In the face of lingering, and growing racial tensions in Ferguson over the police shooting of an unarmed African-American, a new and highly unusual edict has come down from the chief of police: Shoot Unarmed White People. The order reveals the hope that by killing unarmed white people, the Ferguson police department will no longer be seen as racists.
It suggests targeting senior citizens pulled over for traffic citations, any white teen wearing a hoodie, and young mothers with children. Targeting these demographics, the memo continued, should result in tremendous public outcry, overshadowing recent events where people of color in Ferguson and elsewhere in this great country were gunned down without apparent provocation. The police chief’s order also reminded officers to yell out a commmand, such as “Stop or I’ll shoot” at least a split second before, not after, opening fire. This, the memo said, would provide the necessary legal cover to defeat any lawsuits.
The memo concluded with P.S. DO NOT LEAK THIS MEMO TO THE PRESS.
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