This just in: Woman sues fetus for civil rights violation.
A pregnant woman filed a lawsuit today in federal court in Lansing, Michigan, alleging a violation of her civil rights commited by her unborn fetus. The lawsuit claims that the fetus, as a person, is violating her rights under the 13th Amendment, the one that abolishes slavery.
The suit claims that the unborn person residing in her womb is forcing her to tend to its every need, day in and day out, 24/7, causing her great physical and emotional distress.
The suit seeks monetary damages equivalent to the value of a full-time, ’round-the-clock caregiver, as well as compensation for pain and suffering, and emotional distress.
In addition, the suit alleges that the fetus has committed numerous batteries against the woman, repeatedly kicking her womb, causing pain to other internal organs.
In addition to monetary damages, the woman is seeking an immediate restraining order to prohibit the fetus from continuing to feed itself through the umbilical cord, robbing the woman of her nutritional needs, as well as to enjoin the person from further batteries on her person.
A three-judge panel is expected to rule on the injunction by the end of the week.