Walker, the Zoo’s underground investigative journalist, recently dug up an interesting paper, tossed into the garbage along with several empty cans of spray-on tan. While the paper does not indicate who authored it, it does appear to be a draft of pleadings in the much publicized Boehner lawsuit he plans to file against President Obama:
IN THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Boehner v. Obama
- Plaintiff JOHN BOEHNER is a natural person with unnaturally orange skin. Orange is not the new black. BOEHNER is the Speaker of the House of Representatives.
- Defendant BARACK OBAMA is a natural person, born in Kenya and the illegitimate President of the United States.
- Article III of the United States Constitution grants the United States Supreme Court original jurisdiction over all cases in which a public minister is a party. Since OBAMA claims to be the President of the United States, he is a Public Minister for Article III purposes.
CAUSE OF ACTION FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF
- OBAMA is not doing everything I and the Republican Majority in the House wants him to do.
- OBAMA continues to enforce and implement OBAMACARE.
PRAYER FOR RELIEF
Wherefore, Plaintiff prays this court:
- Order OBAMA to do everything I want him to do;
- Issue an injunction to block the implementation of OBAMACARE; and
- Order an investigation of BENGHAZI.
John A. Boehner,
Speaker of the United States House of Representatives
Second in the Line of Succession to the Presidency
Savior of the People
Holder of the Sacred Trust