The Watering Hole, HumpDay, June 4, 2014: Breaking Gnus: Obama to Offer New Prisoner Bargain With the Taliban

Tweeter calls in another Zoo Exclusive

Tweeter calls in another Zoo Exclusive

THIS JUST IN: PRESIDENT OBAMA TO ANNOUNCE NEW PRISONER BARGAIN WITH THE TALIBAN

With polititians and pundits heating up over the prisoner exhange that saw the release of 5 Taliban leaders in exhange for one American Soldier, President Obama is taking a bold step by conducting further discussions aimed towards the release of the remaining 149 or so prisoners still held in Guantanamo. Early reports by annonymous sources indicate that the President is on the verge of making yet another deal with the Taliban.

According to low-level interns in the White House document shredding room, Obama has struck a hard bargain with the renegade Taliban government: for every Republican Senator they agree to take, Obama will release 2 prisoners held at Guantanamo; should the Taliban accept all of the Republican Senators, the remaining prisoners will be exchanged on a one-for-one basis with Republican members of the House of Representatives.

Republicans expressed immediate outrage. “If an American Soldier is worth 5 Taliban, a Senator should be worth at least 10!” one eexclaimed. On the other side of the aisle, a Democratic aide observed “It’s about time we got rid of those terrorists once and for all. They’ve caused more damage to the United States than all the prisoners in Guantanamo put together.”

Senator McCain reportedly commented, “I’ve been a prisoner of war, and I can tell you it is pure hell. Whatever I can do to relieve the suffering of those poor men, I’ll do it.” After an aide whispered in his ear, the Senator continued, “But I’ll be damned if I let this President, or any other President, for that matter, negotiate with Congress, I mean, Terrorists!” His aide then quickly whisked McCain out of the room.

Calls to the White House were met with the standard “The White House can neither confirm nor deny these reports.”

OPEN THREAD

56 thoughts on “The Watering Hole, HumpDay, June 4, 2014: Breaking Gnus: Obama to Offer New Prisoner Bargain With the Taliban

  1. polititians

    Are they red-headed?

    How many do we have to give them to get them to take Lindsey Graham?

  2. DINO for Governor of Alabama Parker Griffith won the Democratic Party primary last night. He got about a third as many votes as the incumbent, Robert Bentley, who easily won the GOP primary.

    About the only way Griffith will get my vote is if I vote the straight ticket like I usually do, which will do it automatically. Griffith won the Alabama 5th in 2008 on Obama’s coattails, then voted against everything the Dems tried to do until he was defeated in 2010. Next election he should run for Commissioner of Roadkill Removal. He might get elected for that.

    • My sense of this is, that in order to be a Democrat in Alabama, one must have a white robe w/hood stashed in one’s closet…for use on special occasions.

  3. McCamy Reports: Bill Kristol’s Project for a NEW New American Century: “Liberate” Cuba’s Doctors

    Inside sources report that conservative William Kristol has a plan for easing the nation’s physician shortage which is estimated to reach 45,000 by 2020. Invade Cuba and “liberate” its doctors. Undeclared presidential candidate and GOP front runner Jeb Bush is said to be “intrigued” by the idea.

    Rather than increasing funding of medical schools, Kristol proposes that the U.S. borrow a page from the Bush/Cheney administration. “Cuba has the highest number of doctors per capita of any country in the world except Italy. Now, Italy is on the other side of the Atlantic. Cuba is just south of Florida. I propose that we invade Cuba, topple its dictator, liberate its doctors and bring them all back to the United States. Health care provider shortage solved. And since they are all bilingual, we’ll save money on interpreters, too.”

    • Killy Bristol must plan on kidnapping a shitload of doctors. There’s no wucking fay on earth they’d trade their medical system for ours…

    • Or they could stop using nepotism to pick and choose who they let into medical school and start accepting the best and brightest and let the government fund them.

  4. Apparently I’ve been extraordinarily renditioned myself, or have done the Time Warp in my sleep.
    Or maybe in the process of firing up the massive new data collection center in Utah a groggy tech in the Word Press Monitoring Division plugged a cable into the wrong socket.
    Anyhoo, hi folks, I see that you are all still alive and well, as am I.
    Stop on by the roost, but please, no blatant political or social commentary, I’m trying to keep my head down…
    Raven

    • Raven! I’ve found myself wondering what happened to you. Glad to hear from you!

      • Good to hear your voices again too… I’ve reinvented myself (again), a farmer now on a small organic farm on the Oregon coast, you can find most of the gory details by clicking on the gravatar at the head of this thread.

        • It’s a beautiful place! Watch out those chickens don’t scratch up your seeds when the soil is dry. I’m glad your not too old to reinvent yourself, it has long been a belief of mine that a person who is not afraid to do so never really grows old. I hope the change will be as satisfying to you as it has been for me.

          • It appears the many skills I’ve acquired through the years of diverse occupations have simply been in preparation for becoming a farmer, they have to know how to do everything!

            • And sometimes they have to do things they have no idea how to do!

      • My Spanish has gotten a little rusty since leaving New Mexico, but I’ll give it a try:
        I’m nicely wrapped in a warm brown yurt, draped with fine Tillamook cheese, and the mole’ hills here pop up faster than I can smack them down.

        • nice to meet you Raven…I’m still in New Mexico and thinking about how this area is going to hell in a hurry. Oil rigs and pump jacks everywhere….I may be gone sooner than later.

          • Sad to hear that your neighborhood is suffering the blight spreading down from the Farmington area… I tried fishing the San Juan but couldn’t hear the trout for the screaming compressors. I don’t have a good feeling about where this is all heading either. My overall objective these days is to have nothing more than a backpack come the end and keep walking until I find a quiet place to cover myself with brush. As for the future generations who will inherit this mess I keep trying to figure out new ways to distract them from the tiny little screens they live their lives through. Be well friend, drop by anytime.

    • That’s a great site you have set up, Raven!

      Certainly are in your element, and
      The gorgeous photos make it seem as if you are in paradise!

      • Thank you Ebb, always good to see you.
        There’s an old Eagles (I think it’s the Eagles) tune with the line “call some place paradise, kiss it goodbye” and it’s the same wherever one travels, here is no different. I am very fortunate, it’s not easy living up against the wilderness at the end of a road, but someone has to be there to tell the starry eyed pilgrims it’s not what they want it to be.
        ‘Adapt or Suffer’.

    • Whoa! “The loving church” certainly does not live up to the Christlike behavior it teaches.
      Exceedingly sad story.

  5. We’re thru the looking glass now:

    “Was there a ransom paid? Did the government of the United States, either directly or indirectly, finance a terrorist organization?” – Oliver North, on the Bergdahl prisoner swap.

    • Maybe for Ollie there’s a difference between giving them money and giving them missiles…

        • Double agent eh? Either way he’s a traitor.
          Following this line of reasoning, whoever writes him his paycheck nowadays is therefore guilty of supporting a traitorist. Wait… maybe they themselves are organized traitorists… this is getting muddled…

        • But, but, but St. Ronny and his faithful lackey Ollie were just trying to help the Iranian’s out and funded the freedom fighting Contra’s. It’s not like we sold weapons to a country who had held Americans hostage or funded death squads.

  6. My little orange icon in the upper right corner next to my name doesn’t work anymore. It just spins and spins when I click on it and it never does load any responses to something I posted.

    Anyone else have that problem?

    • I’m here today because of some very odd glitches with Word-Press…
      ‘Raven’ appeared while logging into my other link, as I followed through the day there were others as Word-Press tied to decide who I was from page to page.
      Much Like Ollie and his double-sided dealings I suppose. Hope I haven’t caught a bug… but maybe as I initially surmised, NSA has a new data dump going on-line and they have some naughty bytes.

  7. Funny, I don’t recall this republican wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth after the previous president released over 200 Gitmo detainees and getting nothing in return during his eight year reign of error and terror.

    Personally I don’t give a flying phuck whether Private Bergdahl deserted or not. One American soldier’s life is worth the lives of five Taliban members. At least in my book.

    For all the republicans in DC and the right wing pundits out there who are so worried and concerned that this deal will lead to more hostage taking of American troops, I have a solution.

    End our perpetual war state. Bring all of our military personnel home AND stop sending our young men and women off to fight and die for wars that have NOTHING to do with OUR freedom or security. Problem solved.

  8. This time of year, graduations and weddings, white doves and or white pigeons are let go into the air .
    I’m uncertain of the symbolism for those ceremonies. it’s a great big signal for the peregrine falcon as easy pickings – whoosh at about 200 mph grabbing that bird right out of the air. I had the great good fortune and privilege to watch the tiercel pluck it right out of the air and then do a mid air transfer to the falcon (it was a talented talent transfer meaning that she turned upside down to grab it from his talent from his old

Comments are closed.