The Watering Hole, Monday, April 13, 2015: Guess Their Home Planets

Ben Carson is afraid. That’s not unusual for a Conservative, since fear is the primary thing that motivates them to action of any kind. But in Carson’s case’s case that fear is not warranted by anything happening on this planet. Carson is among the many conservatives who believe that all manner of terrorists will cross our border with Mexico with the express purpose of killing them, and only them, on account of we on the Left being their bestest buddies in the world. Courtesy of our friends at Right Wing Watch, at the recent NRA annual circle jerk meeting

Likely GOP presidential hopeful Ben Carson told the NRA’s annual meeting today that Americans need guns more than ever since the southern border has been exposed to infiltration from “radical extremist Islamic terrorists” whom President Obama doesn’t intend to fight.

“When they get here,” Carson said, “we need to be able to fight them, particularly if we have an administration that won’t fight them, we need to be able to fight them ourselves.”

He added that guns are necessary for people to “defend themselves against an overly aggressive government that wanted to exact tyranny in this country.”

But he is also among the delusional right wingers who feel Obama hasn’t done anything to fight terrorists who exploit a perverted version of Islam as a justification to kill innocent people, primarily those who are non-Muslim. Apparently these right-wingers are so caught up in their own bubble of mis-information that they didn’t notice all the complaining from the Left about Obama’s drone strike program and how it keeps killing innocent people. Obama, along with several other countries in the Mid-East, has been attacking these guys. He just isn’t committing huge numbers of ground troops to the operation like the right wing wants. And that’s because in the Conservative universe, military power is the only kind of strength anyone respects (because it’s the only kind of power they respect.) There are many planets where right-wingers like this can be found, but in Dr. Ben Carson’s case, that planet would likely be Sigma Draconis VI. This is the home planet of the woman who boarded the Enterprise and removed Spock’s brain while leaving his body alive and functioning. This was possible because of a powerful computer capable of giving someone temporary knowledge beyond their normal intellectual abilities, but whose effects are sadly temporary. The result is when the effects of the intelligence enhancements wear off, the person is left being so stupid they don’t even understand what a brain is, let alone how to successfully remove one. This is clearly what happened to Dr. Carson after he left his home planet and the effects of the machine that gave him the ability to be a brilliant pediatric neurosurgeon wore off.

Donald Trump is also afraid, but the only thing that frightens him is the thought that people may one day see just how irrelevant, meaningless, and buffoonish he really is. Trump, who understands nothing of nuclear power, foreign diplomacy, or when to keep one’s mouth shut, badmouthed the recent framework for a deal negotiated with Iran by Secretary of State Kerry and five other nations. And, naturally, since the historic framework for a deal did not involve bombing Iran’s current nuclear facilities, the right wing thinks it’s a totally bad deal. It’s not even a final deal yet, just the framework for a deal that will keep Iran from being able to enrich the kind of uranium that can be used to make a nuclear weapon. And right now, this negotiations for this framework have been the only thing stopping the Iranians from making that bomb. But Trump thinks it’s a terrible deal.

“The deal is terrible, this deal is going to lead to nuclear all over the place and everyone’s going to want to have it and it’s a disaster for Israel, I can tell you, it’s a disaster for this country.”

And we should listen to Trump because he wrote (what he claims is, and what may be, but which I don’t care if it is) the top-selling business book, “The Art of The Deal.” And as everyone in the Conservative Universe knows, Capitalism and International Diplomacy are interchangeable. If you’re good at one you must automatically be good at the other. Herbert Hoover was a Capitalist, and his economic policies led to the Great Depression. George W. Bush was an MBA from Harvard, but that didn’t mean he was the smartest person in the room when it came to foreign policy. Even his Secretary of State, who was supposed to be an expert on the Soviet Union, failed to see its impending collapse. These people know nothing about running a government, let alone how to negotiate with people from another culture. The Conservative Universe has many right wingers who don’t know what they’re taking about, but the Donald Trumps of Earth orginally came from Iota Geminorum IV. This is the home planet of the tribbles, small furry creatures whose purrs have a calming effect on humans. The pelt of one has been resting on Trump’s head for many decades.

As a country, we need to stop listening to people like this. I’m not suggesting they be silenced, just ignored. Many people say there’s no difference between the two major political parties. That is completely false. That doesn’t mean that one works for the benefit of the top 1% and the large multi-national corporations and the other doesn’t. But one party doesn’t have nearly as many crazy people holding crazy viewpoints that they think the rest of us are crazy for not heeding. And it is also not true that Liberalism and Conservatism are just two sides of the same coin. It’s more like two sides of the same circle – the inside and the outside. Conservatism is rooted in Selfishness, in looking out for oneself over the needs of strangers, in asking “What’s in this for me?” of anything new, and in preserving the status quo as much as possible. Like the inside of a circle, there’s a core set of not-always-well-defined principles intended to keep things from changing too much. Liberalism, on the other hand, is rooted in Altruism, in looking out for all of us rather than just some of us, in asking, “How does this benefit the most of us?” of anything new, and in changing things that don’t work for everybody. The two philosophies are in no way equal, so when trying to find solutions that would benefit the nation as a whole, why would anyone believe Conservatives have the best ideas? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Conservatives don’t care about you. So stop voting for them.

This is our daily open thread. Feel free to discuss Ben Carson, brain surgery, Donald Trump, Tribbles as fashion accessories, or anything else you wish to discuss. Just don’t vote for any Conservatives.

28 thoughts on “The Watering Hole, Monday, April 13, 2015: Guess Their Home Planets

  1. The first scandal of which there will be many in the Clinton campaign:

    “Hillary Clinton paid women and men equally as a U.S. senator, according to a review of internal salary information that shows full-time female and male staffers from her Senate office and three political committees making a dollar for dollar.”

    EmasculateGate?

    • Yeah, and I bet Hillary wears Mom Jeans too!

      I have a feeling that the vicious right wing racism that bubbled up to the top because Obama is likely to be nothing compared to the blatant misogyny eruption that Hillary will bring out. It’s already there for all to see, and emanates from both sides of the gender spectrum, and most certainly will soon become MUCH worse. As Wayne noted in his excellent post, fear drives the right wing — fear of anything or anyone that isn’t a white male fascist, i.e. NOT the type of person God wants to lead it’s favorite country.

      Arm yourselves people! Save Amurka from ni**ers and wimmin! Oh, and from “E. bolai” too!

  2. WRT Carson, is there any evidence (beyond his own declaration) that he’s as brilliant a surgeon as is claimed? I’ve no problem with it being true (most surgeons are sociopaths of some degree) I’d just prefer a reliable source.

  3. Hmmm…let’s see. If conservatives succeed in getting their ‘religious freedoms’ bills passed, wouldn’t it give radical Islamists, who believe in ‘death to infidels’ the right to freely practice that aspect of their religion?

    • You make an excellent logical point, except that these Conservative Christians are already on record saying the First Amendment only applies to Christians practicing Christianity.

    • Not too keen on Hillary calling us “everyday Americans”, a phrase that grates on me like nails on a blackboard. Maybe this should be Hillary’s campaign song:

    • D.E., the cowboy, is this years Joe the plumber. How utterly idiotic.
      Rush was going to move away if Obama was elected. He’s still sitting on his butt in the U.S.A. nearly eight years later.

    • But why Canada…. there are more pinkos per square foot… sorry metre way more than here…./

      I mean why not go for a place where the police are respected, corporations are allowed to make wealth however and where ever they like and a benevolent father-figure, a strong leader , who makes his mind up quickly and acts is in thankfully in charge….

      … Russia?

    • Sigh… Many of my friends were hopeful that she would just quietly fade away but I knew better. She is, if nothing else, a media whore of nearly Palinesque proportions. But? I must admit that it’s kind of fun watching her tie herself in knots by trying to hold the contradictory positions that the Rapture is the big pay off for all the God-botherers while also being the worst thing ever and blaming Obama for it.

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