First Republican Primary “Debate” open thread

The “Phony Express” clip seems most appropriate here…dunno why…

If there’s enough alcohol on the planet, a couple people might take on the Alternet GOP drinking game, but — FAIR WARNING — if you do, you will die.


You have been warned!!

Here’s the deal: Β All y’all are on your own for watching the Clown Car Clusterfuck, but please feel free to leave your in-the-moment thoughts and impressions in the comments section. Β Sarcasm, temper tantrums, and snide comments are welcome — in fact, they’re encouraged!

Do your worst, my Critters and Zoosters, cuz you know the GOP clowns will be doing the same.

Hat tip to our EV for the Three Stooges idea!!


223 thoughts on “First Republican Primary “Debate” open thread

  1. Alternative GOP debate drinking game (due to Surgeon General Murthy): Only take a drink when one of them says something sensible.

    … gonna be a long, sober night …

  2. The Trump drink quotes alone should get everyone hammered. Having lived in New York all of my civilian life (and being subjected to him in our local media), I can tell you I’ll be the most surprised if he doesn’t say all of those things at least once.

  3. Cool I can see and hear Ms Graham…. ugh ….

    And he connected foodstamps to ISIL somehow.. Is that a drinkable offense?

  4. Jindal wants to get in there and show Obama and Hillary what REAL Fascism looks like!

    • I know of that person, ‘LIBertea’. He has issues. The site may be Ok, but I wouldn’t put any info on there for a log in.

  5. Coming up: Planned Parenthood, I venture a guess. It’ll be ‘How to lose the women vote in one simple step.’

  6. Every time I un-mute, it’s a Fux Fearmongering Moment ™.

    How are going to get through this without Jon Stewart?

  7. Ok, it’s Iran after all. Perry lives up to my expectations. Carly is Bibi’s friend. Somebody needs to tell Sarah.

  8. Furina: We need to arm the Kurds. (If only that wouldn’t totally piss off Turkey)

    • She can arm Turkey, too. That’s the whole point, isn’t it. Get those tax dollars flowing to the IMC.

  9. William Devane: The banks got bailed out, I didn’t, did you?

    Leave it to Fox to even have ADS I have to holler at.

  10. They really are going for the widdle baby heartstrings, aren’t they?

    Take the money from PP and put it into women’s health care — like Planned Parenthood!

  11. Why Carly, you paid all those employees whose jobs you lost the same 40 mn parachute that you got because all are equal? I didn’t notice.

  12. YOU lie about Benghazi, the truth has already been put to bed and given a drink of water!

          • Same here. Tough times, I have some 100 applications sent out or more and zero job interviews. At 54 nobody hires you anymore over here.

        • I just e-mailed a resume for a job I’m well qualified for, and didn’t get a call yet. it was a personnel service. Usually they get you right in to see if they want to send you to an interview. I may call them tomorrow to check if they actually received the e-mail.

          • I called in for one job, that might even be an opportunity, but only 50% part time, won’t even pay the rent.

      • Indeed we do. Harper vs Mulcair vs Trudeau vs May ; Uber Con vs Progressive vs Progressive vs Green. Should be interesting.

          • Harper = c word, Mulcair = douche, Trudeau = commie, May = drunken troll

            Personally I would take Trudeau but there are many many people that cringe at the name.

            • He said: Flip Mulcair and Trudeau Actually Mulcair isn’t a commie, he’s an opportunistic little gnome cuddled up to the commies.
              Edit: seriously, dude looks like a lawn ornament.

    • “A commie, a douche, and a c word that would get me banned. Plus that drunken troll from the greens.”

    • He forgot the ball tickle. When the camera cut back to Jon Stewart doing that the other night I almost died laughing.

  13. Scarboy and Tweety yelled at each other. A guy who won’t shut up vs. a guy who can’t shut up. It still amazes me that anyone actually pays for the “privilege” of watching cable “news”.

      • The only way I would even consider subscribing to cable is if they offered ala carte service. And, even then, Discovery, TLC, and THC would have to return to their former ways of actually offering educational and informative programming instead of 50 weeks a year of religious “history” liberally sprinkled with reality shows and ghost hunting.

  14. My TV is tuned to Fox News for the first time. Does everyone have devil’s horns or is that my TV doing that?

  15. BTW. We really should call it free advertising rather than a “debate”. Debate assumes that there’s a chance that the stronger argument will change the minds of those in doubt about an issue. One couldn’t put a dent in a rightwhiner’s opinion with a freaking sledge hammer.

  16. Jeb loses the smile contest, Walker wins the tongue between his teeth while he smiled contest.

  17. It’s times like these that I really miss Douglas Adams. I think he would have called the first infomercial “the B Ark debate”.

  18. We’re 18 tril in debt because the wealthy don’t pay taxes, and everybody else don’t make enough to pay taxes

  19. I forgot to cross post my tweets. I’ll do them all now.

  20. Can’t force medicaid expansion by withholding funds, can’t force sanctuary cities by withhilding funds

  21. ISIS are former Ba’ath Party military leaders who are very fundamentalist Sunni.

  22. Forgive me, but they’re not worth my time really. I need to sleep. Have fun, it’s been good to be back with you all for a bit. I’ll be back.

    • He must have an aide who keeps his hand over his mouth in the Senate chamber until it’s his turn to speak.

  23. Huckabee: I wanna be in charge of the most evil entity in this country– the Federal govt.

        • Remember when Rev. Donald Wildmon wanted to ban Three’s Company because of Suzanne Somers’ boobs? I figured that out way back then.

  24. We have forty more minutes before TDS, and that sucker is supposed to be about an hour long, if I heard correctly.

  25. BTW, tonight is just a pre-season scrimmage, for US! We have to be tougher than ever before these are over and the primaries start.

  26. JEB!: My state’s economy was double the growth of the national govt (who my brother was miserably failing at running)

  27. Gawd, I really hjate having this on my TV. I may have to degauss and delouse it afterwards.

    • I think degaussing went out with cathode ray tubes. Delouse at your discretion. πŸ˜‰

  28. What determines your obligation to the government, in your job, depends on the legal language in the state, county and city licenses, you or your employer agreed to when you accepted the licenses. Your religion may require you to abdicate the job, but it doesn’t absolve you of those legal obligations.

  29. I don’t think we have enough nuclear weapons in our arsenal to do all the bombing these people wanna do. Everything according to them requires a military strike.

    • Oh we have enough nuclear warheads to destroy the world. The powers that be want conventional bombs and bullets along with all the other equipment the troops need, things that need to be replaced frequently.

    • Hillary Clinton found a brilliant way to troll the Republican candidates during their big debate

      Hillary Clinton isn’t on stage to defend herself, but she still managed to mock many of the candidates appearing in the first Republican presidential debates on Thursday night.

      Clinton’s campaign set up a press filing room for reporters covering the debates at her headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. The walls of the room were covered with posters showing past statements from several of the Republican candidates praising Clinton.

      There were quotes from frontrunner Donald Trump, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R), businesswoman Carly Fiorina, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida), and former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R).

      Sounds like she has a fine group of ratfuckers on her staff.

  30. This is easily the most disingenuous (and that’s a generous label) 2 hours I’ve ever experienced.

  31. Huckabee on the changing role of the military: β€œThe purpose of the military is kill people and break things.”

  32. Watched for half an hour and quit to take a bath. I feel almost clean. Both I and a conservative friend consider Trump to be one of the horseman of the apocalypse, maybe two if his hair is counted as a separate entity. We plan to start stockpiling weapons.

  33. Kasich: “We’re stronger when we’re united and weaker when we’re divided.”

    Wow, that is deep.

  34. The feed I was watching cut out and died on me, but I haven’t missed a thing because you guys are all kinds of kick-ass awesome!!!

    • The only way to follow a debate is reading theZoo!
      I didn’t have to look at any of those liars or spit on the monitor!

      Thanks for watching and resporting!

  35. Scott Walker ass-kissing Ben Carson again. “Gosh, he’s so articulate…”

  36. Special thanks for our Wayne for tweetering the “debate.” πŸ™‚

    I meant to say this last night — sorry!!

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