The Watering Hole. Wednesday. June. 24. 2015. Yes, I’m still Running For President. (Part IV)

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: The Middle East, more specifically, Iraq.

Let’s face it, invading Iraq, again, is inevitable. Bush’s successful invasion was bungled, and bungled badly, by not following Biblical principles. The Middle East, and especially Iraq, is still living in Biblical times, and must be treated accordingly.

Now, in Biblical times, when a country was invaded, the soldiers were killed, and able-bodied women and children were taken into slavery. The conquers took control of the land and settled there. That’s what we need to do.

Not only do we invade Iraq, we execute as war criminals all able-bodied men, we enslave the women and children. You see, once they are convicted as unlawful enemy combatants, the 13th Amendment prohibition against slavery no longer applies.

Then we offer land to any American Family that wants to move there. A lot of land. And a percentage of the oil revenues. There will be only one condition: that they be fertile, and abstain from using any form of birth control, to follow the Biblical Commandment to go forth and multiply, and that they be card-carrying members of the NRA, with their own private arsenal.

This way, by the end of my first term as President, Iraq will become the 51st State in the Union. Of course, we’ll have to give it a new name. I’m open to suggestions.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s pronounced Breesha na Fair-ah.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

OPEN THREAD

41 thoughts on “The Watering Hole. Wednesday. June. 24. 2015. Yes, I’m still Running For President. (Part IV)

  1. I think you could go a lot further with your Iraq plan — maybe in your second term? I’d like to see Syria, Iraq, Kuwait, and Iran (at least) conquered, Christianized, all followed by your land giveaways, etc. I then think that rather than forming a 51st state, a new country should be created, one called The United States of Reagan maybe, with doors wide open for immigrants from here, the “old country,” including one-way tickets (and free pickup/motorcycle transport) for any registered Republican and/or white supremacist/militiaman/Christianista as well as each and all motorcycle gang members.

    The benefits of all that seem (bill) Kristol clear. The Middle East would remain the hotbed of hate and fear it is today, but at least it would be the white race in control, finally. Also, Amurkkka could continue her slide into socialism (health care for all, free college, equal pay, decent minimum wage, gay marriage, gun control, etc. etc.). And the good news for Amazon, Walmart, etc — a new market for confederate flags!

    What could go wrong?

    • I do like the idea of renaming Iraq as the State of Reagan, our 51st State. It would attract a lot of the right kind of people to relocate there.

    • WIlliam Chumley (R-shiteating-shitkicker) … do you know how you would act in front of a murderous hate-filled bastard with a gun? I don’t and I suspect you don’t either, so STFU.

  2. QOTD:

    “I’m appalled by––though, I really like to like Nikki Haley since she is a Republican. On the other hand, she is an immigrant and does not understand America’s history.” — Ann Coulter

    Bonus: Nikki Haley was born in South Carolina.

    • Bonus bonus….. if you are an immigrant who takes citizenship you *have* to understand US history …. and that means you probably know more than most Amurkans …. and more than Ann KK-Koulter.

  3. Hey BnF – what’s your position on the taking of foreskins?

    In Biblical times everyone was taking each other’s foreskins left and right ….. not really sure why I would spend my evening after a battle fighting off the flies topping all those dead enemy soldiers’ todgers … but then TV was poor in those days.

    • The only acceptable foreskins are the enemies. That’s in the Bible.

      • So is this something we should be adding to the INS checklist along with asking for the address of the hotel you are staying in while in New York?

  4. Lucid comment heard on NPR from protestor in Charleston today:

    “Taking the flag down won’t change anything, don’t get me wrong it’s high time it came down, but that flag …. it means noth… thing, ….noth… thing…. and it would change noth…. thing…”

    But I thought all we had to do was take the flag down (and embrace Jesus, or take his foreskin or something – according to Mike pHuckwit-abee) and racism would be in the past? No? My TV says so…. must be right… mustn’t it?

    • Alabama Gov. Bentley removes Confederate flags from Capitol grounds

      On the order of Gov. Robert Bentley, the Confederate battle flag which stands at the foot of the confederate memorial on the state Capitol grounds was taken down this morning.

      Two workers came out of the Capitol building about 8:20 a.m. and with no fanfare quickly and quietly took the flag down. They declined to answer questions.

      Moments later Gov. Bentley emerged from the Capitol on his way to an appearance in Hackleburg. Asked if he had ordered the flag taken down, the governor said, “Yes I did.”

      I guess Bentley agrees it means nothing.

  5. Mike Allen says Fox News “amicably parted ways” with Sarah Palin, declining to renew her contract when it expired June 1.

    http://www.adweek.com/tvnewser/fox-news-drops-sarah-palin/265761

    I love this Roger Ailes quote from the Raw Story version of the story.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2015/06/down-goes-palin-sarah-gets-dumped-by-fox-news-again/

    In 2011, Fox News chief Roger Ailes explained why he put Palin on his payroll in the first place.

    “I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings,” he said.

    • I never understood why Fox wanted a Tina Fey impersonator on their show – her jokes were really crap.

      • Could we please stop saying “former” and use the term “washed out”.
        The word former makes it sound like she had the capacity to perform to a standard.

    • A person enters a race with the idea that they are going to win.
      For example:
      Drag racing.
      Formula 1
      The list is long
      You don’t enter a race thinking that it’ll be fun to spend a shitload of other peoples money and eventually throw in the towel while making an ass of yourself promising things that are over the moon.
      Ummm, scratch all of that.
      He just wants to spend other peoples money partying and be the hood ornament on the clown car.

      • You don’t enter a race thinking that it’ll be fun to spend a shitload of other peoples money and eventually throw in the towel…

        Sometimes, the idea is to enter the race and spend as little money as possible.

        Nascar – Start and Park

        • That’s a new one for me.
          We have the Coke 400 coming up.
          I’ll have to keep an eye on that.

          • I’ll be interested in hearing how many vehicles are sporting Confederate flags and emblems among the attendees.

            Start and park has been an issue since the recession shrank the available sponsor money, but it started a long time ago. Heck even old Morgan Shepard has done it some weeks.

            • There will be a lot of them.
              Probably more than usual for the sake of spite in light of recent events.
              You’re not dealing with deep individuals or rational thinkers down here.

  6. I’m not generally disposed to spread conspiracy theories but I have a sick feeling that the “librul media” is pushing the debate over the flag of treason to deflect discussion from the fact that even half-way sane federal gun control laws would have prevented the little creep from legally possessing a weapon more deadly than safety scissors.

    • Seems to be just as you describe, petelngh!
      Their thought process does seem to be If we comply with the outrage of the vile flag, they’ll leave our guns alone.

  7. Does anybody know what kind of hummingbird this is?

    photo by Christine Kasmerski

  8. Who said:

    Senator On Charleston Shooter: ‘That’s Mideast Hate. That’s Something I Didn’t Think We Had Here’

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