Well, another mass shooting is in the news. Ho–hum—
Time to go out and buy more guns, because, you know, if 3,000 members of the Naval armed forces cannot stop one guy before he kills a dozen people, you have to buy more guns to protect yourself and your family, because, you know, Obama’s gonna take your guns away.
Except he isn’t.
According to sources deep within the Obama Administration, the President is considering an entirely different tact. Instead of calling for registration of gun owners, the President will be asking for all citizens who do not presently own a gun to register their non-ownership status with the Federal Government.
“Non-ownership of guns has never presented a 2nd Amendment problem” a source revealed, on condition of anonymity. “The President’s idea is beautiful in its simplicity. All non-gun owners will register their non-gun ownership with the federal government. Then, if we get a call about gun violence, they won’t have to worry about a SWAT Team taking them out by mistake. Anyone who doesn’t register as a non-gun owner will be presumed to be armed and dangerous, and will be treated accordingly.”
Early reports from the NRA seem to indicate the Association is in an absolute quandry over how to respond to the inherent double-negative in the President’s proposed program. Although instinctively the NRA opposes everything Obama proposes, no one clear voice of opposition to a non-gun-owner registration has emerged, except for that of Sarah Palin, “I think that those Americans who don’t want to own a gun to protect their freedoms should be free to not own a gun free from governmental interference and regulation and every true American who owns a gun should be free to own a gun without having to not register as a non-gun-owner in order to protect the basic liberty that is, to not delcare what someone does’t have.”