Wednesday, March 25, 2015: And they’re off and running….

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Ted Cruz, the Cuban-Canadian socialist-Marxist libertarian from Texas has thrown his hat into the presidential race. With his hair, he should put it back on. Same goes for Trump.

But in bigger news, Hobby Lobby, the for-profit conservative Christian corporation, will be announcing its bid on Palm Sunday. “Like the Savior, riding in on a donkey, Hobby Lobby will lead the way to peace, salvation and craft goods from China” reads one draft of their impending announcement. Hobby Lobby won the corporate right to discriminate based on religion, and intends to expand that right to all government services.

Exxon-Mobile is said to be mulling over the idea of running, as is Monsanto, who, for the last decade has been secretly trying to clone Ronald Reagan.

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28 thoughts on “Wednesday, March 25, 2015: And they’re off and running….”

  1. Hobby Lobby is bound to win.
    They have the aging retired religious right buying their cheap Chinese craft crapola and powerful lobbyists in D.C.
    Isn’t that why they’re called “Hobby Lobby”?

      • I forgot to add the fact that they have a Supreme Court decision that was ruled in their favor.
        Just like the Bush election. Even if they lose, they’ll still win.

        Hobby Lobby, your one stop shop for useless, toxic, scented pine cones.

  2. I think Monsanto is way too late. Reagan’s brain has already been cloned, evidenced by the vast empty wasteland of Republican minds everywhere. We’ll know for sure if/when the GOP banishes science completely in favor of horoscopy.

  3. Supreme Court Rules Against Alabama Redistricting Plan

    The Supreme Court sided with black challengers Wednesday and told a lower court to reconsider whether a redistricting plan drawn by Alabama’s Republican legislature packed minority voters into districts to dilute their influence.

    The court voted 5 to 4 to send the plan back for further judicial review. Justice Stephen G. Breyer wrote the opinion, and Justice Anthony M. Kennedy sided with the court’s liberals to make up the majority.

    The challenge was brought by black officeholders and Democrats who argued that the state’s Republican leadership packed minority voters into districts that allowed the election of African American officials but reduced their influence elsewhere.

    We’ll have to see whether this results in meaningful changes. There’s only one district that now sends a Dem to the House of Representatives.

    • Here’s an idea. I would call it the “Protect the Constitution From Blatant Religiosity Act”. It would read something like…

      “Any proposed legislation that is solely based on the personal religious beliefs of the sponsors and has no scientific, economic, or other secular justification will be deemed unconstitutional and given no further consideration.”

  10. My city is mourning.
    Last night three patrol cars responded to a call of a suicidal man. (his family had contacted the police).
    Unfortunately, the man did not commit suicide until AFTER murdering an officer.
    The police were across the street discussing an approach to the situation – enough of a safe distance, except, the suicide man had an automatic rifle.

    It is waaay beyond time to implement much stricter gun controls.

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