I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.
Taxes. The problem with trickle-down economics isn’t that it doesn’t work. It is that we have not fully implemented it. We’re still taxing the very rich. We have to change our tax laws so that all income over $1,000,000 a year is not taxed at all. That’s not just wages, but unearned income, too, like dividends and capital gains and interest and rental income, etc. And corporations shouldn’t be taxed at all. After all, taxes on corporations just punish corporations for making a profit. So we must stop discouraging corporations from making profits. That way, everyone wins.
Speaking of profits, there’s lots of ways we keep corporations from making profits and creating jobs. Take the minimum wage. Seriously. Take it, and don’t give it back. People should be paid what they’re worth, not what the government forces job creators to pay. Labor should compete on the open market. Everyone should be free to market their labor, to set their own price. And that includes kids, too. Why force them to go to school. Hell, studies show most of them aren’t learning anything any way. Kids should be free to go out and make money for themselves, if that’s what they want.
Of course, women, on the other hand, were created by God for one purpose: to bear children. Men weren’t. Women need to return to the role God planned for them from the beginning: to be man’s companion and to bear his children. Once we take women out of the workplace, it will free up millions of jobs. Now THAT’S a jobs program that benefits everyone! Unemployment will drop to zero virtually overnight.
The environment. Everyone wants to regulate the environment. But I’m here to tell you it can’t be done. God controls the environment and you cannot regulate God. We need to stop trying. We need to get rid of all those laws that try to regulate the environment because that’s an offense to God. I mean, NO WONDER we’re having all kinds of weird weather lately. By trying to regulate God, we’re incurring God’s just wrath!
God gave man, man, not woman, mind you…God gave MAN dominion over all the earth – to subdue the earth and use its resources for our gain. If we tie up vast amounts of resources in public lands, lands owned by the government, we’re not following God’s command. We must take those lands away from the government and put them to good use creating jobs, giving us energy independence, and creating wealth and security for everyone. This is just being good stewards of the earth that God gave us.
And speaking of God…yes…it is about time we accept the fact that we are a Christian Nation. Now I know all about the First Amendment…and I quote, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, end quote. But we’ve got a long history of the President issuing executive orders. And, when I’m elected President, that’s just what I’ll do. I will issue an Executive Order establishing the One True Church as the official religion of the United States of America. I’ll keep the tax-exempt status for the One True Church. But all other churches will be shut down because they preach a false doctrine and that does nothing but incur God’s just wrath and punishment. And, frankly, I think the United States has been punished enough.
So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!
[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]
I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.
Why is it that the strongest part of a roll of toilet paper is always the perforations?