It’s that time of year again — the President will paint a sunny picture of the state of this nation, and will talk about things he’d like to do this year, even though he knows this Congress isn’t going to do anything thing but keep his veto pen busy. Fun times.
Who will heckle the President this year? Which SCOTUS members will be present and absent? How many times will the Dems pop up for applause, and how many times will the Repubs boo? Which Fox “News” pundit will trash the speech before it’s even given? How many members of Congress will be spending time on their phones, instead of giving the President the slightest bit of respect?
It’s open season, when live-blogging on TheZoo, on the Prez and Congress, which means everything is fair game: Clothes, ties, hair-dos, hugs, praising the POTUS for good stuff, and giving him hell for bad stuff. Knock yourselves out, Zoosters.
Make sure you stay tuned for the Repub and Tea Party responses to the SOTU, because Sen Joni Ernst, the pig castrater from Iowa, will be hollering the Repub response; and Rep Curt Clawson, the clueless they can’t be from Amurka if their skin is brown and they have funny names idiot from Florida, will confidently spew Teabagger crapola.
I’m not encouraging drinking games, but feel free to BYOB and party on. I’ll be abstaining from the evils of drink this evening, so I’ll make sure y’all are laying on your sides, and will turn out the lights when I leave. We don’t want a repeat of last year’s SOTU party — whatever might have happened…
TheZoo 
First!
Sorry I couldn’t help myself. Like a dog that knows you have a treat in your pocket.
Had I been quicker, I would have done the same myself. But, as a fan of comedian Chris Hardwick, I would have used “Firsties!”
Ha! Had no idea who Chris Hardwick was but having looked him up, I have seen him somewhere! I think on a stand up show. Firsties is good. “Top of the heap” for the next time!
He’s moving up in the world, has his own show “@midnight” on Comedy Central. Bill Maher had him on last week.
Gotta go steam some spinach (or maybe broccoli) before the speech.
I’m keeping up with the speech through y’all’s comments, so don’t hold back. I’ll be home about 9:45pm Zoo time.
Watch the SOTU here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/sotu
He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient;…
It says NOTHING about anybody being required to give any kind of response, let alone a small faction of one of the parties that doesn’t conference with them much.
Will you do TheZoo response, Wayne? 😉
I’ll be live tweeting, as usual, and I can post my tweets here, if you like.
Please do!
Will it be on TV? ‘Cause only then will I watch any of it. I will rely on the Zoo’s excellent commentary.
I’m sure it will be on the major networks, unless Survivor or Dancing With the Stars is on.
Obama to Address Extremist Group (Borowitz):
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-address-extremist-group
*snort*
If this was the Socialist-Marxist-Fascist-Communist-Dictatorship of popular right wing nutcase rumor, anyone who heckles Obama will be carted off to Gitmo and tortured, never to be seen again.
I wonder if Boner is browner today than he was at his recent swearing-in?
If you’d like to read the speech, here it is:
The ladies are favoring blue jackets this evening, with several wearing various shades of pink. Did I miss the red carpet?
I missed most of the ‘cameo appearances.” Blue (deep royal blue) flatters almost every complexion/hair color.
OMG, three ladies right in a row wearing the same shade of pink. Horrors!
One lady is in cobalt blue sequins. Classy!
Is Code Pink there in force?
Oh fuck, lost the picture.
It’s back. Why do I care…?
Oh yeah, fashion commentary…
For an introvert, he still knows how to work a crowd.
He sure hasn’t gotten gray.
It’s his house. 😉
Oh gawd, Obama just bowed to another extremist group.
Boner is slurring. And darker than the President.
Boner always looks as if he’s going to hurl any second.
He’s a very unhappy drunk.
And he blew his fuckin’ nose. Asshole.
Picky picky. 😉
Yay, rich people are doing really well!!!
Ohhhhh, there are charts on the sidebar!
How many of the SCOTUS are there?
They mentioned earlier that at least Scalia wasn’t coming, I’m not focusing on the teevee machine much.
They got the Corporate Suite
“The shadow of crisis has passed…”
Oh gawd, he jinxed us.
“The State of our Union is Strong” blah blah – has any President ever said that it was weak?
Only the honest ones.
Oh wait…
Actually, for the first time in any of his SOTUs, Obama is calling the state of the union “strong.”
Thanks, I’ll check it out later.
The TPP will stick a shiv in the back of the middle class, just sayin’.
Mrs Obama bought her dress at a car upholsterer’s shop, I guess.
Okay, now I’ll HAVE to watch! 🙂
Heh.
11 million new jobs! Repiggies sit there.
I paid $1.99 a gallon today.
Yay, Obamacare!!!!!!!!
The repiggies sit there.
low gas prices are key to his polling recovery. Muricans are dumb.
Very. His popularity will be in the toilet by summer.
Who did he wink at!? It wasn’t me.
It was me. Don’t tell Wayne.
Shit. He’s always winking at you. *grump*
Boehner is dying for some scotch.
Thought the same thing.
I wonder, what’s that shade he’s wearing? “Toasted Almond”?
Did he say “mustache”? Or was it “must-haves”?
How many times will Joni Ernst say ‘testicles’ in her rebuttal?
I bet she works in “castration” at least a couple times.
Heh, good thing I swallowed my coffee before I read those two. Mini-spit-take.
btw, Boehner’s face is actually darker than Obama’s.
LOL
Had to get soup. What did I miss?
Kidding. 😉
This is like church with standing and applause.
Repiggies don’t give a shit about middle class families.
They care about their up-coming lobbyist job and fetuses.
Is it over yet?
Am I still here?
Education? Bah!
That’s what the bible is for!
A Madrassa in every town in Amurka! Madrassa’s right isn’t it?
I’d take him up on the community college thing.
It’s funny how a Psych degree isn’t worth spit.
Boner loves a colonoscopy more.
I duly read this before watching the SOTU address. Now I’m regretting my over indulgence of yesterday evening. Shoulda come to the zoo, instead of the Lebanese restaurant. More fun. And the red wine gave me nightmares, too.
Anyone know who the guy with the white fringe is? He’s kind of behind the joint chiefs.
He reminds me of my dad.
Who has the joint?
Fined for contempt. 😉
Woot! A 2-finger penalty?
Bring your toothbrush.
I’m out of papers, but I have a pipe!
Smoke em if you got em
Bong here.
“Joint Chefs”? Someone making snacks?
No Zooey saw some Native Americans with a spliff…. you rock Cochise!
Don’t make me break out more “dad quotes,” you incorrigible knuckleheads*!
*dad quote
Hey, the homeless Vets encampment in Eugene looks pretty spiffy. Nice tents.
A GOP FLOTUS would have George Zimmerman as her guest.
Ohhhh, a veteran…not a veterinarian.
I have some apologies to make…
Infrastructure?
But the media makes so much money in ad revenue when a bridge falls down!
Boehner won’t stand cuz he’s afraid he’ll tip over.
I love Dr. Jill Biden and Dr. Elizabeth Warren almost as much as I love a certain butterfly, and that’s a tall order. 😉
Pachy!!
No more fucking trade deals!!!!
Oh, apparently Boehner is nursing a cold. Good thing he has healthcare.
He’s got a glass of scotch in his pocket – he dunks the handkerchief into the scotch and snorts it. He wasn’t blowing his nose, he was snorting scotch.
That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
I keep trying to picture an asparagus sitting where Boehner is.
Portobello mushroom.
I want cheaper internet.
Emigrate
Scotland?
Boner would want to go to Scotchland.
I think Scotland has already come to him. ;-p
Make that
X X
o
-v-
what’s not to like cheap internet, short hairy legged trolls in skirts and deep fried Mars Bars..?
Clearly, we have different google searches on Scotland.
It’s not all Mel Gibson with no keks on you know – that was just a movie 😉
I have better taste than that!
Billy Connolly in tidy whiteys then
Buzzkill.
My sister is on line on my old computer via a cat 5 cable to the same modem whose WI-Fi I’m using. While its just a DSL connection to the internet the no cost feature can’t be beat!
Interestingly enough, if we are both watching something streaming from the same site the the Wi-Fi is 5-10 seconds ahead of the hard wire connection.
It doesn’t matter if there’s “bipartisan support,” it matters how they actually vote. That’s the sticking point.
This is the most confident SOTU I’ve ever seen him give.
Looks like he’s having fun.
What did he say? I’m too busy snarking.
I’m too busy laughing at your snarking, all of you – you, too, honey! 🙂
Hey, we can always read the speech later. I need some laughs.
Srsly, I’m missing most of it.
He just said “Third,” and I missed one and two. 😆
“Commerce” “Oops”
Oh shit, I had a pRick Perry moment. 😳
who is watching the speech…. I learned years ago, watching the Zoo watch the speech was far more entertaining! 🙂
I can’t wait for the prez debates!
Ummm, yes I can.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! No more wars!
is it time to ‘squeal like a pig’ yet?
Meep, meep, motherfuckers.
Cuba!! It really is a lovely country — politics aside.
Betcha Fat Boy Rush is first on the plane with a box of blue pills and a packet of rubber johnnies…. despite what he says on’t radio, like
Michelle’s dress really is awful. Sorry.
Damn, I still haven’t caught it!
I wanna see Obama walk over to Joe Wilson and knock his teeth down his throat.
Didn’t happen again did it?
He owes him.
Cuba libres all round – yay!!!
Well, if you listen to “scientists.” 🙄
I think this might finally be the speech when Obama will throw down the mic at the end.
And stage dive….. maybe not tonight.
Please, please, please….
Oh noooooes, he’s a mooooooooslim!!
Kelly Ayotte – spit.
We should keep one of those prisons open for all those convicted Wall Street bankers.
Oh wait.
This would be a good time… Obama closes Gitmo in a defence shift and Raul offers all the inmates freedom and a chance to take Cuban citizenship….. my Mr President…. I got an idea…?
Brilliant!
Our own standards? Oh dear…
Calling ’em out — FINALLY!
Boner’s tie is askew.
Uh-oh, is Boner slumping in his chair?
He almost looks like he had his jaw wired for the speech.
Did Boner go ….er…. soft…..? (Terry takes it down)
Theraflu + Scotch = Boehner
Who is this Shirley he’s referring to…?
But it suits you
Stick it to ’em, prez!
ZING!
Every now and again, the lamb shows his fangs.
Work together? Dream on.
Obama: “I have a dream…”
But we don’t value every person in this country.
For instance, Ted Nugent.
Huckajesus likes him some Cat Scratch Fever with the Soiled One.
Definitely. And Word Salad Sarah.
Wrapping up…I think.
Finally my interwebs are fixed (and pigs locked up). Is it time for Joni yet?
Just about!
We’re a tight-knit family — at a perpetual Thanksgiving dinner. Arrrggghhhh!!
Oh dear, Z, you were right about the dress–although I might say upholstery for a sofa (I was looking at sofas online a little while before the speech–don’t tell Wayne!) 🙂
I usually love her dresses, but lawdy. 😆
I saw you. Just imagine it as money thrown in a pile and clawed to useless pieces by the cats. 🙂
If you watch this on a small screen the crawl at the bottom is cut off so it just says “uck Todd”, which seems appropriate.
Leaves it to your imagination. 😆
One point (now watching NBC): It’s Boy-see, not Boy-zee, Idaho.
Carry on.
I could have watched this speech if only Joni had been here to help me with the damned pigs.
Here we go…heh.
That’s an astonishing hair helmet.
Shorter Joni: Fuck you, I’m doing a Palin.
Bread bags?
I don’t care about your holey shoes!
She’s almost as smooth as Bobby Jindal.
This is a great speech, for the Jeffersonton Ruritan yearly dinner.
ZING!!
At least she seems well hydrated.
She didn’t watch the President’s speech. 🙄
I lasted 20 seconds watching the phony baloney Joni.
Oh gawd, this is dreary. Go Amurka.
She’s really enamored with herself.
Repeal, replace, dirt under my fingernails…. right..
That was completely useless.
I can’t watch anymore idiocy. Blech.
Yeah, I should have just stayed outside.
I’m sure the pigs were better company, and had more intelligent conversation to offer.
Now Marco is delivering an impromptu address. Short, no water needed.
Yeah, I had to turn that off, or I was going to lose my delicious soup.
President Obama is a good speaker. Why can’t he get the general buy-in that FDR could? The situation, message, and potential fixes are the same. Must we really have folk eating potatoes for months on end to believe an adjustment in income distribution is necessary? Do the legacies of FDR and LBJ smooth out the issue just enough that the people aren’t quite desperate enough?
People in FDR’s time were interested in working for the common good, not destroying everything with which they disagree.
The “just enough” thing does make sense. Otherwise, we’d have been in the streets over income inequality 20 years ago. Now people are just hanging on by their fingernails, and hoping they don’t lose their minimum wage job.
And folk who played the game by the rules (get an education, buy a house , save for retirement) are living with promises that were yanked away. I guess I expected them to be angrier. Maybe they’re working too hard to have time to be angry.
Wrong color perhaps?
via The Mudflat:
Exactly! With bread bags in your shoes!
One could always ask Joni where she bother money from?
How much Federal farm aid goes to Iowa?
TRoS!!!!!!!!
I read somewhere her family got about $700K in farm aid.
I know Bachman’s family got loads, this lady is new on my radar. If we know what name the family farm is under, search it on Environmental Working Group’s database. I’m even in there and my few thousand is the least of anyone’s worries.
Where??? Where???
Oh… waitaminite…
That’s ME… heh…
So she makes her money the old fashioned way, sucking it out of the government?
If that is true, why am I not surprised?
But kind of government sucking is more noble than those who get welfare or food stamps, because she’s rich.
Yeah, you!
Hey, TRoS, sorry you missed all of the snacks and stuff. Didja bring anything to eat? 🙂
He prolly ate all his snacks in the car. Polar bears…. SMH
And she wore bread bags on her little feet.
‘Bout sums it up.
Has anyone watched the teabagger response, or any of the others?
I just can’t do it.
Eh, me neither.
Nope. I listened to, rather than watched, Joni Ernst. The combination of sight and sound would have been too much.
Yes. Stepford big time. Can you say, Botox!!
I couldn’t take her anymore. Switched to the Simpsons.
https://mobile.twitter.com/AdamBlickstein/status/557748880348303361
I’m always the last one at the party. Wah.
*turns out lights*
Now, I told you when I’d get here. And I’m here!
I hope you don’t mind that I’m in my jammies.
Fuzzy slippers?
Yup.
I’m in t-shirt, pajama pants and mocs.
Wow, they must be sisters. Or partners. 😉
I’m convinced that Joni wears wigs. Oh, and that she is nuts!
She should have gone for something that didn’t make her look like a man in drag…no, wait…I just offended drag queens.
Sorry, guys! I know you’d never leave the house looking like that!
At one point Ruth was nodding off. Oy. 💤💤
Andy Borowitz’ Facebook page is hilarious!
https://www.facebook.com/andyborowitz
Have you joined FB?
I have two Facebook accounts. I created the first one about two weeks before I found out Think Progress was going to Fb for their comment system. Since the first one was my real name, and I never meant to use that commenting, I asked Comcast for a second e-mail so I could use that to get a Facebook ID with my screenname. Since that never produced comments at TP anyone could see but me, I had to use a Hotmail e-mail account at TP to get it to work. Since neither Fb account was of any use to me, and Fb wouldn’t let me delete them, I locked them down with maximum security and stopped going there. As far as I’m concerned, Facebook is useless for me.
I caught the Borowitz link at DU.
I don’t use my real name of FB. Everyone asks how I managed that…
Ebband is my first there – FB hasn’t a clue if it is real or and alias.
Joni Ernst has only one tone of voice: condescending. She can take over for Peggy Noonan someday.
The Agree/Disagree meter under Ernst’ face stays negative even on the Republican line!
They chose her to ‘respond’ to something she hadn’t listened to.
That sounds about right – don’t give a shit about anything but their own self-inflated opinions
A hateful, spiteful group if ever there was one…the Repugnant Party.
Beat punchline EVER!!
“I KNOW BECAUSE I WON BOTH OF THEM!!”