The Watering Hole; Friday August 14 2015; The Alien Invasion of Amurka

AliensAliens. They’re here. Their efforts to assume control of this formerly (as in pre-Obama) great nation are rapidly picking up speed. I have taken here the liberty to present a stack of evidence collected in just the last few DAYS! Hang onto your respective hats.

WND: Illuminati-Controlled Government May Use Jade Helm 15 To Stoke Chaos

Nice to see that World Net Daily continues to remain World NUT Daily.

Larry Pratt: Fund Planned Parenthood With Sales Of ‘The Dr. Mengele Cookbook For Jewish Body Parts’

No need for advice from Mengele on how or where to get human body parts. Our Second Amendment solved that problem a long time ago.

For Pat Robertson, Levitical Laws Apply To Gays But No One Else

I’m guessing the Bible was written specifically FOR Pat Robertson (and those who “think” like him). Makes perfect sense since it makes their lives easier. Y’ know?

Scott Lively: ‘Religious Freedom’ Only Applies To Christians, And That’s Why God’s Punishing Us With Gay Rights

The most bizarre nutcase thesis so far in 2015 (and maybe since the Big Bang, even):

“Well, I don’t actually believe in ‘religious freedom,’ the way that the term is used,” Lively explained. “I know that when you use it and when most people use it, you’re talking about Christianity. We’re not talking about freedom for Islam and freedom for Buddhism and Hinduism as if they’re equal with God.

“The number-one Commandment is ‘You shall have no other gods before me.’ And when we forget that and we start accepting this concept of religious pluralism and we say that Jesus Christ is really no higher an authority in America than Buddha or Mohammed or even Satan, that’s when we have really dropped the ball and we have brought disfavor from God on us.”

Right. OK. Aliens for sure. I get it.

Jim Bakker: America Is Descending Into Cannibalism

Who the hell let this guy out of the slammer, and WHY??

Beck & Boykin: This Is America’s ‘Last Call’ As We’ve Become Worse Than Sodom And Gomorrah

General Boykin has clearly not yet sobered up following his stint in Iraq. As for Beck? He never will. Sober up.

Rafael Cruz: Americans ‘Under Bondage’ Because We Can’t Buy Incandescent Lightbulbs

There’s something about the word “Cruz” that causes my eyes to glass over.

And finally, there’s this little gem, one more from World Nut Daily:

Os Hillman: You Too Can Profit From God’s Coming Judgment

And yes, when he uses the word “profit” he is indeed referring to “profit” as in MORE MONEY to be made thanks to the something-or-other that God apparently mentioned a few thousand years ago. It’s way beyond my ken, but here are the nuts and bolts of it (emphasis on the NUTS):

How can believers take advantage of this season? If we are prepared this could be the greatest wealth transfer we have ever seen in our lifetime, or it can be a devastating time if you are not prepared. Let’s assume a major financial crash might happen as a result of the Shemitah year. What should you do now? Here are some steps I have taken along with many others I know who have taken them. Keep in mind that you must be directed by the Holy Spirit in your own preparation. God told Jeremiah to buy a piece of land when he knew his nation was going to be invaded by Babylon. . . . [Etc.]

Hey, if you can’t make a buck from a disaster . . . !

OK, so that’s enough. The PROOF that aliens have arrived and are rapidly assuming control is everywhere, the evidence incontrovertible. But I knew that. I’ve known it for a long time, actually. And I can prove it with photographic evidence: four of my own pics that are nearly four decades old, plus one that someone else somehow managed to snag (I only hope s/he’s OK, that some benefactor was there to shout “Klaatu Borata Nicto” at exactly the right time).

Pu'u Honua 3Pu'u Honua 4 002Pu'u Honua 2Tikis at KonaTRDumpTouché.

OPEN THREAD

63 thoughts on “The Watering Hole; Friday August 14 2015; The Alien Invasion of Amurka

    • Those four “aliens” were in Hawaii’s Pu’uhonua O Honaunau (City of Refuge, Kona coast) when I first visited the Big Island in the mid-seventies. The fifth alien (the one wearing the blond pelt on his head) will, should he become king, force me to finally return to the Paradise of the Woodies — in quest of the refuge guaranteed therein. Refuge from Idiots in my twilight years. Or so I still dare to hope.

  1. So that email I got from Charles Schwab yesterday on my free retirement consultation – that was the Holy Spirit? Wow well he goes by the name of Dennis then…. Dennis the Holy Spirit, Personal Investment Consultant

    • I can top that.
      I got a nigerian scam email wanting to buy some of my honey.
      Interesting…
      How does this guy know I’m a beekeeper?
      I’m not even commercial, I do it as a hobby.
      He claimed he was from Finland.

      10 points on originality with the Finland angle.
      0 points on spelling, grammar, sentence structure and punctuation.

  2. Whenever frugal posts examples of RWNJ crazy, I’m torn between being amused and depressed.

  3. World Nut Daily gets back on the nut wagon express. Again.

    If Obama Was Head Of Any Other Country, The Military Would’ve Take Him Out By Now

    Bradlee Dean:

    America is again being diverted away from another treasonous act by this administration: the “Iran nuke deal,” which is nothing more than appeasement through funding and enabling militarily America’s sworn enemies. Treason, treason and more treason.

    Let me cut to the chase here. If what was happening in this country was happening in a foreign country, the people in this country would have called for military strikes, as well as an all-out manhunt for the dictators that were guilty of the same things Barack Hussein Obama and his criminal administration are guilty of here in America. Yet, because it is happening here, the people have somehow deceived themselves into believing that what they have allowed is not as bad as what is happening over in Third World countries. What is even worse is that as long as there are smiles and the reciting of the word “Constitution,” the American people are set at ease only to set themselves up for the next act of treason. But as long as he is smiling.

    [. . .]

    Be it known, America, that you have been warned time and time again concerning the corruption in your government and churches, which is God’s mercy (Luke 12:2). Yet, you have done nothing to appease God’s wrath by bringing forth judgment upon the heads of the wicked.

    What part of the wingnut DNA is it that’s been torched? Anyone know?

    I’ve always thought that right wing fascists were proof that the earth has long been an intergalactic colony for the criminally insane. I gotta wonder what those other worlds are like today, after they finally got rid of the dirt.

    • I don’t know any other way to put this, but these people are, in all seriousness, mentally ill. There is no other explanation for it. And if a belief in God and Jesus as his illegitimate son (that would make Jesus a bastard, wouldn’t it) dominate their thoughts, then they are completely detached from reality. They need help. More than I do.

      • What bugs me the most is their collective and never-ending efforts to impose their shit on everyone else. I could care less what anyone believes religiously speaking, so long as they shut up about it. But the damn zealots feel, for some reason, that everybody better be like them OR ELSE. Pure crapola.

      • There are three traits at play. Dishonesty, stupidity, and insanity.

        I think very few of them truly believe the crap they spew but it serves their ends. Then we get the apparently honest ones like Bible Spice or Batscat Bachmann. That’s where the stupidity and insanity come into play. No sane or smart person would ever believe it. It appears, that Bible Spice is a little more stupid than insane while Bachann is a little more insane than stupid. Alas. They are off the ends of both scales so it’s impossible to be sure and it is possible that they are simply pathological liars and we start around the circle again.

        • You’re probably right. I’m guessing that most of the “dishonest” ones are playing politics with their lies — there’s potentially a lot of money and power in doing so, and it’s probably “smarter” on their part to appeal the the stupid and/or insane half of the Amurkkkan voting public.

  4. Today’s Glenn Beck nutso-facto:

    Doomsday Prophet Glenn Beck Warns God’s Judgment Is Imminent

    “This is not ‘it’s coming’ anymore. This is it, gang. This is it. This is everything I’ve warned about, everything that I’ve worried about and I think it’s going to happen so damn fast it’ll take your breath away. When it starts to go, you’re just going to be ‘what?’ Remember when I said at some point evil will just take off its mask and say, ‘Raar’? It’s going to happen. Soon.”

    When IT doesn’t happen, will Beck finally admit he’s full of shit? Don’t hold your breath. No matter how stupid wingnut predictions and theses turn out to be, I don’t recall a single one of the nuts ever admitting error. Don’t expect to, either.

    • Incredible, ain’t it? These people, who think God is all in favor of things like bombing Japan into a cinder or completely destabilizing the Middle East resulting in hundreds of thousands of innocent dead, are convinced that we are damned because a few more people have equal protection under the law. Also too…

      Aren’t these freaks all saying some variation of “God damn America” and “our chickens are coming home to roost” because they aren’t getting their way in every last, petty, way? I guarantee you that every one of them was caught on tape saying that President Obama is anti-American for attending Reverend Wrights church because he dared to say the same thing about our aggressive foreign policy and civil rights history. Will anyone in the “librul media” dare to remind any of them? I won’t hold my breath.

      • It’s okay, some mistakes are better than the original idea.
        I say we do a Clockwork Orange on all religious leaders and burn this into their brains.

  5. Yeehaw.

    Jim Bakker Preparing To Go To Jail Again, This Time Because Of Jade Helm 15

    Jim Bakker, the televangelist who served time in jail for fraud in the 1990s, declared on his program earlier this week that he may very soon wind up in jail again … this time as a victim of the made-up Jade Helm 15 federal takeover of Texas.

    Bakker discussed Jade Helm 15 with Rick Wiles during a series of programs in which the two floated a variety of unhinged conspiracy theories. The two pastors agreed that the military exercise is meant to foment civil strife and, according to Wiles, target Texas because the state is trying to subvert the Federal Reserve system through its gold depository.

    I still gotta wonder — will these nuts have (or need) any excuse when their bullshit proves false? Again?

    • Damn delusions get them every time!
      After reading the drivel from the ‘religious’ my main thought is please allow the rapture to begin right now and take these folks away from the sane in the U.S.

    • “I still gotta wonder — will these nuts have (or need) any excuse when their bullshit proves false? Again?”
      I’m guessing they will thank their faithful prayer warriors who barely staved off disaster with their earnest supplications and those brave militia whose access to firearms and willingness totake on Special Ops, as soon as they polish off a sixpack, scared the Obamafacists away, this time. Then they will ask for a donation so that they can continue fighting the good fight.

      • One of the many things that has never made any sense to me is the simple fact that any alleged god that needs a mere mortal to do anything on His behalf is, by definition, not a god. The God of the Old Testament was perfectly capable of doing His own smiting and when He did get lazy and ask His followers to do His dirty work the message was pretty clear.

        And, of course, the fundies can’t seem to grasp the New Testament at all. Jesus’ message is pretty freakin’ simple. “Don’t be a dick” really says it all. Oh sure, He also said some more specific stuff about forgiveness, acceptance, and not being judgmental but American right-wing Christians fail to grasp any of it. It seems like they have actually convinced themselves that Jesus will personally kill them and send them to Hell if they don’t hate whoever they happen to hate most today.

        • My standard reply to these folks is “I don’t know who, if anyone, God will smite for their sins, but I know who Jesus would have dinner with. The poor, the outcast, the unloved, seemed to be his favorite people.

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