday after the new moon. This has occult fingerprints. To gain power in their world innocent sacrifice is required on certain lunar cycles and dates.”The father of the shooter is Peter Lanza, rumored to be scheduled to testify on the international LIBOR scandal. Guess who else is rumored to be scheduled to testify on the LIBOR scandal? Father of the BATMAN theater shooter.” Both men move up the ranks for this evil–
    Drugged mind controlled “patsys” delivered to location by at least 2 other individuals at both murders. These other individuals were initially present in both reports and then subsequently erased from the record. The media was told to leave off the batman episode because of its glaring mind control ramifications.
    Where is our homeland security? FBI? Nefarious men committing murder to further a world agenda, funded by the uber-wealthy border-less corporations, are now getting away with the murder of our little ones. Where’s our CIA? Have they all been compromised? Shame on them.”

  8. From TP, Wayne LaPierre’s 10 ‘best’ statements:

    1) Gun-free schools zones “tell every insane killer in America that schools are their safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk.”

    2) “There exists in this country a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells, and sows, violence against its own people.

    3) “[V]iolent crime is increasing again for the first time in 19 years! Add another hurricane, terrorist attack or some other natural or man-made disaster, and you’ve got a recipe for a national nightmare of violence and victimization.”

    4) “We need to have every single school in America immediately deploy a protection program proven to work —and by that I mean armed security.”

    5) “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Would you rather have your 911 call bring a good guy with a gun from a mile away … or a minute away?”

    6) “And throughout it all, too many in our national media … their corporate owners … and their stockholders … act as silent enablers, if not complicit co-conspirators.”

    7) “Then there’s the blood-soaked slasher films like ‘American Psycho’ and ‘Natural Born Killers’ that are aired like propaganda loops on Splatterdays and every day, and a thousand music videos that portray life as a joke and murder as a way of life.”

    8) “In a race to the bottom, media conglomerates compete with one another to shock, violate and offend every standard of civilized society by bringing an ever-more-toxic mix of reckless behavior and criminal cruelty into our homes — every minute of every day of every month of every year.”

    9) “Through vicious, violent video games with names like Bulletstorm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat and Splatterhouse. And here’s one: it’s called Kindergarten Killers. It’s been online for 10 years. How come my research department could find it and all of yours either couldn’t or didn’t want anyone to know you had found it?”

    10) “Isn’t fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography?”

  9. There are about 90,000 elementary schools in the United States. Let’s say you pay one single-shift guard about $60,000 including benefits, taxes and overhead. You’ve just spent $5.4 billion to do what?

    Uh huh, cost effective and way more government intervention.

    • At least you wouldn’t have to worry about covering shifts. Anywhere with evening classes you’ve just doubled the cost. Or more, really, because you have to cover weekends as well.

      Of course, high school and college kids could pack their own heat.

    • But that’s not the funny part. The funny part is that police officers have very specific training about stumbling into a shooting. The first step is to take cover then call for and wait for backup. The second step might include directing potential victims away from the fire zone but the main task is to keep apprised of where the shooter is so that the backup officers can be effectively deployed when they arrive. The NRA freaks seem to think that real police officers are suicidal/homicidal like their counterparts in movies.

  10. There was an armed guard at Columbine High School.

    Gardner was eating lunch when he got a call from a custodian that he was needed in the school’s back parking lot. A few minutes later, he encountered Harris and the two exchanged gunfire. Harris was not hit and ran back inside the school. At that point, “Gardner called for additional units to respond to the south parking lot of Columbine High School. … While he was on the radio calling for assistance, five other Jefferson County deputies already were on their way, arriving only minutes after the first report of a ‘female down’ at Columbine High School.” Later, Gardner saw Harris again, through a broken window. Once again, he fired. Once again, he didn’t hit him.

  11. Wayne LaPierre can kiss my ass.

    Having armed guards/teachers in schools is fucking insanity, and raises our children in terror.

    I don’t want MORE piss-soaked fuckwits like LaPierre and his kind in this country.

    • I would have preferred to see Kerry remain in the Senate but it’s not a complete disaster. Things aren’t going to change until the Dems can seat 60 senators and/or the filibuster is reformed. Even if Brown or some other GOoPers ends up with the seat it won’t really affect the balance of power. Plus, I just have a feeling that the good people have seen enough of Snotty and there’s little chance of him winning another election.

  12. The office manager sent a cartoon over email but I can’t seem to get it to copy. Its one Mayan guy working on a stone tablet and a second who asks “Hey, you want to grab a beer?” The worker replies “Well, I’m supposed to get this calendar done but if I don’t it won’t be the end of the world.”

  13. An armed guard or cop in a school might be workable but only if the school is like the one-room red schoolhouse in the country. Most schools are multiple buildings and certainly multiple classrooms. Maybe the intruder can alert the school beforehand as to which building and classroom he’ll be shooting up.

    • I’d like to have a republican armed guard at each classroom door. With no firing pin in their weapons.
      You know, just for display purposes only.
      But, they have to work for free. Keeping costs down, you see.

      • There might be something to that. If someone pointed a gun at them the following involuntary voiding of bowel and bladder could be considered a defensive weapon. Sort of like that toad that flips its stomach out of its mouth when threatened.

  14. Maybe we are misinterpreting the whole Mayan apocalypse thing. Maybe what they were saying wasn’t the world was going to end, it was just going to go stark staring bonkers without a calendar.

    • I have spent some time trying to identify the precise moment that the world became “stark staring bonkers”. If I have to pick one I go with the incident where the “leader of the free world” played like he was looking for WMD under his podium, for laughs, and wasn’t hauled off the stage and transported immediately to a cell in The Hague.

    • I’m not a violent person either, but I’d be willing to give her an object lesson in female aggression by whacking her upside the head with an EZ Bake.

    • She has a problem with a gender neutral EasyBakeOven™? Men are chefs. They’re showcased! Why shouldn’t/wouldn’t a boy want to bake/cook.

      Women like this idiot make me boiling mad. She denigrates her own gender. Can only imagine she dislikes her mother for whatever reason.

    • I bet she’s waiting for Santa to bring her the Dream Date game he forgot when she wished her mom would let her wear a training bra.

  15. Iowa Mensclub:

    IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) — A dentist acted legally when he fired an assistant that he found attractive simply because he and his wife viewed the woman as a threat to their marriage, the all-male Iowa Supreme Court ruled Friday.

    The court ruled 7-0 that bosses can fire employees they see as an “irresistible attraction,” even if the employees have not engaged in flirtatious behavior or otherwise done anything wrong. Such firings may be unfair, but they are not unlawful discrimination under the Iowa Civil Rights Act because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender, Justice Edward Mansfield wrote.

    • These touchy feely Right Wingers are really creeping me out. That said, the assistant is better off somewhere else because her boss is probably going to get hit with a civil suit from a patient under gas.

  16. I saw the article about how regular massaging of a woman’s breasts can help prevent cancer cells from developing. I now know why I’ve never heard of penis cancer!

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