The Watering Hole, Monday, January 13th, 2014: Just for Fun

I thought I’d start the week off with some just-plain-silly stuff. It started when, on a couple of totally unrelated threads at Think Progress recently, mention was made of the New York Daily News newspaper. One commenter, in response to another who was using the NYDN as a source for some ‘evidence’, said “The NY Daily News is probably the closest thing to a rag sheet that is published on a daily basis in NYC.” So I says to myself, “hmmm, wonder where Weekly World News is published?”

Well, according to Wikipedia, WWN is no longer published:

“The Weekly World News was a largely fictional news tabloid published in the United States from 1979 to 2007, renowned for its outlandish cover stories often based on supernatural or paranormal themes and an approach to news that verged on the satirical. Its characteristic black-and-white covers have become pop-culture images widely used in the arts. It continues to exist as a website.”

I abandoned my search for lesser rags published in New York City (WWN had been published in Florida, anyway–why am I not surprised? Sorry, Florida!) and headed straight for the WWN website. A couple of “articles” from Friday included a few with sideways pokes at New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (and had nothing to do with the GWB!):

First, did you know that the “God particle” was discovered in New Jersey?

“…Physicists have been trying to find the “God particle” (the Higgs boson) for over forty years, so it’s no real surprise that they finally did it. But what IS a surprise is it was found it in an abandoned bank depository in Camden, New Jersey. And it was found by singer-actress, Taylor Momsen…”

““Of course the universe began in New Jersey,” said Governor Chris Christie. “Everyone who lives here has known it all their lives. That’s why so many want to live here. They may not know it, but they are drawn to the universal source. It’s official now – New Jersey is the center of the universe.”

I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to read the rest for yourselves.

This one, titled “Hugging Banned in New Jersey” pokes fun at New Jersey, RWNJs, and Christie:

“We are a no hugging state,” Governor Chris Christie reportedly told reporters yesterday. “If we catch anyone hugging it will be a $100 fine for the first offense, $250 or the second offense and $1,000 for the third. After that, it’s jail.”

“…Christie got the idea from Matawan school district that decided that middle school children shouldn’t hug each other. “It’s not normal or natural,” said school superintendent John Jacobus. “If kids hug, then the next thing you know there having babies and we can’t have that happen in our school.”

“…Governor Chris Christie isn’t budging and it’s not because he “can’t” budge, he just doesn’t want to go back on his decision. “Hey, that’s the new law, get used to it.”

If you wish (proceed at your own risk), you can also check out the “World’s Biggest Butt”, read up on “The Moonshine Diet” (“You can flush out fat fast without pesky dieting or exercise, on the flabulous new Moonshine Diet!), or find out why the “End of the World [was] Postponed.”

Bat Boy, of course, is probably the most famous character(?) from WWN.

"Bat Boy" (photo courtesy of wikipedia/Weekly World News)

“Bat Boy” (photo courtesy of wikipedia/Weekly World News)

They even put together a Bat Boy “ancestral tree” – from wiki:

“According to the Weekly World News, the discovery of Bat Boy’s family tree on a genealogy chart recently stunned evolutionary scientists who used to think the famed imp was a pitiful, one-of-a-kind mutant – but now believe he belongs to a race of creatures who have interacted with humans for at least 400 years. In the tabloid’s account, the chart itself was written on vellum and found in the same Ozark Mountains cave where Dr. Ron Dillon, a biologist, rescued Bat Boy after he was trapped by a falling rock in 1992 (it should be noted, however, that the Ozark Mountains are nowhere near West Virginia). Carbon dating revealed the chart to be over a hundred years old.”

One Bat Boy “article” from April of 2013 teases with “BAT BOY UNCOVERED…Mitch McConnell discovered Bat Boy at a convenience store in Wisconsin.” However, most of the article references a “Mitch O’Connell, not the mutant-but-not-in-the-same-species-as-Bat-Boy Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Turtle/Human Hybrid.) It has not yet been determined whether Bat Boy and Governor Rick Scott (?-FL) share the same DNA; Governor Scott is known to have refused to provide a urine sample for testing.

Hard to tell 'em apart, huh? (photo courtesy of totallylookslike.com)

Hard to tell ’em apart, huh?
(photo courtesy of totallylookslike.com)

For a few more laughs, check out this Bat Boy photoshop contest at freakingnews.com. And on the WWN website, the brief video montage of “Bat Boy: Going Mutant” “Breaking News” posted by Frank Lake in June of 2013 is fun, too.

This is our daily open thread–try to have a good laugh today!

72 thoughts on “The Watering Hole, Monday, January 13th, 2014: Just for Fun

  1. Court Won’t Revive Arizona’s 20-Week Abortion Ban

    The Supreme Court has rejected Arizona’s bid to put in place its ban on most abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy.

    The justices on Monday declined to reconsider a lower court ruling that the law violates a woman’s constitutionally protected right to terminate a pregnancy before a fetus is able to survive outside the womb.

    Is this as big as it appears?

    • Indeed it is big news – woman are actually being thought of as citizens and as such covered by the Constitution of these United States!

      AZ’s next step would be to secede, declare women have no rights (other than having children, lots and lots of children).

  2. Feds probe NJ’s $25M Sandy marketing campaign

    Gov. Chris Christie’s administration paid $4.7 million to a politically connected public relations company over another firm that had bid $2 million less.

    TRENTON, N.J. — Federal officials are taking a closer look at how New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s administration spent $25 million to promote the Jersey shore in the wake of Superstorm Sandy.

    Democratic Congressman Frank Pallone Jr.’s office says the inspector general at the Department of Housing and Urban Development will audit the campaign, which featured commercials in which the Republican governor and his family appeared.

    HUD’s Inspector General’s Office conducted a basic review of the issue at Pallone’s urging last year. Pallone says the office found enough evidence to justify a full audit of federal funds.

    The administration paid $4.7 million to a politically connected public relations company over another firm that had bid $2 million less. The winning bidder proposed using Christie in the ads, while the other bidder did not.

    http://news.msn.com/us/feds-probe-njs-dollar25m-sandy-marketing-campaign

    • They also wasted taxpayer money holding Cory Booker’s special election in advance of the regular election, so Booker voters might not show up and vote against Christie.

      • ironically, the voters of this country are angry, but fall slightly short of intellect or the information needed to understand who they should be angry at. consequently, anyone who can reflect their anger is deemed a champion of their “cause”….enter Chris Christy

    • nothing exclusive to the GOP here…. handing out ‘jobs for the boys’ is American politics standard procedure. Christie is simply the wounded Wildebeest at the back of the herd today.

      meanwhile far less sexy, but oh so relevant ‘watergate’ in West Virginia is only story number 2…

  3. Record Year for Ohio Charter School Failures is Unnerving Proponents

    The charter school movement in Ohio has to contend with a rash of failing schools in Columbus. Of the 17 that failed last year — an unprecedented number, according to the Columbus Dispatch — nine only managed to remain open for a few months before failing, leaving students scrambling to find a new school.

    Since 1997, 29 percent of Ohio’s charter schools have closed, the Dispatch reported. The median life of an Ohio charter school is four years.

    If a corporation operating a school isn’t making enough money, they can just shut it down? This defies the advance planning public school systems use to anticipate class sizes and number of classrooms needed years from now.

    • Very telling:

      Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) told WABC-AM that he was initially intrigued when former Vice President Al Gore began warning about human-induced climate change but became skeptical after discovering that environmental regulations might prove costly to business.

      Note the sole concern is the “might prove costly to business” meme. That the consequences might eventually cause a global mass extinction is of no concern. How did Dubsy put it? “We’ll all be dead” — so why worry?

      Inhofe is truly one of the prime examples of human failure, and somehow the people still give him a voice — tidbits which pretty much sum up the nuts and bolts of the human dilemma, seems to me.

    • From that same article, this kind of stands out:

      Recent polls have found that Americans increasingly believe that evidence supports global warming caused by human activity, albeit with a sharp partisan divide.

      IOW, I’m guessing liberals and progressive Democrats accept the reality and the evidence, and conservative wingnut Republicans don’t believe a word of it. Seems to me the “sharp partisan divide” concept most concisely defines the difference between critters with functioning intelligence and various piles of rocks.

        • Yes it is extremely sad our agricultural history is nearly wiped out.
          Just finished reading: “Garden of the World: Asian Immigrants and the Making of Agriculture in California’s Santa Clara Valley” (Oxford University Press, 2013)
          Very, very interesting. The County advertised itself as white family owned farms, when indeed it took the Chinese, then Japanese, followed by Filipinos, who all imparted their wisdom so the ‘white family owned’ farm could flourish!

  4. Seen (by someone else) on the Media Matters Facebook page:
    “If Obama had closed the bridge in this manner, Daryl Issa would hold 75 congressional hearings to interview the cones placed in the roadway.”

  5. Two victims were taken to a Tampa-area hospital. The man later died, but the female victim’s injuries weren’t considered life-threatening.

    WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. — An argument between couples over cellphone use at a Florida theater Monday led to one man being fatally shot and woman wounded, according to police who said a suspect was in custody.

    Two couples had been watching “Lone Survivor” at The Grove 16 Theater in Wesley Chapel, north of Tampa, when the suspect and his wife apparently took issue with the couple in front of them over use of the phones, Pasco County Sheriff’s spokesman Doug Tobin said.

    “It ended almost as quickly as it started,” Tobin said. Someone he described as a Good Samaritan was able to hold the suspect until police arrived.

    http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/2-shot-at-fla-movie-theater-1-later-dies

      • Well, y’see, if the entire theater crowd was armed to the teeth with guns loaded, safeties off and cell phones ringing off the hook, then the first guy could have just shot the second guy’s cell phone, y’now like in the movies, and the second guy could’ve just shot the first guy’s baseball cap off, then they all could have had a great laugh, y.know, just like in the movies…Yeah. I’lll betcha all that coulda happened, no doubt.

    • Well, the phone thing *is* annoying… but seriously. That’s NOT what the founders had in mind. That in a public space, you’d be able to simply murder someone who bothered you.

    • Very Zen. Incredible.
      The irritating part of the piece, the author kept emphasizing ‘a janitor’ was the artist, as if janitors can’t/aren’t intelligent.
      For it to be a maze, there needs to be a ‘way out’. Uncertain what it would be called if there is no exit.

  6. A Tigger update for Ebb.

    She developed a dark, foul smelling, sore at the right corner of her mouth. When I took her to the vet he said that it was just a big nasty scab that had formed over an infected cut. Her teeth and gums are actually in pretty decent shape so we figured that she just scratched or bit or cut herself. She has been eating OK throughout but she simply doesn’t tolerate me messing around trying to keep it clean and it’s been a bit of a struggle. I have found that I can break up her pills and mix them with sour cream or Easy Cheese so she’s getting her antibiotics. Other than that she’s still 18 but doing pretty well. As long as she’s eating and eliminating I figure it’s another good day.

      • Thanks, Ebb, but she ain’t “regal”! Prideful? Yes. But it’s the pride of a Cockney streetwalker defending her corner rather than an empress exercising her superiority over “the common clay”.

  7. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) has seen little change in his national favorability ratings since emails were released last week showing that his staff had intentionally caused a massive traffic snarl in a New Jersey town as a form of political payback, according to a HuffPost/YouGov poll.

    No one in this country cares about what they consider a local issue. BFD.

    • It’s not what was done in general in this particular incident that is of concern, but two things: a federal (interstate) bridge was used for political retribution (it clearly was), and it gives insight to the tactics and methods a governor like Christie uses to get what he wants. It’s ugly, and it hurts people in two states. Mine is one of them, and we had no say in his being elected Governor of New Jersey. AND, as a New Yorker, I want to know if MY Governor, Andrew Cuomo, talked with Christie about getting the head of the Port Authority to back off in his investigation into why the bridge lanes were closed for an alleged traffic study (which no one can produce) without his prior knowledge.

      Crimes were committed, both federal and state & local. Someone can and should go to jail. And it’s hard to believe from the evidence that Christie didn’t know what was going on, since virtually every one of his inner circle advisors was in on it. And if Christie did know, then he was in on a conspiracy to commit a crime, which is a felony.

      It certainly is a BFD. :LOL:

  8. Our hills are brown, temp was 72º, we’re heading for a drought if the rain doesn’t start falling in buckets.
    It was a perfect spring day in the winter!

    A good day for sidewalk hunting!
    ?
    My city is in a ‘growth spurt’, meaning: allow old homes and shops with character to be destroyed so the esthetically lacking boxy condos can be built…
    this means old sidewalks may/can be destroyed.
    On my walks I look for old sidewalks that have the construction company, month, day and year of pour. I look for the, relatively scarce, ones from the early (found a December 1909) to mid 20th century.

    People wondered if I was looking for a lost object – then I’d explain about my quest.
    Now I hear them say – oh, it’s just the sidewalk lady.
    Los niños me llaman abuela loca. (some of the kids call me the crazy grandma)

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