I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.
Today’s topic du jour: Expanding Hobby Lobby.
One view of the Hobby Lobby decision is that where a corporation’s deeply held religious beliefs conflict with abiding a law, the religious beliefs prevail. The law cannot force a corporation to abandon its deeply held religious beliefs.
Well, corporations are people. So the natural extension of the Hobby Lobby decision is to apply it to people-people, too. The law cannot force anyone to do what goes against his or her deeply held religious beliefs. So, if your employer requires you to do something that is abhorrent to your faith your faith prevails over your employer’s dictates.
That’s why Wiccan/Pagan clerks don’t have to issue marriage licenses – they believe in hand-fasting. And why Jewish food inspectors can refuse to certify truckloads of bacon for human consumption, because all pork products are unclean. And why an Amish clerk can refuse to issue a gun permit. And why a Scientologist can refuse to fill a prescription. And why an adulterous four-times married clerk can refuse to issue marriage licenses based on her deeply held religious belief in the sanctity of marriage.
The separation of church and state in the First Amendment guarantees everyone the right to discriminate based on their religion, and the government cannot pass a law forcing religious folks to stop discriminating based on their faith. This is a natural and just extension of the Hobby Lobby decision.
And I believe that this is the only way our government can be saved. By matching people’s religious beliefs with their government positions. For example, when I’m elected President, I will appoint a Quaker to be Secretary of Defense; a Jehovah’s Witness to be Secretary of State; a Scientologist to be the Surgeon General; a Jew to run the Food and Drug Administration; an Atheist to run the Treasury; a Fundamental Christian as Secretary of Education; and an Amish to be Secretary of Transportation. And I will let each one freely practice their deeply held religious beliefs in the performance (or non-performance, as the case may be) of their duties.
What could possibly go wrong?
So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!
I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.