A little known provision of the Affordable Care Act, or ObamaCare as it is more popularly called, took effect on January 1, 2016. This provision puts breastmilk under the auspices of the Food and Drug Administration. The FDA, working under a total media blackout, rolled out the implementation of this aspect of ObamaCare earlier this month.
Under the newly implemented provisions of ObamaCare, all mothers who indicate they plan to nurse their newborns must register with the federal government. Following registration, they are required to submit samples of their breastmilk for testing on a weekly basis. Their milk will be tested for drugs, alcohol and the presence of garlic.
A positive test for illicit drugs will result in a warrant for the mother’s arrest. A positive test for alcohol will result in a referral to child protective services. If the mother’s breastmilk tests positive for the presence of garlic, a government breastmilk taste tester will be assigned to visit the mother and taste-test her milk. The mother will not be allowed to use a breast pump or otherwise express her milk for the breastmilk taste tester as exposing the breastmilk to air affects its taste.
Mothers whose milk tastes positive for garlic will be issued a warning. Subsequent violations will result in a court-order enjoining them from breast feeding until at least two successive garlic-free tests. Refusal to submit to the taste-test is punishable with a $500 fine and a ban on nursing until consent to submit to the taste test is granted.
Government records regarding the implementation of this aspect of ObamaCare remain sealed. It is impossible to tell how many nursing mothers have been arrested or have had their newborns taken away by child protective services as a result of this new law.
Likewise, the government is silent as to how often it has sent out its breastmilk taste testers. However, a spokesperson for the FDA, who spoke on condition of anonymity, assured that the taste testers have all undergone a rigorous 6-month training program to learn proper suckling techniques as well as to distinguish between the presence of garlic as compared to onion or other herbs or spices in breastmilk.
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