The Watering Hole; Thursday June 19 2014; Wingnut News Edition

It’s been a heavy week for “news” in Wingnuttistan. So much going on, so little time to . . . well, you know. In the interest of brevity I’ve scaled my selections back from several thousand to just two, given that the virtue of brevity is its ability to always allow the full essence of Teh Stupid to be appropriately sprawled over even less space than, say, the head of a pin?

In that spirit, the first of the pair to follow clearly doesn’t define stupidity’s ultimate pinnacle (we leave that for the second), but in terms of this week’s Wingnuttistanian media blather it’s gotta fall somewhere in the top fifty, give or take one or two. And in a world where nut voices clearly outnumber singing voices in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir by a factor of five or ten times, this one is definitely UP THERE!!

Therefore and without further ado, here’s a link to a Wall Street Journal “opinion” column written by the father-daughter Cheney braniacs named Lick and Diz Dick and Liz, resp. It’s entitled The Collapsing Obama Doctrine, and clearly stands TALL as proof that the Cheney’s wisdom sprawl is the approximate equivalent of that embraced by a pair of (small) . . . ummm . . . round and spent stones?

Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many. Too many times to count, Mr. Obama has told us he is “ending” the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan—as though wishing made it so. His rhetoric has now come crashing into reality. Watching the black-clad ISIS jihadists take territory once secured by American blood is final proof, if any were needed, that America’s enemies are not “decimated.” They are emboldened and on the march.

The fall of the Iraqi cities of Fallujah, Tikrit, Mosul and Tel Afar, and the establishment of terrorist safe havens across a large swath of the Arab world, present a strategic threat to the security of the United States. Mr. Obama’s actions—before and after ISIS’s recent advances in Iraq—have the effect of increasing that threat.

Damn Obama, the demise of both Iraq and Amurka is clearly his doing! And after me and Dubsy worked so hard to make ’em both FREE and GREAT!

Good ol’ Dick, heartless bastard that he is. But . . . “News Edition”? I dunno, maybe the title would work better as, say, “New Sedition”? Yeah. I like that. Wingnuttistan New Sedition — a topic heading with a future!.

And speaking of Dicks, next comes this one: Yet Another Responsible Gun Owner Shoots His Own [Cheney?]

A man in Macon, Georgia accidentally shot himself in the penis while attempting to holster his gun last week.

According to WMAZ Channel 13, the man was parked at a gas station and was attempting to put away the .45 caliber pistol when it discharged, striking him in the groin.The man immediately drove to a friend’s house.

According to police, the victim dropped his pants to find that he had shot himself in the penis and that the bullet had exited his body through the buttocks. As he disrobed, the spent round fell to the floor.

It “fell to the floor” ?? IT was “round” and “spent” ?? Yep, that’s Wingnuttistanian allright! So Yee-Haw!! to neutered gun nuts everywhere! But wait, “News Edition“? Nah, sounds too much like ‘News Addition.‘ Better to just do the Gun Nut math and call it, instead, a “New Subtraction.” Yep, I like that. One New Sedition, one New Subtraction. Comical, descriptive, brief, accurate — extremely non-Wingnuttistanian — save, of course, for those telling words — “comical, descriptive, brief,” and “accurate.”

Wingnuttistanians defined. Dickless Tracy personified? 😯


56 thoughts on “The Watering Hole; Thursday June 19 2014; Wingnut News Edition

  1. Author Daniel Keyes, whose novel “Flowers for Algernon” became a classroom staple that explored the treatment of the mentally disabled and the ethics of manipulating human intelligence, has died, his family said. He was 86.

  2. St. Louis Post-Dispatch Dumps George Will

    Starting today, Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson replaces George Will on Thursdays and Sundays.


    The change has been under consideration for several months, but a column published June 5, in which Mr. Will suggested that sexual assault victims on college campuses enjoy a privileged status, made the decision easier. The column was offensive and inaccurate; we apologize for publishing it.

    It will remain to be seen if Gerson is less misogynist than George Will in the long run. More major newspapers need to dump Will before he gets the message.

    • Sooner or later the GOP and their mouthpieces will learn that rape is a violent, traumatizing crime, not a ‘joy ride’.
      Shame on George.

  3. Megyn Kelly to Dick Cheney on Fox News: “Time and time again, history has proven that you got it wrong as well in Iraq, sir. You said there was no doubt Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. You said we would be greeted as liberators. You said the insurgency was in its last throes back in 2005, and you said that after our intervention, extremists would have to ‘rethink their strategy of jihad.’ Now, with almost a trillion dollars spent there, with almost 4,500 American lives lost there, what do you say to those who say you were so wrong about so much at the expense of so many?”

    “No, I just fundamentally disagree, Reagan — I mean, Megyn,” Cheney replied.

    Insert your own joke here.


    What they fail to mention: The diapers they are changing are, John “oops I crapped my pants” McCain and Joe “soggy pant load” Arpaio.
    The 47,000 children alleged to have crossed into the U.S. illegally are all potty trained and more than capable of using toilet facilities.
    It’s the demented old coots that have clung tenuously to their delusional concept of reality that is over burdening the system.

    • Arpaio believes President Barack Obama knew this influx of illegal immigrants was going to happen in an effort to push forward immigration reform.

      What a President, Obama is able to see the future, and bring about crises on cue!

  5. In a video introducing their new 501(c), Dick and Liz provide what should be SNL’s opening skit this Saturday:

  6. Deja vu all over again, 1961 style.

    Obama expected to deploy 100 Green Berets to Iraq

    President Barack Obama will speak about the situation in Iraq from the White House Thursday afternoon.

    A U.S. official says Obama is expected to announce the deployment of about 100 Green Berets to Iraq to help train and advise the Iraqi forces. The official insisted on anonymity because this person was not authorized to publicly discuss the plan ahead of Obama’s announcement.

  7. The Senate just did something good. The upper chamber just confirmed a black gay man to be a federal judge. This may not sound like a big deal to you but trust me on this, it really is.

    Darrin Gayles, who was a Florida circuit court judge until this morning, is now a U.S. District Judge for the Southern District of Florida.

    Two Republicans voted to end a filibuster of Gayles’ nomination. That’s right, two of the 45 GOP Senators voted to move his nomination forward for a final vote. How pathetic is that? In the end he received a 98-0 confirmation vote.

    This reminds me of that debacle down in Richmond, Virginia last year when state Delegate Bob Marshall failed to scuttle Tracy Thorne-Begland’s nomination to be a circuit judge. Marshall called Thorne-Begland, a former Navy jet pilot, “an aggressive activist for the pro-homosexual agenda.” This is beyond the pale frankly. Thorne-Begland was eventually confirmed by the Virginia Senate with a 28-0 vote and twelve GOP state senators abstaining from voting. No profiles in courage here.

    It seems the GOP senators, on both the state and federal level, just don’t like gay and black people. I wonder why that is. After the GOP did its autopsy report back in January 2013 (following President Obama’s five million vote winning margin over Mittens Romney), you’d think they would want to welcome blacks and gays and latinos into their “big tent.” Nah, the sad reality is one day the GOP is going to wake up (well, maybe not anytime in the near future but one day) and smell the coffee. The country will have left them behind in the 20th century and they’ll have to rebuild themselves back into a viable political party. Just don’t hold your breath please or you’ll turn as blue as

  8. A new Gallup survey finds just 7 percent of Americans have a high level of confidence in Capitol Hill — that’s low even by congressional standards.

    Not only is the figure the lowest since Gallup started asking the question in 1973, but it’s the lowest for any U.S. institution on record.

    About a third of Americans reported having “some” confidence in Congress. But just 7 percent reported having a “great deal” and “quite a lot.”

    Compare that with public sentiment toward the military (three in four Americans have high confidence) or small business (62 percent have high confidence).

    Faith in Congress is taking a body blow after a stretch where the public has perceived the institution as doing very little, gripped by partisan gridlock and struggling to pass even routine measures.

    The poll of 1,027 adults was conducted June 5-8, and had a margin of error of 4 percentage points.

      • Some people become cops so they can have a license to kill.
        Humans or otherwise.
        I have no explanation other than the fact that I think they are wired wrong.

  9. The irony is too rich. The war in Iraq was designed to bring democracy and sovereignty to that nation after Saddam’s dictatorship. That was what we were told from the get-go, along with the alleged threat of non-existent WMD. Thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis died in the fiasco. Iraq elected a prime minister, Maliki, and re-elected him in fair elections.

    Now it appears Obama wants him gone. Poof. It’s buyer’s remorse. So the whole pretext of Iraqi democracy was a sham, and we now know this without a shadow of a doubt. The next leader of Iraq will be picked in Washington, and not by the people of that country. The right of an elected government to govern for better or worse, will be rendered null and void.

    The CIA’s previous regime changes in the Middle East? Anyone….anyone…?


  10. Ruh Roh!….

    WASHINGTON — Prosecutors allege that Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) was at the center of a criminal conspiracy to illegally coordinate the activities of independent conservative groups during recall elections in his state in 2011 and 2012, according to documents released Thursday and first reported on by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

    Prosecutors contend in the documents that Walker had direct knowledge that his top deputies R.J. Johnson and Deborah Jordahl were involved in the alleged illegal coordination between the Walker campaign and 12 conservative groups.

    The documents, part of a John Doe investigation, were unsealed in a lawsuit brought by the Wisconsin Club for Growth, the central player in the alleged illegal coordination, and other groups seeking to halt the investigation as a violation of their First Amendment rights. The prosecutors’ allegations are based on extensive testimony and findings from the parties involved.

    In one unsealed email from Walker to Karl Rove, chief political strategist to former President George W. Bush and founder of the well-funded independent groups American Crossroads and Crossroads GPS, the governor described Johnson’s alleged role in coordinating Republican efforts in the recall elections.

    “Bottom line: R.J. helps keep in place a team that is wildly successful in Wisconsin,” Walker wrote to Rove. “We are running 9 recall elections and it will be like running 9 Congressional markets in every market in the state (and Twin Cities.)”…..more

    Johnson sent Walker a document saying that the Wisconsin Club for Growth’s activities in the recall elections were overseen by “operative R.J. Johnson and Deborah Jordahl, who coordinated spending through 12 different groups. Most spending by other groups were directly funded by grants from the Club.”

    According to an affidavit, Johnson stated, “We own [Club for Growth].”

    Other affidavits referenced in the documents allege that Walker aides Mary Stitt and Kelly Rindfleisch were involved in raising money for both the recall campaigns and the Wisconsin Club for Growth. A fundraising consultant, Kate Doner, also coordinated fundraising for the Walker campaign and the Wisconsin Club for Growth, according to the documents.

    • Hi Ebb. That is something I didn’t know. Sad bird news: Crows have a nest in our neighbours tree and we have been watching them and waiting for the young ones to fly off hoping to see the first flight. Today I came home to find a young one that, for reasons that escape me, didn’t make it. It was about 60 feet from the tree and by our house on the sidewalk. One of the parents was not happy when I removed it. There is at least one more in the nest, maybe two. Very hard to tell.

      • Sad about that little one.
        The flying is innate – the landings are imprecise. Wonder if it was accidentally bumped from the nest by a sibling! They can get rambunctious practicing the flap, flap, flap strengthening the wings.

        • I think it was more than a bump given the distance from the tree. We have seen them on the limbs of the tree flapping and flapping. I think it was a failed landing. Scout wasn’t out but the neighbour’s dog was. The little crow may have got on the ground in their yard and then who knows what could happen!!

  11. “Military Advisers” being sent to Iraq… here we go again.
    Commander in Chief Codpiece hasn’t had anything to say yet that I’ve heard, maybe he’s still huddled in the shower with his self portraits.
    Knowing he was ceremoniously presented with the pistol Saddam Hussein was found clutching, it must have the bluing about worn off by now.
    “Preciousss, my preciousssss, yessssss…”

    • Has there ever been a case where our military advisers made any difference in the outcome, other than their presence leading to an escalation of our involvement?

      • None. Zero, zip, nada.
        This is how Vietnam started out and who knows how many before and since.
        There is a parallel in the eastern Ukraine, the “little green men” from Russia, no insignia on their uniforms, always there in the background egging the insurgents on.
        I’m going to assume the US’s little camo men will be the ground intelligence radioing back to Drone Control, calling in the strikes.

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