The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January1, 2016: I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President, Part VII

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: State of the Union – yeah, right.

I know, I know. By the time you read this, Obama will have given his last State of the Union Address as President of the United States, blah, blah, blah. He will have put a positive spin on all things Obama, all things black, all things from Kenya. And Fox “News” will have unleashed a barrage showing exactly how incompetent and impotent the Reign of Obama has been, replete with quotes from every Republican candidate from Palin to Trump. (FYI, Palin has never, I repeat never stopped running for President of these here United States.)

The penultimate question is, and always will be: “are you better off now than you were before Obama became President?”

The only possible answer is a resounding “NO!!!”

Before Obama became President, we had hope. Hope for change. Hope for a future better than that of our parents. Now, as we approach the end of his eight-year reign as our supreme leader, we are that much older, that much wiser.

We’re still at war in the middle east – only the name of our enemy has changed from Saddam and Al Qaeda and the Taliban to ISIS or ISIL and Al Qaeda and the Taliban. We’re fighting in Syria now, and Iran is still an open question. Iraq? Forget it. It’s a lost cause. As is Afghanistan. Maybe the oil pipeline is safe, but for sure their heroin production is hitting all-time highs (no pun intended).

Ok, so how about here at home? You feel the boost in the economy from the bazillions in bailout money given to the same banksters that robbed us? Neither did I. Nor anyone else making less than, say, a million a year.

Let’s face it, the only thing we got from eight years of Obama was ObamaCare. Republicans can’t repeal it. The Supreme Court didn’t overturn it. We’re stuck with it. It’s a massive gift to the insurance industry, which wrote much of it. But is it Universal Health Care? No. Medicare for all? No. Just another way for insurance companies to skim their profits off of our health care dollars without improving our health care at all. I know, Republicans created this Boogey Monster of “Government Death Panels” and all. But the reality is that private health insurance companies do that every day, every time they deny a claim, deny a treatment recommended by your doctor, to maximize their profits.

Don’t get me wrong. Obama has done some good.  He refused to prosecute Bush and company for war crimes and crimes against humanity. God knows he had enough evidence in the public record to convict at least some of the previous administration. But by not prosecuting his predecessors he let the whole world know that the United States of America will act with impunity when it comes to invading countries under false pretexts for the sole purpose of changing their government; that we will torture people with impunity; that we will kidnap people, and hold them in prison forever, without charges, without due process, because we are, above all things, a Nation of Laws, a Nation of Freedom, a Nation of Liberty. Which is why, of course, terrorists hate us.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]


24 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January1, 2016: I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President, Part VII

  1. I promise to vote for you if you give Paul “Goober Pyle” Ryan a solid cockpunch on national teevee.

    Today’s vocabulary word of the day is: Smarmy.
    Def. revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, or false earnestness <a tone of smarmy self-satisfaction.

    Example: Paul Ryan is a smarmy scrotum sack of fetid squirrel jizz.

    • Yup, BnF could start his first SOTU by turning around to Ryan in the Speaker’s chair and saying: “Oh someone sent over this for you…” and twatting him in the happy sack ….. that’s a SOTU I would watch.

    • Vinyl, I won’t make any deals to get your, or anyone else’s vote. That’s a campaign promise I will stand behind. Way behind. And, like any other campaign promise, it’s one I most likely will break at the first opportunity.

  2. Are we better off?
    What would a Mittens administration have done that would have made us less better off than the guy who sits in the Oval Office today.
    We’ll never know what that would have been like, and most likely better off for that.
    You’ve got my vote, unless I write myself in on the ballot.
    May we all have the courage and fortitude to survive this next election cycle of misery.

      • I’ll do my part.
        I’ll send anal beads.
        Apparently they’re not happy with the dildos and we’re not getting the message.
        They want anal beads.

        • That would be perfect. I’d like to share a funny story about a friend we lost a few years ago.

          Marty used to rent space for his printing business in the building we originally worked in. (The owners of our company owned the building.) Marty was funny and very enthusiastic. Jane and I started working at our company more than 20 years ago, and back then the internet was still relatively new. Not a lot of people had computers capable of access to it. (Commodore 64s and 128s were still being used. I still have mine.) Anyway, Marty told us how excited he was because he got a computer capable of internet access, and he started trying things out. Search engines were still working out how best to search for things, and, more importantly, how to filter out things. Type “Star Trek” into the search and you’d get about 5 million hits, most of them porn. So Marty excitedly tells us about his first internet search. “I typed in ‘anal beads’ and got about ten pages worth of results back.” We all thought, “‘Anal beads’? That was your first search?” We miss Marty. He was funny.

          • That would be the kind of question these business retreats would use as an icebreaker ….. I suspect ‘anal beads’ would be one of those *crickets chirping* answers.

        • I once spent an afternoon in a warehouse in Reno packing stuff people had bought online. Solar charged, ultra-violet flashing LEDs, vibrating nipple clamps …. in a neat black plastic bag.

      • Fine questions all – and the mail delivery – “I hates the govmint, cept when I needs the govmint to send a box of pink dildos”

        • If the FBI would do only a handful of remote things, the “patriots” would fold within a week, two at the most. No power, no heat, no water, no sewer, no mail, no deliveries of any kind, and no exit except to surrender. Seems to me if they’d have done it right on day one or two, it’d have ended a week ago at least. And no need for a single gunshot.

    • And then there’s the fact they have broken into the computers there, stolen SSNs and have cut holes in the fence so people can run their cows across the new #cowliphate


    Dearest Mr. President Obama,
    I witnessed your speech last night. I am deeply inspired, encouraged and profoundly grateful for your words. Your consciousness soars with clarity and divine purpose. Your articulated your views, subjects and comments with compassion. You made me feel how blessed we are to share life with your leadership. Even more than any other President I have witnessed (including JFK). Your words of spirit and global healing, unity and harmony for the betterment of the world….not just the USA. I pray for your continued safety for you and your family. Regarding Mr. Trump….I remember when I was a child living in Tijuana…I often crossed the border to visit the San Diego Zoo. I would hear loud screams and commotion in the distance. As I came closer to the sound, I noticed everyone was staring at an ape in a glass cage. The ape was staring back at the crowd that gathered. With an angry look of disgust, the ape defecated in his hand and threw it at the crowd. This is what I hear when Mr Trump speaks. He lacks consciousness as well as integrity. The Republicans and Mr Trump are selling hate and fear. That is the opposite of what our Country stands for. Let’s go forward with light and love into the future. Global Peace is within our grasp in this lifetime. Pull humanity up, take the high road and look at the aerial view. Peace on Earth now, not later.
    With deep respect and admiration,
    Carlos Santana

  4. I’ll be honest. I don’t own a cellular phone, and I don’t know much about smart phones, but I’ve heard the term “swipe right” a lot on @midnight. The gist, as I understand it, is that it means you’re rejecting the person whose profile and face you see. I don’t know, I’m ignorant. That said, this is funny to me.

    Wow, that stuff I smoked earlier is good. 🙂

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