The Watering Hole: Wednesday, July 2, 2014: BREAKING GNUS: Boehner v. Obama leaked!

Walker, The Zoo's underground investigative journalist.

Walker, The Zoo’s underground investigative journalist.

Walker, the Zoo’s underground investigative journalist, recently dug up an interesting paper, tossed into the garbage along with several empty cans of spray-on tan. While the paper does not indicate who authored it, it does appear to be a draft of pleadings in the much publicized Boehner lawsuit he plans to file against President Obama:

IN THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Boehner v. Obama

GENERAL ALLEGATIONS

PARTIES:

  1. Plaintiff JOHN BOEHNER is a natural person with unnaturally orange skin. Orange is not the new black. BOEHNER is the Speaker of the House of Representatives.
  2. Defendant BARACK OBAMA is a natural person, born in Kenya and the illegitimate President of the United States.

JURISDICTION

  1. Article III of the United States Constitution grants the United States Supreme Court original jurisdiction over all cases in which a public minister is a party. Since OBAMA claims to be the President of the United States, he is a Public Minister for Article III purposes.

CAUSE OF ACTION FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF

  1. OBAMA is not doing everything I and the Republican Majority in the House wants him to do.
  2. OBAMA continues to enforce and implement OBAMACARE.
  3. BENGHAZI.

PRAYER FOR RELIEF

Wherefore, Plaintiff prays this court:

  1. Order OBAMA to do everything I want him to do;
  2. Issue an injunction to block the implementation of OBAMACARE; and
  3. Order an investigation of BENGHAZI.

Respectfully,

John A. Boehner,

Speaker of the United States House of Representatives
Second in the Line of Succession to the Presidency
Savior of the People
Holder of the Sacred Trust

OPEN THREAD

34 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, July 2, 2014: BREAKING GNUS: Boehner v. Obama leaked!

  1. The current SCOTUS takes 20 minutes to proclaim: we speak for the Repugnant Party , Hobby Lobby some of the corporate citizens and Impeaching the POTUS is okeydokey .

    • Commercial fisherman.
      Where do I begin?
      They will clean out a reef and the draggers will clog it with nets regardless of bans.
      Then there’s this microcephalic over compensating for a tiny dick.
      http://www.news-journalonline.com/article/20140621/SPORTS/140629961
      Wow!. You got your picture in the news paper.
      Please deduct that from what little 15 minutes you have remaining.

      Bleach divers, dynamite netting, sediment and fertilizer run off.

      • Big ‘heman’ catching a lethargic female Bull Shark about to give birth!
        Way to go.

        • There are three options, I believe. I can order a bottle of Ocean and get a bronze glow or I could fantasize about the woman or I could wait for delivery of the Ocean and then fantasize about the glorious features on that sexy, gorgeous, curvaceous crafting of feminine beauty, while applying the cool moist lotion liberally as I at first gently …….. Aaaahhhh!😳

  2. SCOTUS Orders Hobby Lobby Outcome To Apply To All ACA-Approved Contraceptives

    If you thought the Hobby Lobby case only applied to those contraceptives which wingnuts sincerely believe cause abortions, think again. All contraceptive methods are covered by the decision. I’m sure glad Justice Kennedy didn’t see this as a broad mandate or anything like that.

    I hope I’m wrong, but I have the deepening suspicion that in the very near future if not already, the “S” in SCOTUS will be understood to stand for Seditionist, not Supreme.

  3. The “librul media” caught on live mic. As the angry gentlemen in the video point out; if a “journalist” knows a guest is full of shit and doesn’t point that out to the viewers he/she is not a journalist.

  4. Burger King Sells ‘Proud Whopper’ in San Francisco

    Burger King is celebrating gay pride with a message on its Whopper wrappers.

    The fast-food chain says it will post a video online Wednesday that shows scenes from a San Francisco location where it sold a “Proud Whopper.” Customers were not told what is in the burger, which comes wrapped in rainbow paper. Once opened up, a message inside the wrapper states, “We are all the same inside.”

    The idea is that the Proud Whopper is no different from the regular Whopper, despite its colorful packaging.

    The marketing effort is part of Burger King’s push to connect with customers in a more meaningful way, particularly with the younger individuals fast-food chains are known for courting. As part of that push, Burger King recently said it was retiring its “Have It Your Way” slogan in favor of the more personal “Be Your Way” (Ad Age pointed out the phrase was “grammatically challenged”).

    • “…Burger King’s push to connect with customers in a more meaningful way…”

      A good place to start would be at least sort of hot food; and french fries that don’t require having to go back in, get disgusted looks from the workers and have to wait another 15 minutes to get fresh ones.

  5. Let the exemptions commence! Even though the whole idea of special treatment for religious nuttery makes me sick I am also looking forward to some of the creative exemptions that will be claimed in the wake of the recent SCOTUS decision. Heck! I’m considering forming a corporation that makes no products, performs no services, and hires no workers just so that I can file a case to protect my “right” to discriminate against Catholics because they violate my religious principles. It would be fun to watch the old cranks on the court give themselves whiplash making 180 degree turns.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/religious-groups-lgbt-hiring-hobby-lobby

    • The effen 5 should be made to live in the hell they’ve created!
      Need to see the swirling mess in the toilet bowl…and clean it up (yes, I’m aware as if that would ever happen)

  6. Cats and I are off to Newport, to drop off a wholesale order to a shop on the Bayfront. Y’all try not to be jealous that we’re headed to the ocean on a beautiful day, okay? 😉

    Laters!

  7. A petition has begun to rename Reagan Airport after USA soccer goalie Tim Howard.

    Heh.

  8. HuffPo:

    “A press conference call for Sen. Thad Cochran’s (R-Miss.) re-election campaign turned into a fiasco on Wednesday when an unidentified caller began asking whether Cochran improperly “harvested” votes from African-Americans like “black people harvesting cotton.”

    According to several reporters, Austin Barbour, a GOP operative and adviser to Cochran’s campaign who was speaking before the interruption, shut down the call after repeated interruptions by the unidentified caller. A shouting match ensued with the remaining callers on the line, and some suggested that either the Cochran campaign had “planted” the question, or perhaps “even Obama” was to blame.”

    Is there no end to the machinations of Obama?

  9. Protesters in Murrieta Block Detainees’ Buses in Tense Standoff

    A crowd of 200 to 300 people in downtown Murrieta surrounded three buses carrying immigrant detainees Tuesday afternoon, causing the buses to turn around before they reached a Border Patrol station in the Riverside County city.

    Waving Americans flags and protest signs, the crowd refused to give way when the buses arrived with some 140 detainees from Texas, which has seen a flood of Central American immigrants cross the border in recent weeks without legal permission.

    I’m sure y’all have seen this already, I’m just posting it to make a point. It’s time for this Administration to use force on these unlawful mobs that think they are ‘entitled’ to impose their will on society. Recently, it was Cliven Bundy and the mob that gathered there. That was the Bureau Of Land Management, enforcing a valid law and rightful forfeiture of property. Now, another enforcement arm of the Federal Government, the US Border Patrol, gets confronted with another angry mob, incited by an elected official, Mayor Alan Long of Murrieta, California. This mayor should be in the custody of Federal Marshals. It’s time for the rule of law to ‘stand its ground’.

    • It’s time for the rule of law to ‘stand its ground’.

      The truth is written!

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