Ryan & Cantor Ugly Stupid Siamese Twins

In the news: sequester cuts force hundreds of thousands of Defense workers to take a 20% pay cut.

All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo.
Paul Jamiol
Jamiol’s World

Ok, This is the Open Thread of the Day.

Have at it.

93 thoughts on “Ryan & Cantor Ugly Stupid Siamese Twins

  1. Dear Butterfly:

    Mary was just a play on words. 😀

    You are the only one I desire to be with beneath a leaf. 😉

    Yours, now and always.


    P.S. I tried to do Mary but didn’t like the way I looked in a dress! 😯

  2. i thought these assholes were all about being independent of the federal government…

    Rick Scott, Bobby Jindal, Phil Bryant Call On Obama To End Sequestration Furloughs

    • Reality hits hard, doesn’t it?
      Repugnants never think things all the way through.
      “Please, oh, please Mr. President correct the mess we made.”

  3. How did Osama bin Laden avoid US drones? He wore a cowboy hat. Wait, pretending to be a douche from Texas is all you need to avoid detection?

    • …the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances…

      oh, wait that’s in the U.S. Constitution which, apparently, has been suspended in the state of North Carolina.

    • The point to the protests is to get arrested. The participants wear different colored armbands depending on their willingness to be arrested. Green means you plan to be arrested, while blue means you don’t feel comfortable being arrested or you’ve already been arrested.

      Still, there shouldn’t be a need to be arrested at all, but it’s the only way the news pays attention.

  4. QOTD:

    “When I first learned about waterboarding, when I became deputy attorney general, my reaction as a citizen and a leader was: this is torture. It’s still what I think,” – James Comey, nominee to head up the FBI, this morning.

    So we should expect prosecutions of Bush, Cheney, et al, for war crimes, right? And what about all the other torture techniques approved by George W Bush?

  5. O’Reilly Whitesplains Racial Profiling To Levar Burton

    Burton tried to explain that it was a matter of making sure the police officer didn’t over-react, not merely a matter of being annoyingly singled out “The difference between you and me, Bill… I want to make sure that that time between when the officer leaves his car and approaches mine, that he’s as relaxed as possible,” Burton said.

    But O’Reilly didn’t get it. “…And why do you want to make sure he’s relaxed? Because that didn’t even pop into my brain. What popped into my brain was, ‘I’ll explain why I did this and he’ll understand,’ It wasn’t ‘I want him to be relaxed.’”

    Exactly! It’s called white privilege, you fucking fuck!

    • People like O’Reilly will never, ever get it. Ever. Remember, he’s a conservative (his weak protestations to the contrary) and, like many conservatives, he projects a lot. He can’t understand why anyone would behave any differently than he would, because he is virtually incapable of feeling empathy.

      Oh, and he’s an asshole, which also has a lot to do with it.

    • When I was delivering mice with Peckerhead Pete one morning he was steaming at something I said and missed the speed limit change from 45 mph to 30 in an area where we knew the police laid in waiting with radar. When he pulled over for the pursuing patrol car Pete rolled down his window and put his hands outside for the cop to see. Pete’s explanation to the black officer was similar to Levar’s, he wanted the officer to know that there was no threat to his safety.

      Back in 2000, while I was pulling over for a pursuing motorcycle cop I made the mistake of reaching in the glove compartment for my registration before I had stopped. The cop approached my car with his gun drawn and shouted instructions to put my hands out the window.

      Its not difficult to understand, especially with all the 2nd amendment idiots in this country!

    • I’m not sure I would have understood either, until I became the parent of a large strange Guatemalan child who might react in an odd way to any stranger approaching him, in uniform or not. Now I pretty much just want to take him into the mountains and hide.

  6. A word to the wise: IF your bicycle decides it needs to have a flat tire, try to convince it to do it in your garage, and esp NOT between two and three miles from your patch kit and pump . . . otherwise it makes for a LONNNNG day. Bring plenty of water, too.

    **Note to self: carry patch kit and pump. Duh.

    • Always the most inconvenient time.
      Glad you survived and have made a mental note to carry the items most needed when venturing afar.

    • The local “newspaper” blog had an entry awhile back from one of its staff, who had gotten a flat on the ride home. It was dark and rainy and the staffer used the blog to complain that a bus driver refused to let him bring the bicycle on the vehicle, with the bike rack outside full. Whine whine whine… he didn’t have a flat kit but did have rain gear. A bicycle-riding passenger on the bus gave up his place on the rack even though he didn’t have any rain gear.

      As expected, there were one or two complaints about the a-hole driver and then a host of comments from bikers reaming the guy out for [a] being a wuss and not walking; [b] not having proper equipment; and [c] not offering his good samaritan his own rain gear. I loved it.

      Yes, totally irrelevant but…

    • It seems the “massive, massive lie” had to do with John Kerry’s exact whereabouts during the Egyptian “change in government.” The State Dept said he wasn’t on his boat, then admitted he wa on his boat.

      Beck is convinced that just because “these things happen,” it must have happened here: “People go to the hospital for no reason except to get them out of things.” Which led me to tweet this (not that I expect him to reply.)

  7. I’m at the beach with my family. I must confess..I miss the darned hogs. (Not that my family isn’t great company, I just miss the porkers).

  8. Obviously laced with Maher’s comedic stylings, but I’m all in favor of assisted suicide.

    I personally don’t want to endure a prolonged and painful end of life.

    HBO – Real Time with Bill Maher Blog – Assisted Dying

    Conservatives rail on about individual liberties and Big Government keeping its nose out of their lives. What liberty could be more individual than the liberty to not become a drooling, mind-fried flesh pod? Shouldn’t they be the first to defend the very personal, human right of not having to suffer a cruel, senseless, prolonged passing?

    • My husband and I have promised to “help” each other if necessary. We find the idea far more loving than clinging with bitter despair to an inevitable ending.

      • As of now, Washington and Oregon have legal options. (Montana sort of does, but it still has a few issues.)

        In my own estate planning, I may arrange that I be transferred to a state where it’s legal, and we can go from there.

      • And the other part of this, that gets murky even in states where it’s legal, is I don’t necessarily want to undergo horrible treatments (say chemo) where it destroys what quality of life I may have had left.

  9. I read this in the BBC news this morning and highly recommend it, not only for the alternative universe Vietnam War but the underlying message.

    Listening well is a gift. The ability to hear what someone says and not filter it through your own biases is an instinctive ability similar to having a photographic memory.

    And I think we have a great deal of trouble with people who have this gift. There is something about all of us that likes the fact that what we hear is filtered through someone’s biases.

    There are many examples of this phenomenon, but I want to focus on the story of Konrad Kellen, a truly great listener.

    During the Vietnam War, he heard something that should have changed the course of history. Only it didn’t. And today no-one really knows who Kellen was – which is a shame because his statue should be in the middle of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington DC.

    • Awesome find gummitch. Sometimes history turns on a twist in the wind. And, of course, people listening to what they want to hear…

  10. sequester cuts force hundreds of thousands of Defense workers to take a 20% pay cut…

    I am briefly reminded of a former poster on TP name Darryl….

  11. And HERE’s what America looks like in a Republican controlled future….
    Hostess employees unhappy with wage cuts. The snack cake company returns with fewer factories, reduced employee pay, raided pensions and no unions.
    Wake up America….

    • Essentially saying:
      Here’s your watered down, worm infested gruel…you’ll eat it and like it for nothing else will be offered.
      (may the company fail, yet again)

    • Frankly, I can’t figure out why an outfit like Hostess even exists. I’m soon to be 71, and afaik I’ve NEVER bought or eaten any Hostess ANYthing. And I never will. I mean, really: who the fuck would EVER even OPEN a pkg of Twinkies, much less EAT one of the damn things? 😯

      • I ate them as a child. My son was given one as a reward at school, he brought it home and I realized he didn’t even know what it was. 🙂

        • Well, ok, I admit it: I had an advantage growing up. My dad owned and operated a bakery in a small town in Minnesota, and I spent much of my youth there either playing with a chunk of dough (as a little guy) or mixing/making/baking sweet rolls, various breads, cookies, cakes, donuts, etc. as a teenager. Can’t remember, today, when was the last time I bought any baked goods at the store — so much easier to do it all at home.

          Speaking of which, it’s time to mold up a couple loaves of oat bran / whole wheat bread! Looking forward to suppertime!

        • We always had Little Debbie snacks here. For me, they ceased to have an attraction after I started drinking beer.

  12. Okay, so I’m a little behind the times, but it seems the “Downfall” meme has made someone a lot of money. Not for making any of them, but for getting fired for accidentally sending one to someone. The producers of the movie didn’t like everyone parodying it but, well, I’ll let the author of this article explain

    Back in 2010, Constantin Films, which holds the copyright to “Der Untergang,” attempted to put the kibosh on all the japery, asking YouTube to pull these meme-videos over the objections of those who claimed that they were permissable “transformative” works of satire. How successful was this effort? I’ll answer that with this YouTube clip, in which the effort to pull all the Downfall memes off YouTube is parodied by a Downfall meme on YouTube.

  13. Badass Flight Attendants of Asiana 214:

    Passenger Eugene Anthony Rah took the above photo:

    ‘One tiny woman, who he said is flight attendant Kim Ji-yeon, stood out to him, because she was helping the injured, “carrying people piggyback” who couldn’t walk. Tears were streaming down her face, he said, as she helped clear the plane only minutes before flames engulfed the passenger cabin. He copied her name off her uniform name tag, he said, because “she was a hero.”

    Lisa Wade trumpets them:

    “[I’m] surprised to see almost no discussion of the flight attendants’ role in this “miracle.” Consider the top five news stories on Google at the time I’m writing: CNN, Fox, CBS, the Chicago Tribune, and USA Today. These articles use passive language to describe the evacuation: “slides had deployed”; all passengers “managed to get off.” When the cabin crew are mentioned, they appear alongside and equivalent to the passengers: the crash forced “dozens of frightened passengers and crew to scamper from the heavily damaged aircraft”; ”passengers and crew were being treated” at local hospitals.

    Only one of these five stories, at Fox, acknowledges that the 16 cabin crew members worked through the crash and its aftermath. The story mentions that, while passengers who could were fleeing the plane, crew remained behind to help people who were trapped, slashing seat belts with knives supplied by police officers on the ground. The plane was going up in flames; they risked their lives to save others.


    At least one of the 12 flight attendants at the scene carried out an injured child on her back, while others freed trapped colleagues with axes:

    “[Cabin manager Lee Yoon-hye] herself worked to put out fires and usher passengers to safety despite a broken tailbone that kept her standing throughout a news briefing with mostly South Korean reporters at a San Francisco hotel. She said she didn’t know how badly she was hurt until a doctor at a San Francisco hospital later treated her. … Lee said that after the captain ordered an evacuation, she knew what to do. “I wasn’t really thinking, but my body started carrying out the steps needed for an evacuation,” Lee said. “I was only thinking about rescuing the next passenger.”


  14. Before I embarrass myself on The Twitter (yet again), does this strike anyone as a valid analogy?

    Saying that being “pro-choice” means you’re “pro-abortion” is like saying being “pro-gun” means you’re “pro-murder.”

    If not, why not? Thank you.

    • The fog comes
      on little cat feet.

      It sits looking
      over harbor and city
      on silent haunches
      and then moves on.
      Carl Sandburg

  15. Shocker:

    Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving “The View” to join Fox News’ morning show, “Fox & Friends.” Gretchen Carlson will leave and have her own 1-hour show on Fox. I bet Brian Kilmeade doesn’t notice the difference.

  16. From the News You already Knew Dept.:

    Court OKs Barring High IQs for Cops

    A man whose bid to become a police officer was rejected after he scored too high on an intelligence test has lost an appeal in his federal lawsuit against the city.

    Jordan, a 49-year-old college graduate, took the exam in 1996 and scored 33 points, the equivalent of an IQ of 125. But New London police interviewed only candidates who scored 20 to 27, on the theory that those who scored too high could get bored with police work and leave soon after undergoing costly training.

    Most Cops Just Above Normal: The average score nationally for police officers is 21 to 22, the equivalent of an IQ of 104, or just a little above average.

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