The Watering Hole; Friday June 6 2014; Article II Illustration and Rewrite

Article II, the Second Amendment, reads as follows:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Thanks to the Great State of Texas we now know exactly and precisely what it was that James Madison had in mind when he penned those words way back in 1787. Illustrations follow:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State . . .

Article II a

. . . the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Article II b

I suspect that if Mr. Madison were around today, he would word the amendment a bit differently in order to capture more the essence of 21st century America. My guess is Madison’s rewrite would read (approximately, of course) as follows:

Well-regulated idiocy being necessary to the insecurity of normal people in every state, the right of Teh Stupid to keep and bear arms in restaurants and Home Depots everywhere shall not be infringed.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum



67 thoughts on “The Watering Hole; Friday June 6 2014; Article II Illustration and Rewrite

  1. Why so up in arms, frugal? ///

    With yet another college campus killing and rampage it’s still too soon to talk about taking away/curbing gun rights.

  2. Does the mini-moron is the first picture actually have his finger on the trigger?

    • I honestly can’t decide if it’s “his finger” or “her finger,” but it sure does look like it’s on the trigger. Locked and loaded, armed and ready. Freedom guaranteed. Yuk.

      • I own guns. While I am in favor of regulation, registration, and extensive education regarding them, I do not want the government to confiscate all of them. These people may change my mind.

        • “They” — the insane, the mass murderers, and the toting idiots — indeed have changed my mind. I can no longer think of a single reason for guns to even exist, much less having them concentrated in the hands of idiots.

  3. Clearly the need for some regulation in the first photo…

    …and, momentarily distracted from their vigilance of the racks overhead, Gopher Pyle and Sgt. Garter patrol the aisles of their local Sam’s Klub, keeping shoppers safe from snipers. They were allowed to choose their urban camo outfits from the half-off racks.
    “They even let me keep the hat!” Gopher churked.
    Sgt. Garter smugly offered “My Grampy is a US Senator, and I don’t take no prisoners either.”

  4. All this ‘open carry’ can lead people into a sense of complacency when they see someone armed to the hilt walk into a crowded store, thus allowing the real nutcases the opportunity to go anywhere and open fire. One of these days, we’re going to see a mass killing where multiple people open fire on the crowds and each other.

    • Good point… just imagine Black Friday in the sporting goods department…

      • Black Friday has moved to Thursday, with some stores opening on Thanksgiving Day. All part of the War on Christmas, don’cha know…

        • Tough slog, keeping up on the latest battlefronts.
          Praise the Hoard and pass the competition.

    • Looks like a realization of the movie Idiocracy. In the name of the Second Amendment, which was clearly aimed at a ‘WELL REGULATED MILITIA”, circa 1780’s, we find stoopid carried to the nth extreme.
      We now find 21st century America populated by way too many tiny penises desperately seeking to display other manhood indicators.
      Sad, sad, sad. If those morons had to actually defend themselves with that weaponry, the result would be lots of holes in ceilings, walls and floors, plus various undergarment laundry needs.

  5. yeah well….i’ve got a lot of UNsecret documents that prove Fox News lies.

    Fox News: ‘Secret Documents’ Claim Bergdahl Became A ‘Warrior’ For Islam

    Fox News reported Thursday on what it described as “secret documents” showing Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl converted to Islam and even declared himself a “warrior” for the religion during his five years of captivity.

    Citing “secret documents prepared on the basis of a purported eyewitness account,” Fox’s James Rosen wrote that Bergdahl had a roller-coaster experience after he was captured in 2009.

    There were times, according to Rosen, when Bergdahl was “treated very much like a hostage,” and other times the soldier bonded with his captors and was even allowed to carry a gun.

    According to the report, Bergdahl managed to escape for five days at one point and. After he was re-captured, he was reportedly locked in a cage “like an animal.”

    The documents indicate that intelligence officials were aware of the conversion by August of 2012, at which time Bergdahl was describing himself as a “mujahid.” He also apparently played soccer with his captors at the time and appeared “to be well and happy.”

    • I disposed of my ‘secret fox news document’ with a flush of the commode this AM.

    • What if it were true? Would it matter? Five years of who knows what might break anyone. How many of our POWs in past wars have been forced to participate in propaganda? How many hostages of necessity develop some sort of relationship with their captors. I’m sure all the Foxites think they would never doubt their deeply held principles in that sort of situation, but that’s just arrogant. Can we really even be certain the Taliban we swapped have not also been compromised during the time we held them?

      • Exactly. McCain signed confessions of war crimes and made propaganda movies for his captors and is still treated like an effing hero.

      • Plus the one point ALL the haters seem to miss, that for some really odd reason, EVERYONE in this country is presumed INNOCENT until proven guilty in a court of law.

        Interesting how so little of the constitutional format applies when it gets in the way of their sole motivation, i.e. hating and/or getting rid of Obama.

        • I swear there are local folks who claim to love ‘Merika who will defend an authority figure accused of misdeeds with the “innocent ’til proven guilty” and in the next minute comment that someone arrested for drugs should be locked away immediately to keep children safe. Even if you point out the inherent dishonesty in that, they still don’t get it.

  6. Just in case TtTurtle is busy at work today.

    Rude Pundit – In Brief: Time Magazine Really Shouldn’t Go Down This Road

    That’s really a question, Time (motto: “Instant Nostalgia”)? Was Bowe Bergdahl worthy of being swapped for five Taliban detainees? Or maybe was it “worth it” to make a deal to get an American soldier home? And it’s a question that lots and lots of people are asking, since, in the worst case, six other soldiers died on patrols that included looking for Bowe Bergdahl. But if we’re gonna go down the big ol’ “what if” highway, if we’re gonna ask if something that’s already done was worth the cost of doing it, well, shit, if we’re gonna play, let’s play:

  7. My sister and husband live in Kansas and he travels worldwide for his business. He’s Scottish and pretty nonplussed about most things that make my sister verklempt. So, she relayed this today:

    “He came home from Argentina via Atlanta, and after 15 minutes in the house, he casually said, “Kathleen Sebelius was on my flight”.

    “What? Did you talk to her??”
    “No, she was two rows in front of me, across the aisle. And she had bodyguards.”
    “In ECONOMY??”
    “Yeah, of course. So?”

  8. A man accidentally shot and killed himself while driving Wednesday afternoon down a Tennessee highway, Chattanooga TV station WTVC reported.
    Tennessee Man Accidentally Shoots, Kills Self While Driving

    James Anthony McKenzie, 49, shot himself in the thigh with a .45 caliber handgun as he drove, Meigs County Detective Scott Wiggins said. A call came in for deputies to respond to a seizure, he said, but when they arrived McKenzie had apparently bled to death from the wound in his thigh.

    The man was in the car alone, according to WTVC, and deputies were trying to determine how the gun discharged. McKenzie held a valid permit for the firearm.

    • To paraphrase a line from ‘The Magnificent Seven’, he may not have elected himself the winner of the next Darwin Award, but he did nominate himself pretty good.

    • Good to know the femoral artery bleed out was caused by a “valid permitted weapon”//.

    • Hopefully his family is in proper financial condition to suffer the consequences of his gun fetish. Perhaps a lesson to other gunnuttia. Buy more life insurance. Preferably with a higher priority than ammo.
      One might suspect the individual was a distant relation to Alexander Dumas.

    • I do believe Lily Von Schtupp had one of those strapped on during her famous rendition of “I’m Tired”. I’m pretty sure I spotted it when she used her boot to kick “Tex Ma’am” on his ass when he tried to climb on the stage.

      • Was this some country music drag show? I’ll have look Lily up. On the google I mean… -chuckle-
        There was a news story recently, forget (thankfully) where I read it, but some dude wearing one of these codpieces lost both his ‘nads playing with his shooter…

  9. Fox News host to guest: “Neil de Grasse Tyson says alien life may think we are unintelligent after seeing our television signals.”

    Guest, the co-founder of VICE: “White liberal nerds love this guy so much, he could defecate on them like Martin Bashir’s fantasies and they would dance in the streets. All he does is, he’s drunk with adulation.

    • I just got to watch the most recent episode of Cosmos and the seething rage makes perfect sense. Professor DeGrasse Tyson efficiently destroyed all the right-wing talking points in a matter of minutes. If there’s anything that riles up a rightwhiner it’s calmly proving him/her wrong. Of course; they will never admit they are wrong. They will just keep repeating the same old PRATT until they are drowned by rising seas or choked by the dust of the Great Midwestern Desert.

      • That’s one reason the RW nuttia hate him. Did we mention, he’s dark skinned?

  10. Gotta wonder if the tough guy on the left in the Home Depot photo claims to have stolen that AK 47 off a dead NVA soldier. Course, he was in diapers during Nam, but hell, what’s a few lies among tough guys.

    • Actually, he looks too young for a Nam-era diaper. I’m guessing maybe a Nam-era gleam in the eye at best, and that he happened shortly after the guy with the gleam’s voice changed.

  11. An extension on the story bdmm posted the other day:

    800 dead babies are probably just the beginning

    For those who survived, the psychological trauma has endured. Philomena and thousands like her were forced to look after their babies for up to four years, bonding with them before they were taken away to be adopted

  12. Genius has limits.
    Stupidity does not.
    Too bad he didn’t Darwin out.

    • I’ll give him half a point for saying “negligent discharge” rather than “accidental” but I take away 10 points for blithely claiming “negligent discharges just happen”. If this guy wasn’t stupidly practicing his quick draw the gun would have never gone off.

  13. Slicky Beans?
    Who in the hell has a friend named Slicky Beans?
    This guy is not firing on all eight cylinders.

  14. Only had to add one word, subtracted nine words. Could this work?

    A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

    “the right of the people [in] A well regulated Militia to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.”

    Anyone have an email address for the Constitutional Amendment Rewriting Bureau InterNet Email (aka CARBINE)?

  15. Fox hires Roger Stone as contributor, who once ran an anti-Hillary group called Citizens United Not Timid.

    Stay classy, Fox.

    • Gun freedom is not enough. One must be a sovereign in his own right. No one can tell these supermen what to do or how to live. Being forced to have a drivers’ license is a affront. Defend your freedom to be an asshole to the worms, life will go on without you.

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