The Watering Hole, Wednesday, May 1, 2013: New Study Condemns Solar Power

A startling new study released this past weekend went largly unnoticed, overshadowed, as it were, by Sarah Palin’s attack on the White House Correspondence Dinner.

The study takes aim at the neophyte Solar Energy Industry, just as it struggles to gain a toe-hold in producing clean, renewable power in a market dominated by nuclear and natural gas interests.

“It is indisputable” the study began, “that solar energy is the chief contributor to global warming.” The study continued:

Solar energy is by far the leading cause of rising tempertures around the globe, outpacing methane produced by cows, green house gasses produced by industry and natural gas from fracking combined.

The study, funded by Haliburton, ExxonMobile and British Petroleum boasted an impressive amount of statistical data. The study compared average daytime tempertures with average night time tempertures, adjusting for seasonal changes. Solar energy is directly correlated with higher tempertures all around the globe, the study concluded.

Republicans immediately seized upon the study as proof that Solar Power is harming the planet. “We can no longer afford to wait. The sun must set now on the Solar Industry.” One prominent politician pontificated. “I am presenting a bill tomorrow in the Senate that will ban the use of Solar Energy in the United States.”

When asked how he would implement his ban, given the vast amount of solar energy impacting the country on a daily basis, he replied, “Our international trade relations is already working on that. Even as I speak, we’re negotiating for the importation of over a billion parasols from China.”


60 thoughts on “The Watering Hole, Wednesday, May 1, 2013: New Study Condemns Solar Power

  1. The solar energy must be coming in from somewhere ….. why doesn’t the President do his job and secure the borders?????

  2. A southern Kentucky coroner says the mother of a 5-year-old boy who fatally shot his 2-year-old sister had just stepped away onto the porch when the shooting occurred.

    Cumberland County Coroner Gary White tells WKYT-TV that the mother said she had been outside on a porch for “no more than three minutes.”

    Kentucky State Police say the girl was shot Tuesday afternoon in Cumberland County and was later pronounced dead.

    Cumberland County Coroner Gary White told the Lexington Herald-Leader the boy received the .22-caliber rifle as a gift and is used to shooting it. He said the rifle was kept in a corner and the family didn’t realize a shell was left inside it.

  3. I guess it’s a reflection of how completely insane our country has become that I believed this post was true up until I read the day/night temperature comparisons.

  4. Where is Walter Cronkite? Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer voted with their feet and we’re seeing all the stories about people with one leg and stuff….. but nothing, jack shit about the 14 people who had no idea what they were getting into on April 18th, 2013.

    West, Texas – huge explosion,14 dead, ~ 100 injured….. rich white guys…… not in jail, media AWOL.

    Let’s start from the there and extraolate…
    1. Fracking has produced a natural gas boom (for now, until the Red Queen catches up)
    2. Nat gas prices have plunged, making the production of ammonia cheap again – which is the prime ingredient in ammonium nitrate, the world’s most popular fertilzer (we are more dependent on this stuff than…. er shit itself)
    3. There are 14 ammonia plants being planned/built right now to take advantage after no plants were built in the last 20 years!
    4. Guess who are one of ‘the worlds largest and most advanced fertilizer companies’?
    5. Guess what they see as the role of the regulator in their industry ……?

    Come to Texas – its a blast!

    • And Rick ‘I’d shut the EPA, the dept of education and er…’ Perry and other Texas knuckle-draggers calling for FEMA aid and blaming the EPA make me want to puke.

    • No doubt you’ve seen the Sac Bees cartoon ‘blasting’ Perry.

      This was in response to, a few weeks (maybe a month) before – Perry was plastering billboards and radio/t.v. ads at how much more wonderful corporate life would be in his state of TX. So leave CA for the low taxes, low regulations!

      • Yup and the cartoonist told him to f-off after he demanded an apology.

        Someone please send over a c**kpunch each for Rick Perry (R – Accessory to manslaughter), Ted Cruz (R – Bachmann on Overdrive) and Bill Flores (R – Fucktard who voted against Sandy relief).

    • Those are great.
      I once overheard this:
      Friend’s nephew: Are you afraid of the moon?
      My son: No
      Friend’s nephew: You would be if you’d just been baptized.

      • Heh, creepy!

        My eldest didn’t sleepwalk often, but one evening he sleep-walked into the living room, and stood there staring at his father. The ex said (somewhat aggressively), “What are you looking at?”

        The eldest pointed right in the ex’s face, and said in a very monotone voice, “I’m looking at you.”

        I think the ex almost pissed himself that night! I took the eldest back to his bad, quietly laughing my ass off.

  5. QOTD:

    “It is a very special feeling to land on a carrier, and it is from there tonight that the president is going to make what amounts to an end-of-the-war-in-Iraq speech. … Tonight the president is going to describe how the war has essentially, if not officially, ended.” — ABC News anchor Peter Jennings, May 1, 2003.

    • take a look at my link above – the verbal fellatio given to Chimpy McCodpiece by the ‘press’ for the May 1st event is nauseating.

  6. Appearing on conservative pundit Alex Jones’ radio program on Tuesday, Ted Nugent suggested that American soldiers who commit suicide are driven to the act by “heartbreak” that Barack Obama is violating the constitution.

    SRSLY, he said that. Yo Ted, aren’t YOU heartbroken too?

  7. Nate Silver’s demographic and immigration reform calculator is worth a look. The graphic below shows what happens if you apply the model’s defaults to the next 35 years:

    Silver explains how immigration reform could change these calculations:

    “Suppose, for example, that the voter population grows in accordance with the defaults assumed in the model. This would produce a net of 6.3 million new votes for Democrats by 2028.

    And suppose that 25 percent of the immigrants currently here illegally gain citizenship and vote by 2028. The model calculates that this would provide another 1.2 million votes for Democrats.

    But suppose also that, as a result of immigration reform, the Republicans go from winning about 28 percent of the Hispanic vote and 24 percent of the Asian vote (as they did in 2012) to 35 percent of each group by 2028. That would shift about 4.8 million votes back to the G.O.P. — about four times more than it lost from the immigrants becoming citizens and voting predominantly Democratic. However, it wouldn’t be enough to outweigh the Democratic gains from long-term population growth.”

  8. When asked how he would implement his ban, given the vast amount of solar energy impacting the country on a daily basis, he replied, “Our international trade relations is already working on that. Even as I speak, we’re negotiating for the importation of over a billion parasols from China.”

    So we just put solar panels on all the parasols, and have abundant cheap clean energy.

    • I’m not familiar with agendas in other parts of the country, but here in Colorado there’s a fairly hefty ‘push’ to encourage everyone/anyone to use solar. I get emails almost daily from those who encourage, also from those who try to discourage (the latter made up of mostly Guess Who?!). I’m a renter and have little say over the type of shingles that are overhead. But this corner of ‘Blue’ Pueblo County is solidly wingnut, so again, Guess What? The “popular” attitude is . . . yep, that one.

      Costa Rica is looking more intriguing all the time . . . esp. since the possibility of Ted Cruz wanting to be president has surfaced. Yuk. I’d rather be pushin’ up daisies than having to put up with his style of bullshit. Jeebus, what the hell’s goin’ down in this here once proud country? And what’s next on the Wingnuttistanian agenda: extinguish the sun to stop global warming? I suppose it might work, but . . .

    • Brilliant move/// What if one of those teachers was ‘carrying’ and shot off a few live rounds at the ‘invaders’?
      The town should be renamed Halfwit.

    • Just a quick pass thru since sitting at the computer is not high on the doable list yet. A few minor hitches in the get along but pain levels are dropping and I’m walking more. Today I discovered I can tie my own shoes again so walking is going to the top of the list. Looks like I have 90% + of leg and back function back and I’ll be off the pain killers either tomorrow or Friday.

  9. BnF, being sun drenched is a terrible way to live, dontchaknow?

    (Great post. Truly appreciate your wit and wisdom)

  10. May Day! May Day!

    It’s snowing in S. Pueblo County like maybe it’s early January? Word is that in some areas along the Front Range there might be up to a foot of white stuff?

    We can use it: local lake is still four feet down from ‘full’, and water-use restrictions are in effect.

    Sure am glad there’s no such thing as climate change.


    Sen. Pat Toomey (R-Pa.) revealed that some members of his party opposed expanding background checks for gun sales recently because they didn’t want to “be seen helping the president.”

    • That’s right …. f*** all of you, from Columbine, Colorado, from Tucson to Sandy Hook….. f**k you all /today’s GOP off

    • “He is survived by an 11-year-old daughter.”

      “No man is an island.” Her world just ended.

    • Through doors now closed to mortal thought
      Th’ eternal flame flicker’d low.
      What hellish deeds thy hands hath wrought
      And shadows in thy soul doth grow.

      What anguish rent thy tortured breast,
      Through the darkened halls of the kingdom,
      Past chambers where the dying rest,
      And portals of forgotten home?

      From whence came the desperation
      That drove thee on towards madness,
      To end at last in consecration;
      One final hope of gladness?

      The course that cannot be undone:
      Rest in peace, my little one.

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